Friday, 29 August 2014

Dear Daddy... I love You Lord.






Dear Daddy,



Good morning sir, ehhhmmm I just want to say Thank you. Thank you for today the 29th of August 2014, for my life, for your love, for your guidance and for your Protection. Daddy as I type this post yeah, I smile. Why is cause I know that I should do this. This morning I had series of battles deciding if to do this or not, and you know i tried to justify why I shouldn't, but You won now papa :) and I thank you I did. heheh I mean Papa I had already finished this post and then Bam, the system refreshed and we were back to scrap, so I know that that man down below doesn’t want me to do it. It is well oh.



I thank you for my life, for Daddy, Mummyssss, Dockitar, Puppa, Mr Mamman,  1 +THE ONE, Janyl, Temmie, Moby, Ernie, Amaka, T-Notes, Cee, CPC, Seyram, Scarlet, Ugo, Sykik, Atinuke, Toinlicious, Muriel, Mannie, Ritah, Evey-koko, Gbemi, Yours Truly, Ms BNG, Skinny Mofaya, Lhurve, Tosyne, Peace, Akagha, Mimi, Igbe, Eloka, Tolani, Adaeze, Funmi, Bim, Chinay, Sarah, all Mirror of Justice Theatre Troupe IMSU members, and for everyone who makes out time to visit our Blog. They give me a reason to keep writing. 



Papa, you know my name, my pain, my shame, and my cross. You were there for me when life got so fucked up, and I saw no hope. It was you who kept me going when my world was darker than coal, you helped me when the people I trusted in Uni tried to sink me in a plight to be more successful, but you held my hand through it, and brought me out of that Wahala school. You were there for me when the people I trusted sooo muccchhh looked me in the eyes in 2013, and told me I was no good, and I wouldn’t serve with my colleagues, you saw my tears and my pain. Daddy do you remember how I called you out?? Remember how I cursed and blasphemed your name? Remember how everyone I ran to for help said they could do nothing? ** Deep sigh** Well Lord I remember, and I say Thank you very well. I mean I never knew the future, but when I did all those things, you never got mad and took my life, when I tried to drink to death, and Sex was my only succor, you kept me strong. Today I just want to thank you cause looking forward, all I can say is that it can only be GOD. You gave me 6 figures, gave me a WONDERFUL blog Fam, gave my famly hope, and made a 1 time slave a king. Why do you love me so much? Thank you GOD.



Today is a BIG day for me, as I intend to step up my status both Career wise, and Emotional wise **whispers daddy amma gonna propose Today, and all I can say is into your hands I commit this day. Please dont let my heart Break again oh :). I thank you cause you are the King of Kings, the Lord of Lords, the ancient of days, the unchangeable changer, the Girlfriend provider, the Hope of the sick, the life giver, the Billionaire maker, the game changer, and the King maker. 



Why did I do this post dear GOD? that I don’t know. But what I know is I fought many battles to do it, but as David said, I will not give unto GOD that which cost me nothing. So Thank you for the grace to. Thank you for this wonderful Job that turned my life around, thank you for Jilda who makes my life beautiful with her voice, Thank you for my first delegation. What more can I say papa? I love you Lord with all my heart. xx


Signed.

JdB



P.S: Great Young mind, I don't know why I did this post, but all I want you to know is that in this life, when you feel you are down to NOTHING, please know that GOD is up to SOMETHING, and never forget that at the end of everything, everything will be alright. So if everything is not alright now, then you are not at the END. No matter what, PLEASE don't, NO! please NEVER give up on your Dreams.

****DISCLAIMER****

The Dear Daddy series was initiated  by 1 + THE ONE of oneplustheone.blogspot.com, and this post was inspired by her love for GOD. Hey GOD reads Blogs you know, he is Ominipresent. :) 



Cheers.

#Udo

Monday, 25 August 2014

The PURSE-suit of Happiness.





Good morning great Young mind, what’s cracking?? What’s the freaking 411?? Mehn before I say anything yeah, let me just tell you that I met ANOTHER girl. Lmao! Yep. And **in I.K of BBA's voice… Meeehhhnnn she fine. You see ehn working for someone can be frustratingly tiring sometimes. This life is a very funny place oh! Last week was Crazzzily boring for me, as my Oga’s them, that are always putting me on High tension traveled to Abuja and Obodo onyibo respectively, so I practically lounged through last week. Except for one Mumu Gap Analysis presentation I went for, from which all I learnt was GAP Analysis. Hehehe.. So as I was lounging on my own jejely oh, thinking my last week would end perfectly, I mean Monday to Wednesday involved just replying correspondences, and PLENTYYYYYYYYYY.... BLOGGING. Kai I went to almost every blog available that last week sha. **covers face, until Bam on Thursday Evening (Note the evening oh) I got one mad mail by 5 PM… (note the 5 PM again oh). I mean that was freaking COB, who gives a 22 year old officer an assignment by that time. So forming office Engr nah, I did overtime and decided to do the work, and then on Friday morning, my Oga broke my heart, and said “”THIS IS VERY WRONG!, and cannot be used”” Mehn I was burnt! Furious, Frustrated, and I mean **in Tibs voice godamnbulshit kinda Angry. Because of that calculation, I suffered both Mental, Traffical, Hungerical, and Overtime-ical stress on thursday, and all I get is a “”This is wrong” and the document wasn’t used for the meeting as planned. I don’t know oh, but it made me feel like Dead weight. :(… grrrr..nawa oh! Okay that’s the bad part of the story, so Part 2... The good part was that, You know they say there is a silver lining behind every cloud yeah, **Smiles well It was in the midst of this Overtime Cloud abi na hurricane, that I met that Fine babe of life above, Damn she finnneeee, and plus she is more confused.com than I am. Her name is You like Amebo ehnnnn lmao, lets just call her I.W Heheh. Oya let me confess, I went as far as using my Blog to Toast her get her attention! Oh mehn Thank god for the blogger status oh! In fact I will do an ID card and write C.E.O Young and Confused Blog, and flash it on every BRT I board :). Plus I think I am in love with her oh, yep i am master of catching feelings now! Hehehe scratch that oh jari… The Babe probably doesn’t have my time sef. I wanted to go out with her yeah, but I don't want to be too forward, plus hey, I have had too many heart attacks breaks this year, I have lost hope oh jari.


