Monday, 16 February 2015

#MyBachelorsDiary_Letter of Resignation :(



**walks in singing… This isn’t goodbye, even as I watch you leave.... this isn’t god byeeeeee…  aswear I wont cry, even as tears fill my eyes…  aswear I won’t cryyyyyy.. **cleans lone tear.. Okay Cutt!!! Ladies and gentlemen of the #YnCGang, this is supposed to be a very emotional and “gimme a handkerchief” kinda mushy mushy resignation post..  as I feel so sad to leave.. Bet before I resign, lemme first play small nah **Winks.. Sooo…. Turn up Turn up Ladies and gentlemen **In Sophies Voice.. What Gwaning?! How was the mushy Mushy Valentine’s day celebration?! Hope beds were rocked?! Roses were shared?! Proposals were made?! French kisses were made?!  **Winks @ Mzz Sykik, Moby and Ausserehl..   Hope yall had madt fun oh!!! and that was how some people went to flex and forgot about me Cc  Mother..  Please did anybory help me and see my Egbon Toinlicious?! Just in case anyone did ehn, please kindly help me tell her that **In Wajildas voice… it is over between me and her, inshort we are quarreling! Aha nah! What Hapin ni?! She just did me appear-disappear like a Rainterghost on vals day and didnt even send me a text all through.. **crying in French.. Egbon thats not fairrrr…  Aswear Egbon ko da rara oh! You just left me in the cold! did is say Cold.. No!! I mean in the Lagos heat just like that.. So you turned up with Oga boss and forgot about me ba?! Issorait, my god will judge you you will see.. **In my 7 year old voice, I will not play with thee again.  So how was your Vals celebration gang.. **Clears throat.. Some people were Anti-Love Nwantinin oh! And were saying on Instagram that they would rather be voting.. Cc the beautiful and awesome Esther Koko.

So the beautiful delectable and wonderful plus BEAUTIFUL again Sophie and I would like to say a ghen ghen Thank you to you wonderful people for turning up for our wedding  :P Valentine’s day post **Whispers.. Kai I like that child ehnn iTrip.. She is amazing aswear and she is wife material 20 yaards :) …  it meant a lot to us, and we just kept chatting about it on Vals day.. Your comments were wonderful.. Sophie is really smart ba?! Sheybe I told y’all she was, and you were busy calling me Drycleaner up and down :(?! Please in case you missed the Love to be loved post, kindly see the wonderful Sophies Post here and my craze man confused post here..  Okay.. my valentine’s day was confusing.. First off there was no power all Saturday and no power in crazy Festac means no water, and no water means you are officially (pardon my terms, but its true) fucked up :(. So I had to spend the better part of the day trying to figure out my life, and Voala..  the god of cupid then thought it wise to shoot an arrow at my confused heart..  and I chose to surprise Ribena with a box of chocolates, a Rose flower and some cards. Sheybe i tried small nah #feelingLikeAHelplessromantic.. And when I was handicapped the delectable Raleeyat  came to my rescue **Shines teeth..  Later at night, Ribena called me on the phone and was just awwwwing and awwwwing all through.. That lady is such a sweet heart ehn.. Y’all need to meet her.. **Whispers Insha Allah, I am counting down to the Abuja trip.. I plan to shock her like Nepa wire.
Oya back to my resignation. **enters sad mood back.


Ref: Ync/WWIA/162142015

The Young and Confused Blog.
Somewhere in Festac Town,
Lagos,
Nigeria.
P.O Box 1991_11
16th February 2015.

The General Overseer.
Woman Wrapper Association International.
African Branch
South Africa (the capital of flexing **Winks)
P.O Box 419

Cc. The Grand commander Lagos Branch.


Dear Your Royal highness of the woman wrapper kingdom.

