Monday, 26 January 2015

If I was President...



Turn up Turn up ladies and gentlemen.. Oya JdB calm down and compose yaself like mother taught you **wears Mr. Nigeria smile. So **In my Blog mothers beautiful and Angelically  serene voice.. Hey Lovelies! How you doing?! Nah.. I love my Mama pieces as she rocks, but I have to be hyper mehn! hehehe Soooo… From the bottom of my heart and in Eric Thomas’voice I say: Thaaaannnnkkkk GOD its Monday fam. Osheeeeey! So what gwan fam? In Moby's voice Kilonpop? Whats the frigging 411 people? How was your weekend? Mehnn mine was gangsterly suffer head filled jo! Okay lemme give you small gist.. Since Dr. Duru traveled yeah, me and my Big brother had been doing german-german as regards cooking and all, and we just split the Weekly allocation or sha do something german-german shaa to eat, so I have not had to go to the food market all the while.. But last week ehn! Choi! I had to go as Father comes home soon.. Shey you people know that this cashless economy thing that that craze man called Sanusi started is arrant NONSENSE? Well in my 2 koro koro eyes oh, nothing in Nigeria is cashless Biko, there isn’t even enough cash in circulation sef before person go dey talk cashless **in Tosynes voice… mcheeeww… So on Friday i couldn’t draw cash from the bank cause I was sorta busy all the while, so all I had in my wallet going into Saturday morning was Transport to the market, as my mind was set on the cashless economy brouhaha nah. I had decided that I would just carry my Access card and get cash at the ATM when I got to the market, but that was a big mistake. My people na so Saturday reach oh, I wore my customary all black market super hero costume and boarded a bus to the market. On getting to the market, my woes begun, cause na that day I know sey no be everywhere get ATM oh! Once I alighted from the vehicle, I looked to see if there were banks around, but for where? nothing. So I started asking kweshion about where the banks are located, and every one said, “just go straight down”, “Just walk down a bit”.. Someone said “Just enter a tricycle, its not that Far!” Now the thing with my confused head is that I believe that anywhere a Tricycle can go? my 2 legs can go better.. hehehe So in the light of me trying to outdo keke, I trekked from Odo-Eran food market to LASU! I mean it was so pitiful at a time that I was just shaking my head at myself like Janyl does of me when I tell her I have caught feelings again.. heheh I love that lady biko. So my people that was how I trekked Israelite journey, but I am glad to inform you that the mileage I have covered with my legs  are increasing day by day, and I am even thinking of applying for the Guineess world record title, you never know nah fam, I just might win. In Tosynes voice yaggggaaa!

So last week Monday I had to go spray my Timberland boot at the Lagos island, so someone dropped me off at the bar beach police station, and as an Igbo man nah, I cannot pay 100 Naira bus fare for such a stone throw, so I put my waist coat in my back pack, and started trekking again. :( While I trekked, I saw posters everywhere, you know pictures of Buhari, Jonathan, Ambode, Jimi Agbaje and all, and it had me thinking of the state of my nation. The truth is in my confused head yeah, Nigeria is in trouble, and we keep winding down the self destruct path more and more daily.. I remember when I was still very close to the remarkably smart and beautiful Bim who is far away in the U.K, there were times that stuff would happen here and I would just write her and ask how much Blood would have to be shed, how many more people would have to die, who would be next, and how much more… Truth is fam, the state of this Nation e haf taya me oh aswear!.

I do not intend to campaign for anybody via this post, hoot! I didn’t even register as the yeye corper they put outside my close gate was hinting I bribe him to stay over time, but I have been following the state of the Nation on social media and it is saddening, plus reading about the Baga attacks recently broke my heart, and the pictures I saw crippled my emotions and **in Jilda’s voice made me teary and shi, as I saw Humans roasted  like New year goats. To this I can only ask How much more? Who else will have to die cause of these senseless tribal reasons?! Would things be same if I were president?!

The truth of the matter is I believe that Nigeria is not ready to govern herself, as these tribal and barbaric partisan inflicted violence as well as the gibberish these politicians are spilling is a clear cut show of the fact that whoever wins the February elections, GMB or GEJ, the next 4 years will be nothing different from the last 4. That regardless of how these people brain wash us Nigerians to buy and carry Brooms and Umbrellas under the sun like confused people, and how many bags of rice or gallons of oil and yards of wrappers they share, there will never be true change in this nation, cause a man who has refused to change the way he thinks and sees himself can never truly change the way others see him and themselves. But what would if I do if I was president?!

