When this blog is over, I wonder what would be said of me, I wonder what I would be remembered for, and I wonder what time and tide will have as my record. I turn 23 in 2 days, and here I am immersed in an ambivalent feeling, with uncertainty and confusion clouding my mind, teary eyes, wondering if I have achieved, wondering if I have touched at least 1 life, wondering if I was born to be alone. But I guess I will never know. I guess it is only time and tide that will sincerely tell how I fared.
As we drove from the place I sleep, to this place where I have turned to not just a battle ground of survival, but a place of hope, It was said on the Radio about how Dr. Myles Munroe and his family had passed away a couple of hours ago due, to a plane crash at the Bahamas. This in a little way justified the question a PhD student and blogger friend :P asked me yesterday when I sought her for advice. She said “”Duru I love you and all, but what if you died tomorrow? Would you be happy for the decision you are about to take” This was a sincere question that had me stop and think. If I died tomorrow, would I say that I lived, loved and left a legacy? Well I dunno, but what I am certain i would know, is that i would have numerous tales about how I have subconsciously pushed away everybody that has loved more out of fear of not being good enough, than out of them not loving me enough. You see last Saturday, I THINK I pushed away the only person that has ever loved me, the only person who even right now I thought about and smiled, the only person who believes in my dreams, and who can call me an ODE without me closing my Fist in anger, I think I pushed away Wajilda.
So today, I am both tired of myself, and angry at myself. When I started blogging yeah, I didn’t know what the hell I was doing. I had met Janyl Benyl, and she had inspired me in the most subtle of ways to be a better human being, she had giving me hope to stay true to who I was, and best of all is that she had given me attention. I mean I was numbed by her acts of kindness and sincerity, so I went out on a journey, a journey not aiming to be like her though, but to touch at least 1 life the way that she had done mine. Truth is most times I ask myself if I have been able to touch a life, cause in all sincerity, it is you guys who touch mine week in and week out as against the reverse.
My Journey of blogging has brought me to the feet of many awesome writers, and when I met 1 + THE ONE I felt bliss.. I remember the first day I visited her blog, I mean iFROZE.. Now! Having that I am a woman wrapper by default, seeing both ladies and guys confess to Christianity, and abstinence the way they did over there left me Amazed.com.. (MTN 9723-8870-8709) Sitting down on this my Jangolova sit, swaying from side to side, I dunno what I love more about Ayo, whether it is her Stick-to-itiveness to her believes and faith, or her ability to NEVER judge nor look down on anyone, more like on me… Lemme give you a gist, beneath all these Gentlemanliness and Confusion is a Monster in a cage, but Ayo always finds away to tame it, and tell me how much GOD loves me. I almost became a Born Again oooo, but hey, why deceive myself, she helps me to love GOD more, and that’s just perfect. 1 I love you loads.. From Oneplustheone.com I met Tomilola Lawal. Now Angel Tomi as I know her is this very simple smart lady that never, and I mean never! gets upset. I mean she only saw my comment, and reached out to me, taking time to explain to me the need to become better. Why I will never forget Tomi is because she came across to me more like a friend, than a Blogger, what more could an utterly confused 23 year old looking for peace ask for? The journey in my confusion kept me going, and then Like a missile from the USA sent to the distraught Afghanistan, Erniesha Tibs came to the YnC blog, and my oh my this place became not just a Freaking Party, but a home. How can I forget you Ernie or your Awesome Oga Boss Skinny Mofaya ( A brother and an Egbon) ? Why will I forget you guys who make me smile at each opportunity, and gave me hope beyond measures? nah.. In Wajilda's voice.. Not gonna happen... :) Or Shall I forget the beautiful and witty Cee? Hell No! Cee was the second person to ever drop a comment here, and it was on a beautiful Sunday. As I took out my Tab and saw her kind comment, I knew straight away that such a beautiful comment could come from a beautiful lady. I must say that as at when Cee came yeah, I still didn’t know what I was going to do with this Blog, but then like a strike of lightning, T-Notes the blog sniffer came here, and my I was glad. He was the first person to ever believe in me, to ever Feature the ordinary Young and Confused blogger, and he gave me a direction. Its more like T-Notes threw the bone and said JdB fetch, and my oh my was I glad to fetch. T-Notes doesn’t know this, but he gave direction to my confusion, as before him yeah, all I was was a scalar quantity without a direction, like smoke being blown here and there by the wind. It was even T-Notes that brought the awesome Toinlicious Legend or is it Toin Alsina now?? **Winks, who has morphed from just being a mentor and a blogger, to being a true friend and my Obirin Egbon. Then came Amaka the first person who transited from Blogger to Friend, I won’t forget how I met her, and how she introduced me to the beautiful Temmie whose teachings of love were ever effectfull in helping get hitched to Wajilda. I mean at a time yeah, I had to go to Exclusivetins.blogspot.com to get tips on how to score, and my I did, so Temmie your name is going to be on my heart for life. With Amaka also came Mannie, who in Wajilda’s voice I love to call Myyy Nigga, this brother has my back all time every time, and I am glad to have him on the YnC blog. Shall I forget the ever beautiful Moby who always leaves us all in stitches, who gave me tips on how to get Laid, and told us about the cockroach that almost killed her? No! She makes blogging fun. :)
Blogging has been to me more of a search for wisdom as against a means of teaching, that’s why I will never forget Rhapsody’s comment about the values of Family, and why I will always remember and smile at the thought of Mo who calls me an Aristo. Lmao… That child reminds me of me at 17… I think she should meet Seyram, as both of them are in my eyes the future of blogosphere, as they are ghen ghen like that. I recently met Chukwuma, and although I have been trying so hard to survive that I haven’t been to his blog yet, he strikes me as someone similar to Ice Law who is not just a fashion blogger, but a friend, and a partner in crime since we both are
tripping for and eying the
beautiful fans of Ronii Davies whose smile seems to make everything right. I mean visiting
Ronnii’s blog always leaves me with a (ETISALAT 47664-70090-54634) song in my head.. The track by Wizkid
that goes.. She be my fine fine fine lady eeh…. Fine lady :). heheheh May i also clearly state that I am also tripping for the beautiful Ugo who is currently serving her country at Nassarawa state ( Mehn i am not sure if i will do that thing ooo...) Mehn that girls smile na die, and her beauty is spot on. :* See how life without Jilda is leading me to my old ways **Crying in French...
