Monday, 26 January 2015

If I was President...

Turn up Turn up ladies and gentlemen.. Oya JdB calm down and compose yaself like mother taught you **wears Mr. Nigeria smile. So **In my Blog mothers beautiful and Angelically  serene voice.. Hey Lovelies! How you doing?! Nah.. I love my Mama pieces as she rocks, but I have to be hyper mehn! hehehe Soooo… From the bottom of my heart and in Eric Thomas’voice I say: Thaaaannnnkkkk GOD its Monday fam. Osheeeeey! So what gwan fam? In Moby's voice Kilonpop? Whats the frigging 411 people? How was your weekend? Mehnn mine was gangsterly suffer head filled jo! Okay lemme give you small gist.. Since Dr. Duru traveled yeah, me and my Big brother had been doing german-german as regards cooking and all, and we just split the Weekly allocation or sha do something german-german shaa to eat, so I have not had to go to the food market all the while.. But last week ehn! Choi! I had to go as Father comes home soon.. Shey you people know that this cashless economy thing that that craze man called Sanusi started is arrant NONSENSE? Well in my 2 koro koro eyes oh, nothing in Nigeria is cashless Biko, there isn’t even enough cash in circulation sef before person go dey talk cashless **in Tosynes voice… mcheeeww… So on Friday i couldn’t draw cash from the bank cause I was sorta busy all the while, so all I had in my wallet going into Saturday morning was Transport to the market, as my mind was set on the cashless economy brouhaha nah. I had decided that I would just carry my Access card and get cash at the ATM when I got to the market, but that was a big mistake. My people na so Saturday reach oh, I wore my customary all black market super hero costume and boarded a bus to the market. On getting to the market, my woes begun, cause na that day I know sey no be everywhere get ATM oh! Once I alighted from the vehicle, I looked to see if there were banks around, but for where? nothing. So I started asking kweshion about where the banks are located, and every one said, “just go straight down”, “Just walk down a bit”.. Someone said “Just enter a tricycle, its not that Far!” Now the thing with my confused head is that I believe that anywhere a Tricycle can go? my 2 legs can go better.. hehehe So in the light of me trying to outdo keke, I trekked from Odo-Eran food market to LASU! I mean it was so pitiful at a time that I was just shaking my head at myself like Janyl does of me when I tell her I have caught feelings again.. heheh I love that lady biko. So my people that was how I trekked Israelite journey, but I am glad to inform you that the mileage I have covered with my legs  are increasing day by day, and I am even thinking of applying for the Guineess world record title, you never know nah fam, I just might win. In Tosynes voice yaggggaaa!

So last week Monday I had to go spray my Timberland boot at the Lagos island, so someone dropped me off at the bar beach police station, and as an Igbo man nah, I cannot pay 100 Naira bus fare for such a stone throw, so I put my waist coat in my back pack, and started trekking again. :( While I trekked, I saw posters everywhere, you know pictures of Buhari, Jonathan, Ambode, Jimi Agbaje and all, and it had me thinking of the state of my nation. The truth is in my confused head yeah, Nigeria is in trouble, and we keep winding down the self destruct path more and more daily.. I remember when I was still very close to the remarkably smart and beautiful Bim who is far away in the U.K, there were times that stuff would happen here and I would just write her and ask how much Blood would have to be shed, how many more people would have to die, who would be next, and how much more… Truth is fam, the state of this Nation e haf taya me oh aswear!.

I do not intend to campaign for anybody via this post, hoot! I didn’t even register as the yeye corper they put outside my close gate was hinting I bribe him to stay over time, but I have been following the state of the Nation on social media and it is saddening, plus reading about the Baga attacks recently broke my heart, and the pictures I saw crippled my emotions and **in Jilda’s voice made me teary and shi, as I saw Humans roasted  like New year goats. To this I can only ask How much more? Who else will have to die cause of these senseless tribal reasons?! Would things be same if I were president?!

The truth of the matter is I believe that Nigeria is not ready to govern herself, as these tribal and barbaric partisan inflicted violence as well as the gibberish these politicians are spilling is a clear cut show of the fact that whoever wins the February elections, GMB or GEJ, the next 4 years will be nothing different from the last 4. That regardless of how these people brain wash us Nigerians to buy and carry Brooms and Umbrellas under the sun like confused people, and how many bags of rice or gallons of oil and yards of wrappers they share, there will never be true change in this nation, cause a man who has refused to change the way he thinks and sees himself can never truly change the way others see him and themselves. But what would if I do if I was president?!

The last 10 years have been horrible fam, people have died countlessly like chickens, innocent people, my people, Nigerians regardless of if they be Muslim or Christian, North or south, my people are dying cause of stupid reasons.. I mean it took me falling in love with the beautiful Jilda to kinda get over the 2014 Nyanya blast at Abuja, which is horrible to even think about now, and when Ribena told me they were going to Banex plaza yesterday, I couldn’t but have a chill of fear trickle down my spine as regards terror attack, hoping that someone I have feelings for doesn’t get hurt. So this Monday morning I ask; are these the kind of things we should talk about as a nation? Shouldn’t security be the 1 and only focus of a president as against re-running for office? Shouldn’t an explanatory strategy be the first line of manifestos, as against empty promises or advocating for purposeless change which we first dont see in the aspirants themselves? Well I guess I will never know, as all I am is a 23 years 2 months 14 day old young and confused man sitting behind a PC in an open office, maybe I will never know the true underground reasons for these violence, cause I can only ponder how illiterates with limited arsenals would be stronger than one of the strongest Armed forces in the West African region. Smh. It scares me fam, it scares me. Would it be so if I were president?!

Here and now I ask my self. If I was president, what would I do? If I was president, would I sacrifice my comfort to make sure these deaths stop? Would I ignore my pride and self worth, and bring out the soft part of me, the alter ego in me and just walk away? Truth is I don’t know, but what I do know is that I wouldn’t sit and say loads of careless statements that show my weakness more than my strength, I wouldn’t make promises I can’t keep, I wouldn’t let the madia have the kinda ridiculous power they have, If I was president I would get married to Ribena on the 31st of January 2015 **winks, if I was president I would step down to ensure that peace reigns, rather than let the blood of one more citizen be on my head. Oh! If i was President **deep sigh.

