Monday, 29 December 2014

Hour glass...

 Good morning great young minds what’s cracking??? mehn I am feeling like the realest gee as I type this.. Mehn its a Monday morning and here I am chilling at Enugu, sipping on real milk and listening to Collabo by P-square at 1:28 AM, no pressure at all. I mean how awesome could a holiday be?! Okay some winchie winchie folks haf started to threaten to deduct my tiny salary on a daily basis at work, but the thing is when you arrange your runs well before you run away, it always ends up ghen ghen. Mehn life in Enugu has been really awesome, I mean its mega peaceful here ehn, that sometimes it feels like we have no neighbours... I mean everyone is just chilling on a low key, and there is constant power here. Unlike in Festac where they are doing "tana tana" for us, here ehn, there is light 24/7.. I mean they haven’t withdrawn power in 4 days straight..I mean it is places like this that make you say god bless GEJ, I might even vote for him sef cause of the good work here :). Lmao. Sadly there are no girls here. I mean all the kids here seem to be 18 and below, and you see me ehn, I am not ready to go in for Child abuse ** Winks at Engr. Diva crazy geh Cliverly  :p and Moby. Luckily for me yeah Clara, **no hits head.. "Nonso add Aunty, add Aunty.." lmao So Aunty Clara has promised to get me an in-law position if I behave myself, so I will be on my best behaviour henceforth. Yesterday was the Last Sunday of the year, so I turned up at mass oh looking all gangster and shi... wearing my Converse kicks and Versace shades.. mehn I was looking so frosh that I could pass for a 9 figure holder where as shingbain no dey my account :p, sadly when I entered the mass, all my morale died. Cause nna ehn, it was igbo all the way. Once I heard "Na aha nna, na nwa na muonso.. "I said to myself ew!!! cause i knew I was screwed. Mehn the whole mass was in Igbo.. I almost cried... I spent a better time of the first 20 minutes admiring one geh that was forming Igbo Ms World beside me.. She was fine sha, but I think the foundation abi na Mary kay she applied was too much.. so i was admiring other things than about her other than her face. :)
So this year has been awesome for me, as I never knew what to expect as at January 2013, so I kinda went into 2014 blind, I guess we all did sha, but I kinda set a hour glass in my mind at December 2013, and slowly watched it vividly all year, looking at my life pass grain by grain, watching me age, watching me struggle to fall in love, to maker money, to keep people in my life, to blog, to meet new people and to inspire, and permit me to say that this year has been really up and down, you know like a sea saw. I lost the girl I have loved the most (whom my love for her was far from based on sex), 2 of my best friends walked away from me point blanc, and a host of others left me, but you reading this you, had my back all the while, and that I wont forget in a hurry, thats why I am still here. My Dad and you guys are my why.. Wait oh that reminds me, Chisos I haf suffered.. You know I have been working all year to the extent that I forgot how it felt to stay with my Dad 24/7.. heheh my Dad can send message for Africa.. he will be like Junior sweep this rug, and then get me the key of the car, then on your way get me a sachet of water, and then close the windows upstairs, from there take money and buy me airtime, and on your way go and attend to the goat.. lmao. Somedays yeah. I will be like aha! Haba! You want me to die. Hehehe lemme just say that I was thin when I left Lag, but I have lost more weight due to all the running up and down. **sips Real milk. Don’t you just love Naija parents.. **In Phynos voice, they are the real Alobam!!! Oya sorry for digressing. So exactly a year ago today, my Mama Ms Janyl Benyl awarded me with the most inspiring Readers award on her Blog on this post, and that was the beginning of it all, I mean that lit the match that set the bush on fire, and I love Ms Janyl Benyl badly cause of that. I know I don’t haf muscle oh, but any body that wants to touch Janyl will have to go through me first. **wears straight face..
My time in Enugu has involved me thinking a lot and then I thought to do just what Mama did for me to another. The thing is I had never won anything all my life, and wining that award last year meant a lot to me, so here goes, a year later I am issuing my thank you to 4 ghen ghen people. So leggoo...

Middle script: SPECIAL THANK YOU TO MY COUSIN DURU MIMI. She has had my back from the beginning, and is my biggest fan, I love you much little cuz. Xx You are the real MVP.

Now I met this very fine geh at the peak of my relationship this year, and her sincerity was amazing, plus she knew everything about me, as she had been a silent reader all the while. To say I was humbled to have been connected to a total stranger in such a strong way amazed me. I mean I had never met her, but there she was reading me with so much enthusiasm like a book. We got chatting on twitter, and I have loved her more and more daily since then. She re-tweets practically all my blog tweets, and calls me after delicate posts to check how I am fairing, and confirm that I haven’t hung myself on one fan claiming to be one "Romeo". Plus she called me tire during my hurting period. From where I stand yeah, all I see radiating from Raleeyats heart for me is sincere love and nothing less.... dasalll.. You are gold to us at YnC.. Don’t go no where ooo :) Dont leave us alone, cause in Koredes voice.. Its cold outside without you. Xx. All i ask of you is that you comment more in 2015, pretty please.

