Monday, 23 February 2015

15-for-15 Challenge_Family (February post_ Duru the Train station)



...do you ever feel, like a plastic bag... drifting through the wind, willing to start again?!.. Do you ever feel like you are 6 feet in, already buried in and no one seems to hear a thing.. ?! Katy Perry.. Fireworks (The music).

**Deep sigh… I hear the whistling of the trains both around me and deep within me.. all around me I see people, but deep within me I stand alone.. Like I am all alone in a crowd.. I see people waiting at the various train stops hoping to get on my confused life which glitters without but gradually decays within.. I see people look at me like wow he must be the “Cats meow”, see me like I have it all, like I am the ‘cream de la cream’, (17419 83414 29253 Globacom NG) like I am ‘ghen ghen’ like that.. I wish they only knew the demons I fight, I wish they only knew the pains I hide, I wish they only knew that beneath this charade of happiness lies gloom and emptiness.. I wish they knew that the energy I show is only but the energy I mirror from what they show. Who am I sef?! What am I gan?! Where the hell are my from?! From whose loins did I come?! In whose uterus did I develop?! Well I might never really know, but for today yeah, for this very moment.. I am nothing but Duru John de Beloved, a 23 years 3 months 11 days and 8 hour old young and confused child.

Its 6: 29 AM, and I vividly remember the sights my eyes beheld barely minutes ago.. You see #YnCgang on my way to the place of survival this morning, as our vehicle ascended the popular Eko- bridge, I saw a man lying on the express way rolling from side to side, his clothes all covered in blood, begging for help, crying in pain, not realizing that he lay directly on the express way and could be climbed over by a vehicle. I mean I am sure he couldn’t care less, as there and then yeah, all I saw was a battle (49498581 38962100 Airtel NG)between life and death.. But we drove by! We did nothing! We didnt as much as stop but only sympathised on the go.. not just us, but the entire Lagos drove by all under the auspices of “I am too busy to help”, “too clean to get my hands marred in blood”, “too classy to stain the seats of my Range Rover Evogue with the blood of another except she was my woman and we were having sex there for the first time in both of our lives”.. but what if it was me who lay there?! What if that man was my son, my brother, my father, my cousin or my friend, would I have driven by?! I guess not… but you see we all drove by in our trains called cars too busy to help.. Where I alone yeah, would I have helped?! Hell no! That’s what! Cause I fear the unknown more than accept the known which is that young man was dying… mehn what happened to my conscience?!

There aren’t many train stations in Nigeria, but last week NO! that was last 2 weeks.. as I trekked form Costain to Orile in one of my  **In the beautiful Sophies voice usual bants, I saw a gathering of people, some with glooms, some with smiles, some wore suits others wore similitude of rags, some with kids, others with friends and lovers, some wore long faces, others caressed and held their woman by the waist as a means of tapping current and gaining sexual pleasure.. some old, some young... And even though the train was yet to arrive yeah.. as I trekked by, I realized that the same place that was but a place of meeting for some was a place of forever good byes for others, same place that was a commencement point of the journey for many as they boarded the over crowded trains with enthusiasm was a final destination for some as they had to alight. And then it hit me that that was my life. That I am Nothing but a bladdy train station.

Since I was 8(4941 8425 6740 MTN NG), a lot of people have walked in and out of my life, some whom I came from, some who prior to that moment I professed undyng love for and they for me, some who had looked me in my 2 koro koro eyes and said Duru its me and you till the end.. But seeing them leave me all alone in the dark was something I could't understand.. Why?! what did I do wrong?! What was my fault?! what was my flaw?! Was I wrong for being me?! Was I wrong for being unable to control the thoughts and actions of another?! Was I wrong for being a full blooded man with his veins pumping with lust while his heart pumped with love, with his goals focused on money and success while his flesh burning for passion?! I really dunno, but maybe they just failed to see the full picture, maybe they couldn’t stay to endure what ever pain I caused.. but as the classy and ever beautiful even at 35 Kemi Adetiba said on Instagram yesterday.. "Don’t get mad when people leave you over petty things, cause if they truly loved you yeah, they wouldn’t go" and to that the crowd goes… Yyyeeeaaahh mehn!
Tell me how i am supposed to let go of a child who makes me feel like a man?! Who left me 98 messages in 1 swoop.. Hell NO! i wont.

I met a child, 6 weeks 5 days ago.. her name is Ribena and she is 22 years 3 months 20 days old, but has the strength of a 32 years old… She has beautiful long rapunzel hair which is as black as coal, her eyes glitter like the night stars, her skin as fresh as silk. She has brains like Einstein, beauty like Agbani Darego, wisdom like Fela Durotoye, class like Adebola Williams, Humor like Bovi, and a big heart like Mrs Duru (710 062 260 246 036 Etisalat NG), plus she is loving like Janyl Benyl. But just like I have subconsciously done all these years, I found myself pushing her away with my words last Saturday.. and to that I ask myself; Duru what the hell is wrong with you?! Must you push people away all the time simply cause their emotional perspective are antithetical to yours?! Must you make them dance to your tune all the time?! Must you be the captain of the ship all the time? Well to all these my answer is NO! and this time yeah, I aint letting her go… I mean I pushed my Ex away with my stupid tactics.. but this one, this one I want to make family.. as this child completes me, this child ignites me, this child makes me a better man by all standards.