Thank you for the past 7 minutes of your time great Young minds, you guys do me a great Honor, and you are my WHY! Inshort you guys are the real MVP’s biko.. Morayo called me for about 24 minutes while I was making Spaghetti last Friday I am getting real good at that thing oh:P, and she just kept laughing on the phone. Aswear fam, you guys are my energy and the true inspiration comes from you guys. My prayer for you all going into this new week is that, doors will open for you, and lines will fall for you in perfect places… Plus may you never run out of Tooth paste on a Sunday morning when all the stores e haf not open and the aboki of your close e haf gone to play.. Mehn battling with that tube is hard work. **Shines teeth.

Woman Wrapper Status:
So you guys know you are the real MVP’s nah, and that we are together in this #MyBachelorsDiary search for the ONE nah.. So leeme update you guys on my toasting progress thus far, may I?! You guys remember Ribena ba?! The blogger I am tripping for… Well we are getting pretty close day by day oh, plus she is mega awesome… You need to hear her voice, Chisos!  it can make a man commit fornication with his phone! **Covers face… Choi! It is frosh like that. Soo guys the kicker is I am not sure if she likes me well enough to be with me. I mean I am too young to think about forever yeah, but living my life daily knowing a beautiful lady almost as beautiful as Ayo Thompson (who is one of Blogsviles finest) as my heart is my life purpose. Oh Well, lets see how it goes. One of the things I admire the most is the fact that Ribena and I both have similar lives …but fam, I don’t wanna screw it up this time, so amma just do it step by step.. You know it took you guys to help me heal through the last one nah, so we are together on this.. any advice please?!

Blogger Status:
Jessica Allen: Now this is one beautiful 21 year old child who is amazing on all levels.. I mean her blog is so warm and I love the fact that she is accommodating.. **Whispers IF NOT THAT I AM TRIPPING FOR RIBENA ALREADY EHN, I WOULD HAVE CHANNELED MY ENERGY HERE OH! Okay that’s a joke oh! So Jess is a fashion blogger who has this Inspiring Monday series and has this wonderful Aura around her that just makes you wanna know more. Y’all please show her some love, cause she is ghen ghen like that **Shines teeth.

Amaka: Hehehehe every body loves Amaka jari. Amaka is this uber smart child whose wisdom leaves my mouth opened each time I visit.. I mean there is no day I go to her blog and don’t learn a new word, as she is gangster like that. She writes about anything and everything, and one of the things I admire about her is her openness and birds eyeview on a vast array of Topics. Kindly head over there, cause if you think I like speaking big big Onyibo, then you need to meet Amaka! **Shine teeth.

Yours Truly.. Now one thing about Y.T is I can bet my life that she is beautiful, I mean just like my mind tells me about Sykik, I can feel it inside me, and though these ladies are anonymous yeah, they are wonderful in every sense of the word.. I would have said Amazing, but Sophie is the AMAZING one... YT always has very interesting posts, and I admire her like kilode. I mean she isn’t just any blogger, she always has some HAWT gist.. heheheh I read about a guy who caught of his Moses ROD so he could fast more. Heheheheh I mean just check out her blog, it will be worth it aswear.

P.S: So the awesome Erniesha Tibs has threatened to start a hashtag to get me to blog more than once a week.. **Deep sigh.. Fam y’all know that shi aint easy nah See me that still has a virgin passport forming Americannah but hey maybe we at YnC will cook up something.. But Fam just in case I don’t, you know I love you guys nah **Wears Mr. Nigeria smile.. So use your church mind to understand that this Young and confused brother has a sorta booked life.. I mean when I aint Bloggng, or working, I am pursuing woman.. And you guys know that being a full time woman wrapper is a tough job.. **Shines teeth. Mannie called me Player, hehehehehe brother mi, if I punch you ehn.. heheheh I am far from that biko! Lets just call me a brother who appreciates Heavenly creations shall we?! **Smiles.

Cheers Fam, and do have a turnt up week. Please no matter what, stay Young and confused cause I think that’s the only way we can truly learn. LIVE YOUR LIFE WITH PASSION.

#Udo #ItcanonlybeGOD

Tuesday, 20 January 2015

15-for-15 Challenge_ Family (January Post- OH! MY HOME)

Turn up Turn up ladies and gentle men, what gwan fam? What’s happening? In Mobys voice Kilon pop?! Mehn I dey vex.. I mean yesterday I went to bed relatively early, more like immediately I got off the phone with Erniesha yeah, I boarded the next flight to lalaland, and then bam, I woke up to that frigging alarm by 3:47 Am, and saw this email from the place of survival saying “Dear Duru, please turn water into wine and send to us at the Abuja office VERY EARLY IN THE MORNING.." I mean comeonnn… these guys ehn. Haba! Because I am forming loyal and doing Vampire that doesn’t want Festac morning sun to catch me in bed doesn’t mean I don’t have a life nah.. **Shrugss.. Anyway, I just got in here, but before I even open my outlook yeah, lemme attend to you guys who are the real MVP’s jari. I would have said you guys mean more than my job to me ehn, but as an Igbo man, money matters, and in the light of you guys refusing to start paying Tithe into my Stanbic account yeah, I have decided to be loyal to my job a little more than to you.. **Wears Tashas mischievous  smile.. So how was your weekend fam? If i didnt send you a V.N with me singing in my Ghen ghen voice over the weekend, then expect me like second coming ooo **Shines Teeth. Hope you guys turned up ooo, hope you went partying… that reminds me, tomorrow is my Numero Uno’s birthday, and the birthday of one of the bloggers that I trip for with all my heart.. You see ehn, something about Agbani is that she gets mad at me per second on Watsapp, but I love the fact that she never stays Mad at me.. Agbani I love you to the end of the moon and back, and if not for the kinda muscles that your boyfriend has, plus all the Brother in the lord moves Gbolahan is throwing at us that we dont quite understand ehn **Tongue out, I would have been toasting you by now. Happy Birthday in advance bubba, please have fun oh, and give me details for the parry biko, my blood dey hot and i haven't been with woman in a while.. **Covers face. Please where is Evey Koko o? I miss her baje baje.. So my life has been since Dr. Duru went for her licensing exam in far away Enugu, and I miss her like kilode **Wears sad face.. In the light of that, and having that me and my big brother both hate to cook and wash plate. Kai I hate washing plate ehn. I prefer to sweep from here to Badagry than to wash plate walahi Chisos! we have had only 2 options since she left. Option A. Eat swallow outside since its easier to build house than to cook soup, and Option B. Eat Rice and Tin tomato with maggi and Oil somewhere there in the concoction stew we cook… :( So yesterday I was angered in my spirit and went to buy Spaghetti to cook.. My people when I got to the store, I bought Cameroon pepper, and 6 cubes of maggi and Oil and I think that’s all.. We are broke so we didn’t buy meat or anything, we just had to change diet noni. My people that was how I entered kitchen oh! And the worst happened.. Now I am a pepper freak, so each time I am cooking Biafra food, i always pour the lot of the 50 Naira worth into the pot, but yesterday i didn't realize that the Cameroon pepper is made in hell fire. Fam na so I pour everything inside oh as the spirit led, and then poured ALL the pepper as usual. Chisos! When the food was ready ehn, we were looking for fire extinguisher after every gulp.. it was HORRIBLE. Its official I need a wife. A fine wife that would be teaching me cooking through watsapp. Please apply in person. Thank you.