What more can I say Gang?! Every body loves Toin.. heheheheh I mean Toin is just "with all due respect" the craziest and coolest blogger I know.. She talks about everything, and I just love her to my bone.. She is the kind of chick that knows everything about me, cause we talk like we are dating. Lmao.. hehehe she is awesome. Toin has had my back for a better part of 2014, teaching me about the ways of life **Winks, teaching me how to be a grown up, and how to create an image. She inspires me on all levels and that is just cool. Lemme just say that I am a total nut case and the kind of wahala I give Toin ehn, I am sure no one else can accept it. Sometimes I tell her stuff and she practically insults me all the way, but at the end makes sure she teaches me of the pros and cons of my plans, and one thing I respect the most about her is that she never judges me, but takes me as i am .. So my IOU note for 2014 goes to the amazing Toin Alsina... heheheheh if you dunno who Toin is ehn, I suggest you check, **cause in Bovis voice, you can’t tell, knowing Toin might be a pre-requisite to get into heaven: All i ask of you Toin is Bubba please I know you haf teyed in the game and me and you know how mega busy you are, but please blog more in 2015. **In Runtowns voice... Baby answer bio bio :)
Peace Itimi:
Now one thing about me is that I am a sulker for fine gehs, but one thing about me is that regardless of my shenanigans and idiosyncrasies, I am also a sulker for people who inspire others and who are goal getters, and that exactly is who Itimi is. She is a 19 year old child who is filled with so much wisdom and inspiration that it could fill an ocean of people and some more. I mean she is everything. A daughter, goal getter, big dreamer, writer and GOD lover.. If I tell you how much I am crushing on this child ehn, you would bitch slap me back to reality :).. she is just awesome and writes at She is also a google ambassador, and each time I go to her Blog, I can so relate to her writing that I feel like a U.S.B device connecting to a laptop port. She is awesome aswear, and she wins the YnC most inspirational blogger of 2014. All I ask of you Itimi is that you blog stalk a little more, and sell and put your self out there a little more in 2015 cause **In Banky W’s voice I fit die on top your matter eh.. Itimi oh !


Now Fam I want yall to please remember this name: Ms. Modupe Abolade. Now Mo. Is 17, and she was inspired to bog by the beautiful and sexy Moby. Now in my head I know my time here will soon be over, but in my head Mo is the future. Toin taught me that there are like 4 generations of bloggers: Janyl and Linda Ikeji (Generation 1), Toin and T-Notes and Sykik (Generation 2), and us Generation 3, but in my confused eyes, Mo is like the next best thing to come out of blogsville, and my! to say that I see ghen ghen in her is an understatement. When I read through her posts yeah, I always giggle at intervals, she is just awesome like that aswearooo. So she wins the YnC Next best thing award for 2014 All i ask of you Mo is that you blog a little more in 2015, cause **in T.Y Bello’s voice You are the future, you are the one.....

So thats it fam, the 4 people that inspired me the most in 2014, along side these awards, they each get N 1,000 top up from us. I wish we could do more yeah, but Exxon Mobil has not accepted my C.V yet, so we are cutting our Ankara according to our lekpa bory for now :P. A special thank you to everyone that made 2014 awesome like that, all of you that read, that commented, that plus oned, that retweeted and that adviced us on the way forward, you guys rock and you are the real MVP’s, it is you who made it a good run. To all the beautiful and awesome silent readers, thank you loads fam. All I can say is may the blessings of GOD usher you into 2015, and may his blessing envelope you and yours in his love... Turn up Turn up ladies and gentlemen, its 2 days to go and its good night 2014, Good morning 2015. Cheers Fam, and do stay safe. GOD willing we shall ALL pull through 2014.
P.S: So many people think 2014 wasn’t their year, but count your blessings and see what GOD has done for you. Think about it, that we survived Ebola is a million reasons in 1 to be grateful, so cheer up, and chin up gang.
P.P.S: Thank you Erniesha, for everything.
P.P.P.S: At Clara, Ausserehl, Sykik and Ice love you all scarra.. To every one, my love for you guys has no boundaries aswear. Doro Thank you to Morayo for the call. Bubba, you are an angel aswear, Thank you for making me feel uber special. Cheers fam.
Thank you for the past 364 minutes of your time all 52 weeks of 2014, you guys do this 23 years 1 month 17 days old child a great honor with it, and my prayer for you this last week is that may MTN not use you and do shakara with their network on new years day, those guys can be annoying aswear.. **Wears straight face.

...and this is my most precious award ever. :)

#Udo #ItcanonlybeGOD

Wednesday, 24 December 2014


Turn up turn up ladies and gentlemen, mehn i cannot believe that christmas e haf reach already oooo... Mehn we give GOD all the glory for the year as a whole.Mehn this year has been turnt up for me, and has been very ghen-ghencious for me, and a huge reason for that has been you guys. I mean all of you have constantly given me a reason to live and when I say I am building friendships which will most definitely last a long time with many of yall, I mean it to my bone. You see I am a loyalist by default, and I love like a moron, so lets just say I have caught mega feelings for many of yall... Mehn life in Biafra land has been difficult oh, inshort I haf suffered. You know when I was in lagos yeah, I was half onyibo and half suffer head. But now ehn, now I am full suffer head to the core ooo, and the onyibo part of me is dead and gone. (AIRTEL 0428- 3185- 1234- 8620) First off, the cold here is kerosinely crazy that i haf to lick my lips per second if not i will resemble iya matanga with white lips. I am afraid that the saliva in my body will soon dry because of over licking... And then the mosquito hia ehn, chisos, they are vampirous, as na straw them dey use suck blood. As in the mosquitoes here know how to dodge insecticide sef, as them bad like fact I never hexsperred it ooo, but this place e tough.

Now in the spirit of the season, I really wanted to do this post cause in the past 3 days i have seen love that superceeds love. Permit me to ask this kind question;  How many of us quarrel with our parents?  I mean shout kinda quarrel ooo? Before i go on. My people these Enugu people are wicked, do you believe that chicken is N1, 500 here? What is N 800 in Lagos. These people dont fear god at all at alll oooo. They will be calling you Nwanna nwanna and be collecting your kobo kobo... Awon oloshi.. :p. So I quarrel with my Dad a lot, I murmur and grumble a lot like yesterday when he asked me to sweep the village home, i grumbled all the way ehhhh.. Mehn if you see Dust in that house ehn, the dust reach to sand fill river niger, but one thing i have noticed about my Dad is that his love for me regardless of my shenanigans and indiosyncracies is unshaken. Now in the past 2 years I have been going through this really painful phase of life, some days it seems like all hope is lost for me, some days(MTN 3403- 6527- 4090) like last Monday i had an inclination that my life was more or less over, that I had to close this Blog, shut down my social media accounts and just begin to live like nobody, a loner, an abandoned one. You see sometimes the pressures of life get to me and it seems like there is no one to turn to, and then my father comes and holds my hands through it all, Barr. Duru is not just my father and my guardian, but my all. 