The last 10 years have been horrible fam, people have died countlessly like chickens, innocent people, my people, Nigerians regardless of if they be Muslim or Christian, North or south, my people are dying cause of stupid reasons.. I mean it took me falling in love with the beautiful Jilda to kinda get over the 2014 Nyanya blast at Abuja, which is horrible to even think about now, and when Ribena told me they were going to Banex plaza yesterday, I couldn’t but have a chill of fear trickle down my spine as regards terror attack, hoping that someone I have feelings for doesn’t get hurt. So this Monday morning I ask; are these the kind of things we should talk about as a nation? Shouldn’t security be the 1 and only focus of a president as against re-running for office? Shouldn’t an explanatory strategy be the first line of manifestos, as against empty promises or advocating for purposeless change which we first dont see in the aspirants themselves? Well I guess I will never know, as all I am is a 23 years 2 months 14 day old young and confused man sitting behind a PC in an open office, maybe I will never know the true underground reasons for these violence, cause I can only ponder how illiterates with limited arsenals would be stronger than one of the strongest Armed forces in the West African region. Smh. It scares me fam, it scares me. Would it be so if I were president?!


Here and now I ask my self. If I was president, what would I do? If I was president, would I sacrifice my comfort to make sure these deaths stop? Would I ignore my pride and self worth, and bring out the soft part of me, the alter ego in me and just walk away? Truth is I don’t know, but what I do know is that I wouldn’t sit and say loads of careless statements that show my weakness more than my strength, I wouldn’t make promises I can’t keep, I wouldn’t let the madia have the kinda ridiculous power they have, If I was president I would get married to Ribena on the 31st of January 2015 **winks, if I was president I would step down to ensure that peace reigns, rather than let the blood of one more citizen be on my head. Oh! If i was President **deep sigh.

Thank you for the past 7 minutes of your time great Young minds, you guys do me a great Honor, and you are my WHY! Inshort you guys are the real MVP’s biko.. Morayo called me for about 24 minutes while I was making Spaghetti last Friday I am getting real good at that thing oh:P, and she just kept laughing on the phone. Aswear fam, you guys are my energy and the true inspiration comes from you guys. My prayer for you all going into this new week is that, doors will open for you, and lines will fall for you in perfect places… Plus may you never run out of Tooth paste on a Sunday morning when all the stores e haf not open and the aboki of your close e haf gone to play.. Mehn battling with that tube is hard work. **Shines teeth.

Woman Wrapper Status:
So you guys know you are the real MVP’s nah, and that we are together in this #MyBachelorsDiary search for the ONE nah.. So leeme update you guys on my toasting progress thus far, may I?! You guys remember Ribena ba?! The blogger I am tripping for… Well we are getting pretty close day by day oh, plus she is mega awesome… You need to hear her voice, Chisos!  it can make a man commit fornication with his phone! **Covers face… Choi! It is frosh like that. Soo guys the kicker is I am not sure if she likes me well enough to be with me. I mean I am too young to think about forever yeah, but living my life daily knowing a beautiful lady almost as beautiful as Ayo Thompson (who is one of Blogsviles finest) as my heart is my life purpose. Oh Well, lets see how it goes. One of the things I admire the most is the fact that Ribena and I both have similar lives …but fam, I don’t wanna screw it up this time, so amma just do it step by step.. You know it took you guys to help me heal through the last one nah, so we are together on this.. any advice please?!

Blogger Status:
Jessica Allen: Now this is one beautiful 21 year old child who is amazing on all levels.. I mean her blog is so warm and I love the fact that she is accommodating.. **Whispers IF NOT THAT I AM TRIPPING FOR RIBENA ALREADY EHN, I WOULD HAVE CHANNELED MY ENERGY HERE OH! Okay that’s a joke oh! So Jess is a fashion blogger who has this Inspiring Monday series and has this wonderful Aura around her that just makes you wanna know more. Y’all please show her some love, cause she is ghen ghen like that **Shines teeth.

Amaka: Hehehehe every body loves Amaka jari. Amaka is this uber smart child whose wisdom leaves my mouth opened each time I visit.. I mean there is no day I go to her blog and don’t learn a new word, as she is gangster like that. She writes about anything and everything, and one of the things I admire about her is her openness and birds eyeview on a vast array of Topics. Kindly head over there, cause if you think I like speaking big big Onyibo, then you need to meet Amaka! **Shine teeth.