Now this post promises to be really long, but I promised my sef that I would state everyone, so kindly bear with me, please. Down here on Blogger, I have met people of different professions; lawyers, Bankers, Doctors, MBA and MSc Holders, PHD holders
that don’t want us to know they
are doing PHD :p ,
financial analysts, CEO of start up coys like the Prestigious Mamman Ashraff my
Brother, mentor and Friend, who by the way is hugely tripping for One.. I just pray one day they will meet in real life, and live hapily ever after., Engineers
and Students, and it leaves me awed at how we can all drop all that we are at
the door of our Monitors, and come down here and be equal. No Pride, no Variation in Level, all
same, and all humble. Shit my spine is hurting ooo Now this; Blogging! In my eyes, this is living. I met
Scarlet and Fredilia a while ago, and my I miss them. I haven’t been the most
faithful of bloggers to them, but still they have a place in my heart for life.
This next person has me melting and not just tripping. Oh mehn! Barely her thought makes me smile.. I mean the thoughts of Changing PostCodes… I HAVE TO PAUSE HERE.. I GOT TO THE 8-5 LATE, SO I COULDN’T HAVE
ENOUGH ME TIME, AND MY OGA IS ON MY HEAD FOR ONE REPORT! :(
brb…. 20minutes after O ya now I have small
breathing space, the report can wait small :) She
is officially the most beautiful lawyer I have ever met, and what amuses me the
most about her is how she always smiles at my utter confusion, even when she is
under immense pressure from NBA. It is sure to me that she will make a fine
barrister. I should be in Abuja soon, and I pray I will meet her. Oh! Chioma of life.. hehehe in my head now ehn, I am hearing that Igbo Artist going Chioma eh!! Chioma!!! Hehehe
there was a time we traveled by road in my dad’s only travelable car, we heard that song all
the way, as that was the only CD in the car: :). It feels like just yesterday when I first met Engr. Chioma Cliverly on blogsville. She and Sogie Iggie showed up at almost the same time, and
their beauty as well as simplicity left me wowed. I mean I always saw ladies as
adorable creatures yeah, but here on Blogsville, they are more of Adorable
Angels, who have a heart of gold if properly handled. You need to see how i blush like a fish each time Chioma calls me handsome.. choi my head use to swell ehn... Cliverly introduced me to
Auserehl, and she and Jessica Allen are 2 bloggers I am looking forward to
stalk, lets just say I have been Rabbish with Time management, but I promise to
get better. :D Are you still reading this?? Wow! Thank you so much, I am humbled
by your time…
I have always wanted to meet a couple of bloggers outside blogsville, especially that crazy geh called Zoe, as her blog never dulls, and she can make your stomach muscles ache out of laughter.. Zoe is gifted abeg, and writes just like Moby. :) Hence when I received word of am opportunity to meet and chill with My Numero Uno and personal Agbani of life Tosyne, the Fine boy of TTT Fam Blog, who we are still planning to kidnap Gbolahan, the awesome and co-ordinated Lily, who is an awesome event planner... the amazing and ever pretty Judith and the Zeezah-Choi of life whom due to merely sitting next to, all the hairs on my body stood attention :), I was glad and felt utter fulfillment, as i grabbed it like a one time opportunity. However 2 of the people I will never forget, No! 4! That I have met here are Mzz. Sykik, Wonderful Beautiful Toinlicious, the classy Ms TLG and the Intelligent Oyinlola Sobowale. These 4 ladies are wonderful in every facet, and I never go to their blogs without leaving with that Wow feeling. Hehehe Sykik and Toinlicious are like Siamese twins in my head ooo, and with all due respect accrued, they are the craziest tush bloggers I have ever met.. heheheh But I have to say that I have a natural respect for them regardless, as even in the midst of their Play play and Jonezing, I still have full and utmost respect for them by default, I still don’t know how they do it ooo. Oyinlola and Ms TLG on the other hand are 2 calm insightful and wonderful writers, blessed with the ability to give voice to their alphabets. They write similar to the funny, and ever bubbly Vira of life and the remarkably warm and accepting Funmi Reese, as whenever I visit Vira and Funmi’s blogs also, I don’t read words, I hear voices. Now that’s a gift. My I will never forget Ritah, my Tweenie and awesome Ugandan partner in crime. Hehehe Her blog has a way of (AIRTEL 1000-1461-1454-9055) triggering hormones in your mind and brain, that will make you think deeper about the norms and dogmas of life, and if you pay attention to her writing well well, you will realize that apparently we leave daily bound in chains, chains not made of irons, but of believes initiated by our fellow humans, which are more often than not wrong and should be questioned.