So… How was your weekend? Mine was Busyyy… I went on this long Journey with my Dad to Ogun state, and we ended up eating Lunch in a nylon bags… yep! like village men kinda lunch. Soup in a nylon, Fufu in another ** covers face but it was fun though. So this morning, permit my Epistle to revolve around something you already know, permit me to ask a question. 



WHAT DETERMINES HAPPINESS?



Is it determined by a girl you meet on a BRT bus that is fine like the morning star (**Winks @ Mr. Mamman), or is determined by your account balance reading 6 figures, or even 9 if you are lucky? Is Happiness determined by that Certificate or Diploma which reads 1.1, or 2.1 Honors, or by that Child that your husband did night vigil to pump into your stomach? Or is it by the numerous houses and investments that one is able to acquire? Or by that wonderful boy friend, or husband that you have, or wish to have? The truth is I don’t really know.


Life through my eyes is a bloody confusion, as I seem to be transitioning into a man faster than I ever imagined, but I am learning on a daily basis. You see in my 22 years 8 months, I have searched for happiness daily. I have used pursuing Women (yep.. a lot of times), Alcohol, Sex, Pornography, Coffee (heheheh yes nau), Video games, and Savvy tech devices to try and CREATE happiness, but I can boldly say that none of these ever worked. Every day, I watch people struggle so hard to create a life for themselves, work so hard in search of more money as they believe that Money creates happiness. I mean, i went to the market last Saturday, and watched as the butchers hustled throughout my stay to cheat, and hustle money. I wake up every day and see the Nigerian roads flooded with humans in a crazy endless search  for happiness, I see ladies struggling to find the right man all in a bid to be happy, but meeting I.W on that BRT last Thursday made me understand that Happiness is a choice, a decision, a conscious effort. I mean we all don’t have it perfect in this life, but deciding to be happy in the midst of the uncertainties of life is what makes it matter.I Dont know her well yet, but that Babe is AWESOME...


As I sat down at the back seat of my father’s LIMOUSINE (Trust me that man loves that old rugged Motor), Dad told me Tales of his time in Obodo onyibo, about how he struggled to start life doing the basest of jobs, how he worked through the winter in search of the golden Fleet , and in all, I saw the smile on his face as he described his experiences. You see Dad has been through the craziest of times, but just Like I.W, he always makes a conscious effort to be happy regardless. I recall when we lost the house, First thing he said was

""You guys go buy a TV, that will make us happy, And so if FG says we should run for our lives, we will not be left out"

So Right there and then I realized that Happiness is not about Money. But its a choice, it is a positive conscious decision to take a step, to make a move, to choose your emotions, to smile in the midst of crazy times, and in the midst of utmost confusion. So many of us wake up every day HOPING to be happy, but I can boldly tell you that HOPING to be happy will not cut it, but DECIDING to be happy is the key. Choosing to smile even in the most fucked up (pardon my term, just trying to be descriptive) of times will. So this morning yeah, I implore you to be the happiest that you can be, by making a conscious decision to smile in the midst of pains, by finding that one person that makes you happy and sticking to him or her regardless of what his or her flaws might be, and by sticking to GOD, and being grateful for his gifts, and for life. Plus hey, just as My Blog Mother Ms Janyl Benyl says,  ""A GRATEFUL HEART OPENS DOORS OF OPPORTUNITIES.""


I have met and heard so many BOKO HARAM lies about habits that make you happy, but trust me, no Habit indulged in, be it Jah rasta fried rice oh, or Sex related ever works, but what I have learnt is that Love and GOD are the 2 things that guarantee happiness.


Thank you for the last 7 minutes of your time, you guys are just wonderful. I mean the comments I received last week were just awesome, as I just kept taking Notes. Although some one literally called me a smallie oh **Winks at Muriel, but anyway, diarisgoddd. Each Monday, i look forward to being alive, and top of the reason for that is you guys. I duff my cap in honor of you YnC readers.


P.S: Remember I told you guys I was loving one YnC reader by faith yeah, well woooHooo,  it paid off :).. Remember that babe I told you I met on Blogsville now.. ehhmm her name..... is ehmmm.. Scratch that, I don’t know her name yet, but I call her C.P.C. She finally put up a picture of her, and damnn she fine like that oh! I mean I committed the sin of lookery soteyyyyy I should ask for forgiveness :p. But guys I feel I am stalking her too much, so amma just chill back. Kpata kpata if she wants me, ehen I will now accelerate, but if she don’t, I will just **In K-Cee Limpopo's voice Park and Pull over... Shey be that’s what you people thought me to do now last week! After all, we never really know what women want. :)

P.P.S: Shout out to My Brother Ashraff.. hehehe he finally started seeing my Blog. **Whispers is the first family to come over here. :) I am still using Rope to Draw my Elder Brother and Dockitar here, but the Journey still far... :(



Do have a Ghen ghen Week, and be the best that you can be. My prayer for you is that any BRT, bus, or Okada that you have been destined to board to meet your Future partner, or future Job, or future contract will not leave you behind eh... #PastorJdBmode



Cheers.

#Udo.

