Pre-script.. At about 22:34 GMT+1 lerrus form packaging small **Shines teeth.. The amazing Remarkable awesome Ralleyat called me and said the Young and Confused blog i.e www.duruadolphusjnr.blogspot.com was nominated in the Nigerian Bloggers award in Most Humorous segment… Fam.. Aswear I dunno how that happened oh! Bet #ItcanonlybeGOD.. I dedicate this nomination to you guys #YnCGang.. You guys are my why! The real MVP’s and in all sincerity yeah, I am nothing without you guys.. Thank you guys for everything… Will update y'all gang, after I read through the awards site.. Osssssshhhhhheeeeeyyyy Turn up!. Ngwa Ngwa.. Kindly Click on this link: http://nigerianblogawards.com/vote2014.php to vote.. We the confused blog are in the 11th Category.. Abeg use ya Church mind vote oh! **Winks.
**Damn!! my boss just came in.. This post might take a bit :(
**takes off Wrist watch.. **Takes of confused bracelets **Takes off yellow rubber band **shines teeth. Turn up Turn up ladies and gentlemen.. what gwwan gang?! whats the 411?! Mehnn **in 2 face’s voice.. As you see me sooo.. I don suffer oh! kai! Y'all know that I was lekpa before I left this Lagos in search of my future last week Thursday ba?! Well I am pleased to inform you that I am currently close to disappearing.. As in all those places I used to have muscle before ehn, na hole hole full there now.. I am glad to inform you that I am currently www.lekpa.com… **In Olamides voice.. First of all! APOLOGY-ction.. You see ehn I haf missed yall like kilode, bet this life is hardddd shhhaaaa… Oya The below thread of ghen ghen tales by moonlight is the reason for my absence.. I know some gehs like Onyilola, Eniwealth, Sophie and even some married ladies like Lohla windfall **winks will be checking me out in the picshur below.. Bet all I can say is **In Teju baby faces voice.. I am taken.. I am taken... I married to Angel Gabriel's senior younger sistes.. I am takeennn… So Leggoo..
First of all… Pppprrrrrraaaaiiissssee tha lawd sopmebory!? Umuchineke?! Eh!!! I was on my own oh last Wednesday when Fr. Anthony Njoku my Mentor and Rolemodel, plus the man that created "John de Beloved" called me and asked me to be at Owerri 11 AM on Thursday morning to analyse my Future.. Hian.. my people that was how I used all the money.. and I repeat aLllllL!!!! the money in my Fidelity bank account to go and form Toinlicious oh and be entering plane up and down.. I couldn’t even afford Aero-contractors or Arik sef! I enterered an Igbo Kwenu flight called AirPeace ***Shines teeth. M
y igbo Brothers are growing oh :).. That’s how one Mumu boy was insulting me on Instagram.. Kai I
haf the most useless friends ahhhaaaa.. Anyways Plane na plane.. and I sha entered
plane.. **Tongue out.. It was not a small thing oh.. If you see the geh that sat next to me ehn.. Chisos..
She was as beauriul as the morning sun.. I almost toasted her sef oh! Bet she was
giving me levels.. so I jejely stayed there and was swallowing spit to clear my
ear that was blocking per second **crying in spanish. Mehn Gang trust me nah… I
was snapping picshur like it was going outta fashion.. Remain small sef ehnnn I for go ask Pilot at
the cockpit **”Sir lets take a selfie with the sky”… mehnnn the Air Hostesses
were fayyyynnneee... Yall know that Debola Williams is teaching me how to snap
picshur nah… My mentor for long that’s him.
So touch down Owerri, I had the meeting as planned and it turned out that the winchie winchie in my village have big plans for me so the meeting was postponed… But in Mzz Anuoluwapo’s voice.. Everything I do na #GODWIN.. So that was how I used my 2 left leg and went to my UBA, withdrew all the money I had there sef and paid for hotel that had AC that was blowing like winter.. My people the cold was too much I had to invite a random lady that thought I had money hehehehe if you see me packaging ehhnn, you sef will believe that I was rich… Did I mention I was sharing my Complementary card like I was sharing church fliers?! I had to Rep where I survive from nah, abi no be so?! Now the plan was to do Touching bory with the geh oh bet apparently, the geh knew me as the
champion JdB so she didnt agree to act action film with me and help my cold..
At the end she said she was disappointed in me?! And I was like ehen!!
Disappointed ke?! Did they tell you that celebrity local champion blood
no dey boil.. Abeg oh! Well she left my Hotel room angrily, and I am not sure I
will see her again… I went to hang out with Dear friend of mine later on.. We were
in the Legion of Mary togera **Covers face.. Yes nah.. I am a Legionary… **Runs
away.. and it was an awesome meeting.. we just kept laughing and reminiscing..
She is really a dear friend, and she is amazingly fun to be with. I could not
even try nonsense with this legion of mary geh, if not my slap was sure :(.