Before I start to go all lovey dovey on my family, I have to rant at them. Is it me or African.. No screw that... Is it me or NIGERIAN Parents can send message for state? Mehn this Enugu I went to ehnn.. Lemme just say I suffered. Chei! I never hexsperred it aswear. My Dad was just a thorn in my Flesh during the day, and a drinking Partner at night **Shines teeth… First of, I think I need to change my name, as this Junior that they call me is wayyy too easy.. I need a new name, you know all those kinda names that they will forget, and before they remember yeah, they will just kuku decide to do the thing by their self. Maybe Alphonsus.. No they will remember that one, its similar to Adolphus smh, Or Niccodemus or Scholastica. Or something.. Because My father! That man! kai! During the Yuletide ehnn, he will be watching TV down stairs and then I will just enter his head and then bam! Junior!!!! Come and close this curtain! I mean the curtain was just by his shoulder all the while o! or he was like Junior!!! Come and reduce this Television.. Ehm Sir, use the remote nah... lmao.. This one angered me the most: Junior!! Come and answer this call and tell them I am sleeping.. I died after this one.. I mean the day he said that ehn, I was like in my mind, sir just ignore the call already nah!.. I love that Man aswear.. heheh my nigga for long time thats who he is. The day I wore my headset at daytime ehn! Chisos!! See tongue lashing.. lmao! But you know ehn Fam, on the last day of my stay at Enugu, I realized that all these things they do to us are done intentionally, cause they still want to be sure that no matter how much money we made when we grew up, or how successful we would become, they just wanted to be sure that we had their back, and that I would never forget him. They still want to be sure that we remember to not forget them, and that we are their kids no matter what. I mean I know this nah cause dad said it to me indirectly.... But grr… Why didn’t he just paste a "Don’t forget to remember me" notice on the wall nah. Heheheheheh. Oh My Home!

So January 20th this year marks 3 years since we lost the first house which I wrote about in: B+ Hopedies last, so I have this kinda Ambivalent feeling. However, in the light of the fact that I took up the 15 for 15 challenge by Janyl, it seemed right to write on this what comes to my confused mind in relation to that day… You see on January 20 2012, after we lost the house yeah, in my confused eyes life was over, I felt my family had more or less been thrown back miles backward that we would become a public disgrace, I thought I had not just lost my fathers house, but also our HOME, and then going back to school for my Final year then I had this low morale like my world had ended.. In my head life as I knew it was over.. But then GOD has taught me that for a family to thrive, all that is needed is not as much as financial strength as it is Emotional strength.. Cause when I look around now, I find out that indeed we lost a House, but then our Home became stronger as that winchie winchie incidence took away all forms of cracks, and made us all bare in each others eyes.. I vividly remember that all I had left after the fire was a pair of black shoes and the very clothes I wore, and so did Dad and Mr Mamman. My Big bro and Dr. Duru were far away so they were less affected, but us 3, we realized that yes we lost the house but the fact that we had each other still breathing was all we needed to rebuild, to recreate our lives, and to be WEALTHY again. Do I miss the things I had! Hell yeah! do I love the things I have now! HELL YEAH!.

You see life through my eyes is a bloody confusion, but I am learning that Love is all that really matters in a family, cause even at that time when it would rain and we would be drenched, waiting for the sun to come dry us up, I realized that the fact that I had my Dad to tell me that all would be alright was all that I needed to keep hoping. to keep keeping on, and to not loose my head on those bastards that brought us pain. That I had my Family there by my side was all that I needed. In all sincerity, I dunno what many go through in their personal lives, but what I know is that Family is the strongest incorporation there is, but not a family based on hate or selfishness, but a family based and built on true love. So no matter how fucked up our conditions become, in my head ehn, there is only one first place of call to aim to heal at, and thats with your Family.

Thank you for the past 7 minutes of your time great Young mind, you guys do us a great Honor. In Barr. Duru’s voice, my prayer for you yeah, is that GOD will give you the energy to have many many many many midnight prayer session with your spouse that will result in plenty plenty plenty kids, and that he will then give you the longevity of life to live and have plenty grey hair, so as you grow older yeah, you can Cross your legs on a table while sipping on Palm wine, and shout to your last born Son! Junior!!! Come and reply this comment on my blog. :) Cheers Fam and do have a ghen ghen week ahead.

P.S: How many of us know Erniesha of Well a couple of people have asked why all of us adore her, why we love her so much, why we treat her like a queen… Someone even called us Voltrons.. Smh.. People sha... The truth is it is because that’s what she is.. AWESOME… Erniesha is a blessing, she is someone that Loves and loves completely, someone that sacrifices and sacrifices completely, someone that is loyal and that is loyal to the core. She is AWESOME aswear.. that’s the word.. I would have added Amazing.. But SOPHIE is my personification of amazing (Mannie and Ice if you near Sophia ehn, I will kill you both..)**Winks at Ernie.. So Erniesha got nominated for a  bloggers award and its going down, Y'all please show her support and vote for her, cause she deserves it, trust me. She really is an Amazingly Awesome lady.