Thursday, 21 August 2014

#MyBachelorsDiary.. WHAT DO WOMEN WANT SEV?


PRE-SCRIPT: THIS POST IS RANDOMITY AT ITS PEAK, READERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED. IF IT EVER CROSSES YOUR MIND THAT I AM A TROUBLED HUMAN BEING.. LMAO.. JUST REMEMBER THE NAME OF THE BLOG, AND YOU WILL BE FINE... :)



Good morning great Young mind.. Heheheh Friday is Tomorrow. I so can’t wait to stop doing this long Israelite journeys oh! So how was/is your week going? Trust it is turning up eh. It was Moby’s Birthday yesterday, and sooooo in case you did not go there to say HBD, just know that you will stop chopping kiss **in Mobys voice, so run over there ASAP. See ehn, this my Small bory e haf cause wahala sha! So this 8-5 people (especially the Oga at the Top) are always shouting on someones head. You need to see when we do internal progress meetings, mehn be prepping like Jonah was coming.. lmao. One day ehnn that man will come and say “”Duru why didn’t you turn Water into wine”” you will see :(.. The man can like to do magic gann.. he go just dey shout! :( Anywayss, some days back yeah, I had to set up a meeting with one Contractor, and this man was old enough to born me 2 times. But you see his coy was sleeping on top of bike and stalling progress, asin he was slowing things down too much, so I was always shouting at him on the phone. Esshhhin, you needed to see how his management staff were always apologizing on the phone, and they be like Mr. Duru we will improve sir (notice the sir oh), we will step up, justy give us time.. bla bla blaa **In Amaka’s voice. I mean peeps be always calling me sir like it is going outta fashion, and so you would think I am one Dangote or MikeAdenuga. Well No man is too Young to succeed nah. Look at my twin brother Zuckerberg. At my age yeah, he was the Boss. Anyhow sha, I finally scheduled a meeting with the contractor guy, and since my Desk is positioned at the gate man position of the office is the first desk you will see once you open the door, he walked write up to me, and said: Good morning, I want to see Mr. Duru please, and I in my Forming Potential rich man voice Replied, “”I am Duru Adolphus jnr.”” Heheheh The guy was so mad… You needed to see him size me from Head to toe. Lmao. He turned green in vexing, and i was like  Hehehe “I was like we have been speaking on the phone right?”. You know all those see this child kinda reaction?? yep.. i get it all the time :), and I am like Lobatan…  . Throughout the meeting, I am sure all he was doing was calculating my age, and comparing with his last borns age. Well what can I say, Small Bory no be sickness, and maybe when they were apportioning height et al, I was pursuing Woman in heaven. I heard there are plenty fine girls there. :p



So.. kai JdB you can Talk for Africa ehhnnn… WHAT DO WOMEN WANT??? Now this is a question that has been on my mind for a very long time. You see ehn, in the voice of my woman wrapper mentor I.K Osakioduwa of BBA, I like Girlss well… asin they give me a reason to want to become a berra person, to strive for success, to get more money and have a better life. But sadly, I still don’t understand what they really want :(. I have even tried studying my Beautiful lovely Temmie's Blog wella, but I still don’t get it, and when I saw this picture yeah, I just lost hope oh Jari…





In my 22 Years 8 Months, I haf suffered much in the hands of Obirin( Woman in Yoruba). They  have told me very Interesting things. A lady once told me “”Nonso Grow up””, another said “”Duru you love too much””, One said “”You love too quickly””, Another most recently said (This one angered me) “”JdB I like you very Much but…”” The same girl that likes me very much sev went on to create an Imaginary America fiancée just to get me to stop toasting her :(. Asin nawa oh! Na only me waka come ni??? I met this very dope ass chick recently, and I tried to woo her. First off, she was my Oga’s daughter so my small salary was at stake of being slashed into 10 if I broke her nail, talkless of heart, but she was finnneee… She said the one that left me **In Ernies voice confused.com the most.. She said ""Duru I am afraid to love you."" And I was like Nawa oooo… its official, my village people have gathered to do meeting + winchie Congress on my head, plus Tolu’s prayer of not getting a ghen ghen girl till I wanna marry is working :( Shey I be masquerade ni?? abi them put Juju on my face? Lmao. I don’t get aswear.



So this is a mayday call, I need your help to understand what women REALLY want in a guy, cause when I love them with all my heart, they say I love too much and too quickly and people say that scares ladies away, and I am like confused.com X2… How the hell does love scare you away? When I form hard man, and act like a Player Player that I am sadly becoming **Covers face, they say “”Duru I am scared to Love you, you might hurt me!”” Hahaha And I am like this one na spiritual something oh! And when I am too available, and try to be a friend, spend the tiny Money I don’t have, and form Billionaire that I am not, they take advantage of moi, and take me on a JdB buy me this buy me that spree. In the  words of #TeamMofaya Ernies Husband, I tire oooo.. Aswear. I am still vexing with my first girl friend, for not loving me back, I was 16, but the thing is I still love her to bits, so recently I needed to raise (borrow) funds for this business project and I called her, and she was now forming I miss you, and I am like lobatan.. if I come nah, you will use me and  catch crews mcheeww..,.



So this morning yeah, I ask you guys, no I BEG you guys to help a Young and Confused brova out. I implore you my Family and my friends to tell me WHAT DO LADIES REALLY WANT? What kind of man should i become? HOW DO THEY WANNA FEEL? HOW DO THEY WANNA BE TREATED? cause from where I stand, I am Totalllyyyy Young and Confused on that matter.



