Tuesday, 24 March 2015

#5DaysInOwerri_PhotoPost- ..The week that was.




Pre-script.. At about 22:34 GMT+1 lerrus form packaging small **Shines teeth.. The amazing Remarkable awesome Ralleyat called me and said the Young and Confused blog i.e www.duruadolphusjnr.blogspot.com was nominated in the Nigerian Bloggers award in Most Humorous segment… Fam.. Aswear I dunno how that happened oh! Bet #ItcanonlybeGOD.. I dedicate this nomination to you guys #YnCGang.. You guys are my why! The real MVP’s and in all sincerity yeah, I am nothing without you guys.. Thank you guys for everything… Will update y'all gang, after I read through the awards site.. Osssssshhhhhheeeeeyyyy Turn up!. Ngwa Ngwa.. Kindly Click on this link: http://nigerianblogawards.com/vote2014.php to vote.. We the confused blog are in the 11th Category.. Abeg use ya Church mind vote oh! **Winks.

**Damn!! my boss just came in.. This post might take a bit :(
**takes off Wrist watch.. **Takes of confused bracelets **Takes off yellow rubber band **shines teeth. Turn up Turn up ladies and gentlemen.. what gwwan gang?! whats the 411?! Mehnn **in 2 face’s voice.. As you see me sooo.. I don suffer oh! kai! Y'all know that I was lekpa before I left this Lagos in search of my future last week Thursday ba?! Well I am pleased to inform you that I am currently close to disappearing.. As in all those places I used to have muscle before ehn, na hole hole full there now.. I am glad to inform you that I am currently www.lekpa.com… **In Olamides voice.. First of all! APOLOGY-ction.. You see ehn I haf missed yall like kilode, bet this life is hardddd shhhaaaa… Oya The below thread of ghen ghen tales by moonlight is the reason for my absence.. I know some gehs like Onyilola Eniwealth, Sophie and even some married ladies like Lohla windfall **winks will be checking me out in the picshur below.. Bet all I can say is **In Teju baby faces voice.. I am taken.. I am taken... I married to Angel Gabriel's senior younger sistes.. I am takeennn… So Leggoo..
 
You see... Obinna!! Even the Airplane hears Igbo.. :)
First of all… Pppprrrrrraaaaiiissssee tha lawd sopmebory!? Umuchineke?! Eh!!! I was on my own oh last Wednesday when Fr. Anthony Njoku my Mentor and Rolemodel, plus the man that created "John de Beloved" called me and asked me to be at Owerri 11 AM on Thursday morning to analyse my Future.. Hian.. my people that was how I used all the money.. and I repeat aLllllL!!!! the money in my Fidelity bank account to go and form Toinlicious oh and be entering plane up and down.. I couldn’t even afford Aero-contractors or Arik sef! I enterered an Igbo Kwenu flight called AirPeace ***Shines teeth. My igbo Brothers are growing oh :).. That’s how one Mumu boy was insulting me on Instagram.. Kai I haf the most useless friends ahhhaaaa.. Anyways Plane na plane.. and I sha entered plane.. **Tongue out.. It was not a small thing oh.. If you see the geh that sat next to me ehn.. Chisos.. She was as beauriul as the morning sun.. I almost toasted her sef oh! Bet she was giving me levels.. so I jejely stayed there and was swallowing spit to clear my ear that was blocking per second **crying in spanish. Mehn Gang trust me nah… I was snapping picshur like it was going outta fashion..  Remain small sef ehnnn I for go ask Pilot at the cockpit **”Sir lets take a selfie with the sky”… mehnnn the Air Hostesses were fayyyynnneee... Yall know that Debola Williams is teaching me how to snap picshur nah… My mentor for long that’s him.
 