So the plan was to be in and out of Owerri on Friday oh, bet as the god of Ajala that is injecting me with my awesome Egbon Clara’s blood will have it yeah, I had to stay 5 days.. Yep 5 days in Owerri.. So I checked out of the hotel on Friday, and since my money e haf finish that time I had nowhere to go.. Shit got real aswear.. I was homeless and broke.. and all the hair on my bory stood like chuku chuku.. And that was how I stupidly entered a bus to Portharcourt.. can you imagine?! I didn’t know where tha Hell I was going oh, bet all I knew was that I wanted to be at Portharcourt that night as I had no more money to lodge.. and bam **Singing.. Heaven.. there must be a missing Angel.. cause just as night fell Angel Doris that I wrote about here.. came to my my rescue.. and her family accommodated me for the night. Sheybe I am careless ba?! Well we only live once I guess… **Shines teeth.. The next day I packed my kaya and was on the road to Owerri back oh.. **Smh for myself.
|Singing she be my fine fine fine lady ehh...|
|When all hope fails, ITC will stand. **Shines teeth..|
Now there is this Really ghen ghen Chapel in Owerri oh! kai na there I go marry my next crush.. It is Beautiful. Now having that I did not have house to stay in all through my 5 days nah, my load was like MTN, everywhere you go… as in I carried them everywhere I went there. And was snapping picshur like a fish. So Bbbrrraaacceee yaself...
|look how real the paintings are... :)|
|Igbo man pose..|
|**Mr Homeless Nigeria with Loads...|
Come Saturday was the 2015 edition of the Catholic Theaters in South-Eastern Tertiary Institution competition, of which I was a llllllooonnngggg time ago a one-time Deputy Slave.. That’s how I went to Turn up oh! Chisos you needed to see the reception they gave this young and confused 23 years 3 months 12 days boy when he entered the hall. Ladies were screaming like I was Iyanya.. **In Wajildas voice yeah, I was just feeling like a pimping all through.. I mean the hall literally scattered as we walked in #ItcanonlybeGOD.. I was now feeling like O.C ukeje and myyyyy nigga iMannie…. Heheheh Local Champion like me.. kai a neFer Hexsperred it oh! Choi! And then the After parry was madantin..**Whispers there was this geh that I was Timing those days as a Student.. and the geh came to the after parry.. Mehn I was just whispering Sexy mama to her ear all night.. She was grinding me like I was a morter! OShey Turn up! It was madantin aswear… and then I attended a Pool parry on Sunday where there was ONLY 1 bottle of Alcohol and almost 10 glasses.. It was like survival of the fittest for who could get more alcohol in before the mmanya finished.
|Celebrity Thespian.. Kai me and this buoy raised havoc those days shhhaaa.. :)|
So I finally got a place to spend the weekend, and it was ghen ghen.. It was with a lovely couple who are just plain amazing.. I just pray GOD blesses them for being such a blessing to this Young and Confused
boy man.. Kai If you see the Sunday Rice the Iyawo gave me to
eat ehn! She is a wonderful lady aswear… It could feed 5000 people.. With
Salad ontop sef.. Me!! Me that cannot remember the last time I ate salad.. Kai!
All I could say was Oshey Turn up! Me that is from interior village of my
village.. The Village of Villages.. I ate Salad.. **Singing he is a miracle
Finally I am pleased to inform you all that I think I have found my wife .. **Shines teeh.. **Dear Heavens please don’t let Ribena see this oh **Drops on knees. Well She is the Amazing code name: Chocolate.. A member of the Mirror of Justice Theater Troupe IMSU. I am uber excited that she is doing so well with the family, and I was proud of Chocolate.. Of how motherly she had become. Damn I miss her already.
So my people that was how I finally had my meeting of fate on Monday by 3: 38 Pm and I am pleased to inform you that **he is a miracle working GOD… Hopefully my testimony is close.
So that’s all fam, you guys rock.. Ehennnn gues what?! Janyl my awesome mama missed me.. **Winks… Yep! She noticed I was MIA and She called to check on me when I was absent.. You might think its nothing but Janyl Benyl is the most and I emphsaise MOST important lady to me on the online community.. Well after Ribena sha.. **Winks Mama you know Love conquers all nah… So I was thrilled to hear her voice.. It makes all my confusions fade.. Also the ghen ghen Raliat called me too and gave me the awesome news in the Pre-script above… To these 2 I sing **Clears throat like Bruno mars.. I will catch a grenade for you uuuuuu.. Jump in front of keke for you uuuuuuuu… You know I will do anything for you uuuuuu… Even Join Boko Haram for you uuuuuu… I will go through all these pain… bet I wont put a bullet right through my brain.. I no fit die for you. Cause you wont do the same, and plus life is still sweeting me **Shines teeth.
Thank you for the past 7 minutes of your time gang, I pray for you that the next time you are traveling, heavens will not put a sadist man or woman by your side that will be forming senselese for you like the one that sat with me when I was going.. Eeeehhhnnn gang, I met this very ghen ghen geh when I was coming back with the night bus last night,.. If you see her ehn She is Beauriful.. It seems like she fell from the sky.. **Whispers.. I just found another reason to go to Abuja.. Plus she is Hausa and to that the crowd goes.. OOsssshhhheeeyy! Turn up!.. Kai I think I am in love with another ghen ghen Hausa geh again J. Cheers
|kai.. my love for Hausa gehssss shaaa.... :)|