All my life this man has given me hope when I saw all hope as lost, he has held my hand through every storm, he has taught me how to fight, how to drink alcohol, how to pray to GOD, how not to miss mass, how to toast ladies, and how to be the head of the home, and I must say that so many times in my life i have dissappointed him and pushed him to the wall.  I know nights that i have been so stubborn that this man stayed awake all night thinking about me, worrying and hoping that I wont become a wayward, a miscriant or a disgrace to the family, and in all the while that he loved me so much, I have been more of an ingrate than grateful. But sitting down watching the doors that would decide my fate last monday made me think, cause as i struggled hard to hold back tears, as I fought hard to fight the confusions in my head,(GLOBACOM 14584-63061-95657) I took a galance at my dads hands and saw them tremble, I looked at his eyes and saw him fight back tears, and it struck me, that no matter how old I grew, I would always be his little boy, I would always be the Junior he held in his hands on the 12th of November 1991 who sulked and cried endlessly, cause his love for me is that of a father to a son.

You see the activities of the passing days has made me realise that life revolves around love as it is love that holds, that binds, that sustains, that gives hope, and it is due to this love that GOD thought us worthy (ETISALAT 15148-44278-01902) to share with us all he had and cherished, that it is due to this love that GOD sent us his only begotten son to die for us, and it is for this reason that we celebrate Christmas a day of hope and chicken ;p and love. It is for this reason that we have hope. So in all sincerity I dunno what a whole lot of us might be going through yeah, but I want you to know that hope dies last, and I am learning tha it is through self love and love for another that hope radiates.
Merry Christsmas ladies and gentlemen, may this season give you series of reasons to celebrate, to smile, and to love, cause in all sincerity yeah, LOVE IS THE GREATEST. I love you all to my marrows. (AIRTEL 0075-4865-1789-4426). Thank you for the past 7 minutes of your time Gang, you do us a great honor with them.

P.S: I wish I could do more fam, but this little top up is all i can afford, please accept my meager gifts. However I use access bank to beg you ooo, take only 1 and leave the rest for another. :) Cheers fam.


#Udo #ItcanonlybeGOD

Monday, 22 December 2014

ECHI DI IME (Tommorrow is pregnant)

...the pain is temporary
Turn up turn up ladies and gentle men, elenkemeghani (Means whats the 411)? Ehmm.. **scratches head, what is good morning in Igbo again oooo.. ** Gimme a sec... So... while Google translates loads cause of my poor internet service at this hotel, I will like to stick to my English jejely.. So how are you guys doing? Hope you guys had madt fun oh during the weekend? Hope you turned up? Permit me to state at this point that my weekend was just annoying, you wont believe i missed the TFA End of the year party... I mean me!!! Miss party. Chai, fuck my life! . Mcheeww.. you know yeah, growing up we never had enough cash in our house, so atimes i would see my Dad and mum snap at us kids for the flimsiest of reasons, and these usually happened after they made one ghen ghen purchase or repair or something that involved them spending sha.. Ehen i remember, most times it was usually after I broke the TV screen, or I broke the center table, or I broke a glass plate in the kitchen, i was a breaky breaky child ooo Dont test me, i could even break a mirror just by looking at it then.. Mama and Papa would get so upset ehn, if to say you gave them gun, they could shoot us. Now I didn’t understand that, I mean the reason why they got so upset, until I started making my own change. You see they were mad cause Money is hard to come by, and easy to let go of, and lemme just at this point say that god will judge and punish the person that thought about POS (Point of sale) Transactions. I mean that thing is devilish, man go just give them card, bam bam, money e haf go... So last week i stupidly spent about 17k uselessly. First I did Father Christmas and took 1 geh and her friends out, well that was to proof a point though, but it was still stupid, cause I was like in my Igbo voice: "Bebe take this ATM card, this is the password *****, Spend the money"" . Bia my people when i got home and started getting alerts ehn, i almost ran mad. Heheheheheh It wasnt that bad Jari, i am just kidding, but nna ehn, it was painful ooo :(. secondly i went to Mr. Price and bought beach wear for the TFA parry.. I mean short Knicker sold for 3k. I mean I never exssperred to be that stupid and I still missed the party on top, so the short knocker is in my wardrobe, and the beach shirt i haf converted to christmas cloth. CC: Toinlicious. :), but oh well, I guess there comes a time in a mans life when he is stupid by default.
So I am presently at Owerri, Imo state, and I have had this thought in my head for a while. Echi di ime... Now my Igbo is horrible, and it sounds like mixture of German and Yoruba and a bit of Italian join, :) but since the great Traveller and my Mentor in Circumnavigating the world; Clara tasked me to get better at Igbo during the Yuletide season, I will most definitely try. Many atimes life is somehow for us, you know our present seems so not up to par as people seem to put us down with their words and pride, we feel like our world is static and that of others is spinning at full proportion, like we have it worse than any other human alive, but the sincerity of it is that we don’t, we just believe that we do, and our mind tricks us into more of complaining than enjoying every moment. We subconsciously wrap our selves and thoughts in un-satisfaction, and stay depressed and sad. Now to anybody currently in that state of life, all I can say is Tomorrow is pregnant, so do not quit.
When I was in Uni, I used to be mocked about how I overly wrote during examinations, tests and lectures, and my coursemates would jest about how Engr. Duru would write ""and the lecturer sneezed"" on my note book, if the lecturer sneezed during class. Well was I that serious a student, well Yeah I was searching for good grades. A lecturer once said openly that I would write so much and still get an average grade at the end, and my it got to me atimes due to the huge insecurities i once held in me. But the thing is I never knew that being that writy writy as I was seen as then would lead to this Job that I live by, I never knew that this writy writy would lead me to the feet of great Bloggers and and ghen ghen readers like yall, I never knew that being a writy writy would lead me to lead and direct ghen ghen projects like we do at YnC now. So my point; is life in my head is a clear confusion, but as long as we don’t quit, don’t give up and don’t stop keeping on, then that thing that looks like a flaw in our lives could one day become a gold, that abandoned stone could become the head corner stone, that thing that the society mocks us about will one day become our strongest points..
Truth is i dunno what we are all going through, or what life is seeming like for us at the moment, but what i know is that in due time YnC Gang, in due time everything will fall in place. Kindly permit me to end by quoting one of my most favorite lines of all time,
""at the end of everything yeah, everything will be alright, so if everything is not alright now, then we are not at the end, so don’t give up on you, GOD, nor on your dreams.""
I am currently going through this challenge in my life gang, and I can’t wait to tell you guys about it, hopefully soon when its all over, I will be able to, but for now I am holding on to my own words, believing that at the end of it all, everything will be alright Fam.
Thank you for the past 7 minutes of your time great young minds, you do me a great honor with your love and support, and my prayer for you this Christmas week is that any chicken that you and go and buy in the market will have egg inside of it, cause that would be a sign of an upcoming testimony.. Yep! Call me Nostradamus for a week. :) Ehen my Google finally translated; Good morning in Igbo is Ututu Oma. :)
P.S: So i traveled to Owerri yesterday, and I suffered, I mean is it just me or traveling by road is wahala.. As we speak nah ehn Fam, my shoulder blade aches like I fell from an helicopter, but oh well it is what it is I guess. On the bus yesterday, i saw this young child that should be about 4 years, and the way he and his siblings were clothed showed they didn’t really come from a family of means. However, I noticed that this was a fine child filled with passion for music, as he bumped each time some one put a street by 50 or a beat by Dre ear piece on his ear. It sadly broke my heart that the gold carried by this child was covered by some sort of mud, as regardless of his huge passion, he had a seemingly low self esteem, and that worried me, cause I know what it feels to be where he is. So Ayo thompson CEO of is doing something for kids this X-mas season. With N1,500 you would be paying for a child to go see Santa. I know its hard to give fam, e dey pain pass injection, but why are we living if we aint creating smiles on the faces of others? So if you can, I implore you, No!! I beg you to do something nice for a child this Christmas, and let those who have little or nothing know that someone out there loves them.
Shout out to Leeshar... Now Leeshar is a YnC Reader and my X-hostel mate at IMSU, so on getting to Owerri last night, all these winchie winchie hotel people said I would pay 5K for a night and check out at Noon the next day. And i am like Tufiakwa, i would rather sleep at the park, and come pay 5k for a full day today. But then Leeshar called me and gave this young and confused brother roof over his head. I love you Bubba, and i want you to know that your acts of kindness last night has a room in my heart for life. Cheers Fam.
Do have a ghen ghen week ahead. To all them blogger fam out there, i am so gunning you down one by one for my Christmas giveaway oooo.. So beware, you will be in for a scare in your comment section if i don’t see any X-mas give away. **Long throat mode activated. **shines teeth
P.P.S: We at YnC might have a mini something for you guys come 24th, so if you can fam, please come around.
Instagram/Twiiter: youngandconfused_byjdb/ young&confused_byjdb
#Udo #ItcanonlybeGOD