P.P.S: I totally apologize for locking the comments box on yesterdays post, that post was too deep for me, and I just needed to write it and just leave it! I promise you fam that as long as I am a woman Wrapper in this life, it will not happen again. I give you my word. **Wears Mr. Nigeria smile

P.P.P.S: Tomi and Zoe are backkkk… I am uber excited. I love these 2 writers like Kilode. Please show them some love.

P.P.P.P.S: To all the Participants of the 15 for 15 Challenge, lemme just tell you oh! no! lemme warn you... **Draws ears.. Lemme Tell you that I Duru OBEREAGU (Small Lion) Adolphus 1 of that my village that i don't remember the name of... I'm the Defending Champion of the challenge, and I am not gonna let any bory steal my Trophy… **Looks at Clara.. hehehehehehe Turn up Turn Up people, please put up your posts already, I am waiting.. based on experience the challenge is simple, write from your heart remembering GOD is your source, inspiration is the goal, and fun is the aim. Cheers fam. OOOssshhheeeeyyyy... have you guys heard Feeling the Nigga remix by D'Banj with Akon? Chisos! Its frosh like that. Oya bye.. My Manager e haf come. xx 

#Udo #ItcanonlybeGOD 

Monday, 19 January 2015

...a walk in my shoes.

**deep sigh… The dream was simple when I was in heaven… You know, it was as plain as the nose on my egg shaped face, come to earth, be born to a British family, have a mother that loves me and will never leave me, a Father that could die for me, and siblings that loved me with all their heart and soul…. And then bam! on that cold Tuesday in the great year of enlightenment, I came into this world, not like a boss, but like everyone else; with tears in my eyes cause of the burning light which was close to blinding, with tears in my eyes because of the fear in my heart as those cold moist hands of the doctors tried to pull me out and cut off the true connection I had with my mother which was not just a placenta, but my ability to be with her, hear her thoughts and feel her warmth, I came here crying cause I knew I had not just left heaven where I could have all the chicks and Play station 4’s and gadgets and all the cool shoes, I was crying cause on that Tuesday yeah, I had been born into a world of utmost confusion, misconceptions, strife, pain and a world filled with as much love as it was filled with pain. And then I picked up my first pair of Kito shoes, and began my walk.. Where to? Who cares.. Why! Who cared. Yep.. Today was the 12th of November 1991.

At 15 the plan was simple, be an inventor at 18, get s scholarship to the University of Leicester or Essex or at worst Covenant, be a millionaire before 25, fall in love again and again and again, get laid again and again and again and again and again and again :) and then live happily ever after. Never for once did I think of becoming a writer, or becoming like my mentors Adebola Williams, Ashraff Mammann and Donald Trump Jnr who are all socialites as much as they are sources of inspiration, all I knew was that I wanted to make a difference, I wanted to be stinking rich and have 5 times what we have, I wanted to touch this world NO! Shake this world, I wanted to make a difference somehow, but above all, I wanted to not die an unlived life… Well here I am, not sure if I am living or existing, not sure if I am making a difference, not sure if my voice is being heard cause of its playful tone .. Damn! Mehnn I guess all I can do is stay grateful for the journey this far, and keep walking in my Mickey mouse shoes…

So many times in my life I have tried to be mean, non emotional, you know the heart break kid that scores and goes, the one who never gets attached. So many times I have tried to be someone else that isn’t me, someone else whose feet couldn’t feet in my shoes no matter how hard I tried, but all the while I have failed, all the while I just couldn’t do it, I couldn’t be mean, I couldn’t be harsh, nor totally hateful, or a full time Casanova… Damn! How I failed each time I tried like I failed at Chemistry in secondary school. Since I came on here, I have met so many people, people that I sincerely love, people who when I say they mean the world to me I meant it from the depths of my heart, people I have tried to inspire, people that have made me smile, people who have gone out of their way to make me happy.. mehn, to all of you I say “Thank GOD for the day our paths crossed”.. But I wish those were the only side of them I have met.. mehn.. I have met those that made my heart bleed with their words and mails, those that misunderstood me for nothing but a joke, those that saw more trash in me than treasure, those who made me lose sleep, those who when I said I love you, they took it with a pinch of salt, and to those ones, I say I love you, to them I say please don’t leave me, to those ones I say I cannot be more or less than I was created.. To those ones I say please, accept my shoes, they are the only pair I have.

I write this post not knowing why I write it, not knowing what I am doing as has been same with every other post, but I once heard a lady I had only met online cry for me, she cried cause I was letting go, mehn it broke my heart as to how I could connect with her on such a deep level, as to how she could love me so deeply, I mean I think of this now, and my eyes are teary, and to her I say Thank you Bubba for teaching me the true meaning of true love. In the past week my heart broke, I felt wrong, I felt like such a waste, as every part of me was pierced and bleeding as someone like y’all that I truly love misunderstood my every confusion, my hands trembled as I read the mail yesterday, and I took intervals to put my head underneath my pillow cause of the pain I felt reading it, In-short I kept cursing as I never hexsperred it… I mean I was sincere all the while nah, why could they hurt me for being so? why couldn't they understand that to be loved is all I have craved for my entire life.. Not Romantically loved oh! but to be loved without strings.. **deep sigh... To you I say I am sorry that I was misunderstood. I am sorry cause y’all were correct, I got carried away by the size of my shoes and rather than just walk in them, I danced in them even in the rain and unknowingly splashed water on you.. I am sorry, please don't leave me, as i need you.

I met a lady, and she is AMAZING. I don’t know how she does it yeah, but she sees treasure in this trash, she somehow has been able to handle my idiosyncrasies with a smile, she has been able to accept me for the nothing that I am, and watsapp bears me witness…  to her I say Bubba, if I had just a little more, I would buy you the world not so that I could show you my wealth, but so I could make you smile. Thank you for understanding my confusions when so many don’t, thank you for making me realize life is too short to claim to be worth Naira 2,800,000 when I am not,  Thank you for letting me walk in my own shoes all the while. To her I ask; Will you be my girlfriend? Heheheheh I see you shaking your head for me.. lmao… That was a joke Bubba, but please let’s grow together wearing each others shoes.