3 weeks 1 day ago, i pushed away a blogger friend who meant the world to me and some more... someone who had nothing but love.. someone whom has had my back and hers for as long as we have known, and to that i only wonder how love became so sour.

So as I end my confusions this morning.. I say no more… No more to choosing to be both Alone and Lonely, no more to trying too hard to hold people from leaving when in all sincerity they neither make me nor do I make them happy, I mean if you wanna go, then please do.. but above all yeah, no more to pushing people away.. cause in all sincerity yeah, I don’t know how much time I have got left here on earth.. so why should I?!

Thank you for the past 7 minutes of your time great young minds, you are why we write, why we strive to become better, why we hope to inspire and be inspired.. My prayer for you this week is that the heavens will keep you safe, and that throughout this week yeah, there shall be no reason to see a spill of your blood either by error or by chance ni Oruko Jesu. Do have a Turnt up week gang.

P.S: Many people think that the Author of Blogs are the real MVP’s, that it is us who direct the affairs of these internet pages.. but that’s false.. and its like saying JdB has given up chasing fine girls.. It is you guys who comment..  who read and find even the most minute wisdom in our scribblings and rants, it is you guys that are the real MvP's.. and it is to you the #YnCGang both new and old I say thank you.. may lines fall for you in perfect places.. and the crowd goes..Oooooosssshhhhhheeeey!

Cheers.


#Udo #ItcanonlybeGOD

Monday, 16 February 2015

#MyBachelorsDiary_Letter of Resignation :(



**walks in singing… This isn’t goodbye, even as I watch you leave.... this isn’t god byeeeeee…  aswear I wont cry, even as tears fill my eyes…  aswear I won’t cryyyyyy.. **cleans lone tear.. Okay Cutt!!! Ladies and gentlemen of the #YnCGang, this is supposed to be a very emotional and “gimme a handkerchief” kinda mushy mushy resignation post..  as I feel so sad to leave.. Bet before I resign, lemme first play small nah **Winks.. Sooo…. Turn up Turn up Ladies and gentlemen **In Sophies Voice.. What Gwaning?! How was the mushy Mushy Valentine’s day celebration?! Hope beds were rocked?! Roses were shared?! Proposals were made?! French kisses were made?!  **Winks @ Mzz Sykik, Moby and Ausserehl..   Hope yall had madt fun oh!!! and that was how some people went to flex and forgot about me Cc  Mother..  Please did anybory help me and see my Egbon Toinlicious?! Just in case anyone did ehn, please kindly help me tell her that **In Wajildas voice… it is over between me and her, inshort we are quarreling! Aha nah! What Hapin ni?! She just did me appear-disappear like a Rainterghost on vals day and didnt even send me a text all through.. **crying in French.. Egbon thats not fairrrr…  Aswear Egbon ko da rara oh! You just left me in the cold! did is say Cold.. No!! I mean in the Lagos heat just like that.. So you turned up with Oga boss and forgot about me ba?! Issorait, my god will judge you you will see.. **In my 7 year old voice, I will not play with thee again.  So how was your Vals celebration gang.. **Clears throat.. Some people were Anti-Love Nwantinin oh! And were saying on Instagram that they would rather be voting.. Cc the beautiful and awesome Esther Koko.

So the beautiful delectable and wonderful plus BEAUTIFUL again Sophie and I would like to say a ghen ghen Thank you to you wonderful people for turning up for our wedding  :P Valentine’s day post **Whispers.. Kai I like that child ehnn iTrip.. She is amazing aswear and she is wife material 20 yaards :) …  it meant a lot to us, and we just kept chatting about it on Vals day.. Your comments were wonderful.. Sophie is really smart ba?! Sheybe I told y’all she was, and you were busy calling me Drycleaner up and down :(?! Please in case you missed the Love to be loved post, kindly see the wonderful Sophies Post here and my craze man confused post here..  Okay.. my valentine’s day was confusing.. First off there was no power all Saturday and no power in crazy Festac means no water, and no water means you are officially (pardon my terms, but its true) fucked up :(. So I had to spend the better part of the day trying to figure out my life, and Voala..  the god of cupid then thought it wise to shoot an arrow at my confused heart..  and I chose to surprise Ribena with a box of chocolates, a Rose flower and some cards. Sheybe i tried small nah #feelingLikeAHelplessromantic.. And when I was handicapped the delectable Raleeyat  came to my rescue **Shines teeth..  Later at night, Ribena called me on the phone and was just awwwwing and awwwwing all through.. That lady is such a sweet heart ehn.. Y’all need to meet her.. **Whispers Insha Allah, I am counting down to the Abuja trip.. I plan to shock her like Nepa wire.
Oya back to my resignation. **enters sad mood back.


Ref: Ync/WWIA/162142015

The Young and Confused Blog.
Somewhere in Festac Town,
Lagos,
Nigeria.
P.O Box 1991_11
16th February 2015.

The General Overseer.
Woman Wrapper Association International.
African Branch
South Africa (the capital of flexing **Winks)
P.O Box 419

Cc. The Grand commander Lagos Branch.


Dear Your Royal highness of the woman wrapper kingdom.