P.S: Shout out to Amaka, Funmi ( Funmi, you are just a wonderful person, **Oya Chop kiss like Moby says), Erniesha, and every one who tried to get Bim to have my time again. I mean we hadn’t spoken in months, and I really loved her (Dear GOD, please don’t let Bim read this post oh). So thank you. We chatted yesterday, and we were both all smiles.. Eheennnn Did I tell you guys I have a crush on Blogsville? Well I did in my Sunflower Post nah.. Her name is… ehhmmm ehmm ehhmmm don’t know her name? You see ehn I have Faith more than Abraham, so I am using Faith to lof this Girl lmao If iMannie sees this, my swag is dead. I have never seen her, and never met her, but I lovvvvveeee her Humour and I can connect with her really easily. I call her CPC. And yes she is very smart. So kindly visit her Blog and read all the Love nwantintin Toasting comments I have been commenting. I can Stalk for Africa shaaa..…



Shout out to some New Young and Confused readers in tha Buiilldinggg.. iMannie my realest Nigga from the T.T.T family (Yeah if you are not a part of the family yet, berra click on the name to join ASAP oh, they give out 15k for prizes :P, and it’s just mad fun there, plus I met another girl I am tripping for dia oh, her name is Muriel :p ), Funmi Reese, Wonderful Atinuke( A Fantatstic writer), And a big Welcome back to C.P.C my Runaway lofer. **Winks



P.P.S: Please is it just me or there is something Blissful and peaceful about 1+THE ONE, and Peace Itimi’s writing. They both make me so at peace with my inner man (Tomi will say that I am being drawn to Born againship nah. I miss her ehn), and let me not lie.... meehhhnn theyy finnnneeee.… Aaaaiii Zaaaaa.. JdB you be woman wrapper sha! Oh well From my Ribs was made many Women.. so I am on an ultimate search to find my own. But Marriage scares me, it is for life oh!!! **deep sighhh… Still clueless on how I will do it? but In Ernies Voice... Anyhooo, when we get to the River, we will use both Flying boat oh, Helicopter oh, or even Okada to cross it.



P.P.P.S: I just saw a picture on one of my mentors @debolalagos wall on IG. You see ehn, tomorrow is not sure, so live today like its your last, draw up a bucket list, draw up projects, dream big, achieve big, aim high, and love plenty. Cause in all sincerity, no man is too Young to be successful, no man is too young to Die. So Plllleeeeaaaasssseee help me understand women so I can get a ghen ghen girlfiriend, cause Tomorrow is not sure. :)





Cheers Fam, and do have a turning up weekend.  Please click on the names of the Bloggers above. trust me, They will be fun all the way… Yep, them bad like that. Blessss in #TeamMofaya’s voice. 



#Udo…

Monday, 18 August 2014

The 14-FOR-14 CHALLENGE (GROWING UP_ August 2014) EMOTIONS...








Good morning great young mind, what’s cracking? What’s Popping? Before I say anything, permit me to say Aiiii Zaaa…. Lmao. Its a new slang I officially stole from…. You guys know where nah!.... The Queen Dope’s Blog :p. And trust me, I have been repping it all time every time ever since. So first of, I will not complain about Monday today, so moving on… As I typed this post yeah, I took a look at my hands, and it seems they have become fairer or something! Yep!! Fairer. I mean the sanitation is bloody real, at this rate ehn, my hands will soon become see through oh, as I have been washing my hands with anything that forms lather oh (war against Ebola)! Ranging from Toilet Soaps eh, to Antiseptic soap oh, to Ariel, to Jik, to Hypo, I mean anything. As long as it is slimy and can wash hand, mehn I have adopted it! I mean No body wants to die nah, so we be washing hands like it be going outta fashion, thanks to Ebola wahala. Oya **in the words of Moby.. Chop Kiss and let me give you small Amebo.



Last week was bloody scary for me, shout out to Evey Koko for checking on me eh. Remember I told you guys that I used to do over 250 Press ups, and sit ups in search of the body of a god? Well all I still have is the lekpa skinny lanky body of a coffee drinker :( I mean NO muscles, No Biceps talk less of triceps, and yeah NO!!!! 6 packs. What I however have is a pained spine. So mehn last week was pain for me, as my spine ached like I was 70 and had RHEUMANTISM. Also this danged 8-5 was tough the week before as it was 8Am -8Pm, so last week I started to develop a crazyyyy Fever, and then to put insult upon injury and pour sand sand inside my garri, I had a running Stomach, cause I went to one ROAD side canteen to eat and was forming gangster so I didn’t drink water afterwards.. So Bam! all in all, I had a Hurting spine, a growing Fever, and I was constipated. Mehn you needed to see me, I was under self isolation. Mehn I feared I had caught the Ebola Fever oh, so mehn my room was my solace. I had even started writing my will in my head, you know who would take my shoe, my phone, and my Laptop, and started brooding about how I wouldn’t chop all the money I have been mumuishly saving for the past 18 months. Mehn it was scary like that oh, but thank GOD for GOD oh, and for my Dockitar of life, she just eased my fear by telling me I was fine, as i didn't have the major ghen-ghen symptoms... And you needed to see how effective immediate my health bettered. You see ehn, Fear is a crazy thing oh, it can ill and Kill some one. Once I put a call to my sister (yep I see her for only 3 hours a day), and she said what she said, I got well ASAP. And I am like Damn! But you know how I knew that I wasn’t ill, mehn I was still eating like a lion oh. All those one that they were saying Loss of appetite! Taa!!! for where? In the words of Cee.. **Yimu. Cause me ehn, I had breakfast by 7 am or something all through, so mehn Ebola?? Naaahhhh #PastorJdBmode



The weekend was a very eventful one, as it had me in-between moods. You know I hit a target, did some Labour Job, and then I had time to think. So this morning please permit me to tell you something you already know, Permit me to inform you that YOUR PROBLEM IS YOU. When I was Younger, I think 14 or so, I was chilling in the kitchen with my Mum (are youconfused.com? :)) and we were just gisting. She then brought out a bulb of Onion and showed it to me, think she brought like 3 sev and said,


“Junior humans are like Onions, there is no perfect one. And Just as every onion has a scar, is rotten, torn, or has a faulty inside, so are humans””. 