My time here is ticking Monday by Monday, and I fear that my Why! may not be achieved… but as I walked to the 8-5 in the Lagos heat this morning, I thought to myself that when this blog is over, what do I want to be remembered for? Do I want an hagiography with my name on a series of other blogs?!, Do I want praises to be showered on this utterly young and confused 23 years 2 months 7 day old child when people would call to ask how I was fairing as an EX!? Yep, I would want that and jara sef, I am human nah. **Shines teeth.. But what I would want more is for someone to say “There goes a  young man that made me a better person”, I pray and hope that a 100+ people would think of me and smile cause I would have been have been able to share my shoes with them and of me they would say, “when he was here, he made me smile” cause in all sincerity yeah, that’s the reasons I bought the Timberland shoes in the first place, cause a walk without a destination is only for the mental and not for us the confused.

#Udo #ItcanonlybeGOD 

Saturday, 17 January 2015

15-for-15 challenge _ Introductory post

Turn up Turn up ladies and gentlemen... Hope you guys are turning up ooo, and catching plenty grooves?? Well me i am here in my manison room knacking my head on the ground, as all my account balances are not giving me a reason to smile.. Kai, this January get as e be... I was spending money like a fowl all Christmas, and now yeah, I am as broke as a fish... **deep sigh... **goes on my knees in my head...DEAR Heavens, if you give me money this week ehn, i promise to not "eyes" cheat on my next girlfriend for a week No! For 2 days i meant, when she comes. **Deep sigh... This January is tough oh jari, but like Barrister Duru says yeah ""Man no die, man no rotten"". Kindly be informed that in the light of the fact that my Engineering career hasnt brought me the kinda money i want yeah, and my coy has refused to review my salary, i am thinking of going into music... Plus as all the girls want a Korede Bello kinda guy, i must sing noni hence i shall start sending Voice notes to all of you soon. Incase you know Don Jazzy personally yeah, kindly foward the voice note to him, as a Korede Bello I must become.... So bbbrrrraaaccceee yaself fam

So this is a little quickie i had to do. Janyl Benyl who:is my Blog mother has opened the doors for the 14 for 14, No!! I meant 15 for 15 challenge and I thought to participate. I am uber excited about it, plus that of last year was frosh like that, and I met sooooo many ghen ghen bloggers through it, so here we are doing the next one. As confused as my 23 years 2 months 5 days brain is yeah, i dont quite know what i am going to write on, but my personal theme for this year revolves around Family, so i guess i will be writting about Family all through the challenge. I just hope that i will stay loyal till the end ooo, and that **in Mzz Sykiks voice yeah, 1 Hayoungee will not come and steal my attention away. 

So thats it gang, do have a ghen ghen time of whats left of the weekend. Cheers fam.

P.S: In the light of me being tired of my singilitude, I intend to through this challenge fall in love with a beautiful blogger, so help me god. Safe fam, as you are why we write... You guys are the real MVP's biko, and there is no us without you.

Twitter/Instagram: young&confused_byjdb/ youngandconfused_byjdb

#Udo #ItcanonlybeGOD

Monday, 12 January 2015

#MyBachelorsDiary_ Love and Blogsville.. ( I met a Blogger)

Turn up Turn up ladies and gentle men. What gwan fam? Whats the 411? How was your weekend? Before I commence this post, I would like to give a Doro shout out to a new recruit of the #YnCgang. Hehehe I sooo like this gang thing eehhnn, it makes us sound gangster ba? **Winks. So his name Dave Dauda.. But I nicknamed him Double Dee.. Welcome on board sir, hopefully you will join Oga Boss Mannie, Ice, Alphasoar and Oga Boss T-Notes to begin to increase the male blood on Blogsville **shines teeth.. **Shines teeth again.. Welcome sir. Wait oh! Tosyne, this one we didn’t talk this weekend, soooo you went to owambe without inviting me ba? My god will judge you ooo you will see.. **Crying in French.. Mehn I am uber excited this morning ehhnnn, as this my wahala hand has been scratching me to put up this post since last Friday.. First off fam, its testimony time people.. So over the weekend yeah, I saw this really cool picture of @dmanyoung (Actress Adunni's son) on Instagram, and his hair cut was frosh like that… Sooooo in my Agbaya way nah, I tried to do copy copy and get something similar but it was too late to go to the salon.. However as Igbo man no dey carry last nah, I sacrificed my hair to my elder brother to do trial and error for me. Heheheh.. And we bagun ooo and  that was how we spent almost 1 hour on the hair and then Bam!! Nepa took light.. Asin I couldn’t cry, as half of my hair was gone, and half still on. As the thing happened ehnn.. my heart started doing kpo kpo di kpo kpo di kpo kpo di kpo kpo di kpo. Kpo.. kpo… and was beating twice as fast  that I almost had a heart attack, as it was 9pm sharp and all those mumu salons in Festac would have closed shop by then, and the Generator was apparently emitting too high current to use the clipper.. Mehn fam you needed see me trying to convince myself in my head that TCN would return power, as I was looking like a masquerade with half hair heheheh.. At one time ehn, I was tempted to thinking spiritual, but having that we serve a GOD that will not let me bring half hair to work on Monday morning nah, Lo and behold them awon-oloshi returned power, and my hair is frosh like that at the moment.. Pictures loading on IG.  Nextly fam we won! We won! We won!!!! You remember the 14 for 14 challenge nah? The one that you guys gave me so much strength to not quit on? Well I am pleased to inform you that the #YnCgang won.. I mean I never hexsperred it faaa, and in Jildas voice, I was all teary  and shi when I saw the results on I was like “it’s a lie”..  Aswear fam, it wouldn’t have been possible without you guys, so I dedicate the trophy to all of you that kept me going with their kind words and ghen-ghen support all through last year.. esspecially the Beautiful Eagle Ugo.. She was there from the beginning.. to all that commented, and to all that saw reason in my utmost confusion.. I dunno how you guys understand my confusions fam, but You guys are the real MVP’s gang.

So this is my first entry of the #MyBachelorsDiary series in 2015, and I am uber excited about it, as its always an opportunity to learn. Now you guys know that this Young and confused 23 years 2 months old brother is the brand ambassador for mushy mushy association of Nigeria (Lagos Branch) when he catches feeling nah,  and you know that I am capable of catching feelings for women as frequently as NEPA takes light in Nigeria nah.. **clears throat.. **Looks at Janyl and covers face.. then looks at Oyinlola and Pharm. Adaeze giving me the evil look and hides.. lmao.. Well it is the truth nah, and let’s just say that’s my own Achilles heel. So I would like to officially inform you that I met someone and I have caught feelings for her sharp sharp as usual.... Cliverly and Cee don't kill me biko.. But the thing is I dunno if my heart is ready, and hence I have a kind question for you guys this morning..