Monday, 15 December 2014

#MyBachelorsDiary_THE WOLVERINE


Turn up Turn up ladies and gentlemen, what’s up fam? What’s cracking? What’s the freaking 411.. With all the joy in my heart I say Good morning great young minds.. so I am uber excited this morning… Regardless that  I am really tired oh, but I kinda have been looking forward to today, cause I needed to get this off of my chest. You see I am a kinda nigga that hardly finishes stuff. Not like cause I am lazy oh, but cause I just get easily demotivated, and my! I am super excited that I concluded the 14 for 14 challenge yesterday, and now i am giving the last of the 2014 #MyBachelorsDiary series. heheheh Right about now yeah, I have that I can achieve anything feeling **Wears Mr Nigeria smile. Before I go further, if you see the suffer that I suffered last Saturday ehn!! Chisos!! Aswear I never exsperrred it! You see ehn, I am an Alaroro by nature, as papa taught me to always utilize every penny like that, so since my Papa traveled, I had to manage the small Family business. You see I went to Agbara last Saturday, and you wont believe I ended up trekking from Agbara Bustop to Mango bus stop **looks at suede shoes in pity. In English that means I trekked approximately 7 miles.. I mean I know I am a Johnny walker and a descendant of Moses by nature, but that one was just stupid.. I was trying to save some cash for the project, but upon arriving at the ghen ghen place where we hustle, I asked our contact there and he said "Junior why did you suffer yourself, keke na only 50 naira nah!"" Hehehehe Fuck my life, I felt like a total moron.. I trekked isrealite journey for just 50 Naira! Chisos! Also, since I was in high spirits that last Saturday, I went to a car Dealer at that area to get the asking price for my Honda baby boy :).. Nna ehn my people, as they told me the price ehn, I practically ran out, more like Teleported out, like voom! Seee that igbo man wants to collect half of, No! I meant half plus quarter of my 18 months 25 days savings, I reject him oh! in fact i jump him pass. I shall not be yahhood into wasting all my savings on a Honda. **Sad face.

So you guys know that you mean the world to me nah? You know that it was y'all that made 2014 so damn running outside the office, tearing my clothes and shouting at the top of my voice kinda fabulous,  so its me and you all the way till this blog is over. Both when i haf money oh, or when they break my haert oh, we are togerra on this. So I lost something very close to my heart, and she meant the world to me. Engr. Diva Cliverly, I know you said I shouldn't talk about Woman, but you see Human being ehn, na wetin person say no do, that’s what we do. if you think I am lying, ask Eve of Eden. So I lost my heartbeat a month ago, don’t care a month and how many days, but it’s a month sha, and I also got heartbroken on Blogsville, as someone who meant partially the online world to me left me too, but oh well it is what it is. Shit got real i guess.