Yours Truly.. Now one thing about Y.T is I can bet my life that she is beautiful, I mean just like my mind tells me about Sykik, I can feel it inside me, and though these ladies are anonymous yeah, they are wonderful in every sense of the word.. I would have said Amazing, but Sophie is the AMAZING one... YT always has very interesting posts, and I admire her like kilode. I mean she isn’t just any blogger, she always has some HAWT gist.. heheheh I read about a guy who caught of his Moses ROD so he could fast more. Heheheheh I mean just check out her blog, it will be worth it aswear.

P.S: So the awesome Erniesha Tibs has threatened to start a hashtag to get me to blog more than once a week.. **Deep sigh.. Fam y’all know that shi aint easy nah See me that still has a virgin passport forming Americannah but hey maybe we at YnC will cook up something.. But Fam just in case I don’t, you know I love you guys nah **Wears Mr. Nigeria smile.. So use your church mind to understand that this Young and confused brother has a sorta booked life.. I mean when I aint Bloggng, or working, I am pursuing woman.. And you guys know that being a full time woman wrapper is a tough job.. **Shines teeth. Mannie called me Player, hehehehehe brother mi, if I punch you ehn.. heheheh I am far from that biko! Lets just call me a brother who appreciates Heavenly creations shall we?! **Smiles.

Cheers Fam, and do have a turnt up week. Please no matter what, stay Young and confused cause I think that’s the only way we can truly learn. LIVE YOUR LIFE WITH PASSION.


#Udo #ItcanonlybeGOD

34 comments:

  1. FTC! I will be back.... So please guys... I would like for us to encourage Duru to put up more than one post in a week and I believe that we will all like to read for him eh..... So at the end of your comment today Please add '#YnC2postperweek'..... If we all do this today... I bet he will have no choice... I will be back to read papi.

    #YnC2postperweek

    ReplyDelete
    Replies






    1. A 24-year old boy looking out
      through a train's window shouted, Dad, look, "the
      trees are going behind; they are moving very fast"
      his Dad simply stared at him with so much joy and
      smiled! A young couple seated nearby looked at the
      24-year old and thought to themselves, he's so
      grown up but so childish, he must have a mental
      disorder for his father not to be bothered. Suddenly
      the young man exclaimed again; Dad, look, "the
      clouds are running with us" the couple could not
      resist and said to the old man, why don't you take
      your son to a good doctor may be a psychiatrist?

      The
      old man smiled and said...
      Continue>>>

      Delete
    2. heheheheheheheheh Erniesha, you dont give up shaaa.. nawa oH! **Drops on Knees... Bubba, you know that 2 posts a week is serious business nah.. Plus i use the remaining 6 days of the week to pursue woman.. **IOn Ernies voice.. What am i to do lah?! I mean do you want me to not get married?! **Crying in French.. All these Hashtags you are sharing... Hian... Diarisgodoooo.. Thanks for the love Ernie, you give me a reason to keep on.

      Delete
    3. Aight Niyi.. Thanks Oga boss for visiting.. Will zoom to ya Blog ASAP sir. Cheers

      Delete
    4. I agree with you, Tibs - I really wish he would blog more frequently because all his contents are amazing. How are you, Duru?

      Delete
  2. Come Duru, you've trekked to places i can't even go with vehicles o
    And your woman wrapper status has increased
    How's Ribena

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. hahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahah ROTFL! Its official Esther koko, you are drop dead hilarious.. Well wetin man go do nah, i have to save money so i will be rich when i grow up noni, hence my many trekking..**Shines teeth.. Ribena is fine oh! Our affinity seems to be growing.. day by day, and you just might here dating bells soon. I said MIGHT oh!!! Thanks for coming by Bubba, you always give me a reason to smile. xx

      Delete
  3. I just wanna know who Ribena is.
    Too much gbeborun? Lol.

    This your waka about. No wonder you are not fat.hehehe.
    And yeah! You should post more if possible.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. heheheheheheheheheheheheheheh Stay there oh Funmi.. Aproko will give you longer throat and finish.. **Winks.. Funny thing is you have met her already, but you just dunno... Dont worry Bubba, in due time you will know... Hahahahh @ Waka about.. Mehn Bubba, what am i to do nah, i cannot be dashing danfo money up and down so i gats use my LEG-xus till i buy my Honda i-Vtec. **Shines teeth About posting more than once a week, Bubba, i just might try.. I admire you guys who do, so i juts MIGHT try... No promises though. Thanks for coming by baby mi, you are a blessing aswear.

