Monday, 30 March 2015

Mirror Post... #Anticipate #ThePROPOSAL...

**Comes in Bumping head like Lizard.. **Singing Turn down for what?! Turn down for what?! Oshey Turn Up… **takes off confused Bracelets.. ** takes off the same wrist watch I have been wearing since 2014 courtesy Dr. Duru… hheheheh Turn up Turn up ladies and gentlemen.. What gwan gang?! Whats the freaking 411 people?! **Touches freshly cut but rush rush MoHawk to look sharp ***Shines teeth..  Elenkemeghani ndi Oma..(goggle is our friend.. I think it means Whats going on good people, I am not too sure, my Igbo is Cut and Join biko)?! So I am pleased to inform you that the world did not end on March the 28th, neither did they fight war in my beloved Nigeria.. and that PDP is winning.. Tongue out to Ndi APC.. But as precautionary practice and having that me I cannot come and go and die for another person be it A.P.C, K.O.W.A parry or P.D.P, I stocked my USB’s (notice the Plural :) ) with movies and stayed in my Room all Saturday.. If noRRin changed in Nigeria, at Least PHCN gave Festac power that day. **Singing he is a miracle working god… There is hope in Nigeria.... Mbok Has any bory seen Lucy the Movie?! That movie is 419.. Asin arrant Rabbish!!  Mcheeewww.. Scarlet Johanssen just wasted 2 hours of my life.. its like 300 part 2.. The thriller sweet pass the movie.. **crying in French..

So gang this isn’t a real post but more like a Mirror Post.. Now the koko of the koks is that due to my love for Mondays, I have decided to take a step of faith and get Hitched today ** and the crowd goess.. Ooosssshhheey.. hehehe So #ThePROPOSAL story will be up on the blog tomorrow.. **Drops on Knees like Erniesha.. I beg you in the name of Cowbell chocolate. Not Ordinary Cowbell oh.. The chocolate one… Please come on the blog tomorrow and share our happiness.. **Shines teeth.. Insha Allah it shall be fun..

So who was at T-Notes Chatzy parry last Saturday?! My eyes was surprised at what I was reading ohh **Clears throat.. it was madt fun.. while it lasted though… I heard a certain Mr SlayMe97 was having issues with his GLO network and Samsung device Cc Funmi Resse **Winks… Mcheeewww GLO is nAnsense in Festac.. I mean Unless you stand on one toe with your right leg, raise up your hand at angle 47 degrees facing the North-East like DSTV satelite dish, tilt your head back and forth 10 times like Agama lizard, wear a yellow shirt with red stripes, and then put your left leg on a yellow wall and lie down facing the ceiling ehn, you will not get 3G network on ya device.. They will be giving you Edge.. Edge!! can you imagine?! Edge cannot even open mail talkless of Instagram.. Mcheew... Mcheeeww AGAIN.. and Samsung is just a beautiful device with poor network strength issorait.. Dear BeauRiful Mzz Sykik, Cee, Egbontoh sure Toinlicious, JanylBenyl my Mama toh Sure, Clara and Ausseerehl Egbon’s toh Sharp, Morayo, my new geh friend EniKoko and Buiti you have been selected as members of the “buy Duru an iPhone 6” committee.. Kindly register with 20k and pay into Satnbic account 7300380781 not 6+ ordinary 6.. I am not greedy mbok.. I will manage 6.. heheheheheh Growing up yeah, Whenever they selected my Father as a member of ANY commitee, guy man would know it would cost money.. so he would just say “”I wont be around, I am going on Tour”” heheheh he is the source of my love for traveling.

Mbok Vote for Tibs Tells Tales and One + THE ONE also.. pretty please...

About the Nigerian Blog awards.. Mehn the love you guys are showing the Young and Confused Blog is Amazingly crazy… We are humbled and y’all do me a great honor. Peeps are calling and writing us from everywhere on the globe; Sambisa Forest, Obodo America, Imo State, IMSU, my Mirror of Justice Theater Troupe gang.. mehn I cant say Thank you enough.. Plus my Campaign Manager is not doing a bad job atallzzz.. **Tongue out.. Please vote for us fam.. Bet  just know gang that HaSctually yeah, whether we win or not.. geRRing nominated in Category 11 under the Most Humorous blog section is a victory on its own. Bet sha vote mbok. **Whispers Me and Wajilda are geRRin closer again.. hehehheeh In Agbani’s voice You can feel the love lori Instagram… and Also Me and Erniesha are geRRin closer again oh.. at least if I die now yeah, I can die in peace.. knowing i cleared all my fuckups and mistakes first.. These two ladies have hearts of gold mbok.. **and teh crowd goess.. Aawwwwhhh **Wears Puppy mr Nigeria smile…

Please Don’t forget to come by the Young and Confused Blog Tomorrow the 31st of march to read #TheProposal post.. I beg you in the name of Wajilda and Ribena .. hehehe that should work :).. Have you guys met Calabar Girl..  and Nma?! In Sykik’s voice.. Oh My Dayssss… They are both really amazing Bloggers.. and I am loving them like Kilode… You know sey e no dey hard me to love ni... Please vote oh!!!