So i am a mega Wolverine fan, and Hugh Jackman keeps murdering every season, but what catches my mind the most about the Wolverine character is his ability to heal easily, and hence this post. I am currently going through the process  of healing of the 2 above break ups (and a third one i sense coming), and my I wanna say thank you to everyone for your support, Adaeze my automatic Otunne  called me last Thursday while i was having Dr Duru's money spending inspired dinner.. That geh can ask for something amazing shaaa... I cant wait to start asking back. Shey she will soon start making BIG money nah :). Ehen, back to the gist, Chisos, if you hear Adaeze's bedroom voice ehn, it can make you commit fornication with your phone.. :) I also spoke to Eden Sussanne yesterday, and I am mega excited that my Fav Bubba is back in the block.. She called me immediately she read that my tintinli heart is under the process of being super glued. hehehehe Love you much Eden.

So in this post, amma gonna give them brothers out there some tips on how to handle heart breaks, but I must say that it is solely my opinion oh, and if you feel other wise, please don’t kih me, but state it kindly if you can, as this are things I haf practiced from age 15 till now .

SEX and Alcohol: You see ehn, something about loosing some one that you really love is that it kinda takes away a part of you, like you feel empty, you feel lost, you feel alone, and you feel mega confused. You see initially sex is the only thing that we will think about, cause the pain will be so immense that you just wanna relieve ya self. So my advice is if you wanna have sex, then do it, but don’t, and I repeat DON’T do it with a friend or someone you see frequently cause that one will just be stupid, and you will be setting yourself up. Aslo regardless of what people suggest about Alcohol, that stuff helps. You see ehn when you haf your life built around someone like I did, its painful to see a future without her, so you see Alcohol makes you sleep better at night. It kinda takes the edge off, but just do be careful, be protected oh, and dont drink and drive.

STAY AS FAR AWAY AS POSSIBLE: You see ehn, when a lady says its over, she means it, and there is no Jupiter, and regardless of how much i like my Beautiful Moby or Adaeze, nothing can bring you guys back together, nor bring her back, and if she ever sends you the "You are a nice guy or you are a wonderful guy line" heheheheh Brother your own e haf finish, and thats the final padlock on the gate.. The next one you will hear is grow up! and thats just falling hand, so be a man and zoom off . Hehehehe So if she leaves you, take it as a man and brace up. Remember that you already drank and did action film as in 1 above, so nextly unfollow her on Instagram, facebook, Twitter Watsapp, and delete her from BBM. Why?! cause if you really did love this geh, then you will always get Mushied when you see her turning up with another guy. I know its hard brother mi, but it is what it is, so do it and move on with your freaking life already.

Turn DOWN FOR WHAT? biko TURN UP!: Now this is a very important step, I know most of us are Introverts like me ;p, you know we are quiet, we never shout on the phone, we hardly talk to strangers, nevr club and all, we hardly pursue women, hehehe I prayyy oooo.. You see the best way, and more like the fastest way to heal is to turn up. Hang out with friends, hook up, club, go to the beach, just do something worthwhile, cause  this helps you. Like this you will heal faster than wolverine does. Just do stuff that makes you happy.

Pamper ya self: Now this is a very important line in healing. Me ehn, any time i am hurting like kerosinely crazy, I usually go to a store and buy myself something I have had on my journal for months, like a street by 50 headset, or a PS4 or a Tablet or a Plasma, or a shoe anything that makes you feel better. It doesn’t have to be expensive, but at least it has to be worth it and worthy of making me smile.. 

DON’T REBOUND: Now I have to say that any relationship you get into immediately after your split up will most likely be a rebound made strictly to have sex, heal and dump, so don’t do it, don’t hurt another girl because you are trying to heal. I MEAN THINK ABOUT IT: SOMEDAY WE WILL BE OLD, AND ALL OUR PLAYER PLAYER ABILITY WILL BE GONE. Waht if your kids take you to a Hospital after a heart attack, and then bam, you open your eyes and you see one of the many gehs you used to catch grrove, looking at you with winchi winchie eyes on your dying bed and what if she is the lead Dr. there, do you think you will come out of that hospital alive, they will just give you Rest in peace injection, and your own e haf finish.

PRAY TO GOD AND BE WITH YOUR FAMILY:  Now this is the most important step, as the truth is no matter how gangster we all try to be, the truth is WE ALL NEED GOD. So if that shawdie that you lof so much leaves you, mehn brother go to Church and pray. If you feel like crying, cry, but just ask GOD for help cause in all sincerity we cannot do it without him. Also make sure you stick to your family, they are all we actually have, tell them the truth, let them help you, spend time with them, cause in all sincerity yeah, they are GOD representatives on planet Earth.

So that’s about it, I mean I have been pursuing woman since I was 15, and have had a fair share of No’s, but what I know is that, we always cross paths some where in the future, only thing is when they do return make sure you are better than they left you, cause they will have to admire your success and the life you have created in their absence, so don’t change who you are because of another woman, stay true to you and your dreams, cause on the long run, you matter, and for every brother there is a baby okwu out there, a sleeping beauty waiting for you to wake her up with your kiss. Shey be i am very romantic ba? **Wears Mr Nigeria smile.

Thank you for the past 7 minutes of your time Great Young minds, you do us a great honor with your time and kind comments. My prayer for you this week is that everywhere they have gathered against you saying they will not send you money for Christmas turn up, may the Harmattan of Heaven blow and turn all the gathered people into ice block, Can i hear an Amen. 

P.S; Okay so this is the last of the #myBachelorsDiary series for 2014, and I say thank you to you guys for making it worthwhile, you are why we write, and there is no Me without you. In fact in **Wizkids voice, I fit die on top una matter eh! #TeamYnC ooo, una too much GOD bless your mothers eh... People ooo. :)

Blogger Stats:

Clara: Now I met Clara barely a month ago, but mehn she is amazing! Aswear.. Each time I go over to her blog ehn, I always feel like I am flying in the clouds, and she is just superfun, plus that babe of life can travel for Africa ehnnnn.. She has been to almost every continent.. yep she bad like that oh, and she is mega funnay.