      Delete
  4. Mehn! I'm nonpartisan when it comes 9ja politics. I don't know if its passion/unemployment/shortsightedness, but I'm amazed at peeps love and support for their candidates in the forthcoming election.























    #Mannie
















    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Mmmaaaa Niggaa.. The thing tire me sef oh! When i see how Lagos peeps are drinking Orijin on top another mans belle, i marvel.. I think its just the interest in getting a piece of the Election money dassall.. Its sick mehn.. Me gan, i didint even register, i could not go and be suffering my self, and at the end another man will be eating the cash.. Abegi! my eyes e haf clear.. maaa Nigga, thanks for the support Bruv, you Rock. You na boss.

      Delete
  5. hehehe you dis bwoiiii. This is what you have been up to ? Okay ohhh . You and Ribena shu have fun. I wee definitely come bak to look for more trouble. *sips ribena while composing a more robust reply*

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. My friend, gaan update your blog. I haven't forgotten the story of the blogger bad boy you promised us *snatches RIbena from her & drinks*

      Delete
    2. hehehehehehe and sheeeessss Back! Ossshheey. Where have you been?! Bubba amma gonna head over to your Blog ASAP to cause noise.. Kai I haf missed you Baje baje shaaaa..... Ooossshhhey! Turn up Turn up ladies and gentlemen, Ms TLG is back. :) P.S: Dont finish the Ribena oh! **Winks

      Delete
  6. Forget, Niesha is cute! I would have married her if Mofaya didn't beat me to it...oh wait, i'm straight. Dammit!

    P.S: I might be forming gangster but my insides cannot take gory pictures biko so please warn us next time about that picture with dead people. Teinks

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. hehehehehehehehehe With all due respect ToyoN Tomato, stay there and be calculating 14 years on ya head subconsciously Egbon hehehehe Let Fashola catch you.. How are you Bubba? So i called you on Sunday egbon and you didnt return my call ba?! my god will judge you you will see.. **Crying in French.. Aight Egbon, my sincere apologies, i just used that picture to depict my pain.. I shall warn properly next time. Cheers and thanks for the love Egbon, you are a blessing.

      Delete
  7. Wait oh, you trekked from odo eran to Lasu ke......that's super Mario in action.....abeg, it it easy on the waka oh.

    I need someone else to confirm this your "supageti" cooking skills....don't blow your own horn jare..:)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. hahahahahahahhaahhahahahahahahahahahahah @ Super Mario.. Its Official Mzz Sykik, you are amazing on all levels.. I mean you always and i mean ALWAYS crack me up.. Chei I haf died lmao ROTFL .. Yes oh Egbon, i was looking for Bank up and down noni so i had to trek.. **Shines teeth... Mehn Bubba I am bad like that now oh! My Spaghetti can even win the grammys gan sef.. **In MC Hammers Voice... **Dont test me. Thanks for coming by Egbon, your love and support fuels our confusions.

      Delete
    2. To imagine that you are haven't reached last level lekpa with all this your waka........ issokay, kontinu, there's God

      Delete
  8. I have been so disappointed since I saw how limited our options are - GEJ and GMB
    Only God can help us

    I am beginning to think you enjoy trekking, that is the only logical reason for some of these stunts you keep pulling

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Mehn.... Mother, truly yeah, only GOD can help us oh! This coming elections leaves me asking where the likes of Pat Utomi, Donald Duke, Tunde Bakare and the lots have gone to hide in.. Anyway, i dont blame them sha, cause I guess its now an open secret that our Democracy in Nigeria Mother is founded on Recycling and not newness of persons.. It is well oh! In my confused head yeah Mother, whatever the case maybe Janyl, and who ever wins, as for me oh, i dont see any CHANGE coming, as its just gonna be same same.. GOD help Nigeria. **Shines teeth.

      heheheheheheheheheehehheeh@ me liking Trekking.. Ahan nah Mother, i was looking for bank to draw money from nah.. **Winks.. Lmao.. Thanks mother for the support, you are my Top WHY! aswear Cheers.