This is officially my 2nd shortest post Ever! Osssshheeey Turn Up!!! Egbon Toin..  Shey I am geRRin beRRA at writing short posts nah.. **Flees away. Ossheeey Turn up…

With all sincerity of heart **Looks at Esther Koko.. and ICE... Thank you for the past 7 minutes of your time #YnCgang, my prayer is that no borry will put Sand sand in ya garri this week, but you will have series of reasons to dance like no one is watching.. See y’ALL tomorrow IF SHE SAYS YES SHAA.. Ossheey Turn up.

#Udo #itcanonlybeGOD 

Tuesday, 24 March 2015

#5DaysInOwerri_PhotoPost- ..The week that was.

Pre-script.. At about 22:34 GMT+1 lerrus form packaging small **Shines teeth.. The amazing Remarkable awesome Ralleyat called me and said the Young and Confused blog i.e was nominated in the Nigerian Bloggers award in Most Humorous segment… Fam.. Aswear I dunno how that happened oh! Bet #ItcanonlybeGOD.. I dedicate this nomination to you guys #YnCGang.. You guys are my why! The real MVP’s and in all sincerity yeah, I am nothing without you guys.. Thank you guys for everything… Will update y'all gang, after I read through the awards site.. Osssssshhhhhheeeeeyyyy Turn up!. Ngwa Ngwa.. Kindly Click on this link: to vote.. We the confused blog are in the 11th Category.. Abeg use ya Church mind vote oh! **Winks.

**Damn!! my boss just came in.. This post might take a bit :(
**takes off Wrist watch.. **Takes of confused bracelets **Takes off yellow rubber band **shines teeth. Turn up Turn up ladies and gentlemen.. what gwwan gang?! whats the 411?! Mehnn **in 2 face’s voice.. As you see me sooo.. I don suffer oh! kai! Y'all know that I was lekpa before I left this Lagos in search of my future last week Thursday ba?! Well I am pleased to inform you that I am currently close to disappearing.. As in all those places I used to have muscle before ehn, na hole hole full there now.. I am glad to inform you that I am currently… **In Olamides voice.. First of all! APOLOGY-ction.. You see ehn I haf missed yall like kilode, bet this life is hardddd shhhaaaa… Oya The below thread of ghen ghen tales by moonlight is the reason for my absence.. I know some gehs like Onyilola Eniwealth, Sophie and even some married ladies like Lohla windfall **winks will be checking me out in the picshur below.. Bet all I can say is **In Teju baby faces voice.. I am taken.. I am taken... I married to Angel Gabriel's senior younger sistes.. I am takeennn… So Leggoo..
You see... Obinna!! Even the Airplane hears Igbo.. :)
First of all… Pppprrrrrraaaaiiissssee tha lawd sopmebory!? Umuchineke?! Eh!!! I was on my own oh last Wednesday when Fr. Anthony Njoku my Mentor and Rolemodel, plus the man that created "John de Beloved" called me and asked me to be at Owerri 11 AM on Thursday morning to analyse my Future.. Hian.. my people that was how I used all the money.. and I repeat aLllllL!!!! the money in my Fidelity bank account to go and form Toinlicious oh and be entering plane up and down.. I couldn’t even afford Aero-contractors or Arik sef! I enterered an Igbo Kwenu flight called AirPeace ***Shines teeth. My igbo Brothers are growing oh :).. That’s how one Mumu boy was insulting me on Instagram.. Kai I haf the most useless friends ahhhaaaa.. Anyways Plane na plane.. and I sha entered plane.. **Tongue out.. It was not a small thing oh.. If you see the geh that sat next to me ehn.. Chisos.. She was as beauriul as the morning sun.. I almost toasted her sef oh! Bet she was giving me levels.. so I jejely stayed there and was swallowing spit to clear my ear that was blocking per second **crying in spanish. Mehn Gang trust me nah… I was snapping picshur like it was going outta fashion..  Remain small sef ehnnn I for go ask Pilot at the cockpit **”Sir lets take a selfie with the sky”… mehnnn the Air Hostesses were fayyyynnneee... Yall know that Debola Williams is teaching me how to snap picshur nah… My mentor for long that’s him.
I can snappp pichssuuurrrr sha....
So touch down Owerri, I had the meeting as planned and it turned out that the winchie winchie in my village have big plans for me so the meeting was postponed… But in Mzz Anuoluwapo’s voice.. Everything I do na #GODWIN.. So that was how I used my 2 left leg and went to my UBA, withdrew all the money I had there sef and paid for hotel that had AC that was blowing like winter.. My people the cold was too much I had to invite a random lady that thought I had money hehehehe if you see me packaging ehhnn, you sef will believe that I was rich… Did I mention I was sharing my Complementary card like I was sharing church fliers?! I had to Rep where I survive from nah, abi no be so?! Now the plan was to do Touching bory with the geh oh bet apparently, the geh knew me as the famous local champion JdB so she didnt agree to act action film with me and help my cold.. At the end she said she was disappointed in me?! And I was like ehen!! Disappointed ke?! Did they tell you that celebrity local champion blood no dey boil.. Abeg oh! Well she left my Hotel room angrily, and I am not sure I will see her again… I went to hang out with Dear friend of mine later on.. We were in the Legion of Mary togera **Covers face.. Yes nah.. I am a Legionary… **Runs away.. and it was an awesome meeting.. we just kept laughing and reminiscing.. She is really a dear friend, and she is amazingly fun to be with. I could not even try nonsense with this legion of mary geh, if not my slap was sure :(.
Do you see my biceps, Triceps and Quadriceps?! hheheh
So the plan was to be in and out of Owerri on Friday oh, bet as the god of Ajala that is injecting me with my awesome Egbon Clara’s blood will have it yeah, I had to stay 5 days.. Yep 5 days in Owerri.. So I checked out of the hotel on Friday, and since my money e haf finish that time I had nowhere to go.. Shit got real aswear.. I was homeless and broke.. and all the hair on my bory stood like chuku chuku.. And that was how I stupidly entered a bus to Portharcourt.. can you imagine?! I didn’t know where tha Hell I was going oh, bet all I knew was that I wanted to be at Portharcourt that night as I had no more money to lodge.. and bam **Singing.. Heaven.. there must be a missing Angel.. cause just as night fell Angel Doris that I wrote about here.. came to my my rescue.. and her family accommodated me for the night. Sheybe I am careless ba?! Well we only live once I guess… **Shines teeth.. The next day I packed my kaya and was on the road to Owerri back oh.. **Smh for myself.
Singing she be my fine fine fine lady ehh...