Ausserehl: Now nothing and I mean nothing on Blogsville is as catchy as Ausserehl's blog name. It has that ghen ghen feel to it.. hehehe "...when an Ibibio geh decides to blog". Hehehe I love the fact that she is true to her roots, regardless that she is in Obodo Onyibo. Mehn going over there is just amazing, and she knows German so that makes her even more fun.. hehehe Trust me, going over there is gonna be fulfilling.

Alphasoar… So whoever said guys don’t blog must have been sleeping under a Rock, Cause we have the very ghen ghen T notes, the amazing Ice, and now the wonderful Chukwuma.. I mean going to these brovers blogs gives  me that Ma nigga Ma Nigga feeling heheheh. Chukwuma is a mega smart young man, that has this blog that is ghen ghen like that. Plus if you are the arguing kind, and then do well to zippy over there ASAP, cause he always has thought triggering topics.

After Script :) : I have a feeling someone very close to my online heart is mad at me, and heaven knows that I am sorry in advance. So bubba, I dunno what I did, but what I know is I am sorry. People have broken my heart in a PhD kinda way all 2014, and if you join, that would really hurt me cause you mean plenty to me. In English, I am soooooorrrryyyy. 

Cheers Fam, and do have a ghen ghen week.

Oya nor vex, this is the last one. So... this is my last week in Lagos for 2014, as I will be out after the TFA end of year party come Saturday. So I will be on the first Young shall grow Airline flight out. So if you are in Enugu or its environs, kindly holla at your boy :) lets turn up. 

You guys are the bestest best, and I am sorry for the long post biko, ma binu, e jo, mon be yin..

Instagram/Twitter (Like my mama does): Youngandconfused_byjdb/young&confused_byjdb

#Udo #itcanonlybeGOD

Sunday, 14 December 2014

14-FOR-14 Challenge (Growing Up_ December 2014) Concluding post (Signing out...) **Sad face.

...And just like in the days at MOJ IMSU, its a wrap fam :)

                                                                    The Young and Confused Blog.
                                                                    No. Kini kan kini Kan Blogs ville,
                                                                    Festac Town,
                                                                    14th December 2014
Ref: YnC/JBS/14for14/JdB'sWahala/Ossshhheey.
Attn: Ms. Janyl Benyl, My mama, Blog Best friend, and Blog counsellor. :*
Dear Mama,
Submission of final post for the 14-for-14 challenge.
Making reference to your letter abi na blog post of December 29th 2013, remember nah Janyl? the one that changed  our lives for good, and made us know all this wonderful people. The post where you advertised the subject mentioned above. Also making reference to another post abi na letter of January 8th 2014 where we started this 365 days long positive Isrealite journey :), i write to kindly inform you that me I haf finish my own oooo Ms J.B. Please do be so kind as to see all my submissions below, and their coressponding dates;
14. Concluding post (Signing out...) **Sad face.
All in all Mama, i just want to say thank you, as it has been a good run. In this challenge i wrote with the most awesomely smart, beautiful, intelligent and witty writers there are, and my! if compared to them on a yardstick, i would be but the least. I dunno if there will be any first position or last position, any victor, or vanquish, but what I know is that I am grateful Ms JB. Thank you. You might not know this yeah, but this challenge helped me to write, gave my life more meaning, helped me meet my 4 blog pillars as on the top left of the blog, and helped me to meet well over 50 awesome human beings, with whom i am creating friendships beyond this online community. May God bless you Mama for this wonderful initiative.
In the light of the above and as per protocol, i kindly tender this letter post as my 14th submission for the challenge, and in the words of my Ex MOJ Directors just after movie shoots, "its a wrap ladies and Gentlemen.." Heheheheh You know i use to write letters at the office, and one Onyibo man used to scrutinize my letters lime madt, sometimes it takes me 2 hours sef, so kindly permit me to insert my most favorite threat line to the clients, I practically crammed it..
Kindly note tha as per FIDIC, any cost incurred due to our mobilization and demobilization due to wayleave related issues shall be on the clients budget, and EPC reserves the right to claim in the nearest future. Hehehehehehh Thank you so much everyone..
Do be assured of our highest consideration (this is said after threatening client oh!)
Yours Faithfully,
Duru John de Beloved,
FOR the Young and Confused Blog.
P.S: Oya the official e haf do... MAMA i know you haf money, plentyhyyy money for that matter, so just in case i come 3rd or last, kindly buy  me an iphone 6. Or buy me a new girlfriend, or a Honda Baby boy, or a white pair of Versace kicks :)... Thank you so much mama.
P.P.S: To Oga Boss T-Notes and the ever beautiful Cee, the people who made me not to give up, the people inspired me all through 2014, and made me understand that being Young and Confused wasnt a bad thing after all :), the people who are the real MVP's and online veterans, I say Thank yoh so much fam, it was a great run... MAMA, an all expense paid dinner with Cee will not be a bad idea oooo... :)
Thank you so much to all the YnC readers out there, i mean you guys rock totally, and there is no us without you. You made me, and i love you all now, and forever. IOU guys big time.
Cheers, and dont do evil ghen ghen on Sunday ooo, JESUS is coming soon, and the Airconditioning in Hell fire and Purgatory e haf spoil finish, so Repent :)**winks.

#Udo #ItcanonlybeGOD

Monday, 8 December 2014

14-FOR-14 Challenge (Growing Up_ December 2014) Turn up! Turn Up!!! Fam, its the grand finale.. :) Oooossshhhheeeey!