      Delete
  9. Duru can walk for life, u can even start walking business o, u knw that kind of pay me and i'll walk for u, u might turn dangote's running mate, who knows? As for GMB and GEJ, nah d two of dem need rest.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. hahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahah @ Pay as you walk.. lmao! GB you are Epic aswear.. ROTFL heheheh You be craze man aswear.. Truly Oga boss, both of those guys are a No for us, but having that we are likened to be in between the Devil and the deep blue sea in the coming elections, i guess we just have to settle for the lesser evil which is i dunno.. You choose your own :).. Cheers Oga boss, and help me greet our geh friend oh.. **clears Throat. You na Chair man, and thanks a million for the ghen ghen support sir. OOossshhheY!

      Delete
  10. Politics mheeeeeeeeeeeeen some peeps feel too entitled, they forget to serve and wanna be served. Dont wanna write much about this.
    ririzmusings.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. hehe Truly Tweenie, it is infuriating.. You know yeah in Nigeria, me i dont think we have a close to Democratic situation yet sef.. As in my confused eyes, all we have are old greedy and confused people recycling them self every 4 years.. Truly Politics is crazy here.. How are you Tweenie?! Hope you are chilling? Thanks for having us at heart Baby mi, you are our strength. Cheers.

      Delete
  11. #YnC2postperweek
    Bros so free for the waka o, na exercise but biko sofree. LOL. Pele
    If you were president, one other thing is certain, ''Eniwealth would have easy access to aso rock and be getting correct contracts'' cos you trust me to execute without fail. :D
    Your woman wrapper na 1000000000000yards o #kontinhu
    #YnC2postsperweek!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. hehehehehheheheheheheh Eniola for President of Blogsville mbok.. hhehehe You shaaa.. I just knew that you would join the Hashtag.. You know you like wahala shhaa dont you Eniwealth?! Isorait.

      About the contracts, bet of course, what are friends for if not for helping each other out noni.. **Winks If i was president sef, no be only contract I go allocate, i would allocate a whole wing of Aso Villa to you sef as per my Boss lady is concerned. :) How are you Baby mi?! Thanks for coming by Bubba, you are wonderful on all levels.. Ooossshhhey!

      Delete
  12. Replies
    1. hehehehehehehe no be small "Walk"aholic oh! Wetin man go do nah, I was looking for a bank nah.. heheheh

      Turn up Turn up Ladies and Gentlemen, Anu is in the building.. Thank you sooooooooo much for visiting Bubba, my I am humbled and blushing like a fish as i type this cause of your presence.. You are amazing.. Please dont leave us oh Bubba, we beg you in the name of MTN, as i cannot stand another heart break biko. :)

      Delete
  13. You too they vez me jor, ahnahn I told you to always call me instead of trekking like omo israel, I will just call my boys. Lol. How you wan grow flesh? Next time you tok this kian story I go vex o

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ooohhh! Shit! I forgot.. hahahahahhahhahhaahah @ Omo Israel.. lwkmdooo.. Kai Agbani.. You are epic aswear.. That Phrase has me in stitches.. lmao Mehn baby mi, **In Erniesha's voice what was i to do lah? I was looking for a bank, so i had to trek nah.. **Winks.. Oya its a lie, I was trying to save money too.. hehehe **covers face. Thanks for everything Baby mi, you are amazing on all level.. **In Moby's voice.. Oya Chop kiss... You Rock.

      Delete
  14. With the two options they gave us, Nigeria has no hope honestly. Hands down, I give you the head of woman wrapper association of Nigeria. Ribena huh?

    ReplyDelete
  15. You this boy! So this is why you resemble your egbon so much...card-carrying member of the lepa club lol! Sha don't "over-walk" yourself...

    In other news, all the news I've been hearing/reading about the elections have filled me with pessimism jare! No concrete talks about policy or anything, just a lot of talk about irrelevant things. The ting tire me sef!

    ReplyDelete
  16. Hahaha! I see I'm not the only one who would rather save cash and "trekk" than ride a five mins trip! Duru, I dey that camp seriously!
    Lieber, Nigeria truly isn't ready to govern herself that's the sad truth. The govt prides itself in worrying over idiotic things that wouldn't do anything to move the brick wall they have built to stunt growth in every aspect. We need leaders like Thomas Sankara to make the people understand the foolishness Nigeria wallows in before 'e go better'.

    ReplyDelete