When all hope fails, ITC will stand. **Shines teeth..
Now there is this Really ghen ghen Chapel in Owerri oh! kai na there I go marry my next crush.. It is Beautiful. Now having that I did not have house to stay in all through my 5 days nah, my load was like MTN, everywhere you go… as in I carried them everywhere I went there. And was snapping picshur like a fish. So Bbbrrraaacceee yaself...
look how real the paintings are... :)
Igbo man pose..

**Mr Homeless Nigeria with Loads...
Fine boy...

Come Saturday was the 2015 edition of the Catholic Theaters in South-Eastern Tertiary Institution competition, of which I was a llllllooonnngggg time ago a one-time Deputy Slave.. That’s how I went to Turn up oh! Chisos you needed to see the reception they gave this young and confused 23 years 3 months 12 days boy when he entered the hall. Ladies were screaming like I was Iyanya.. **In Wajildas voice yeah, I was just feeling like a pimping all through.. I mean the hall literally scattered as we walked in #ItcanonlybeGOD.. I was now feeling like O.C ukeje and myyyyy nigga iMannie…. Heheheh Local Champion like me.. kai a neFer Hexsperred it oh! Choi! And then the After parry was madantin..**Whispers there was this geh that I was Timing those days as a Student.. and the geh came to the after parry.. Mehn I was just whispering Sexy mama to her ear all night.. She was grinding me like I was a morter! OShey Turn up! It was madantin aswear… and then I attended a Pool parry on Sunday where there was ONLY 1 bottle of Alcohol and almost 10 glasses.. It was like survival of the fittest for who could get more alcohol in before the mmanya finished.

Celebrity Thespian.. Kai me and this buoy raised havoc those days shhhaaa.. :)

That guy in White(at the center) has an iPhone 6+.. kai my life.. heheheheh
Cross Section...

So I finally got a place to spend the weekend, and it was ghen ghen.. It was with a lovely couple who are just plain amazing.. I just pray GOD blesses them for being such a blessing to this Young and Confused boy man.. Kai If you see the Sunday Rice the Iyawo gave me to eat ehn! She is a wonderful lady aswear… It could feed 5000 people.. With Salad ontop sef.. Me!! Me that cannot remember the last time I ate salad.. Kai! All I could say was Oshey Turn up! Me that is from interior village of my village.. The Village of Villages.. I ate Salad.. **Singing he is a miracle working god…

Finally I am pleased to inform you all that I think I have found my wife .. **Shines teeh.. **Dear Heavens please don’t let Ribena see this oh **Drops on knees. Well She is the Amazing code name: Chocolate.. A member of the Mirror of Justice Theater Troupe IMSU. I am uber excited that she is doing so well with the family, and I was proud of Chocolate.. Of how motherly she had become. Damn I miss her already.

So my people that was how I finally had my meeting of fate on Monday by 3: 38 Pm and I am pleased to inform you that **he is a miracle working GOD… Hopefully my testimony is close.