Letter of Resignation

I Duru John de Beloved a perpetual woman wrapper duly inducted under the decree “Pursue woman till you die” under section 1211 subsection 91 write  this letter of resignation from my woman wrapper status.. I will like to inform you that the wahala that has come (especially Watsapp wahala) to me because of pursuing woman like ant pursuing sugar has been detrimental to my dreams of hitting Naira 10M before I  am 25, and getting married before I am 27, and to this reason I think I wanna resign jari.. **I haf tire. and the high blood pressure that comes with chasing women is becoming too much for my small heart as Egbon Clara always says, plus my eyes have seen shege shege, kai! Before I do so sha, I would like to reminisce on the good the bad and the ugly side of our journey thus far.

Do you remember June 2009, I think I was 18 then.. When we met that child that was very very very very very beautiful on FACEBOOK, that had long flowing hair on FACEBOOK, that had a Agbani Darego smile to die for on FACEBOOK, that I knew for sure she was the one all on FACEBOOK  as there she looked like an angel that fell from the sky… Mehn remember how she was everything I wanted and some more back then sir?! But remember the surprise we had when we met her in real life with no long Hair, not a very very very very very fine face, and to realize the Agbani smile was camera induced.. I Remember meeting her later on to realize that all the Facebook package na wash, and all the long flowing hair was Attchee! My I cried, and It broke me baje baje.. I remember how I you went to bed later that night and saw her pursuing me in my dream with broom like APC people :( and how i called off the toasting immediately i woke up. Well I guess it was the fear of dating a “Facebook fine geh that caused that nightmare.

Do you remember that Babe we went to Crunchies Ikenegbu Owerri with?! The one we met on ABC bus in 2010, The FUTO one that was all mushied up and lovey dovey cuddly touching bory on the bus with me?  The girl you were forming motivational speaker and Fela Durotoye for? Well I finally went out with her. Remember how I told you that all I had was Naira 1000 in my wallet on that date, and how I used it to buy her Sausage and Fanta (Glass Bottle not plastic oh).. Kai I remember how she sized me from head to Toe as we spoke and looked at the Pam sandal I borrowed… Kai! I Remember how she said I will call you once I get back to FUTO, but that was story for the gods, as till now she never even flash me sef **crying in Spanish.. I wish she knew how I cleaned my room hoping that I would bring her back there to get some ghen ghen action, I wish she knew how I had discharged all my neighbors so nobody would come knock on the door when the room would be turned to a choir ground.. Smh I wish she knew where I was going and what I would become, she would have not despised humble beginnings. It i well.

But how can I forget the good… How can I forget Wajilda the child that made me smile everyday, the child that looked up to me, that believed in me, that never asked me for anything than for me to be me, and to be the best me I could be for us two. How can I forget to state about a child that I really loved with an anticipation to get married to regardless that marriage was still in 4 years time… How can I forget how we would quarrel at night and the next day she would call me saying “even though I am still mad at you ehn, I just wanna know how you are and be sure you are not dead yet”… How I miss her.

In the light of the above, I write to inform you that I tender this Resignation not cause I am tired of chasing women I mean thats impossible as my blood dey boil, but cause I want something better for the woman I am currently chasing, I want to be fully owned by Ribena and be hers to make or break, I want to Love her and be loved by her fully.. I want her to be who I speak to before I sleep and when I wake up, I want her Picture to be my display picture on Instagram, Facebook, BBM (that I hate), Watsapp, and even LinkedIn sef, I want her to know that I am all hers and nobody elses.


In the light of the above, please accept my resignation but as per FIDIC, kindly note that client reserves the right to claim for any cost incurred due to demobilization from these locations and re-mobilization at a later time to do these works (sorry gang, I had to add that, na our office style of saying to the client; “You gonna pay sucker’”). 

Do be assured of our highest consideration,


With Highest Regards,

Duru John de Beloved.

Monday Bants:


Buiti! Please has anybory met this child?! She is Beautiful.. Choi! Seeing Buiti's picture alone makes me wanna commit fornication  and the sin of Lookery with my eyes.. She is smart, outstandingly witty and has a heart of a mother as each time she comes  to the YnC blog yeah, she never fails to ask how I am, and that always touches my soul…  Having that she is a blogger, her fan base no be here oH! I am sure that her page views are almost a million sef.. Ehen! Did you guys know that my Mama has almost 2 Million page views.. **dies and wakes up! Chisos! 2 million! Will I ever get that much before I resign from blogging.. Oya ngwa ngwa Nonso, lerrus work harder to become like mama.

Ice: Now Ice is my brother, my friend and my day 1 Nigga.. who always has my back and never fails to support me.. Although he likes to follow me to drag woman sha **Tongue out, one thing I sincerely love about Ice is the fact that he is a true brother to the core and obviously one of the true friends I will have here on Blogsville.. I mean he and Mannie always have my back like Kilode, and it touches my heart to see brothers support one another and have each others back at times of Gobe.. Thanks Bruvs! Ice is a fashion blogger that has an immense style, plus his game is sooo on point! Twale baba

Ralleyat! Lemme just say that Raleeyat owns my heart today and always  and there is nothing that child will ask for that I will not do.. Even if she says JdB toast a mad person, I will! okay #naPlayoH! Raleeyat is loving, beautiful, amazing in every sense of the word, and she makes me smile with every chat.. Plus her voice can tempt me for Africa ssshhhhaa… Chisos.. She helped me Play Romeo last weekend and to that i say Thank you Bubba, i wont forget it in a hurry. If you are reading this baby mi, I just want you to know that my heart is a place that you will never leave, and I love you to the ends of the earth and back.. After toasting you like this, please comment oh heheheh **Blows french Kiss your way... **In Lagbajas voice.. Where ever You are Parara(blowing trumpet).. wherever you be parara baby baby babe you never far awayyyyy….  you are always on my mind.