“Is it possible to find love on Blogsville?”

In my confused life, I have found love in different places.. In the school cafeteria, in GCE lesson, at church, on a BRT.. **Winks at Agbani and Ronii ... and all, but  they kinda never last, sooo I had resolved in my head to go and marry 77 yards of wife material from the village on my 27th Birthday as Love no gree work for me nah.. But theres something about this lady.. (Code Name Ribena).. Now in my confused eyes yeah, the thing about Social media is that there are a lot of lies everywhere, especially on Instagram.. As you could see someone as fine as Angel Gabriel’s twin sister on Instagram, but in real life ehnn.. Mogbe!! she is only as fine as  Iyamatanga, so I don’t fall for Instagram or Facebook love anymore thanks to filters, but there's something about meeting someone on Blogsville; It’s different. Now many of us are reality bloggers hence we put our thoughts out there and hope to inspire the next generation as well as young and troubled ones like me, and in all sincerity yeah, something about reality blogging is that no matter how hard you try to be undercover like Toinlicious Alsina  That reminds me… Toin if you don’t buy me my iPhone 6 ehhnnn, I will use your picture as my blogger Template and give Oga boss your number **Wears evil grin , you will always be found out through your writing as you subconsciously tell a part of you out some how, and it is impossible to put up untrue  stories. So moving on to this chicka I met, she is smart, Beautiful, intelligent, and young, plus she is sort of confused and has more class than Agbani Darego her self.. But the thing Is I dunno if my heart is ready. I mean you guys were with me through my brouhaha with my wonderful ex girlfriend who is by far the best thing that has happened to me after Janyl, and since Dr. Duru, Ayo and Moby accepted her, then she was on the way to Wifey-Hood beforee.. **deep sigh.. It is well **Someone pass me a handkerchief.. But with this new babe ehn, I feel alive, and I feel excited again…

...My present condition...

Funny thing is we have been for just 4 days, and when I called one of my stupid friends to tell him that I was in love AGAIN!! he said I was crazy, and that I fall in love every 3 weeks smh for Isijyne ( i will soon dis-bestfriend you).. I told the Awesome Mzz Sykik that I was feeling Butterflies in my stomach for her immediately I met Read  her, and Sykik beautifully said to me that it was probably my hormones, but she gave me hope of a blogsville wedding shaaa.. So Sykik, if my heart gets broken again, its your fault ooo for encouraging me… hhehehehe aswear I love Sykik oh jari.. she always cracks me up with her responses.. she is awesome.. So my question today is “Is it possible to find true love on social media?”, and “is it possible to fall in love with the right person here?” T-notes wrote something about this a while back, and I remember reading the comments, and someone said that “we find love in the strangest of places…” C.P.C also said something like that once. Well today, feeling how I feel, I think that commenter was right, but sadly I have a feeling that this lady will say No. I mean we got talking already, and trust my confused self I already raised up an “if’ kinda situation..  **I am seeing Ice looking at me with his evil grin ready to follow me and drag her already.. but the thing is Even if she says no, I fear not… But I am still going to grow hence my question. Sadly fam, the more i grow older yeah, the more I see the phrase “love at first sight” as merely a hoax.

Thank you for the past 7 minutes of your time fam, you guys do me a great honor with it, as there is no us without you. My prayer for you this day is that Nepa will not take light when you are doing something really important, **Winks at Mannie, and that this Lagos Harmattan will not turn us all into Ice block and finish. I mean it was 19 degrees Celsius in Lagos last week Cc. Clara,  and Lily and that day ehnnnn, I looked at my bucket of cold water for 12 minutes before pouring the first cup..  **sad face.

Blogger Stats:

Now Fam I went on a blog hunt last week and it was madantin..  I found out some really ghen-ghen blogs, and lets just say these were and are my top 3.

Eniwealth.. Now I had being seeing Eniola's name everywhere, but I was just too lazy to click on her name.. **Hits head on the Desk… However I finally got around  to doing it, and in Mzz Sykiks voice.. Oh my daysss it was a ghen ghen something ehhhh.. In Bangalees voice I was like ooossshhheeey when I did. Cause she is frosh like that. I mean she is really awesome a writer that shares her life stories and experiences, and if you are looking for mind provoking posts, then kindly visit her blog, cause this lady has a reasoning of the gods..  You know that thing they say in Philosophy nah? "Wisdom is of the gods..” well they were wrong, cause reading Eniolas post opens up your mind.. Yep she bad like that Fam.

Sophie… Now I am uber excited about this lady.. Have you ever gone to a blog and felt like you were reading yourself? Have you ever found someone that thinks someway like you and triggers excitement within you?? Well fam.. I met someone..  and in my confused eyes, she is like my blog soul mate **winks @ Aunty Clara.. heheh  she is frosh like that.. and She has this wonderful mind willing to teach, learn and be taught as well, plus finding her blog was a whole new experience like Vista. Try check out her blog and be blown away  fam, Trust me.
Okay.. theres a third one.. Ehmm I kinda lost her URL, but I will look for it shaa. She put up a post about being a Christian but struggling with certain things..  and it was different shades of inspiring aswear.. Scratch that gang .. I just found the URL in my Gmail. Her name is Tomilola Escada..  and yall need to read this post I mean the post was so thrilling and so much of an enlightening read that it had me thinking deep. 

So fam if you could check out these blogs ehn, trust me, you will come back and pay YnC tithe into my Stanbic account, cause they are frosh like that.. What more can I say; Blogsville is just a wonderful place.