So that’s all fam, you guys rock.. Ehennnn gues what?! Janyl my awesome mama missed me.. **Winks… Yep! She noticed I was MIA and She called to check on me when I was absent.. You might think its nothing but Janyl Benyl is the most and I emphsaise MOST important lady to me on the online community.. Well after Ribena sha.. **Winks Mama you know Love conquers all nah… So I was thrilled to hear her voice.. It makes all my confusions fade.. Also the ghen ghen Raliat called me too and gave me the awesome news in the Pre-script above… To these 2 I sing **Clears throat like Bruno mars.. I will catch a grenade for you uuuuuu.. Jump in front of keke for you uuuuuuuu… You know I will do anything for you uuuuuu… Even Join Boko Haram for you uuuuuu… I will go through all these pain… bet I wont put a bullet right through my brain.. I no fit die for you. Cause you wont do the same, and plus life is still sweeting me **Shines teeth.

Thank you for the past 7 minutes of your time gang, I pray for you that the next time you are traveling, heavens will not put a sadist man or woman by your side that will be forming senselese for you like the one that sat with me when I was going.. Eeeehhhnnn gang, I met this very ghen ghen geh when I was coming back with the night bus last night,.. If you see her ehn She is Beauriful.. It seems like she fell from the sky.. **Whispers.. I just found another reason to go to Abuja.. Plus she is Hausa and to that the crowd goes.. OOsssshhhheeeyy! Turn up!.. Kai I think I am in love with another ghen ghen Hausa geh again J. Cheers
kai.. my love for Hausa gehssss shaaa.... :)

#Udo #ItcanonlybeGOD

Monday, 16 March 2015

15-FOR-15 Challenge_Family (March post) Man of Steel

**Takes of only wrist watch **Takes of confused bracelet **Sits upright on Jangolova chair.. **deep sigh.. Who is the strongest of them all?!?! Marvel say its lekpa Spiderman, some at Warner Bros. say its wealthy Batman, while the others say its Alien Superman.. but to all of them I say na lie! I know the Man of steel, and his name is Barr. Duru Adolphus (Snr). They claim Super man is the strongest, as he has the most advanced of superpowers, you know;  ability to fly and save any lady he wanted, ability to see through female dresses  walls, inability to fall sick, unable to bleed to death, unable to feel pain, unable to cry… Well I grew up with this superman notion in my head, and when I was 13 I wished I could become Man of steel just so I would be able to see through the “popular” female rest room in secondary school when that lady that made my heart beat twice faster walked in.. Well I was never able to have such power, but my man of steel yeah, he was there all the while, right there by my side even when the teachers called me the class clown and sent notes that his child was on his way to self destruction, he saw past my shenanigans and saw the light in me no matter how bleak.. Although that was after series of slaps after getting that report from that yeye School teacher sha.

Yesterday was Mothers day, and everywhere I saw pictures of children with their mothers, and my it broke my heart, yeah.. cause I miss her, cause I remember vividly in the past how on such days she would outdo herself in the kitchen by preparing the best of meals on mothers day to show she was the real Ezinne mama. Rather yesterday, it was me in the kitchen cooking Biafran rice with concuction stew containing plenty Tin Tomato and little or no salt **Sigh.. I was screwed yesterday and resulted to call Wajilda first and then Ribena as I was more or less a wreck, you know why?! Cause life is just so unfair.. I mean why do wrong things happen to seemingly good and very ghen ghen people?! I mean I aint good, but I deserve some more luck don’t I?! Well like the awesome Sophie says, "Duru we never really have the answers to all the Why".

Growing up, life has taught me that the man of steel I envisaged in my head was wrong all the while. You see Daddy is my man of steel, and unlike popular believes, my man of steel is made of flesh and blood, my man of steel wears glasses like Clark kent, but even though he cant fly, he crawls the length of life to make us better. Even though he cant see through walls, he sees through my pain and knows when I am at the brink of loosing it, and no matter my failures, he sees through them and sees the light and success in me regardless. The hands of my man of steel shakes when he feels pain, his eyes gets teary when life kicks us both to the curbs, he has fears that I might not be great enough, he has fears that I might lose the light, but one thing life is teaching me is that no matter how screwed my life gets, just like Clark Kent does Louis Lane yeah, my man of steel has always gat my back.

Many atimes I think of how much an ingrate I have been, many atimes I hate myself for having to still make him go through so much pain for me even at his age and at mine, many atimes I wish I could be a better, Richer, smarter, more focused and more determined son, but sadly all I am is me with the hope that one day someday I will make Father proud.

I wish I could show this post to him and tell him how much I love him, but if father finds out that the URL exists and we use the name Young and Confused as the brand, then na the day them go realize that this my lekpa bory is really breakable, as it might more or less be the day my life ends as he is sure gonna freak out and give me a legendary shout and slap… But till that day comes father, I will shout it to the roof tops that I love you to the ends of the earth and back… and that I promise you with the last blood in my vein that I will make you proud. You are my why Sir.

Oya the Mushy Mushy e haf do..  #Leggo

Saturday Bants!