Thank you for the past 7 minutes of your time great Young mind, you are why we write and the only reason why we hope to inspire… My prayer for you is that this week shall give you series of reasons to sing… **In Korede Belo’s Voice… I don get Alert #GODWIN and the crowd goes Ooooosssseeeehy!.. Kai Korede has all the girls on Instagram drooling for him oh! I think I need to resign from this power coy and start singing. **Wears Mr. Nigeria smile… Cheers.


#Udo #ItcanonlybeGOD

Saturday, 14 February 2015

TO LOVE OR BE LOVED? by SOPHIE AUDU!!!!

Hey guys!

Happy valentine's day. I'm pretty sure the gifts have started rolling in progressively. It sure feels good to celebrate love, especially with the ones we love and care about, even though I'm a party to the believe that love should be celebrated everyday of our lives as opposed to waiting for a single day in a year to show the deepness of our love or gratitude to our loved ones. Or what do you guys think? 

I was talking to a friend of mine who recently broke up with a guy she taught she loved. And according to her, "she's found herself". She's the type of girl who usually gives her all into a relationship. Her time, her effort her support, emotions and sacrifices. She's one I would normally call the "mother of love" as she can love for the world. This style however, has ended up hurting her one too many times and this led me to the thought: "which is more important: To love or be loved?"



Duru and I decided to share a post on each others blog as a guest post, addressing the question from our different point of views.

As I sat and thought to myself, it appeared that stories like my friend's are very common. People tending to love more than they are being loved in return, thus, there is usually the "lover" and the "beloved" in every relationship. We are either one or the other. Very rarely are we lucky enough to be both. In the case of my friend, she was definitely the lover. She invested an immense amount of time, emotion and devotion to a person whom she thought loved her just as much. 

Now I don't know about you, but with regards to relationships, I usually prefer being the "beloved" rather than the "lover". This is not because I am selfish or unfair but because, just like my friend, I tend to love deeply which automatically makes me feel very vulnerable in a relationship where I do more of the loving. But then again, one thing I have learnt and noticed is that; I can never fully appreciate being loved until I have loved, and I shall never truly be able to love until I have been loved. So, they sorta go together, hand in hand. 

One of the most terrifying aspects of loving someone is not having that love reciprocated. And the other end of this can also be terrifying, receiving a suffocating amount of love when you ain't actually in love with the giver. So therefore, in my opinion, it seems safer to constantly be the lover. And by assuming that role, we can be sure that we have the power in the relationship to reveal as much or as little emotion toward the beloved as we want. This however, doesn’t go without the potential consequence of pain, but it does put us in the so-called driver’s seat.

To only be the "lover" on the other hand, seems like a dead-end to me. So, I think in a nutshell, what is most ideal, would be, to be both equally loved and beloved. But how do we find the balance? Are relationships ever really that equal and fair, or are we living in constant fear of being too much of one or the other?

I'd love to hear your thoughts/opinions on this: 

To love or be loved, which is more important to you?

Enjoy the rest of your day :)

Friday, 13 February 2015

#Anticipate



Turn up Turn up Ladies and Gentlemen.. How are you fam?! How is the prep for Cupids day going?! I await gist oh!! **Wears Mr. Nigeria smile. So this is a kinda quickie we just had to do... The Awesome and beautiful Sophie of www.sophsinspirations.blogspot.com will be giving us our very first guest post tomorrow... and its gonna be turnt up insha Allah. Trust me yeah, its gonna be madantin... Happy Valentines day in advance #YnCGang... Turn down for what mbok?! @YnC yeah, we only Turn up in Style.. and the crowd goes oooossshhheeeyyy... **Shines teeth. Cheers Gang, and if you have to play, please play safe biko.. I love you guys too much.

P.S: I shall be writing on her blog as well, so if you can Fam, do come around.. I beg you in the name of Fidelity Bank oh! Dont leave me alone in the cold **Wears Mr. Nigeria smile.. :) Cheers. You are our why... Sophie and I.