I can snappp pichssuuurrrr sha....
So touch down Owerri, I had the meeting as planned and it turned out that the winchie winchie in my village have big plans for me so the meeting was postponed… But in Mzz Anuoluwapo’s voice.. Everything I do na #GODWIN.. So that was how I used my 2 left leg and went to my UBA, withdrew all the money I had there sef and paid for hotel that had AC that was blowing like winter.. My people the cold was too much I had to invite a random lady that thought I had money hehehehe if you see me packaging ehhnn, you sef will believe that I was rich… Did I mention I was sharing my Complementary card like I was sharing church fliers?! I had to Rep where I survive from nah, abi no be so?! Now the plan was to do Touching bory with the geh oh bet apparently, the geh knew me as the famous local champion JdB so she didnt agree to act action film with me and help my cold.. At the end she said she was disappointed in me?! And I was like ehen!! Disappointed ke?! Did they tell you that celebrity local champion blood no dey boil.. Abeg oh! Well she left my Hotel room angrily, and I am not sure I will see her again… I went to hang out with Dear friend of mine later on.. We were in the Legion of Mary togera **Covers face.. Yes nah.. I am a Legionary… **Runs away.. and it was an awesome meeting.. we just kept laughing and reminiscing.. She is really a dear friend, and she is amazingly fun to be with. I could not even try nonsense with this legion of mary geh, if not my slap was sure :(.
 
Do you see my biceps, Triceps and Quadriceps?! hheheh
So the plan was to be in and out of Owerri on Friday oh, bet as the god of Ajala that is injecting me with my awesome Egbon Clara’s blood will have it yeah, I had to stay 5 days.. Yep 5 days in Owerri.. So I checked out of the hotel on Friday, and since my money e haf finish that time I had nowhere to go.. Shit got real aswear.. I was homeless and broke.. and all the hair on my bory stood like chuku chuku.. And that was how I stupidly entered a bus to Portharcourt.. can you imagine?! I didn’t know where tha Hell I was going oh, bet all I knew was that I wanted to be at Portharcourt that night as I had no more money to lodge.. and bam **Singing.. Heaven.. there must be a missing Angel.. cause just as night fell Angel Doris that I wrote about here.. came to my my rescue.. and her family accommodated me for the night. Sheybe I am careless ba?! Well we only live once I guess… **Shines teeth.. The next day I packed my kaya and was on the road to Owerri back oh.. **Smh for myself.
Singing she be my fine fine fine lady ehh...

When all hope fails, ITC will stand. **Shines teeth..
Now there is this Really ghen ghen Chapel in Owerri oh! kai na there I go marry my next crush.. It is Beautiful. Now having that I did not have house to stay in all through my 5 days nah, my load was like MTN, everywhere you go… as in I carried them everywhere I went there. And was snapping picshur like a fish. So Bbbrrraaacceee yaself...
look how real the paintings are... :)
Igbo man pose..

**Mr Homeless Nigeria with Loads...
Amazing...
Fine boy...

Come Saturday was the 2015 edition of the Catholic Theaters in South-Eastern Tertiary Institution competition, of which I was a llllllooonnngggg time ago a one-time Deputy Slave.. That’s how I went to Turn up oh! Chisos you needed to see the reception they gave this young and confused 23 years 3 months 12 days boy when he entered the hall. Ladies were screaming like I was Iyanya.. **In Wajildas voice yeah, I was just feeling like a pimping all through.. I mean the hall literally scattered as we walked in #ItcanonlybeGOD.. I was now feeling like O.C ukeje and myyyyy nigga iMannie…. Heheheh Local Champion like me.. kai a neFer Hexsperred it oh! Choi! And then the After parry was madantin..**Whispers there was this geh that I was Timing those days as a Student.. and the geh came to the after parry.. Mehn I was just whispering Sexy mama to her ear all night.. She was grinding me like I was a morter! OShey Turn up! It was madantin aswear… and then I attended a Pool parry on Sunday where there was ONLY 1 bottle of Alcohol and almost 10 glasses.. It was like survival of the fittest for who could get more alcohol in before the mmanya finished.

Celebrity Thespian.. Kai me and this buoy raised havoc those days shhhaaa.. :)

That guy in White(at the center) has an iPhone 6+.. kai my life.. heheheheh
Cross Section...