Ossshhheey Turnup! Turn up Turn Up ladies and gentlemen, what gwan fam?! Whats the freaking 411?! Mehn last week Saturday was ghen ghen  for me, as it was mega Turned Up. And the crowd goes.. Yyyeeeaaahh mehn.. You see I have decided to go on a #ConfusedTour2015 which will involve me meeting every single.. and yep! I said EVERY SINGLE! reader of the #YnCGang before the end of the year.. So last week started by me meeting the ghen ghen Morayo… Oya wait!! Did I tell you guys I started Jugging?! Lmao.. Yes oh! I started 3 Sundays ago, and it’s a Sunday Sunday night routine (See pictures below). Yesterday I was jugging and when I jugged past Thrillers and their Bright lights, I saw my shadow and it was begging for mercy.. Choi! I am Lekpa for Africa mbok.. **crying in Spanish.

So lemme tell you about Morayo!

I met Morayo sometime last year, and I was like okay! Beautiful name, but then we connected on Instagram, and my! did I find out that she wasn’t just a beautiful lady physically and by name, but that she also had a beautiful heart.. I got into some crazy trouble with one very interesting lady this year, and to her I say **In Korede Bello’s voice.. "You been wan fall my hand but GODWIN" **Tongue out… And Morayo had my back all the way..  Now something about this child is that she is amazing on all levels.. lemme tell you why. When I got into the Online community trouble earlier this year, it was basically Toin, Morayo, Sophie, Ribena, Mannie and Ice that majorly reached out to help me stand on my feet, but one thing that touched my heart was the way the 6 of them had my back gidibam through the ordeal pushing me to smile and keep keeping on.. You know ehn fam, **Whispers.. I was so close to closing down this URL, but then this line hit me “ Start from Nothing, Stop for nothing” and also Morayo sent me this very ghen ghen chat on watsapp (See screen shot below)… Well I love her loads, and she is my why…  Its her Birthday on the 18th of March.. Wish you a ghen ghen celebration Morayo, you Rock and to you Rayo I say Thank GOD for the day our paths crossed, and even though my life is most times, together I hope we can clear each others confusion. Bubba Lets dance like no one is watching shall we?! and the crowd goes.. Oshey Turn up!..

The pictures below  are very Playful, Viewers discretion is advised.. I dunno how to be Tush mbok**Shines teeth..  

Ribena Update: About Ribena.. mehn gang, i dunno what to think.. I feel her pulling away. Well issorait. 

Cheers fam and do have a turnt up week. My prayer for you this week is you will not be stuck in that stupuid traffic frommary land to Ikeja, and that every thing that will make you enter bus that is boiling like cooler will die by fire… **Shines teeth…

.. Bet of course i had to initiate her into the confused clan first.. Bracelets by Afriklilo bracelets... :)
..Look at us looking like a married couple..iBlush.. :)

Look through my Versace shades, and see the confusion i see.. :P
Disturbing the Shoprite .. Osheyy Turn up! We didnt even buy anything oh! just snap and go :D...
Ehen! Wait first.. Sheybe I told you i started Night Jugging **Shines teeth.. Do you see my Biceps and Triceps.. :)

Oshey Turn up!
..Sharpening my Modelling skills.. Do you see my Biceps?!
Bet wait!!! Lets take a selfie inside the sun mbok..
A kiss from us to you :* I  am a great kisser ask my ex!

Monday, 9 March 2015

#MyBachellorsDiary_ Angel Ribena

Free Advert: **shines teeth: Have you guys met the amazing Lohla Windfall?! My god!!! If you havent ehn, then you are sleeping on a parked canoe, and you are carrying last... My god she is an amazing blogger who is full of humor about life through her eyes.. I mean she is just like Sykik and Toin... I never go to her blog without cracking up... Lmao...she is epic aswear.

Inspector Duru at work: I finally got to see what that craze man called Mannie looks like... Hehehehhehheh **Tongue out Bruv.. Saw your picshur on Watsapp.. No more Mr Anonymous forming for you.. **shines teeth.

Turn up Turn up ladies and gentlemen, what gwan fam? Whats the freaking 411?! How was the weekend? Hope Yall turned up oh.. **winks @ Egbon Toin.. we know ya own story oh....Mehn I am feeling mega turnt up on all levels like kilode right about now. It feels like my blood is pumped up with 25 gallons of Andrenaline.. Could this be love?! Lets just say In Timaya's voice... This is my time to chill and drink juice.. I pray oh... So I am currently at Abuja and life here is Doro tough like kilode... Chisos.. Anefer hexsperred it oh... The suffer wey i dey suffer here no be am oh... First off the Abuja sun is hot like Boiling Ring hot water... Aha.. Kilode? I was choco milo colour like Bournvita when i came here, but lo and behold yeah, now i am black like coffee without sugar.. **crying in french... On the bright side though, lemme just say that having that my passport is still a virgin **wears cheeky smile, this is the closest to Obodo Onyibo that i have ever been...Abuja be like America for my eyes... Mehn a KuDunt BeliFit... Mehn the thing is not a small thing oh. Damn!! I so cannot wait to start leaving the Clara lifestyle which involves travelling like an Ajala regardless of its perks... I think i finally got a bit of it in the passing week sha... Well in the voice of an Ex Blooger friend whom I used to love.... Lets Talk...