#Udo #ItCanonlybeGOD

Monday, 9 February 2015

...it's never enough. :(





Yesterday is past, Today is present, Tomorrow is future, so dance like no one is watching… Sophie  (Feb. 9th, 2014)

Turn up Turn Up ladies and gentlemen.. What’s the freaking 411 people?! Mehn oOoossshey! Turn down for what Bikonu?! At YnC yeah, we only turn up biko, and we Turn up with style…. Cause Turning down is a freaking Sin punishable by law.. **In Leeshars voice… So what gwan fam?! whats popping?!Elenkemeghani (means whats up in Igbo.. My Igbo is improving **Shines teeth).. Mehn I had mixed feelings waking up this morning.. I mean it’s just 6.07Am and even before I could write, I had to call Ribena and confide in her cause I am going through some B.S inside me thanks to my shenanigans that set me up... I think I need to buy form to become a Monk aswear. So how was your last week Gang?! And your weekend?! Mehn mine was freaking awesome aswear.. First off! The most important Lady in my life not related to me by blood but internet service and technology called me last week, in person of the Amazing Janyl Benyl.. mehn I was uber excited aswear.. I mean I was smiling like a fish all the while, as I couldn’t believe it.. Y’all know my Blog mother means the world to me and some more nah… I mean Janyl is like my Maya Angelou and the lady I adore with my every heart beat.. She is amazing on all levels biko.. Plus You need to hear Janyls voice.. Chisos!!! I nefer hexsperred it fam.. Its sounded like Agbani Darego’s voice.. and like I was talking to the lead singer of the Host of Angels choir. It was frosh like that… I just kept laughing.. Now, the call came in as I was about to alight from an Okada and get into the close, and once I heard it was her yeah, I just kept shouting… Having that If I entered the Duru’s ‘self acclaimed’ mansion yels nah, so I will not hype our small house ni?!  Shouting, my father would have given me all those kinda slaps that make your ear go “the number you have dialled is not available at the moment”, You know nah the kind of slap that makes one Deaf Dumb and confused at the same time cause Barr. Duru calls me a noise maker ( that’s how I was eating with glass plate and Iron spoon yesterday, and he said the kain kain kain that the plate makes when it meets the spoon was making noise, and he said “Junior why do you like to make Noise where ever you are! Chisos! My heart broke yesterday and if not that I was hungry, I would have left the food out of anger, but me, food and money are 5, 6 and 7.) Well I had to take my blog mothers call on the road walking from 7th avenue to 24 Road and all.. it was Fun hearing my Blog mother talk.. She is amazing and I love her loads, and I was so excited that I just kept laughing like a hyena.. Thank GOD for the day I met you Mama.

So my second hyper story is I met the Executive Director of The Future Project last Saturday, and the woman is awesome on all levels, I mean Obama knows her personally. How cool is that huh?!.. I mean she was so freaking cool, and I confirmed my life purpose there and then as we sat at the volunteers meeting… I plan to live the Donald Trump and Adebola Williams life someday, but sometimes it seems like nothing but a Mirage, but shout out to Ms Mfon Ekpo of TFP and Clara who keep encouraging me to be better cause I can be better. Aswear Clara is madantin awesome, have you been to her Blog! Its frosh like that aswea , plus her an Ausserehl are twins in my eyes.. :D So how many of us are experiencing this STUPID Lagos traffic?! Plus the fervent end of the world Lagos heat that can boil Rice faster than gas cooker?! Mehn the world is officially coming to an end oh! and I have to repent from my woman wrapper ways sharpaly.. well the Wahala I got into on Instagram yesterday has changed me for life, and I am on my way to becoming a Pastor… Dear bautiful Tomi and  1 + THE ONE,  **Singing I am coming home, I am coming home Bubbas, I think its about time #Sincerely


So last week Monday I was opportuned to be driven in the BOOT of a Cherokee jeep. Yep! The Trunk of a car (lemme speak phoneh that I don’t know). Well this my coy have an interesting set of drivers who know how to do abracadabra.. And any time they dont want to take a staff to the airport or on the close of Business drop off, they will just goan comean something shhaaa to the vehicle.. So that was how last Monday they did their DEX magic, and bam! The staff bus didn’t work, so we had to attaché with the Jeep. As the sacrificial mumu lamb that I am nah and having that I wasn’t ready to trek from V.I to Festac, plus I didnt feel like jumping bus, I had to stay in the boot of the car, and that was the day that Adeola Odeku decided to Padlock. mchheewww.. Smh fuck my life :'( my god I was sweating like a Christmas fish in there and I just kept hearing ewo! Duru! sorry oh! We will soon be out and all! I pray oh! I was in Adeola Odeku's traffic for 2 hours… it was mad! This year ehn, I promise to either go back to school or buy my iVtec, biko I did not come to this life to be entering boot up and down. **Crying in French.

Funny thing yeah, is that the inspiration for this post came while I sat in the Boot of that brown staff Cherokee Jeep. Now luckily for me the glasses were tinted so no girl I will toast in the future saw me in the boot, but as I looked across the road in the traffic, I saw a child in my Dream car (a Honda iVtec) and it had me thinking... Now the kicker was she looked so unhappy, looked like she was close to tears, looked like she was lacking something.. I mean she was in a freaking iVTEC nah, her life was supposed to be perfect by default, as if me I have an iVTEC ehn, I will not even care for food, I will just be fasting day and night, DRY FASTING OH!!! and licking my car with my tongue for satisfaction. But looking back at that child made me realize  that it is never enough...


That child made me reminisce, at least that helped me endure the pain am heat i was going through...At a time in my Young and confused life yeah, I had everything I wanted. I mean I was one of the coolest kids in secondary school cause I had Playstationssss (not 1, I had all 3 of them then) I had cool phones, I ate out almost every evening, I had everything  a child could ask for, had spinners belts and all..  I mean I lived like the Tinubu’s son then, but even as at that, just like that child in the iVTEC last monday, I wasnt happy cause I felt I lacked something, like there was a hole in my heart, a thirst that couldn’t be satisfied by all the ghen ghen things we had.. I mean then I was 15, and I had 3 girls in my life who were tripping at once oh … But there was a problem…  there was a hole in my heart… And people just kept walking outta my life. The comfort just wasn’t enough.