Omo I don travel for this blogging ooo, and my journey has brought me to the feet of Atiya, Atinuke and my Pastor partner in crime Peace Itimi whose writings are so sincere that you could more or less connect to it the way a pen drive connects to a Laptop.
Peace and I are doing this really big project ooo, so watch out! :p… There is this peace I derive
form reading their blogs ehn, you know how it feels when you sit by the ocean
and hold hands with your significant other **Deep sigh.. (How I miss Wajilda), how you don’t want time to pass,
and just hope to be there forever? Well yeah, that’s the kind of peace that
comes with their writing. Oh! I will never forget Ms BNG for ever hilllarious comments that has us laughing sooo hard all the time, or Muriel for being such a darling, and for promising me that when I do come to Abuja yeah, I won't have to sleep under the bridge.. **Shines Teeth
One thing I admire the most about Blogging is the versatility that comes with each different individual I have met, how some of us are Reality Bloggers (
Today is not just my day oo,,
just got a really crazy mail mcheeww it is well), others Fashion Bloggers,
and some skilled enough are Fiction Bloggers, and in Fiction blogging, no body inspires
me more than Adaeze and Oyinlola. Adaeze is my Otunne who is so tact in her writing, and is able to
play 3D movies in the readers brain through her words. Did I tell you that there
is a Gym blog! Well yeah, there is Gbemi and she inspires me to
get that Modelling body that Wajilda always asked for.. My I miss my baby, life
without Wajilda Is pale. :(
At this moment, I have to say that I have utter respect
for people that Blog daily, I mean when I go to Esther koko, Ms cookie, Erniesha,
and Your Truly’s blog, I only wonder how they do it? I mean these ladies are
wonderful by default, and it is written all over them. But top of the list of
the people I will not forget is Eden Sussanne, who inspires me to inspire, and I
am humbled simply by knowing her. Her mails always give me purpose, and I wonder
how in heavens name she is able to understand my confusion… GOD bless you
Will I ever forget Raliat for all her advice and support, or Dami Rouge, or Mazino, or Sweet Dee or Gbemi Oladele, or Evey-koko the geh with the most bedroom voice ever.. Choi that ladies voice is Angelic, or Wendy or Cassie Davies or all those that commented under Anonymous.. Will i? No, when this blog is over, I will never forget, Never.
Special Shout out to my Family, Dr Duru, Ashraff Mamman and Duru Mimi who come visiting but never comment **Folds hand. Shout out to my FB fam: Engr Akagha, Engr. Igbe, Engr. Obiora, Kome, Faith Kadoski, and all who take time out to read this blog, you guys Rock, you are why we write.
Permit me to say to this to Raleeyat the lady above: Bubba, you mean more than a reader to me, but I can say boldly that I have found a friend in you. I mean your words, your concern, your love, your time, your sacrifice, and your excitement make me all In Wajildas voice Teary and shi... I wish i could pay you back yeah, but all I can do is pray for you, that your love stands the test of time, and survives the pressures of the society.
To Wajilda, Baby they say PDA’ing is wrong, they say when you leave me that I would be too ashamed cause then you would be all out there, hence the pain would be more.. Well baby they are right, but do I care? No!! You mean the world to me, and heaven knows that I miss you, and that I love you with every muscle in my body. The past 39 hours 33 minutes have been horrible without you
yep I counted, but I
find it to difficult to swallow my words.. So here and now, I am leaving on the
wings of Que Sera Sera… xx (Globacom 11480-10234-19215). I miss you Baby.
Thank you for the past 7 minutes of your time fam **Shines teeth, you guys do me a great honor with your time. My Prayer for you is that you will never get a flat tire on a day that rain will fall… and may every body planning to dance shoki due to your misfortune get muscle pull of the hand, leg and eyes all at once. Cheers Fam. If you read this post from start to finish, then you are the real MVP. kindly accept the little Top Ups above, they are little yeah, but its all I have.
P.S: I apologize for posting late, we left home late, had a flat tire, and some guys from the F.G have been on my neck for one report all weekend.. smh.. My life can be frustratingly fun sometimes.:( :)
Please if i didnt say your name, No vex, GOD bless...
At the end of everything, everything will be alright, so of everything is not alright now, then you are not at the end. PLEASE DO NOT GIVE UP ON YOUR DREAMS.