I was in 3 Nigerian cities in the last 7 days... Insha allah i should be in Lagos in 13 hours, but its been a bitter sweet experience... Owerri was fucked as usual, dont think I wanna go there any time soon sef **wears straight face. Enugu was chilled as there was plenty Alcohol, but No women.. :( Aswear I think i will move there when my next girlfriend gets pregnant.. But Abuja has been tha real ish... Plenty Alcohol, and plenty plenty plenty women... Plus most importantly yeah, i got to meet the AMAZING Ribena?. And the crowd goes... Uuuugggghhhhhh..... Oya lemme gist you guys... So my 'GOD IS GOOD' airline  flight **winks touched down on Abuja on Wednesday after nearly 8 hours on the road, and once I got into my accomodation at 4:17Pm, i immediatley had a change of clothes, put on my best pair of shoes as inspired by Ice law and took my Versace glasses, not forgetting to baptize myself in perfume and was I good to go :). Now the thing i dont like about Abuja sam sam is that this place is as expensive as hell.. I mean no busses to jump here, and the worst one that broke my heart is that you just cannot trek my kind of trekking here as everywhere is far from everywhere.. Plus as i am lekpa like this ehn, i am sure that if i trekked Lugbe to Maitama to Asokoro and back to Lugbe, i would be nothing but bones by now as e far no be small **crying in french.. So out of love, Stingy koko like me had to board a taxi. Kai my life.. I mean me?! **In Ausserehl's voice... Cheap skate like me for the first time in my life entered 1 motor!! Ofu!! Enyokan!! 1!! For 1,000 naira.. Kai things we do for love ba?! If i only knew the short cut yeah, i would have trekked. :(
Beer... a mans most loyal friend

Well 30 minutes later I was at her office and i got down from the vehicle like a boss.. Mehn i was feeling like a super star.. **wears mr Nigeria smile.. And then i saw her... She was glowing so brightly like the sun that i needed to wear my Versace shades to not get blinded by her beauty, plus she had long flowing beautiful black Rapunzel like hair.. I mean I know I told yall she was beautiful, but she is more than that; she is the similitude of a star glowing in the night sky.. I mean i looked into her eys and the world stopped spinning for a bit, and my heart began beating twice as fast as i was lost in her gaze. We got to chill at the Consulate later that night and my she is perfect with this really cute smile... Seems like she fell outta my dreams sef even my wet ones as she hot like that.. Dayummm.. At a time yeah, I got so close to her and could literally breathe her air... and my it was a priceless feeling...

So i came to Abuja to work, to try and build bridges to my future so it was hard and tough as I had to be under the sun for hours on end, and literally sleep in a store since i am broke like that, and on Saturday Ribena suprised me... She came over to my store room with the best meal i had all my while at Abuja and she had this beautiful smile on her face when she alighted from the vehicle... The type that makes the heart of a man go kpo kpo di kpo kpo di kpo kpo di kpo kpo di kpo kpo kpo. It was fantastic, she is the most beautiful thing i have ever seen, the most perfect i have been with as even though my life is so fucked up at the moment and it feels like i have lost everything and curretly hit rock buttom yeah, Ribena is my sanity, my happiness, my hope, and the one that makes me smile before i sleep as well  as makes me wake up with a spring from my bed.
Told y'all i became black.. :(

Sadly Gang, i wish I could tell you guys i got hitched, but I cant... At a time i asked her what we are, and neither of us could define it... Thing is we aint dating yeah... We never might sef... but  I like that child like my life depends on it, but sadly I dunno if she does in the same exact quantity, but just as I stated on the beautiful valentines day post as done by me and the ghen ghen Sophie, I choose to Love regardless of if I am loved in return... STUPID YEAH? DESPERATE MUCH YEAH? Well you are right.. While i was in University, i was slave to one of the most popular theater troupes in IMSU so i was an Engr. Joneser.. But a couple of minutes ago yeah, i saw on watsapp that a slave to one of the most prominent Entertainment dance crews in IMSU had passed away, and my it hit me like a thundrbolt.. It made me realize that we will only live once, and we dont have much time left, so why hold back. So Ribena if you are reading this Baby mi, i want you to know that my heart beats faster for you, and even though this seems impossible Bubba cause of the winchie winchie called Distance yeah, i want you to know there is always a way. I know i cant take care of you Baby, i mean i aint rich enough nah, but you are 1 more reason for me to work harder, 1 more why.. Its 2:35 Am.... and my Abuja Bants ends here. Lagos in some hours :(.