Now at the age of 23, with all the money I am seeing in my dream day and night and hoping to have before I am 25, I still feel incomplete, as it still doesn’t feel enough… and then it hit me this morning that that’s life.. We chase things that we will never have, we love people who don’t love us back, we do Gulder ultimate search day and night, stupidly looking for something which is in turn staring us right in the face, and we think (as in my case) that financial freedom or sex or Alcohol or drugs will fix it… Truth is life through my eyes is a bloody confusion, but I am learning that all in all yeah, it will never be enough, as the more money we will get, the more we will crave for. The more sex we indulge in, the more TROUBLE we get in, and the more we will crave for. The more educational success we get, the more we will crave for.. So this morning great young minds, I beg you to stop searching for happiness for a second and choose to be happy. Do not wait for a child, or a fiancée, or a job, or money, or a certificate to be happy, be happy now and here and live your life with passion.  I mean I aint no Nostradamus like Barr. Duru oh, but I am sure that your Aura of joy will somehow attract that which you want. Kindly Permit me to close by telling you something you already know gang.. Don’t look at your now and what you don’t have, but rather count the things you DO have and be grateful for them, cause just as my Blog mother says, “a heart if gratitude opens doors of opportunities”. D’Banjsaid something on Instagram yesterday.. and it went:

“ The happiest people are not the thankful ones, but it is the Thankful ones that are the happiest people”

So this morning great Young mind I Implore you, No! I beg you to stop chasing an activity or a status of life with hopes of it making you happy, but rather start living your life daily.. cause in all sincerity yeah, we don’t know how long we have got, so dance like no one is watching, cause it will never be enough.

Thank you for the past 7 minutes of your time great young minds, my prayer for you is that going into this new week yeah, you will not shoot yourself in the leg, and not goan comean jam pole when you are admiring a fine boy or girl, cause on the long run yeah, people are not what they seem, #AllnaWash.

P.S: I am guessing everybody knows Toinlicious ba?! Now Toin is one of my Blog idols and why is simple.. She has my back all time every time.. I screw up, I tell Toin, no matter what I do, and I mean No matter!! She never judges me, but she slaps me with her right hand, and pets me with her left. Toin is Amazing aswear. Cc T-Notes.. Thank you for being in my life Toin, I know my shenanigans are rising at an astronomical rate now, but Ribena and Sophie are helping checkmate it, I might be a better man soon. :(


P.P.S: Dear Morayo, you and Sussanne are like the mirror of my life as regards The Young and Confused Blog.. I am soooo sorry I screwed up yesterday. I know i fucked up big time.. I am sorry. Please just give me a second chance and let the pains of yesterday stay in yesterday, cause like Sophie said.. Yesterday is Past, Today is present, tomorrow is future.



Valentine Special !!! Valentine Special!!  Valentine Special … 

Our Blogger toh Sure Anu is doing this really beautiful valentine Handpack, and I think she does delivery services too anywhere in Nigeria.. So if you are interested, please book one for your **Clears throat Future S/O plus any one that means a lot to you.. Its really packed, pretty, cheap and it comes with Flowers… Click on her name for more ghen ghen Info.Cc. Mr Mamman Cc. Buiti.. **shines teeth.

So I wanted to hang out with 3 members of the YnC gang and noboRy and I mean noboRy indicated interest ba?! Choi! My heart e haf break.. **In Wajildas Voice.. Ye my Chest… Its official I am breaking up with all of you…**Wears straight face.. **In 9ce’s voice.. Chei! My personality no matter at all.. **Shines teeth… Diarisgodooo.. Anyhow sha, we at YnC shall be doing something come February the 14th, but top of the list which I am most excited about is I shall be writing about "Love" and the crowd goes uuuuggghhh... on the awesome Sophie’s Blog.. Sophie is  one of the Girls I am tripping for like mad now, I mean after Ribena and Peace Itimi ,Sophie is my next most admired Human being in the world.. Well after Dr. Duru and Ayo Thompson shaa… So the Plan for Val is I will be writing on her Blog, and she will be writing on mine.. If you can fam, show us some support, cause you are why we write. Her URL is www.sophsinspirations.blogspot.com. She is a very DORO writer oh, and if you think you are good at writing.. hehehehe You haven’t met Sophie toh sure yet.

So that’s it Fam, from all of us on this side of the screen, to you on the other side **Tongue out, we say. Oooosssshey! Turn down for what?! Federal Government couldn’t Dull our valentine for us.. I am so Turning up come Saturday, so if there is a parry and its in Lagos.. 'H'abeg! Halla me.. Oh mehn! I forgot.. I am on a repenting journey.. Well I will repent one step at a time.. lets start with Watsap..

Cheers Fam.