Letter of Resignation

I Duru John de Beloved a perpetual woman wrapper duly inducted under the decree “Pursue woman till you die” under section 1211 subsection 91 write  this letter of resignation from my woman wrapper status.. I will like to inform you that the wahala that has come (especially Watsapp wahala) to me because of pursuing woman like ant pursuing sugar has been detrimental to my dreams of hitting Naira 10M before I  am 25, and getting married before I am 27, and to this reason I think I wanna resign jari.. **I haf tire. and the high blood pressure that comes with chasing women is becoming too much for my small heart as Egbon Clara always says, plus my eyes have seen shege shege, kai! Before I do so sha, I would like to reminisce on the good the bad and the ugly side of our journey thus far.

Do you remember June 2009, I think I was 18 then.. When we met that child that was very very very very very beautiful on FACEBOOK, that had long flowing hair on FACEBOOK, that had a Agbani Darego smile to die for on FACEBOOK, that I knew for sure she was the one all on FACEBOOK  as there she looked like an angel that fell from the sky… Mehn remember how she was everything I wanted and some more back then sir?! But remember the surprise we had when we met her in real life with no long Hair, not a very very very very very fine face, and to realize the Agbani smile was camera induced.. I Remember meeting her later on to realize that all the Facebook package na wash, and all the long flowing hair was Attchee! My I cried, and It broke me baje baje.. I remember how I you went to bed later that night and saw her pursuing me in my dream with broom like APC people :( and how i called off the toasting immediately i woke up. Well I guess it was the fear of dating a “Facebook fine geh that caused that nightmare.

Do you remember that Babe we went to Crunchies Ikenegbu Owerri with?! The one we met on ABC bus in 2010, The FUTO one that was all mushied up and lovey dovey cuddly touching bory on the bus with me?  The girl you were forming motivational speaker and Fela Durotoye for? Well I finally went out with her. Remember how I told you that all I had was Naira 1000 in my wallet on that date, and how I used it to buy her Sausage and Fanta (Glass Bottle not plastic oh).. Kai I remember how she sized me from head to Toe as we spoke and looked at the Pam sandal I borrowed… Kai! I Remember how she said I will call you once I get back to FUTO, but that was story for the gods, as till now she never even flash me sef **crying in Spanish.. I wish she knew how I cleaned my room hoping that I would bring her back there to get some ghen ghen action, I wish she knew how I had discharged all my neighbors so nobody would come knock on the door when the room would be turned to a choir ground.. Smh I wish she knew where I was going and what I would become, she would have not despised humble beginnings. It i well.

But how can I forget the good… How can I forget Wajilda the child that made me smile everyday, the child that looked up to me, that believed in me, that never asked me for anything than for me to be me, and to be the best me I could be for us two. How can I forget to state about a child that I really loved with an anticipation to get married to regardless that marriage was still in 4 years time… How can I forget how we would quarrel at night and the next day she would call me saying “even though I am still mad at you ehn, I just wanna know how you are and be sure you are not dead yet”… How I miss her.

In the light of the above, I write to inform you that I tender this Resignation not cause I am tired of chasing women I mean thats impossible as my blood dey boil, but cause I want something better for the woman I am currently chasing, I want to be fully owned by Ribena and be hers to make or break, I want to Love her and be loved by her fully.. I want her to be who I speak to before I sleep and when I wake up, I want her Picture to be my display picture on Instagram, Facebook, BBM (that I hate), Watsapp, and even LinkedIn sef, I want her to know that I am all hers and nobody elses.


In the light of the above, please accept my resignation but as per FIDIC, kindly note that client reserves the right to claim for any cost incurred due to demobilization from these locations and re-mobilization at a later time to do these works (sorry gang, I had to add that, na our office style of saying to the client; “You gonna pay sucker’”). 

Do be assured of our highest consideration,


With Highest Regards,

Duru John de Beloved.

Monday Bants:


Buiti! Please has anybory met this child?! She is Beautiful.. Choi! Seeing Buiti's picture alone makes me wanna commit fornication  and the sin of Lookery with my eyes.. She is smart, outstandingly witty and has a heart of a mother as each time she comes  to the YnC blog yeah, she never fails to ask how I am, and that always touches my soul…  Having that she is a blogger, her fan base no be here oH! I am sure that her page views are almost a million sef.. Ehen! Did you guys know that my Mama has almost 2 Million page views.. **dies and wakes up! Chisos! 2 million! Will I ever get that much before I resign from blogging.. Oya ngwa ngwa Nonso, lerrus work harder to become like mama.