P.S: if you work in a bank, abeg i need a loan oh. You can have Ice law the blogger as my collateral.You know ehn gang, that guy actually called me while Ribena and I were having dinner... Guy use ya head oh... **In Toinlicious voice yeah, mbok Dont rain on my parade oh on my honey moon night.. :) **Tongue out

P.P.S: It hurt me that i was unable to meet with C.P.C, Sophie and Raleeyat on this Trip. **In T-Notes voice.. I was just Rabbish with time management.  Hopefully yeah, i will see you wonderful ladies after the Election... jo ma binu. :(

Thank you for the past 7 minutes of your time great young minds, you are our why... My strength and my hope... My prayer for you this week is that you will find a reason to smile like a fish all time every time just as i have found... **shines teeth I mean you guys need to meet Ribena... She is awesome. But if she breaks my heart, yall know that like it was with Jilda yeah, its on your shoulders i will come back to cry... Cc. 1+ THE ONE :*.

If we aint super glued togera already on Instagram, then i beg you in the name of United Bank of Africa who like too much protocol to collect my own money oh... Do follow me, and state you are from the blog, and I will follow back immediately. lets make history #YncGang

Instagram: Youngandconfused_byjdb.. 


#Udo #ItcanonlybeGOD

Monday, 2 March 2015

The FEAR of success...

Pre-Script... Thank you all for your ghen ghen comments on last weeks post, your comments strengthened me... GOD bless you all real good... may your kids never be as confused as me oh... :)

Turn up Turn up ladies and gentlemen, Happy New month eh... May this month be tha real definition of turnt up for all of us insha Allah. So what gwan fam? Elenkemeghani people?! Mhen hope you guys are ready for the bestest month of your life oh?! Hope you are ready to turn up oh? Oya Amebo time, how was ya weekend? **In Ribena's voice... Hope the bants paid off. Hope you had a very ghen ghen last week and a more turnt up weekend... Ane the crowd goes Oooossshhheey.. Mehn hope you ate plenty cat fish oh like the beautiful Buiti?! Mehnn is it me or that baby okwu is as fine as an Angel that fell from the sky? Choi... Her beauty leaves me with my mouth wide open.. Kilode?! How can only 1 geh be fining all that kain fine? Na wa oh..... I mean her beauty is tempting... Chisos.. To my brovers in tha house, hope you pursued plenty women like Ice that guy like woman shaaa... Or you turned up for one berra Owambe like Agbani and Moby... Or you did mo gbo mo ya like.. **clears throat.. Me?... Lmao.. What ever it is, please have fun oh, this life na one chance. As i write this yeah, i am at one crazy hotel in Owerri... I think i could get used to this hotel life oh... Just that it is a tad lonely, and last night ehn, i fought plenty temptation to go and look for a client of the night to gist with.. I said gist with oh :) **hides from Ribena, Sophie, Peace Itimi, the beautiful hearted Morayo and Janyl.. Lmao.. So lemme gist you guys small.. Last week was one kind for me biko... and to say i was feeling under the weather is to put it likely, it was more like I was feeling under the hurricane.. And it was horribleeee... In the light of that, i took my self, my lekpa bory and my Blue Timberland to go see Jupiter Ascending... Wait first, a pack of Strawberry is 1000 Naira in Nigeria!!! You say Whatttt!!! I kuku have never eaten it beforw... 1000 naira can buy a partially grown Coconut tree to plant in ya house for life nah, aha!!! Is it harvested in heaven? How can orange be 50 naira and straberry be 1000 Naira.. One fine geh bought it when i was in a keke last Friday, i almost screamed after the seller, as i thought he wanted to run away with her change.. Smh.. Thats Racisms biko. Lmao.. Oya back to my story.. So each time i go to the cinemas alone yeah, i stay at the back hoping to get some **In T-Notes Voice... Some good ol' touching bory and toasting time with a fine geh at the back... **covers face.. So this last week i went oh and in the mumu film i was seeing ehn, they were kissing and flying anyhow up and down... so teyyyyyy they almost removed the womans tongue with kiss.. Jupiter ascending is too scripted biko... So as i was sitting on my own forming gagster, thats how one fine geh came to sit at my side, and in my head i was like... osssssshhheeeyyy grooove e haf start... But lo and behold oh, the geh was acting somehow, she was just all over the place like someone with mami water... **heavens forgive me.. I almost started crying... The part i knew my own was doomed if I tried to toast, talkless of touching bory with her was when her phone rang and she replied.. "Mummy mo wan CHURCH" which translates "Mother I am at Church.." Really?! I was like nawa oh... I started questioning where me i was? cinema abi church... Smh... Some gehs sshhhaaa... I just stayed on my own jeje and was watching kissing kissing and film trick till my cash expired..

So... Have you ever felt it? Have you ever felt a fear that makes you not feel good enough? Have you ever felt that you are undeserving of greatness, success, true love, or excellence? Have you ever felt that you will not make it? That you were born to fail? Have you ever felt that things will heppen...NO! That great things will happen and you will be unable to handle them? Well I dont know about most of you awesome great minds, but i feel it all the time... Its painful, saddening and depressing... Makes you less than you are.. it makes you doubt you, it makes you believe that you are only deserving of mediocrity, it makes you doubt not just your abilities but GOD'S blessings in your life... It makes you produce less result. Welll i found out what it is... Its called FEAR OF SUCCESS.