#Udo #ItcanonlybeGOD

Monday, 2 February 2015

#NoPressure



Smmmoooking… Somebory stop me! **takes off wrist watch..  Turn up Turn up Ladies and Gentlemen, what gwan Fam? Whats the frigging 411 gang?! Mehn as you see me so ehn.. Lemme not lie, I have absolutely no idea what this post is gonna really be about like this.. Dear heavens I look up to you, biko take the wheel, and the keyboard too.. :) I cant  drive this keke on my own.. In C.P.C’s voice.. Lets do this! So how was your weekend gang? Hope you guys turned up oh!, mehn mine was all shades of everything.. NO! more like my woes and fun started on Thursday… Okay first off, #NoPressure oh, but I have a kind Question for us gang… Please should we pray on stolen meat?! I mean my father has come back home, so my BIAFRAN cooking has resumed **grumbles.. Mehn you need to see me adding pepper with caution now adays oh.. heheheh Its serious like that oh! I cant fit shout :p. So last Saturday ehn, I wanted to steal meat, NO! I meant Meatsss, while I was I was cooking, and I subconsciously prayed on all the 4 pieces of meat I stole.. I hope I will not go to hell fire for that oh! Cause I hear the Air-conditioning in Hell e haf spoil, so Dear heavens.. Please sneak my name into that book of life somehow biko.. I know I aint worthy yeah, but we can work out something nah, I am Igbo like that. #NoPressure.

Last Saturday was Jildas Birthday, and damn it was hard for me not to reach out to her via Call, Text or Instagram.. Luckily for me there was plenty Alcohol in my house that day, so much that you would think Dr. Duru was getting married.. Dad, Big Bro and I just kept drinking and Drinking and drinking… at a time they had to hide the palm wine so i wouldnt finish it, and then Bam! Orijin came to my rescue :). The thing is I really miss Wajilda, but you see today we cross the threshold state, hence it is ssooo over, as once I can withstand my confused  sef from reaching out to my past for up to 1 month, then I survived.. but gang it wasn’t easy oh! When we were together yeah, I had planned **Dear Onyilola, please pass me a handkerchief.. this is a mushy time for me. **Sniff sniff **cleans watery eyes.. **blows nose.. When we were together yeah, I had planned to buy her 4 sets of Mac lipstick… **Cleans eyes, and holds chest out of heart break effect.. But having that we aren’t together, I am pleased to inform y'all that my EGO! is in my account and I am good, I bought a Plasma for my room instead sef.. It actually took the effort of the wonderful Erniesha not to reel my baby back in, and when I told Toyon Alsina at around 10 pm that I stayed away, she helped me stay sane also… Ehen! shey you guys know Raleeyat ba?! my YnC geh friend **Winks.. Chei! That geh has my Mushy mushy remote control sef, not only button biko... hehehe I intentionally stayed away from that her cause she has this convincing power over me, and if she says JdB jump from 3rd mainland Bridge I might do it Sharp sharp.. Wait! did you guys here of that guy that just parked his car on the 3rd mainland bridge, came out of it, and just jumped over the Bridge.. I think it happened last week. Mehn that was sad.. May his soul R.I.P.. I still don’t get why Suicide oh! I once taught about doing it, but then one of my mentors said to me when i confided in him that;

“Fun times of life far outweigh the bad times, so why chicken out on life (Paraphrased)”

…Plus how can I leave all these fine gehs, and Technology, and Alcohol  in this world and commit suicide?! God Forbid.. Abeg #NoPressure jo.

So I told Ribena how I felt about her on Sunday morning after I was sure I had gotten over Jilda, and the Alcohol had cleared from my eyes…  **Sits down properly on Jangolova Chair. You see that Ribena is amazingly beautiful. Mannie, Ice, Oga Boss T-notes, and Alphasoar, with all due respects chief of staffs, have you brovers ever met a lady that’s seems like she fell out of your dreams?! My! That’s how Ribena makes me feel.. She is AMAZING.. Aswear words just fail me to describe her. But the truth is I dunno if she wants me, plus she isn’t based in Lagos, as she works for one gehn gehn Multinational at Abuja. Me I know I am ready oh (i mean i was born ready for woman nah ;), more like I think.. but **In Falz the Bad guys voice.. I want the next bae that I will be like Ello Bae to, to want me as much as I do her... There's a conflict in my head if to or not to be with her.. But mehn If she says Yes.. I will officially resign from being... NO! resign ke?! Am I mad? I meant I will officially go on TEMPORAL LEAVE from being a woman wrapper… Ribena is Beautiful, awesome, amazing, Smart, Young, richer than me.. **Crying in French and has Class like Osas Ighodaro… I mean Dear heavens, please let my future wife be like her Osas.. Plus Ribena laughs a lot like Toin… **In Mzz Sykiks voice.. Oh! My Days gang, I think I am in lof nwantitin for real this time. Oh mehn! I forgot #NoPressure.