Ice: Now Ice is my brother, my friend and my day 1 Nigga.. who always has my back and never fails to support me.. Although he likes to follow me to drag woman sha **Tongue out, one thing I sincerely love about Ice is the fact that he is a true brother to the core and obviously one of the true friends I will have here on Blogsville.. I mean he and Mannie always have my back like Kilode, and it touches my heart to see brothers support one another and have each others back at times of Gobe.. Thanks Bruvs! Ice is a fashion blogger that has an immense style, plus his game is sooo on point! Twale baba

Ralleyat! Lemme just say that Raleeyat owns my heart today and always  and there is nothing that child will ask for that I will not do.. Even if she says JdB toast a mad person, I will! okay #naPlayoH! Raleeyat is loving, beautiful, amazing in every sense of the word, and she makes me smile with every chat.. Plus her voice can tempt me for Africa ssshhhhaa… Chisos.. She helped me Play Romeo last weekend and to that i say Thank you Bubba, i wont forget it in a hurry. If you are reading this baby mi, I just want you to know that my heart is a place that you will never leave, and I love you to the ends of the earth and back.. After toasting you like this, please comment oh heheheh **Blows french Kiss your way... **In Lagbajas voice.. Where ever You are Parara(blowing trumpet).. wherever you be parara baby baby babe you never far awayyyyy….  you are always on my mind.

Thank you for the past 7 minutes of your time great Young mind, you are why we write and the only reason why we hope to inspire… My prayer for you is that this week shall give you series of reasons to sing… **In Korede Belo’s Voice… I don get Alert #GODWIN and the crowd goes Ooooosssseeeehy!.. Kai Korede has all the girls on Instagram drooling for him oh! I think I need to resign from this power coy and start singing. **Wears Mr. Nigeria smile… Cheers.


#Udo #ItcanonlybeGOD

34 comments:

  1. Okay I hate that Godwin song....
    *wears my reading glasses to observe your resignation*
    I wee come for you later

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    1. I thought it was just me who hated the song *High five*

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    2. You hate what?! #GODWIN is like the coolest song in Nigeria now nah! Bia woman.. Don leRRus fight oh! aha nah! **In Ribena's voice.... Oya say you like it now!! Say it... Say it... **Wears Mr. Nigeris smile.. Okay Bubba, thanks for coming over and for dropping this ghen ghen kind comment, you never fail to make me smile Esther koko... Oooosssshhheeey! Bia Eden.. You sef hate GODWIN.. nawa oh! **In the words of Fuji house of comotion... Mabegifuen oh! We shall fight oh! :)

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  2. Ehen ehehn duru! Lemme give you a hug! Now I knew womanizing was a job, I just knew it, and it feels so Good to have someone confirm it. A job that doesn't pay! Olorun maje. But am glad you resigned! Case closed. Your love life has just entered the awesome phase. And the girl you are currently chasing oh well am sure she is all shades of awesome, how come I feel like I know who she is? Your resignation has been officially accepted, in othere news there is no pension,compensation oh.

    Enjoy Your week darling.

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    1. hahahahahhahahahahahahahahahah Susan oh!! iPray ooo... There is no way on earth that you can know who she is nah... **Winks.. Thanks Bubba, i guess at a time yeah, a man gats to be a man and let go of his childish ways.. Bet wait oh!!! **Scratches head.. This letter does not mean that I have resigned COMPLETELY oh! I mean Life without pursuing woman would be painful nah **Wears Mr. Nigeria Smile.. The letter simply means i am taking a break... **Winks.. :) Cheers baby mi, it always feels uber great to read from you Susan, as you are one of my strongest whys! And to that the crowd goess... yyyyeeeeaaahh Mehn. :) xx

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    2. Lol@ Buitis photos make you want to commit the son of fornication- she fine no be small (no homo)

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  3. Giving up womanising? You? I need to run to church and book thanksgiving services sef. Duru watagwan?