P.S: I kinda need this answer for someone that means the world to me.. and its pretty important. So here goes.. Dear Ladies, if you caught your Husband cheating (as in not touching bory Cheating ooo, I mean ghen-ghen cheating ) with another woman, what would you do? Someone needs this, and its urgent..  **pretty please fam?! can you be so kind to drop your responses or mail me.. No! please don’t mail me ooo.. Just kindly drop your responses in the comment section, cause someone out there might need it too. **Wears Mr. Nigeria smile.. Shey you ladies see nah… I am as good a guy as much as I am useless a guy **Shines teeth, so you can toast me now. :)

Cheers and do have a ghen ghen week ahead.  The elections are in a month and 2 days, so lets raise our words not weapons.. One moron was trying to fight with me on Twitter cause of GEJ, but in Toins voice I was like Ogbeni Suave jo.. I am not jobless like that.

#Udo #ItcanonlybeGOD

Monday, 5 January 2015

The Rejected...

Turn up turn up ladies and gentlemen, it’s Monday!!! And in the voice of The Mask.. Remember him nah?! That green crazy guy we watched while growing up on the Cardbury breakfast television show.... Well in his voice I go… Ssmmmmooooookkkiing.. Somebory stop me! Hehehe Okay I am uber excited to be back at my desk, more cause I miss the thrill of sealing deals on the phone, the shouts on our heads at meetings, and the mails, and the Duru do this and do that lifestyle, ehen and the me writing long mails that people need coffees to read and all, but regardless of my ghen ghen excitement ehn gang, when my alarm made that noise this morning ehn, mmmeeeehn I never hexssppeerrd to be that irritated.. ggrr… the thing get as e do me jo, cause I can’t remember the last time one electronic device woke me up by 3:47AM.. Any way sha, see this life, we will make money shaaa.. and we will buy the bad Ass 4x4 that oga boss T-notes is dreaming about for both of us. GOD dey. So good morning great young minds, how was your weekend? and the Holidays? Nobory better tell me that it was just there ooo, cause I saw all of you turning up on Instagram, Esther koko was being toasted hia and there, and she was cooking for Africa :), Toin was touring between Lagos and the rest of Nigeria and turning up ANYHOW without telling me, Rayo was attending Reunions and snapping pischurss. Etc,. You guys are the real MVP’s jo.

So I heard Lagos was cold, but mehn waking up this morning was a totally different level, I mean when I came out of the house to walk to the buststop ehn, Chisos!! I was feeling like an Icefish… Enugu is cold steady, asin the first morning I had my bath there during the holidays ehn, I practically ran out Naked after pouring the first cup of water on my bory! Chisos, I never hexsperred it oh!! Ahn ahn! It was like bathing with ice water, so lemme confess, on the third day of my stay there I didn’t have my bath. The water was too cold jari, and in my confused eyes, boiling water to bath is wasting of gas, so I just freestyle like that oh jari.. Well until Dr. Duru reported me to Barr. Duru and then started going all “”We need Air freshener in the sitting room” on me.  Lmao kai I miss that woman shaaa… But you see this lagos own, its madantin aswear. Well, man no die, man no rotten I guess.

So I got back to Lagos on Saturday, and lemme just say that the trip was far from comfortable! Chisos, I suffereeeedddddd.. I mean Aunty Clara I sufferreeeeedd :(. I came in with a GOD is good flight and the flight was 10 hours long by road.. lmao that reminds me, please lemme give yall a heads up, if you are traveling in this obodo Nigeria by road, DON’T SIT AT THE BACK. I repeat: DO NOT SIT AT THE BACK ROLE. Kai at a time my head was spinning cause every gallop the bus entered affected my brain, and it took the grace of GOD and the voice of the beautiful C.P.C for not to pass out, I mean DIE pass out oh not faint pass out. It was horrible! However while on the bus yeah, I saw this lady who was practically all over a particular guy.. You know that John Legends lof nwantintin song that used to make me think of Wajilda nah? All of me? Well that “I will give aaaaaalllllllllll of me line” was dedicated to her, as that was what the lady was giving to the guy. The whole touching bory ;), affection and love. In my confused eyes, they passed for a couple, as the lady would sleep on his shoulders, clean dust from his face, ask if he was tired, ask if he was hungry, hehehe she was even over caring to the point of asking who he was chatting with on BBM at that time I was like haba kilode? Him don marry you ni?, and then in return I saw the cold shoulder the guy gave her, as he was totally ANTI-lof nwantintin to the babe, and that kinda hurt me. I mean they spoke Yoruba, so I could decipher from the lady that she wanted to be loved back and all, but my guy on the other hand was just forming gangster and using her to catch feels and crews.

You see this kinda inspired this post. Growing up, we never really had much… Until I think JSS 3, when we had something, and then we lost a good part of our lives again later on. But you see in between this phases of having and not having, I saw a lot of things. My Secondary school wasn’t ghen ghen like that ooo, but we had some rich folks who thought and acted like they were too cool to be associated with, and there was always this invisible barrier they created with their actions. I mean there were other cool rich and humble kids oooo, but this particular set were just wrong. Sadly I often saw guys and chicks pretend to be far from what they were just to mingle with them, as they hustled to become up to par and struggled to not be Rejected by them.. The cool kids in my secondary school had cars, PS 2’s, mobiles, and alllll the sexy girls… We on the other hand had none. Soooo many people became all shades of what they weren’t so as to be accepted by these cool kids, and thinking about it now just kinda puts me off. Now we all left high school, and it all ended, and when we talk on IG or Watsapp or something now, I realize that right now nobory really cares about who your dad was or is and all as we did back then, as it is what you are, and who you are worth that holds water now. And then it strikes me that pretending to be who you are not to avoid being rejected is all shades of wrong, as it is all but temporal.