I have an issue with a very mean human being who will not let me go.. he has had me in tears, had me mocked, had me feel like I wasn’t good enough and it fucking hurts, so I have one last dance with him in some days, and I will let go and ask the heavens and the spirit of my Grand parents,  plus ask my mother to fight for me. Why are people so wicked… He derives joy in seeing me not advance with my life, but oh Well! Fuck it! mehn.. Man isn’t GOD so why beg him further. Did you guys hear Esther Koko is now a celebrity?! Well she is working with one ghen ghen Nigerian International Act, so get ready to start seeing our very own Esther koko on BellaNaija, YNaija and Ovation. Ehennn.. Yo! fam, I got this really big professional deal last week.. It’s stakes in a Telecommunication coy, and it means I will be very rich soon insha Allah. So turn up Turn up ladies and Gentlemen, my 25th Birthday parry will be awesome.. I also got a new job for a ghen ghen pay last month, but I wont be switching… I had this very long shout! Talk :) with Barr. Duru, and regardless that he got me really furious, that man is right.. Sometimes he scares the hell outta me how he is always right, like he is Nostradamus or something.. Anyways Money will come so #NoPressure..

Someone very close to me is currently in Nigeria, and I really want to see her. I mean if I do yeah, I will have that “Moses went to the mountain to talk to GOD” kinda feeling.. Mehn its gonna be awesome. But the truth is dunno if she wants to see me, so #NoPressure. I mean I am a big nut case, so sitting with me and accepting my shenanigans for even as small as 30 minutes earns any lady a Grammy sef.. Yeah that reminds me, You guys ehn… The 15 for 15 challenge this year is TOUGH! **cleans sweat.. Chisos! I never hexsperred it… Mehn those guys are breathing fire and their themes are madantin! Hehehe I fear that I have already been dethroned sef! NopE!! **Hits chest. A bum Obereagu.. I cannot fit to fear.. For he that is in me is the same as he that is in all of them, so why not if Not?! In the light of being the defending champion.. (my I like saying that) I will like to celebrate our 14 for 14 challenge victory with 3 of the YnC gang.. So if you are willing to meet with me yeah, you can send me an E-mail, or drop your intention to meet with this crazy brover in the comment section. My budget is 10k as I am broke like that oh, so biko, I no fit do pass my power **Wears sad face.. I wish I was Rich like Ausserehl :).

Now this is the kicker paragraph.. I will be going to Abuja soon.. My dad finally approved a ghen ghen thing for me, so I might be going soon. **Whispers the truth is I just wanna go meet with Ribena, Raleeyat and if possible Sophie.. Have you guys met her! Damn of you haven’t been to her blog ehn, you are sleeping on top of okada and that is a sin :).. mehhnn **In Asa’s my cousins voice; Wake up and smell the coffee.. Truth is if Ribena doesnt agree ehn, then I gat my eyes on Sophie **Winks.. Y’all need to read her blog, she is an AMAZING 22 year old child, who writes with so much life and makes you smile wit each line.. Ehen! That reminds me! Happy new month ladies and gentlemen. January was mandantin! And I met and bonded with a lot of great people in January..  Esspecially Sophie.. **Whispers I am tripping for that child big time oh! Its funny yeah, how my head can be on Ribena’s case, and my heart on Sophie.. yep! I am confused like that. So I had 1 blogger that constantly inspired me and kept me smiling in all January, and in my confused head yeah, she is my January blogger of the month is… Soo… **Drum Roll… my January blogger of the month is 

Clara! Of life www.laviedeclarao.blogspot.com

Now I bonded with her on a totally amazing level, and it has been awesome. Also my top 3 posts on Blogsville in January were:



These 3 above posts were mad like that, and i almost stood up and started clapping at my P.C after reading them :). So that’s it gang.. This was a totally unplanned post, and please blame it on Toinlicious… Toin!!! You have taught me how to be writing random posts ba…  I just pray that this post touches someones heart, and makes at least 1 person smile. Ehen! Ms TLG resurrected and went back to heaven for a brisk amount of time last week **Shines teeth.. I love that lady like Kilode as she is hilarious. I just kept smiling like a fish as i read her comment on my mobile.

Testimony Time: Ppprrrraaaaiiiisssseee tha Lawd somebory! **In My Igbo Accent! Umu Chineke Eh! So Toin finally changed her Watsapp profile picture.. I mean that’s a big Deal.. I and T-Notes have been toasting Toin for well over 6 months and she had 1 winchie-wichie teddy bear as her Display picshur all the while.. Y’all know Toin is anonymous right?! Mehn Y’all need to see Toins face, she is Beautiful Aswear.. I mean Agbani Darego has nothing on her, and the only person close to fine as Toin is Ribena and Ayo.. **Tongue out at Toin.. lmao.. It’s a lie jari.. Toin is not fine like that biko… **runs away.

Thank you for the past 7 minutes of your time great young mind, you guys do me a great honor with it! Dear Brovers, has a geh you are toasting ever told you that You must be very stupid?!  Heheheh SMH for myself.. I said something utterly stupid and I mean STUPID to a lady on watsapp last Friday, a lady i was trying to woo oh! and she said that to me. When she said it yeah, I just started laughing like a cow :). DO have an amazing week fam, and my prayer for you is that this week, GOD will give you series of reasons to DANCE LIKE NO ONE IS WATCHING..

P.S: Did you guys here of the #DBanjat10 hash tag on Instagram.. He said Twerk, ordinary Twerk oh! and some ladies were dancing Atilogo.. Mcheeeww… smh. Cheers fam. OOossshhhheeey!

Oya lemme copy Janyl:

Instagram-Youngandconfused_byjdb
Twitter- Young&confused_byjdb
Account-Number: 7300978310
ATM-Pin:1991.



#Udo #ItcanonlybeGOD