We all have our issues, our Achilles heels, our personal problems, but the thing is that many of us fail to acknowledge that there is really an issue. We constantly limit ourselves and our lives with our Emotions, our fears, our limitations, our Achilles heel, and our self doubt. We constantly create boundaries in our minds, and justify the reasons why we cannot succeed, or be the best that we can be, by validating our inabilities. We let “BUTS” determine our status in life, and we frequently compare, and measure our success with that of another.



The truth is, growing up through my eyes is bloody difficult, as I often feel I am transitioning from a boy to a man at too fast a pace, but Life is teaching me that we all have OUR own destinies, OUR own goals, and OUR own targets, so trying to live up to the standard of another is only going to make us never satisfied with where we are. Many of us constantly pray to GOD to give us what others have, we envy others, we strive to be just like them, we study them, we imitate them, but each time we let our emotions lead us towards competition, the same emotions gradually pull us further away from our originality, making us nothing but copies. Yep, our Emotions are our Enemies, but sadly we create our Emotions subconciously. ;,( Erniesha Tibs said something to me yesterday, she said, Do not pray to GOD to give you what you want, but rather pray to him to give you what you need. So today I implore you, NO!! I beg you to be you, Do you, and to better you. Do not spend your life as an image of another, cause that way you will constantly be an impediment to yourself, you will constantly be a Problem to yourself, and you will constantly be your own Adolf Hitler (enemy) fighting a senseless war against your own Jews (Talents).



Please LIVE YOUR DREAMS, be the best YOU that YOU can be, and remember that You will die soon, and you will never live forever. but when you die, what would you want to be played back on your Heavenly plasma screen? A life of imitation and self imposed limitations? or a genuine life? My Beautiful Blog mother Ms Janyl Benyl said something to me yesterday (I told you my weekend was packed), she said, no man ever becomes successful by bringing others down, or by striving to outperform another, we succeed ONLY by lifting others up, by learning about how the successful got successful, by having the Humility of heart to learn, and by acknowledging our problems and striving tooth and nail to get better than we were yesterday, and not than another. Permit me to add that our Emotions are Eruptive. Take for instance Envy. Envy brings bitterness, Bitterness brings hate, and Hate brings many many more wahalassss. So if you wanna be happy, make another happy, cause you know this life ehn, You Only Live Once oh!, so when you are gone, what do you wanna be remembered for? In the words of Tibs Think bout it..



The 14- FOR-14 challenge is almost over oh! And I am already feeling sad, I mean its been an avenue for me to just pour out my thoughts as they are, but oh well: Dear Ms Janyl Benyl, please lets have a 15-FOR 15 Challenge next year :p.



In other news, **wears My Mr. Nigeria smile, a little birdie told me that someone dumped me oh! As in Dumped me! And I am like all the 2014 dumping  i have gotten in real life never do ba? I am now also being Electronically, and blogically dumped too :(. Nawa oh? Shey na only me waka come ni?? And I am like Aiiii.. ZZaaa… Me! A whole Mr. Nigeria like moi! **Hits hand on the chest.. **In an Igbo Accent, me Oberaeagu, the son of Barrister Adol 1 of **Scratches head Ehhmmm whats that my village name again?? Adaeze Where are you eh??  any how scratch that... Impossicant! Lmao. So I want to through this medium apologize to Erniesha Tibs for being MIA, I mean we sat down over the weekend and had a serious Family Planning session meeting lmao (Oga Mofaya, na Play oh! Abeg oh, I can clearly see the No Trespassing sign sir :)) and so we settled our Wahala.. So Dear Ernie, I am re-proposing to you through this post to not only reengage me, but to be not just my Friend, but My Sister and my Liebster. Action Time.. **Puts one Knee on the ground, brings out My Journal of thoughts and hands it to Ernie.. and in my Upcoming Barritone voice says…. Do you Erniesha, take this post as a sign of my Sistership and Liebstership, to hold it when I misbehave, to bitch slap me when I screw up, and to encourage me when I can't go on **wears Puppy face. So watcha say?



P.S: I will like to say a huge thank you to everybody that has carried this friendship beyond Blogosphere, I mean you guys inspire me with every chat, call, text et al that we have, and I am learning so much day by day from you all. I mean it inspires me how I started blogging totally in the dark, and I met so many others like me that just plunged into the dark with hopes of learning, and I am like gracias to GOD and you all.. You guys are making me a better person, writer and human being, so if you have done it ( I mean contacted me outside here), I would have said like Amaka that I am batting my eyelashes for you oh, but so Fashola does not misinterpret me for a 14 years sentence candidate, I will just want say in the words of Moby Oya Chop kiss… and let you know that I love and respect you sev** In Tosynes voice :).

P.P.S: Dear Ms Janyl Benyl, you mean the world to me. I wish I knew just how I could pay you back for being such a blessing, for caring, and for having my back all day every day.. Trust me, I have plans for you eh!!! Big ones. **Winks

Shout out to Funmi Reese.., her comments made me smile through the weekend, amma gonna stalk you back ASAP Bubba (Bim Akinmade thought me this term :()


Status-check.