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    1. hahahahahahahhahahhahahahahahah Ahan nah! Otunne, Am i that bad?! Choi!!! My Life... Lmao... I dey oh baby mi, kilon pop?! Kai it have tey oh!! I will call you once they pay me salary.. **Pinky swear,.... Thanks for this comment Ada, it has me smiling like a fish.. Ooosssshhhheeey!

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  4. Hmn, I'm eyeing that resignation sha but lerrus see how it goes :D

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    1. hehehehehehe Is it not you that caused me to resign Toin?! After all ya Preaching.. **Crying in French..Mehn Egbon That wahala had me think deepp, and i thought it wise to just chill a bit... P.S: I attempted to scatter your morning by calling you 20 minutes ago.. **Tongue out.. I pray it worked though! Cheers Egbon, you are like a Coconut, you are a blessing in disguise... and teh crowd goes... Oooosssshhhhyeeey! xx

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  5. Replies
    1. Yo! Yo! Yo!!!! My Agbani is back in the building ladies and Gentlemen... Thanks baby mi, i really really really do appreciate this comment toh sure, it means a lot and some more to me Bubba, you have no Idea... :)

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  6. Can a king give up his throne? Just like peak Duru, its in you. Lol. You too like woman.

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    1. hahahahahahhahahahahahahahah @ Its in you! Chisos! A nefer Hexsperred this fa!! In me ke! hahahahahahah Kai Lily has me in stitches this morning.. Thanks for dropping by Bubba, this comment has me laughing like a hyena.. You Rock Baby mi, aswear.. And the crowd goes.. Turn Down for what?! hehehehe Oya chop Hug.. :)

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  7. Hello papi....guess who's back???? Turn up papi...I know you missed me...I missed u too.... Dude u need to come and gimme gist o.... But Duru u need to calm down on this woman wrapper things o....its new year o dude...hahahaha.... anyhow I still love u sha...chop kiss abeg

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    1. Shhheheeeeeeeesssssss bbbbbbbaaaaaaacccccckkk... File ah Dont touch it! Moby toh sure, Moby toh Set, Moby toh Fine Baje baje.. Mobi ton gbonofelifeli... I am uber thrilled that we can come have madantin fun on your Blog as usual.. Mehn Baby mi, yes oh! and i am seriously contemplating getting married sef **Winks A GUY HAS GOTTA DO WHAT A GUY HAS GOTTA DO NONI.... Thanks for coming by Bubba, it feels good to know that Moby toh sure is back in the game like she never left We love you much Bubba.. and the crowd goes... Yyyyeeeaaahhh Mehn!

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  8. Chai thank God, I will have all the women to my self... Shines teeth.

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    1. hahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahaha You are just a chicken Ice.. lmao!

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  9. awwwwwwwl my daiiiiiiiiiiiiiis! You mean to say you brother Duru, the original woman wrapper and all round MPV for women's matter has given up your post?!?! In the words of a certin Adolf, I nefa hexperred it! This Ribena must be ghen ghen o. Chai, see love! Sha me I'm waiting for gist as per your egbon and resident gbeborun ;)

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    1. hehehehehehehhehehehe Egbon you have me smiling like a fish! Haba! You people have made me seem like a Casanova! i just like women dasaalll nah **Covers face.. Yes oh! Egbon, i had to jari.. at a time, a guy gats to straighten his life... About the gist... Yels ke... if i dont give my own Clara the full details, then who will?! Amma let you know once you are set... **Wears Puppy face.. Funny thing is ehn, i aint sure if the babe will agree to date me yet sef, but amma just try my luck **Winks Thanks for coming by Egbon, you are the original MVP.. :)

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  10. Niccar, you and I know that womanizing has been embedded in ur blood. Your blood can't turn black all of a sudden. Its in you. :p.

















    #Mannie

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    1. hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahaha Mmmmyyyyyyyyyyy Nigga... hehehehehehe Maani be always cracking me up! all tim eeverytime... Bro amma bet you 10 grand that I will stay the next 4 months NO! 4 is too much biko **SHines teeth.. the next 1 month without chasing woman.. Deal?!