So I finally got a place to spend the weekend, and it was ghen ghen.. It was with a lovely couple who are just plain amazing.. I just pray GOD blesses them for being such a blessing to this Young and Confused boy man.. Kai If you see the Sunday Rice the Iyawo gave me to eat ehn! She is a wonderful lady aswear… It could feed 5000 people.. With Salad ontop sef.. Me!! Me that cannot remember the last time I ate salad.. Kai! All I could say was Oshey Turn up! Me that is from interior village of my village.. The Village of Villages.. I ate Salad.. **Singing he is a miracle working god…

Finally I am pleased to inform you all that I think I have found my wife .. **Shines teeh.. **Dear Heavens please don’t let Ribena see this oh **Drops on knees. Well She is the Amazing code name: Chocolate.. A member of the Mirror of Justice Theater Troupe IMSU. I am uber excited that she is doing so well with the family, and I was proud of Chocolate.. Of how motherly she had become. Damn I miss her already.

So my people that was how I finally had my meeting of fate on Monday by 3: 38 Pm and I am pleased to inform you that **he is a miracle working GOD… Hopefully my testimony is close.

So that’s all fam, you guys rock.. Ehennnn gues what?! Janyl my awesome mama missed me.. **Winks… Yep! She noticed I was MIA and She called to check on me when I was absent.. You might think its nothing but Janyl Benyl is the most and I emphsaise MOST important lady to me on the online community.. Well after Ribena sha.. **Winks Mama you know Love conquers all nah… So I was thrilled to hear her voice.. It makes all my confusions fade.. Also the ghen ghen Raliat called me too and gave me the awesome news in the Pre-script above… To these 2 I sing **Clears throat like Bruno mars.. I will catch a grenade for you uuuuuu.. Jump in front of keke for you uuuuuuuu… You know I will do anything for you uuuuuu… Even Join Boko Haram for you uuuuuu… I will go through all these pain… bet I wont put a bullet right through my brain.. I no fit die for you. Cause you wont do the same, and plus life is still sweeting me **Shines teeth.


Thank you for the past 7 minutes of your time gang, I pray for you that the next time you are traveling, heavens will not put a sadist man or woman by your side that will be forming senselese for you like the one that sat with me when I was going.. Eeeehhhnnn gang, I met this very ghen ghen geh when I was coming back with the night bus last night,.. If you see her ehn She is Beauriful.. It seems like she fell from the sky.. **Whispers.. I just found another reason to go to Abuja.. Plus she is Hausa and to that the crowd goes.. OOsssshhhheeeyy! Turn up!.. Kai I think I am in love with another ghen ghen Hausa geh again J. Cheers
kai.. my love for Hausa gehssss shaaa.... :)


#Udo #ItcanonlybeGOD

32 comments:

  1. This boy o! Fadludd! Leme jejely ctch the sub shaa

    Congratulations on your nomination *hugs*

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. hehehehehehehhehehehehehehehehehe Egbon!! my Love for you is Like Cold water Toin.. When i drink it ehn, E dey do my teeth tirinrin-taranran.. hehehe **Winks... Thanks Egbon.. Aswear ehn, that Nomination be me like power Ranger film trick oh, a neFer hexsperred it fa... The BIG man gats our back i guess.. And the crowd goes.. YYYeeeeaaaahh mehn!

      Delete
  2. Congratulations on your nomination. got me laughing with this post.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Awwwwgghhh Oshey Turn up! Thanks Lily, I thank GOD that my confusions made you smile.. My life get as e be aswear.. **Shines teeth...

      Delete
  3. Congrats on the nomination.
    JdB! JdB!! JdB!!! How many times did I call you? You and this your woman wrapper skills. Now its Chocolate, the next one might be Wafers with the rate at which you are going on... Lol. Wonderful post as usual! Welcome back

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Osheeey! Turn Up!!! Morayoooooo my Ride or Die Bubba.. I sight you Babes...@Wafers hhahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahah No be only wafers, na gala and LaCasera.. lmao! Thanks for making me smile Baby mi, you na Rock. :)

      Delete
  4. Congrats on your nomination. Seems like you had fun. Apparently people like us who live in Owerri should be learning from visitors like you. People like you won't come when we are around ooo....