 
 1. I am worried about Bim Akinmade of beingme360.wordpress.com, the babe is one of the bestest,  dopest, finest gehs I know, and I miss her so much. I know I was the jerk as ussual, but please if you guys can please go over to her Blog and check on her, and then tell her I miss her, and that  and I am sorry for being a jerk,  I would be very grateful. :(  Yours Truly, I am sure you would like Bim eh, she writes for Bella Naija like you do. :)


2. I am worried about Changing Post codes of changingpostcodes.wordpress.com. I mean this Law babe came to Nigeria for Law school, and she just went dark, I have been writing her, but no show. :( I miss her like mad. 


3. Tightens belt, please eh, where is Tomilola Lawal of withtomi.com? if anyone sees Tomi, please tell her I miss her laughter eh ;(, and I miss her smiles very much.  And tell her that because of her and 1 + THE ONE yeah, I might soon become Born Again.. I said Might oh :) and i mean it.


Peace ITIMI!!!!!!!!! Where are you? And Cee too?? you people have dumped me too shey? All this Dump that all you gehs are dumping me hia and dia, diarisgodooo.. No be only me waka come eh... **crying in French.


Do have a super fab week, and I pray for you that this week, your Internet subscription will not expire when you are broke. I mean that shit is annoying :( its just 18th and i am out grrrr...



Thanks for the past 7 minutes of your time family, you are why I write, why i smile, and slowly but surely becoming part of why I live.. Cheers, and please no matter what, stay young and stay confused... xx



#Udo

Monday, 11 August 2014

EBOLA AND THE NIGERIAN MAN.




Good morning great young mind, how was your weekend? Hope it turned up for you oh, and that you had plenty reasons to celebrate and pop some champagne wearing gloves. Hope you didn’t Bath with salt Hot water and pepper oh! :p Hope you had fun? Please I don’t mean to sound like a Monday whiner, after all I tire no be lazy, but is it me, or are Saturdays and Sundays less than 24 hours?? I mean these 2 days seem to be 17 hours or something, man go just sleep now now, wake up now now,  and bam Monay e haf reach. Mcheeewww. Nawa oh!


So last week was not just hard and busy for me, it was difficult, and in as much as I had the opportunity to do some hanging out with one fine Babe, and Drink some careless bottles before COB, it was still tough all in all. I mean I was so busy that I didn’t have time to be a part of the world last week, and more less a Part of Nigeria. I didn’t have time to understand the gravity of the position that we had gotten ourselves into, nor the quick sand that we were gradually sinking into. I didn’t have time to actually realize that we faced a Potential threat, I didnt have time to know that EBOLA was real here, and killing people. 


So over the weekend, I got time to Lounge and chill, I mean my Doctor of Life sister is home, so I hardly know my way to the kitchen these days buahahahahah. I just Lounge, and Lounge, and Lounge all Saturday, plus my family is finally free from my Biafra meals I used to cook, and all the Rice punishment I gave them all the while :). And I am like Yeaaahhh mehhhnnn!!! This is the life. So during one of my lounging sessions, I was opportuned to read about these Dreaded Ebola thingy I mean it is all over my Timeline on Facebook, so I had no option. Some persons even called me inconsiderate for talking about making money and dreaming big as against posting about Ebola, and I was like nawa oh! and even when I went for Mass yesterday, I realized that 1st of all there was no Holy water Jar at the entrance of the Church, I thought maybe the church warders forgot, so I just went in regardless, and then I later noticed that there was no usual hugging and sign of “Peace of the lord be with you”, I mean the shit just got real, and was high alert. I even saw one over Zealous ANTI- Ebola guy that came to mass wearing winter gloves, and in my mind I am like “Bros, na you fia pass oh” I mean it was funny. So this morning I have a burning anger in my heart, and I thought to come pour it out on my most favorite place in the world, The YnC blog. :)


My first anger is simple, so here goes: NIGERIAN AGENCIES AND MINISTRIES ARE A BUNCH OF NIT-TWITS… You see why I so respect Ms Janyl Benyl (My blog Mother) so much? Months before this Ebola thingy got into Nigeria, she wrote here on the 28th of March 2014, as well as a whole lot of others, warning all west African countries about the potential High risk threat called the Ebola virus, but however nah, Naija as usual, was more interested in sacking Ms. Stella Oduah, and returning those Stupid Coscharis cars she bought for 500 Million Dollars or so, as against setting up PREVENTIVE measures to keep her citizens safe. I mean can we see the level of stupidity our leaders and ministers portray day in day out? How easy would it have been to set up screening centers at the Airports? That way the Liberian man who came into the country would have been deported effective immediate, but NOOO!!! They didn’t. My HOD Traveled to Kenya last week, and then even before he left, we heard word that they were screening people departing. Look at even Ghana, have created preventive measures as a way of protecting her citizens. And then NIGERIA, the self acclaimed “GIANT of AFRICA” mehn nobody berra call this Nation that thing again oh, or else in the word of Erniesha Tibs, I will give that person a Bitchslap aswear.  Now our FG is seeking CORRECTIVE measures, and I am like you knew about this thing, and instead of PREVENTING it then, you did not, and now you seek a cure. Trust the Nigerian Social media, they who have been deceived by the success of the #bringbackourgirls campaign have started an #ObamagiveustheZmappdrug campaign, and I am like: I tire for this Nation jo, I swear this Nation needs an Overhaul.


My Next anger is directed towards  those Bozos called Doctors, Its funny, cause some of these guys have 3-4 Jobs, yet they still complain about funds, and go on stupid incessant strikes. They live so flamboyant a lifestyle, that they see themselves as gods placed on high pedestals, and we as mortals at their mercy. Now I cannot believe that these people who swore to the Hippocratic Oath could have the nerve, and absolute absence of conscience to still remain on an Industrial action in the midst of this crisis. I mean it is sad. My sister is a Doctor (Mehn I love saying this eh.. come be like say she has been one for years lmao), and heaven knows that I know how much she suffered and toiled to get that degree, but I mean regardless of anything, Money nor funding should not be a reason to let people die. Who will find vaccines for these illnesses? who will help the already dying transit easily? If you guys stay on strike, to what clinic will the poor masses go to, having that you are lounging in your houses? I mean most of these goons complaining (I mean Doctors) run Private clinics in their homes, hence the reason they can go on with the strike for as long as possible. They are making money regardless, and are just plain simply greedy.