      Thanks for the strong support after all the ghen ghen that has happened mehn, you are a real die hard brother, and i no go forget you mehn... aswear.

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  11. Hmmm.
    I really wanna believe this resignation letter but something in me keeps saying '#donbelieveitwomanwrappingisinhisblood'.
    What to do?
    Believe or not to believe?
    Hmmm! Thinking hard.

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    1. hahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahah Dont you just Love Funmi?! Her Originality is next to none aswear.. Berra believe Baby mi, cause i am done for.... Okay! Not done for good sha.. But i am done for now.. **Wears Cheeky smile... I just need to focus my energy on 1 and see how it turns out.. :) Thanks for coming by Bubba, its always MEGA fun to read your witty comments... and the crowd goes oooosssshhhheeey! Cheers Bubba, i love you Baje baje.. P.S: I should call you oh! But i dont have plenRy credit.. Will call you once they pay me salary.. xx

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  12. Handsome this took me 15mins not 7mins! but its all good. Thank God for this resigning thing, i needed to read that. That was so thoughtful and romantic of you for surprising Ribena with val's gift. It's been a while mehhnn! and I still owe you a call, anyway, hope you are good?

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    1. hehehehehehe You have come oh! Engr. Chioma e haf come... Why is that Engr's are so cautious of numbers?! Ehn.. Why?! lmao! I just knew if anyone would time it yeah, it would be you.. Well Baby mi Biko, just use your church mind and accept that it is 7 minutes.. **Shines teeth... Yes oh Baby mi, you owe me more than a call sef, you owe me Dinner.. You know a ghen ghen candle lit dinner, with roses, and a bath tub, and champagne and only us 2 and slow music.. and... Oya wait!!!! Nonso, dont get ahead of yaself.. hehehehe yep! You owe me a call **Wears Mr. Nigeria smile.. Thanks for coming by Bubba, i appreciate the love and support you show to this utterly 23 years 3 months 7 days old confused man.. You are the real MVP bae... Osssshhheeey!

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  13. HAHHAHHA this letter no be here oo... I can't stop laughing.
    I am happy for you.
    You really free spirited and if people don't understand you they might get the wrong idea.
    As usual how are you?lol
    fashionitazbybuiti.blogspot.com

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    1. Turn up Turn up ladies and Gentlemen... You see what I was talking about.,.. You wee what I was teling y'all about?! You see how calm and Motherly the amazing Buiti is?! Kai iTrip for this child like kilode.. **Shines teeth i am well oh baby mi, thanks for the kind words.. You are successfully making me blush like an Onion... lmao! Thanks for coming by Baby mi, I am loving you more and more daily.. and the crowd gooess... Ooooooooouuuuuuuuuu! **Wears Mr Nigeria smile... **In the amazing Moby's voice... Oya chop kisses...

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  14. *side eye-ing* the resignation letter....
    I'm sorry I couldn't pull thru for you :'(
    See how I missed a ghen ghen amebo opportunity?
    I'm sad.

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    1. hehehehehehehehehehehehehehe Vira and her idiosyncrasies... always cracking us up... :D Haba nah baby mi, no wahala nah,. you and I are good peoples all time everytime nah, i know you can sacrifice an arm for me... Jump in front of a Keke for me... And even join Boko Haram for me sef.. **Winks,... Thanks for stopping by Bubba, and my! am i glad and thankful to GOD that you are better now.. as Its always ghen ghen to read from our Vira toh sure baje baje.. Please dont go nowhere again biko.. i beg you in the name of Globacom.. :) How is Fxafa?! Turn down for what?! With Vira yeah, there is only reason to Turn Up with joy.. and the crowd goes... Yyyeeeeaaaahhh mehn!

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  16. eeeewwwwwoooooo, see what Ribena has caused......* in Obasanjo's voice* , "I dey watch oh".....

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  17. Hmmm adonbiliveet anyway na siddon look we dey. Something must give.

    Hiya hun how you been?

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  18. Hmmm adonbiliveet anyway na siddon look we dey. Something must give.

    Hiya hun how you been?

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