Turn up turn up ladies and gentle men… as I type this post yeah, my every muscle and ligament hurts, my eye lids are doing touching body with each other and I am tired beyond definition.. But you see I am still mega excited as it’s the last post of the 14 FOR 14 challenge series.. I have patiently waited for today, because it feels too good to style my way and finish something… Before I over talk about me Fam, how are you guys? How was the weekend? Hope you guys turned up oh! Hope you went clubbing and caught one in **Mzz Sykiks voice Hayoungee.. heheheheheh I mean I still need to ask her what that means.. So this post is the #TeamYnC way of celebrating and signing out of the 14-For-14 chalenge, which was initiated on the 29th of December 2013 by the Amazing Janyl Benyl, and commenced officially on January 1st 2014. The contenders for the competion are Beautiful Cee, my crazy sef, Adroit T-Notes, and of cause my beautiful Blog mother Ms J.B. I really thank GOD we made it thus far. Truly it is not him that willeth oh, nor him that runneth eh, but GOD almighty that showeth mercy.. So leggoo.. There will be a mini giveaway at the end of this post… Wait oh! Do you guys know that some hotels in V.I charge as much as N 35,000 a night? Goddamnbullshit… mehn that’s kerosinely crazy biko?? After the night will they give me 7 virgins to go home with? Mcheeewww.. Plus my future girl friend Linda Ikeji bought a gown at an auction price of N 1,000,000 last night. Yep, you counted the zeros right. :)

So in honor of the 14- FOR -14 Challenge, I shall be doing an imitation of all the series of the contestants.. hehehe I shall aim to copy their slangs, calligraphy and styles of writing.. So wish me luck FAM. **Takes deep breaths… JdB you can do this yo!!

(Janyl Benyl my Mama of life) Style my way: The Woman wrapper in me.

Hey Lovelies

As most of you already know, I am a true definition of a woman wrapper. I actually used to be an active dancer :), funny how I've been saying this a lot lately. Now my life encompasses a lot of things, ranging from being a visionary, to being a motivator, to being a DANCER, then to being a clown, and then to the most important part of it, to being a woman wrapper. But in all, I appreciate the part of me that wants to drive for change, to correct the flaws in our society and to make things better than they already are. I actually miss those my days of dancing and standing on my toes though. But yea, yea life happens… 

Tell me you can't see it from these pics? Narcissistic much, huh? Nah LOL

 Last night was mega turned up for me, hence I asked one over zealous photographer friend and volunteer of mine to help take pictures of me, as I strode down the red carpet in my dapper looks. You see, yesterday was the Future Africa Awards 2014, and as a volunteer and big fan of Chude Jideonwo and Debola Ailliams, I was dia live to see all the fine fine ladies. :)  So this was what I wore to the event.. Yep… Theres the gentlemanly side of me I guess, I just thought I should bring this part of me that happens a lot too. I just do not always dress up in shoes, ties happens too old sport :).
looking gangster right?! :) Dressed by the Trio of Dr. Duru, Toin Alsina and Lhurve. 

Last night, on leaving Festac town yeah, I thought to myself about how I was going to take selfies with Tiwa, and Banky and all them ghen-ghen acts, but as I sat there watching the amazing Asa sing, it struck me that in all sincerity yeah, I shouldn't really worship these guys, cause all they are basically Human beings who were wise enough to chase their dreams, and stuck to it regardless. So if I wanted to be like what they have become, all I needed to do was earn up to my dreams just as they did.

At a time yeah, I was trying to see if I could still stand on my toes, but I changed my mind and just snapped with any Bubba I could catch, and my it was worth it. :) I actually thought my woman chasing skills had left me, but I realized that it was in built, and a woman wrapper i was called to be for life. :)… I didn't think I would be able to chase and woo ladies anymore after a long while of not practicing. You know yeah, I am actually enjoying the single life oh! My watsapp keeps buzzing, and theres less guilt and more turning up.... I actually plan to start going to the gym, cause I need to have the beach body for them ladies also.. :) Dont worry, it is far from insecurity.  

The show was amazing, and when I went to Ouch lekki to pick up Ice prince Zamani's suite, I saw Iyanya, and nodded at him. Funny thing though, the Nigga simply nodded back, and I was feeling all dapper and shi.. In the words of one geh I used to know, I was feeling like a pimping.. Osshhheeeyy. I know I should not be doing this but you see, when I get in my "element" and decide to do something yeah, I do it with all my heart. So nor vex biko.. LOL :) 

Have a nice week ahead,
Love Always

Twitter/Instagram: @young&confusedafrica_byjdb / youngandconfusedafrica_byjdb

(T-Notes baba) 14:14: Friendship and the awesome #wife material Toyon Alsina.

Now I am one known to live life based on no mans terms but my own, I most often like to see me as what they call in my local parlance; a "1 man mopol", you know the brave enough but yet still stupid brother who thinks he needs no body but himself! Well yep, I have towed that line for quite a while in my life… But you see the events of recent times has in a way streamlined by idiosyncrasies from that of just a financial annalyst in a foreign land trying to survive, that whose father told him that he should just keep keeping on solo and he will suceed.. and gradually to that of a young man beginning to understand that there is need for that tact decision to stick to a person no matter how we see them at the initial, and facing the reality that we all need somebody.

Last Friday at about 10 pm, my beloved sister who I constantly tease about how much of a chef she is, promising to buy her a porshe and an Oscar Delerante designer piece when the hustle in the white mans land pays, rushed into my room and said the words which every young and confused Nigga would dread to hear, she said Junior; "Internet is spent". I shivered at these words, as I immediately began to have a silent soliloquy in my head as to what the next step to take would be, as I had budgeted the most of my cash to taking this beautiful lady to the Future awards come Sunday, probably book a room at the exquisite Intercontinental hotels and suites, and hope that we get some midnight action...  I had wished that Dr. Duru had sauntered into my room to give me a better news, but naahhhh… So I flipped over to the other side of the bed, and began to do a little but intense financial analysis of liquid cash, more same as I usually did daily at the office, only this time I analysed my own personal account balance and not that of some fat bellied Russian gambling at a horse game. With an utterly sad disposition, I concluded with earnest sadness, that I was fucked as a black young and confused African living in a foreign land with no internet. hehehehehe

Luckily for me, as this was one of the times I choose to believe in luck I was just talking with the ever beautiful Toinlicious on twitter, as I sort to do what I have in recent times come to see as my husbandly or should I say "Aburoly" duties of disturbing Toin on weekends via the various social platforms… (kai its mega hard trying to emulate T-Notes, the brother can speak big big English sha). You know onething about Toin is that she is willing to go with me through my wonder years, and share my utmost confusion, never criticizing or looking down at me. More importantly last Friday was a day that I knew that I had found a new friend that I would hold to heart.