And finally I rant at the Nigerian Populace. Now when this Ebola thingy started, It was like a Joke. I went on social networks, and all I saw were hilarious pictures, and I as one laughed so hard as I saw these pictures. Some guys covered their faces with nylon bags, and wore gloves et al, it was just funny. But over the weekend, it struck me that a problem with the Nigerian populace, is that we play with everything. I as one have done some stupid jesting in the past that got me into a whole lot of trouble, but this Ebola thing is scary. People are dying, families are being wiped away from the face of the earth like it’s a curse from hell, this shouldn't be a time to pull a wise crack, or create some hilarious picture, this is a time for Nigerians to think, for the Nigerian Medical laboratories graduates to lock themselves in the Lab and mix chemical upon chemical till they find a cure, this should be not a test of Humor, but a test of brains, abilities, and purpose. But oh well, Like my Principal used to call and say to me back in Secondary school, “A Clown will always be a clown”, but Even Hugh Jackman who started his career as a clown, knew when shit got real, and when it was time for him to define his purpose, and chart a new course for his life, he did.


Today as I end my rant, I implore you my Family and my friend to stay safe. I have pointed fingers at the goons and nit-twits that should protect us, but who are too oriented in chasing cash than helping us, I have ranted. But I guess all this changed nothing, and so I point the final finger at you and I. It is us who can save ourselves, it is us who can stop this Virus from going haywire, it is us who can prevent ourselves from having but 21 days to live, it is us who can choose life as against Death. So today I implore you all to stay safe, to wash frequently not just your hands, but up to your elbows. As a child, and even as a 22 year 9 month old that I am, I hate bathing 2 times a day, maybe its my way of saving water and soap in the house J:), but oh well I hate it. but I guess it’s time for the lot like me to start taking showers like it was going out of fashion, and start a new self hygiene process. At this moment my Dear Nigerians, its not bathing with salt and Water plus maggi, Tin Tomato, Thyme and curry, nor Kolanut that will save us, it is only GOD, and our self hygiene.


Permit me to share with you something Dr. Duru shared with me last night, I mean she was in the next room oh, but she still chose to send it to me via Whatsapp, and I am like: oh mehn Internet has made all man Lazy eh lolz so here goes: 

US Embassy Alert:    In order to help our Embassy Community better understand some key points about Ebola virus we consulted with our medical specialists at the U S State Department & assembled this list below, worded in plain language for easy understanding. • The suspected reservoirs for Ebola are fruit bats.
• Transmission to humans is thought to originate from infected bats or primates that have become infected by bats. Under-cooked infected bat and primate (bush) meat transmits the virus to humans.• Human to human transmission is only achieved by physical contact with a person who is acutely and gravely ill from Ebola virus or their body fluids.
• Transmission among humans is almost exclusively among caregiver family members or health care workers tending to the very ill.• The virus is easily killed by contact with soap, bleach, sunlight, or drying. A washing machine will kill the virus in clothing saturated with infected body fluids.• A person can incubate the virus without symptoms for 2-21 days, the average being 5-8 days before becoming ill. THEY ARE NOT CONTAGIOUS until they are acutely ill.
• Only when ill does the viral load express itself first in the blood and other bodily fluids (e.g vomit, feaces, urine, breast milk, semen and sweat).• If you are walking around you are not infectious to others.                           
• There are documented cases from Kikwit, DRC of an Ebola outbreak in a village that had the custom of children never touching an ill adult. Children living for days in one room huts with parents who died from Ebola did not become infected..
• You can't contract Ebola by handling money or swimming in a pool. •There's no medical reason to stop flights,close borders, restrict travel or close embassies,businesses or schools.• Always practice good hand washing techniques, you will not contract Ebola if you do not touch a dying person.Pls share this information & try not to spread panic on social media




Thank you so much for the past 7 minutes of your time, you do us a great honor with it, as there is no me without you. My prayer for you this week is simple: MAY EBOLA NOT COME NEAR NEITHER YOU, YOUR FRIENDS, YOUR FAMILIES, NOR YOUR ENEMIES,  cause trust me, that shit is scary.


P.S:  The good thing about Ebola is that even Prostitutes are scared as hell. On my way to my desk each morning, I usually see like 10/day, but this morning, the streets of Ademola Alakija was as clean as there was a freaking curfew, and then it hit me, that no one wants to die… Tomi and One + The ONE are doing some real Operation on my conscience through their blogs oh, so I might soon turn to a Born Again again sef, cause the fear wey dey catch me no be here… but oh well, no one knows… 

Do have a Ghen-ghen week oh, and please stay safe. No SEX, no Hugs, No French kissing, no Clubbing, no PDA. I mean its rational to stay celibate for now and stay safe, you have the rest o your life to fles, but for now stay safe people, please. And if your are outside Nigeria, all I can say is: Please Pray for Nigeria, cause Shit just got real here. We are scared as hell. :(.

Cheers.

