Pre- Script: All post written under the #MyBachellorsDiary series, are born out of total confusion, and search for wisdom. I mean I am a bloody young and Confused 22 year old, and if you don’t Teach me, then who will??
Good morning great Young mind, what’s cracking people? How was the weekend. Grr.. Its Monday and mehn this is most definitely the hardest day of the week, I mean why! Why!! Why!!! did there have to be Monday? Mchheeewww.. I started following Eric Thomas the Hip Hop preacher on Instagram, and the guy dey form Thank GOD it’s Monday, and each time his video clips play ehn, I be like this guy has spiritual problem. I mean what tha Fuukkk… Monday and Gratitude are never supposed to occupy the same sentence. Mchewww… awon oloshi! Well sha, shey na me dey form Inspirational movement :( So how was your Sunday, mehn mine was very ghen ghen oh! I ate.. ate… ate and slept.. slept.. slept... Plus My dad finally let me go out with the car again, but it was to the petrol station this time. What can I say, Half Bread is better than Chin chin nah.. You won’t believe that after I form Fine boy finish, with my Bad Super man tee and matching Converse All Star kicks, came down from the car like a Baddoo, and was like in Olamide’s voice Shout out to awon goons mi, bought the Petrol as asked, and then bounced back into the car, my Dads limousine of life refused to start oh! Kai! It was humiliating.
That car is dragging age with me sha, so I am not surprised :( I
was like haba!! And in Ernies Voice, I shouted…. Chei My Life! Heheheheh I had
to throw away my Pride of Africa, and ask the Petrol attendants to help push
the vehicle to a side.. I have been telling Daddy to buy PATHFINDER 2008, he no
gree, now see falling hand. As a guy man now, and as Engineer that I am, I came down from the pushed
vehicle, popped the hood, hit the battery head, and Bam, the car started…
hehehe if you see as I screeched out of the MRS filling station ehn, you would
think I was Paul Walker (R.I.P).
So all of you know that I am in love nah, in case you don’t know, well I am. We CELEBRATED OUR 2 WEEKS ANNIVERSARY YESTERDAY and we are even planning on meeting the parents sef.. but on a second thought yeah, I am like babe wait first, let my Money reach 7 figures. Shey I can talk for Africa ba?? Heheheh Yep that’s what Peace always says! **Whispers I like that ghe ehn. So I have been thinking: Why don’t they teach us about SEX in church? I just don’t understand why. See I have always been a problem child, I am kinda surprised I haven't sent any geh to Pregnancy leave yet. I mean I woke up at age 7 years, as in my eyes just opened, and so I remember every bladddy thing I have done fronm age 7 till now, and you see I have always liked ghesss… I was the kind of 7 year old that my class mates would say “”Ah!!! Everybody see what Nonso and …….. ( the blanks always contained a girls name) are doing, and they would sing the “”Ghen-ghen-ghen, I will tell aunty for you”” song (So you see why I like the ghen ghen phrase :) ). Lets just say I did thingsssss ehn, and this my hands have been there and done that.
Moving on to Teenage life became different, I became a religious brother, Drama President and all, so I had to wear Tie like I was the owner of the church, and Tuck in my every shirt, every Sunday. It was good oh, and I had a good image outside, but you see in the midst of my HOLINESS, I still had the Monster in me, the cravings for Sex and all. And while the Pastor always thought us to Zip up, and Close up Sunday after Sunday, I was but a Pastor by Day, and a Sex Monster by night **covers face.. I pray my sister or Mother or Blog mother don't read this post oh! If not I am screwed.com. I was like the Wear Wolf kind ( Sheybe my name is kuku Adolphus meaning Royal wolf). Sex was still a part of me but on a concealed level, and looking back at it, I see it as Self deceit, as no one had to know I was indulging in sexual activities where as I was. Later on, University came and I totally went Celibate.com, no Sex for 5 years, no clubbing, and no dating.. Don’t be scared, I entered Uni at 15, came out at 20, so it was in my Pre- maturity stage, and I did this cause I wanted good grades, and I thank GOD that I got them small. However, since I graduated in 2012, and refused to serve, abi na was refused to serve the Government, I have been chasing women, and money like they have both been running outta fashion.
This post was however inspired by a brother i met on one of my jumping bus, and Trecking sprees a couple of weeks ago. You see this my friend, more like a Christian mentor works with KPMG. Now for a heads up, if you work in KPMG Nigeria, then you are on your way to 6 figures in no time, so this Brother is relatively rich! But having that we are racking brain for ourselves, neither of us have been bold enough to spend more than 70 percent of our savings on a car, so we both haven’t bought our Range rover Evogue yet..
Kai Dear Lord please give me my Exxon Mobil Job, and my TCN job
too oh! Not forgetting my Oando own.. As we cruised around Lagos in our LEGxus jeep
that evening, we got talking about cash, about our careers, and off course as
inspired by me about Women. And then he
said something that struck me: he said that He is freaking Nervous around women,
to the extent that when he sits next to a particular lady at the office, he
gets nervous, and starts to sweat. First of, I laughed my ass out! hheheheh Shit
I have to go! My Oga just came :( and to say that I was surprised was to say the Sincere
Truth! The thing is this Brother who I am sure is totally straight cause I know
his present Churchy geh friend, has issues relating to the opposite Sex due to what
we were taught about sex Years ago. I mean they scared us soooo much about Sex
that it seemed that if we indulged, we would die sharply. That was just wrong.
I guess we all agree that at one time in our lives, the church was the major point of gathering where we met our Friends, where we me our First love, and where we were always super excited to be, and I hate to say it but the Church in Nigeria pretend a lot. They fail to admit that more than 70 percent of their Youths are sexually active. I mean they know yeah, but they just fail to accept it and that to me is worse than sad. I put up an update on Facebook last night, and still few people were willing to comment, as many still believe the norm that Sex shouldn’t be spoken about talk less of indulged in. As a Youth, all I hear in church is Abstain! Abstain!! and ABSTAIN, and even here on Blogsville, I have come across a couple of very Nice blogs, with really vibrant Blog authors, plus really Beautiful writers who totally make Sex look like its wrong on all basis, I think that if the church teaches people more about the freedom of sex, and don’t paint it so much as a holy grail as it is depicted in the society of today, then I believe that there would be less amount of STD’s transmitted, less amount of Children born out of wedlock, less amount of abortions, and less amount of Deaths, as the level of curiosity and inexperience will drop. So my Qustion this confused Monday morning is Why don’t they teach us about Sex in church? Cause whether they accept it or not pleeeennntttttyyy people are doing the deed in the dark.
P.S: I might have lost connection with this post at a time, you see my Boss walked up to my table and asked I prepare a document by 6:23 Am, and I hate to paste later than 8:30 am, so we tried to rush this up by multi tasking, and forming superman. Plus i have a meeting by 9 Am. Shit My Life!!! Sorry for any Typos, biko :( pardon me Biko.
Thank you for the past 7 minutes of your time, you do me a great honor with it, and I am humbled cause you wonderful awesome human beings, make out time to come and teach and inspire me with your kind comments, and your time. So my prayer for you this week is that all that your heart longs for, whether good or bad
na you sabi oh, will
be yours in this coming week. Turn Up Turn Up People, the month will soon end..
Don’t you smell christmas already??
Cheers fam, and do have a ghen ghen week.