You know many people believe success is a gift not for all men, but for a special few.. Many believe that they shouldnt be part of that amazing set of "blessed ones" Some choose to accept the lifestyle of mediocrity instead, believeing that greatness is not their lot.. Many of us beleive that we are not good enough for a certain guy or girl, not smart enough for a certain job, not intelligent enough to get that first class from the university, not rich enough to believe we can live the life we want, so we inadvertently stick to a life of mediocrity instead... Well i want to tell you that in the voice of Naeto Chikwe... DEVIL is a liar, and so are those thoughts in your head... The Fear of success is a lie, why?! cause YOU ARE GOOD ENOUGH... Thats the simple reason.

You see our minds are so strong that they can deceive us to believe nearly anything, and i want you to know that even the greats feel or felt like this... I mean the Newtons, the Steve Jobs', The Einsteins, the Oprahs, the Toinlicious', the Duru's, the Dangote's, the Adebola William's**winks... Before nko, i will not hype my family ni? Truth is we all feel like this, but i want you to understand that its not as much about how you feel, as it is about how you act... So this morning great young mind i implore you for just one moment to begin not caring about if you fail or succeed at anything, but to just try, cause it doesnt matter who fails or suceeds.. I mean we dont have power over that... We dont determine who fails or succeeds, so when you feel less than you can as described above, i want you to understand that to him who greatness is given, to him greatness is deserving, and to whom love is given, love is deserving.. GOD doesnt roll dice... If he puts you in a relationship that you think is too good for you, or gives you a job you think is bigger than ya power, or gives you immense successs of any sort... Success so much that you feel you will scew it up, i implore you to accept it and make the best of it, to ignore the doubt, to not dwell on the pressure, but to dance liks no one is watching... :)

Thank you for the past 7 minutes of your life #YnCgang... :p I pray that going into this week ehn, you will have reasons to be kept warm like a sweater and smile like a king or queen that you are... **whispers sorry, i was listening to Bala bala by Ikechukwu and Wizboy.. The above are lyrics from it. And the crowd goesss.... Yyyyyeeaahhh mehn...


First of... ATIYA is backkkkkk.... She is such a wondetful writter, and i am uber excited that she is... I am still trying to Toast CPC to enough that she comes back.. Might even go see her at Abuja Law scool sef... So please pray for me... Trying to toast that bae is haarrrdd... Ehenn... I spoke to the amazing Clara last week... Chisos her voice is heavely choi... Her boyfriend will be enjoying oh.. The voice alone na temptation.. **wears Mr. Nigeria smile.

So February is over, and it was Turnt up for me... Clara was the YnC blogger of the month of January as she sacrificed for us at very ghen ghen times... So for February, i said to give the trophy of Blogger Extraordinare to Ice... This brover made some very nice moves for us, for which we are very grateful... Ice baba...GOD make you bigger sir. Will find a way to say Thank you as soon as we can.

My top 3 confused posts of last month are.

Lemme tell you about the BRIDGE. Now i have been blogging for 20 months, and my time here is almost up... But one thing i have noticed is that there are 2 sets of bloggers... The First generation bloggers Like Linda Ikeji and my Blog mother, and the Second Generation bloggers like the confused me and Cliverly :)... And in between us both is a huge gap... But when i felt hopeless and thought it impossible to connect with them due to this gap yeah, GOD brought us Sykik and Toinlicious... Now these 2 ladies have been here on blovger for quite a while, and by all standings have more experience, fan base and and are more fun, but it humbles me how they are humble enough to love us, nurtre us and be that connecting bridge between these 2 seemingly distance worlds. The day i got mentioned on both of their blogs ehn.. Mehn i KuDunT beliFit.. I was close to shedding tears of joy... a feat i owe and fully dedicate to Janyl benyl for lighting the march that set my confusions on fire... These are 2 ladies i love so much for not just loving me, but for being so humble to accept the indiosyncracies that comes with this seemingly new generation of bloggers. Love you ladies much..

In other news, Gbemi is on a roll this 2015 oh... She is blogging every bladdy day... Yall need to go there :)

Woman Wrapper tales..

**whispers i am on a sorta tour right now, and i plan to go suprise Ribena at Abuja soon... Heheheheheheheh the way i am loving that geh ehn... I might even get on my knees and propose gehfriendship... **winks... 

P.S: I love you all to the ends if the earth and back.. Please pray for me... I have a couple of ghen ghen meetings this week which will determine the course of my life... Please. I beg that you, just take 10 seconds to pray for me right now, that i find grace where hope seems lost... Biko na beg oh. Thank you so much gang, You are my why.

#Udo #ItcanonlybeGOD