#Udo

Monday, 4 August 2014

SPOKEN WORDS







Good morning great Young mind, how was your weekend? Hope it turned up wella for you and yours eh? Hope you had madt fun? Mehn its Monday again oh, and from the bottom of my heart, all I can say is Mttcheeewww. :( I mean this life is somehow, by this time last week I was lounging, and now it’s a coffee affair to stay awake :(


Well my weekend was super fun oh, I traveled to the Ancient city of Ijebu Ode, Ogun state for a Yoruba Owambe Party on Saturday, and it was mad. As in there was toooooo Much to eat and Drink. **In the voice of I.K of BBA.. Yorubas can Partttie!!… Kai!. I mean Yoruba’s rock. Can you believe that before they said the Opening prayer, they had already shared a plate of ghen-ghen rice and a bottle of malt, asin ALREADY oh. In my mind I was like Today na Today oh! Mehn I was amazed. If you go to an Igbo party yeah, Firstly after waiting 2 Hours from the scheduled commencement time, they will then do the opening Prayer. After the opening Prayer, Nsobu ga Bata (Trouble will enter) as they will now start doing that their Yeye  welcome to high table, then give an Igbo version of Martin Luther King Jnrs Speech as Opening speech by the chairman oh, then break Kolanut (Can you imagine, this is  a reception for heaven sakes where people come to eat and go, who gives a damn about a stupid Kolanut :) ), then they will give another Obama’s Yes I can welcome address by the host etc. At the end of all these Protocols ehn the Host of Angels called Worms in your stomach will be singing for joy, and when they eventually start sharing the food, it goes from The Richest to the poorest, from the Front to the back of the hall. Heheheh So if you are a wedding crasher like I used to be, we would be at the wwwwaaaayyy back Fasting and praying that the food doesn’t finish before it gets to us, or that they will not say Meat has finished. Hehehehe On those days, guymen would some days end up collecting ONLY bottled water, and snap picture on an Empty stomach as if we wrere having fun... kai the pains of Instagram. :( Igbo Kewnu Hia. I mean at the Party of Saturday, they were just serving food everywhere at the same time. I mean you turn left.... Ushers, turn right... more ushers. The catering ushers were were on a roll. The bad thing sha, was there was a man at my table who nearly went home hungry, cause the haphazard sharing was not in his favor. I pitied the guy sha, he was just drinking water. Lmao. We had to call on the ushers to come end his agony. 


So something happened last week that inspired this post, I in my normal playful nature pissed off a very Beautiful girl, and by JdB’s book of Woman chasing, it is a sin to make a Fine girl angry at you for too long. So you needed to see me apologizing to this Beautiful Babe of life like she was my wife. Kai… me and woman sha… So it had me thinking, and inspired this. So… SPOKEN WORDS.. 


Speaking is one of the easiest things to do when one is hurt, it’s pretty easy to open up our lips and cuss, swear, rant, and pour out all the pain that lies in our hearts. Its even really easy for us to crack a joke at the expense of making another feel really bad and hurt. Sometimes this happens mistakenly, as we say things we do not mean, while at other times, its very intentional, as we say certain things out of Anger, and sometimes out of pain. Life is teaching me that one of the hardest things to correct is not an image created based on Action, but an image created based on words spoken, cause people might forget what we did for/to them, they will surely forget what you said to them, but they will NEVER EVER forget how you made them feel. So it’s really a matter of feelings, as this seem to stick to the hearts of humans for a long time. 


When I was a kid, 8-10 to be precise, I was this kinda crazy “oh GOD what kind of a child is this” child you know the kind that says to my Mother “”I will tell my Daddy for you”” like if she wasn’t his wife heheh, and the kind that if I got really upset by something my Parents did to me, I would scatter the entire living room in defiance. Mehn I was bad, I would put the flowers under the cushion, bring down all the pictures, take off all the detachable cushions and throw everywhere, tear the calender into shreds, turn over the center table but I never touched the Televison oh, cause I never ever forgot how I was whipped when I damaged the television the last time, you see my craze had a little rationality.. kai I was bad.  But one of the things I know I did the most when I was angry was say Hurtful things to my Mum, siblings and Elders. I would point at my Elders and say how much I hated them, tell them they were wicked, heartless, and how I wanted them out of my life. I so cannot count how many Nuclear Family meetings they called on my head. it was on one of those counseling days, an Elderly woman once said to me: 


“Nonso, Spoken words are like Eggs, once an Egg falls to the ground and breaks, it can never ever be put back together, and so it is with words. When a word is spoken, it can NEVER be called back forget all those I take it back that Onyibo used to talk. When you hurt someone with your words, its like a needle that pierces deep into the heart of the recipient.””


Life through my eyes is an inbalance, but I am learning that it is better to heal with our words than to hurt, better to SHUT-UP when we are angry and go take a lot of Alcohol, or sleep, than to open up our lips to vent out. Cause just like the Elderly woman above said, once a word is proclaimed, it sticks to the heart of the recipient for life.


P.S: Kindly permit me to tell you something you already know, your words can Heal or kill, create or Destroy, mend or bend, so I implore…. NO! I beg you to Think before you talk, I beg that just before you insult that Crazy guy that stepped on your shoes, or the drunk that overtook you like a moron on the road, that you imagine that these people probably have problems in their lives, so correct them nicely and smile, cause who knows you might have just healed them. And when you really hurt someone unconsciously, i beg that you do well to say I am sorry.


P.P.S: As the very confrontational person I am, I advice that you actually go ahead to Tongue lash those who deserve it oh, some people are just mumu by nature. :p


Thank you for the past 7 minutes of your time, you do us a great honor with it. My prayer for you is that in this month of August, you shall have cause to throw a Yoruba Owambe party that has small chops, Big meats the size of my fist, Small rice with plenty Salad (as in the quantity of the salad is some times more than the rice), I just hope you will have a cause to celebrate soon, but please don’t fail to send me an Invite, cause if you don’t, and I hear About the party, mehnnnn Your Kidnap is sure. 


Cheers People, and do have a ghen ghen week ahead.


#Udo.