You see as the honey jar hereinafter called my Megbytes expired on our WiFi device, I put a call to ToyoN alsina telling her that I was out hence couldnt continue with our watsapp chat about the cougaring Vivica fox, and she said the heavenly words that went "I will send you top up, infact let me do it now". I immediately froze.. Having that I had stood on the BRT from V.I to Festac barely hours ago, i was mega tired and slowly drifting into lala land, but just as  time passes speedily when a 23 year old brother watches a lady twerk on the dance floor at a peek show, she sent the airtime so fast that I was close to tears.

You see what Toin has failed to realize is that that little action which seemed not too ghen ghen for her, meant the world to me, and my I was humbled that she sacrificed so much to put a smile on my sadness ridden face. Dr. Duru couldnt even believe the act of kindness, and was awing and awing all night. I was like woman go and sleep jo. hehehe. 

There and then I knew that I had found not just a friend in Toin, but it was confirmed that I had found an Egbon Obirin, and that amidst frustrating spreadsheets and financial reports which i had to deal with daily, not excluding my colleagues who were in a haste to get on the "MRS" train, I had found a reason to close my Fridays on a high note knowing I was going to disturb the amazing Toin one more time, I had found a wife material that only age limited me from appreciating, I had found an Egbon who is super smart, an amazing office-space buddy and who is also super nerdy. That is why we get along so easily like milk and water. ;)

All that said, my blog review for this month is the amazing and ever beautiful even in anonymosity Toin Alsina, whom you should zippy over to check out her page, particularly if you might be interested in the full details of how she stays happy and easily influences others to do same no matter how bleak you might feel within, plus if you need a fresh lovable lady, I recommend her all time every time. She is such a darling, and i love her much. Did I tell you Toin has a wonderful Bedroom voice that makes it seem like the angels in your head are chorusing the hallelujah? Well yep! She does.

*P.S: This is a post aimed at showing Toinlicious how much I appreciate her, cause she is one in a million, and my love for her is growing to know no bounds.” Love you much Toinlicious.

 The 14-for-14 challange by Janyl. (Click here to familiarize yourelf with the '14 for 14 challenge'). I recently accepted this challenge to go on a quest searching for brand new blogs...with the bull-headed conviction that all creativty is not lost within the nigeria-blogsphere. And also desperate to prove that, contrary to recently popular opinion, not all of the new blog pages are uninteresting (to put it mildly). This is my thirteenth post into that journey.

Whoop whoop! I cannot actually believe that we are here already; at the grand finale of the 14-for-14 challenge, and I would like to start by appreciating everyone for their support. I mean it feels like just yesterday that we commenced, and we are here already. Plus have you guys notice that its barely 17 days to Christmas *inserts dancing*
Not only that, the joy that my service year is gradually coming to an end is unexplainable, and  I am most grateful for it all, as the put down we face as corpers is hugely tiresome. In my little girly voice within, I say yippee cause I am almost there....

Today I taught my class about the values of giving and about how we always earn more when we give more, and as a devoted corper that i am sadly becoming just at the end of my stay, I got all kitted up in my NYSC regalia to do it.
Its so amazing working with children as they tend to show sincere cases of innocence and the eagerness to learn, but having that my class consists more of male teenagers, with their hormones bumping like the man that just saw a lion, I had to subconsciously tilt my teaching into a sermon.

You see I had noticed in the last valentine season that many of my kids had exchanged items of love, which I suspected to be more inclined towards seeking physical favor from the other sex, as against the sincere intent to give. So I wanted these kids to understand that we didn’t need to receive any sort of compensation in terms of kind or more kindness as an exchange for giving. :)

One of my overly excited kids went as far as explaining to the class how his girlfriend was indebted to him as a results of his gift and signs of love, and how he on a regular collected his giving back in kind. I was amazed as to how the young people of our time have declined in morality, and as I quietly ended the class which had become more of a sermon on the mount, I ended with the words from the scripture down below.

Now its your turn... what do you guys guys think?! should we give to receive, abiding by the Nigerian law of "I scratch your back so you must scratch mine." Lol! :)

Oh before I forget, I would like to say thank you to The Young and Confused blogger *yimu*
or the blogger police as I like to call him for all the PDA’ing and all. He is one crazy human being, trust me :)!

"Give not thy strength unto women, nor thy ways to that which destroyeth kings."
Proverbs 31:3 (King James version)

So that’s it fam, my little way of appreciating all the bloggers that got into the 14-for-14 challenge, they all inspired me at various times with their ever thrilling post and all, and my I am excited and thankful to GOD that we all saw it to the end. A couple of times it slid by my heart to stop, but remembering that this was an opportunity to exchange thoughts with the ever Beautiful Chisom, my mentor and brother who inspires me with his tact manner of writing and his charisma T-Notes, and my wonderful and ever beautiful Blog mother whom I am growing to love so much Ms Janyl Benyl, I thought to just keep keeping on.

Thank you for the past 7 minutes of your time, I know that is really rhetorical on this post, but you know if you believe its 7 minutes long in your mind, its actually 7 minutes long in reality. **Shines Teeth

P.S: So in the season of Christmas, we at the YnC team would like to give out N 1,000 wort of airtime on this post. All you need to do is GIVE THE NAME OF THE PERSON ON OUR BLOG TEMPLATE THIS WEEK. The first person to answer correctly wins. A tip is she is on my Instagram page, and she is a ghen ghen blogger. 

Cheers fam, as you are why I write. Do have a ghen ghen week ahead fam, and may you fall in love with that somebody you haf been crushing on ni oruko Jesuuuu.. Amin Amin Amin ni oruko Jesu... :)

#Udo #ItcanonlybeGOD