You see many of us especially me! Have fallen for this at one time or the other, you know nah; the struggle to belong, to be accepted, to be ghen ghen on unnecessary levels. We have done it in our relationships, colleges, schools and even offices, but life is teaching me that on the long run yeah, just as it has been after secondary school, nobory cares. Thinking about how that lady gave that guy so much love and was still treated as crap makes me kinda sick to my stomach, but you see I don’t blame him cause no body really accepts those who try too hard to be accepted, nobody really sees value in desperation to be accepted, nobory really loves being given a “take it all” all the time, so going into this ghen ghen year, all I ask is that you be you and do you, that you carry yourself with so much prestige that you would pass for the kings kid, that you stay away from toxic relationships where your value is not appreciated. I Ask that you do not pretend to be who you are not to fulfill the desire of another, cause on the long run and in the nearest future, nobory will care about who you claim to be, but  about who you really are.. So be an open book to your friends and colleagues, don't claim to your girlfriend to have N2, 800, 000 starched in FBN where as it isn’t there, don’t claim to be who you are not, cause if they succeed in accepting you so quickly based on lies yeah, be sure that they will reject you quickly when they realize the truth. Clara said something to me over the holidays.. She said “Duru you are a really sweet guy, and we love you cause of that” mehn that destroyed all my FWB plans for 2015, as why should I change to be another cause of another? So this ghen ghen first Monday of 2015… Wait!! Mehn if you see our coys Diary for 2015 ehhnn, its ghen ghen like that  I implore you, NO! I beg you to be who you are, cause that way, it is only the relevant people that will stay in your life. Please don’t try to become what you are not to make someone stay, cause on the long run yeah, It don’t really matter! Permit me to end this post with a line I heard a while back, it went something like:

"How do you expect me to love you for who you are when you have become someone else just to be with me?"

Ghen ghen! Question for the gods I guess. **Shines teeth.

Thank you for the past 7 minutes of your time great young mind… Wait sorry.. do you know that it takes 15 minutes for your cloth to dry in Enugu! Heheh with natural weather ooo. Kai I should resign and start dry cleaning business there ooo  My prayer for you is that love will not elude you in year 2015, and everything that you need to make you shine that 32 teeth of yours will constantly surround you.  I pray that GOD will keep you safe all year, and guide you and yours, plus that thing your heart ghen ghenly needs, may GOD give to you. #PastorJdBmode So you see, I am not a demon all the time, there is an angel in all of us. :( Thank you gang, you are why we are here all time every time… my account number is 73009078310 I have started receiving new year gifts in cash… @ Oyinlola, I am coming for my Sony Experia oooo, I cant fit shout. Lmao

Blogger Status:
Tomi: Now I met Tomi a while ago, and she is an intelligent writer, and a wonderful human being with a heart of gold. I miss her much ooo. All I ask is where is Tomi?! Cc. 1+The ONE

Ms TLG. Hehehe Ms TLG is just like Moby.. hehehe funny thing is that now they use the same Blogger template. I kinda miss her though, cause she was ghen ghen like that.. Please where is Ms TLG oooo.. Cc.. Egbon Toinlicious

C.P.C: Now this babe is my blog crush all time everytime, I got her number over the yuletide season, and she is awesooommmee… I really do miss her writing, and I just pray that she comes back soon. So if you are reading this Bubba, I miss you, in short we miss you on blogger. Please come back, I beg you in the name of Fidelity bank… **Crying in French.

Cheers fam, and happy New year. May this year be ghen ghen on all levels.. Oooosssshhhheeeyyy. Ehen oya please dont vex, this is the last one. Did you guys hear what D-Banj did at the just concluded Lagos countdown?! He shut down the place with his ghen ghen performance.. My guy is backkkkk in the game. :)

#Udo #ItcanonlybeGOD

Thursday, 1 January 2015

There can only be 1 Janyl Benyl...

Turn up Turn Up ladies and gentlemen, guess what?! its 2015..... Yeeeaaahhh Mehhnnnn.. So from the buttom of my heart i say Happy New year YnC Gang... hheheheh I thank GOD we got here ooo, cause that last year was kerosinely crazy.. I mean if you are not thankful to be here ehn, then you need to be flogged koboko deeped inside Izal antiseptic.. So something comes with January 1st; you know nah, the new year new me lines, new beginnings, new hopes, new anticipations, but in the past 2 years yeah, January 1st has been not only synonymous with the begining of the year for me, but marks a very ghen ghen day in my life, as it is the birthday of one of the most important people in my life, someone I am slowly becoming unable to stay without... Yep! You guessed right, it is my Blog mothers Birthday. Ooooosssshhhheeey.
... do you see how naturally neautiful she is?!
I mean many might not understand why I love Janyl so much, but the thing is she came into my life when my life had little or no meaning, as I met Ms Janyl Benyl at a time in my life that I was fast losing hope, a time when depression was a way of life for me, and i could stroll in and out of 18 room palace on depression island..  Back then yeah, when i felt really bad, I would sit at my desk and search through Google with utmost anticipation, looking for something to reduce the hurt and confusions I felt on the inside, searching for something that would make me feel better, and on that faithful day in 2013 yeah, as usual I went to toast my only geh friend "Google", but this time I asked her for something relating to hope. Now the flip side was instead of Google to bring me an article on hope, it brought me an angel instead, it brought me the true personification of hope. You see back then, what I didn’t know was that Google had brought me to the feet of someone who would go on to not just inspire me, but create me aswell. Low and and behold, Google brought me Janyl.
Something about this young and confused brother is I always have mothers at every phase in my life, I presently have a mother at the office, I have had series of them while growing up, and a good amount while at the University, but one thing I am overly sure of is that if I append that phrase "Mother!" to you ehn, I would in turn expect a lot from you. I would expect you to love me, nurture me and be there for me regardless, and trust me Janyl has done all of these plus jara, and the love she showers on me sometimes makes it feel like she carried me in her womb sincerely for 9 months.
....I think theres a kinda resemblance between me and Ms JB ooo.. Am i sure she isn't my mum true true :)
...the sincerity of the matter is that Ms Janyl Benyl inspired me to start writing, to open this blog, to aim to inspire, to aim to help heal me and as many broken people there are. So as she grows older today, I can only pray that she will find daily series of reasons to smile as she makes me do daily, I pray that she will never lose hope as she constantly gives us her disciples a lot of reasons to hold on even through pain in her intelligent writings, and i pray that she doesn’t just find happiness yeah, but that it grows from within her upwards today and always...

Happy Birthday to the best thing that has happened to me since I turned 20, someone I can sacrifice a part of me and a little more for, Happy birthday to someone I sincerely love; Happy birthday to my beautiful blog mother.. You mean the world and some more to me Janyl, as you made me the man I will become. In simple terms Mama, there is no Young and Confused blog without you. GOD bless the day I met you, GOD bless the day our paths crossed.. Turn up Turn up ladies and gentle men, its my Blog mothers Birthday. xx
Photo Credit: Instagram (janylbenyl)
Application used in thiefing the pictures :): 6tag for Windows phones...
#Udo #ItcanonlybeGOD