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. heheheheh Osheey Turn up! Oshey Turn Up!! Oshey Turn Up!!!!!!! She made it!!!! Nma is actually here.. mbok gimme soap and salt water lemme wash my eyes.. i need to be sure mty PC is not doing me yahoo Yahoo abi na Blogger Blogger. **Shines teeth **Cleans Eyes.. Choi! A neFer hexsperred it oh! **In my Egbon whom i love PlenRy i.e Mzz Sykik of www.sykik.blogspot.com 's voice.. "Ohhhh my days!!!" i am smiling like a fish here Nma.. **whispers Oya JdB calm down.. )Packaging matters.. behave yaselff... Oya Lemme package maself.. Nma I am wearing My Mr. Nigeria smile nah nah oh cause of thee.. hehehehehheheheh Ghen ghen!! So you live in Owerri?! **Singing Tha lawd that answereth by fire, he is my god.. So i have now finally and i mean FINALLY found a reason to love Owerri. Osshhheey Turn up! Maybe we could see when I am in town next yeah?! Thanks for coming by Bubba, I am glad and thankful to GOD that you can relate to our confusion.. You Rock aswear, and the crowd goes.. Yyyeeaaahh mehn!

      Delete
  5. Ehen! So you entered this pitakwa and you didn't holla? We shall table this matter before the gods of our land...

    Looking really frosh in the first picture, yes I'm eyeing you ni you clean up really nicely. What's remaining is to clean up ya woman wrapper life!

    Congrats on your nomination dear, more power to you

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Lohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhllllllllaaaaaaaaaa hehehehe @ Pitakwa.. I love this lady baje baje aswear.. **Shines teeth Abeg table the maRRa after Elections oh, the gods of our land are currently busy trying to decide who will win Election... GMB or GEJ **Winks.. You know ehn Bubba, I thought to reach out to you while i was there, but my head was filled like a Lagos BRT bus carrying standing passengers and my Back pack was too heavy to think clearly so i just utterly forgot.. **In Erniesha of www.everydaytibs.blogspot.com 's voice.. Drops on Knees.. Biko Table my maRRer with mercy mbok.. Thanks Baby mi, for making me smile.. You are why I got nominated Bubba, as there is no Young and Confused Blog without you.. and the crowd goes Awwwwgggghhh.. Thanks for loving me even in my craziness. You Rock Lohla Windfall, aswear...

      Delete
  6. Silly Boy!! I'm loving you already!! See what your Naija Blog Award nomination has caused? It has made me fall in love.... *Sigh*

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Turn Up Turn Up Ladies and gentlemen!!!!! THE Calabar Gal is in the building.. and the crowd goes.. wwwwooooooowwwwwww... Oshey Turn up!!!! We are uber Excited to have you Bubba, and meeting you is making me giggle like a hyena and **In Wajildas voice.. Feel like a pimping.... Choi! I am feeling like a PLENRY pimping.. Mbok fall in love oh! Me i fall in love per second like MTN MB, and i am looking for a partner in this "falling in love thing" cause it hurts my body each time i land on the ground after falling in love alone **Wears Puppy cute face.. Welcome to our Young and Confused world amazing Calabar Gal, and big TurnT up Thank you to the ghen ghen Nigerian Blog Awards for making our paths cross.. Insha Allah yeah, it shall be fun 'falling in love with you" weekly.. So shall we dance like no one is watching Bubba?! Mbok.. Lets live with passion.. an the crowd goes.. Oooossshhheeey.. fileh A! dont touch it..

      Delete
  7. Awww congrats on the nomination

    Lol so you will catch a grenade, and jump infront of a keke because those cannot kill you?
    SSMH for you

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. hehehehehehhehehehehehehehehehehehheheheheheheheheheh Mother I dedicate this Nomination to you, as i wouldnt have been me, if not for you.. Thank you sooooo much Janyl Benyl for being a blessing.. The word Thank you even fails to show how grateful I am.. You Rock mama, you rock aon all levels aswear.. I thank GOD for the day our paths crossed.. and the crowd goes.. Aawwwwwwgghhh... **Shines teeth

      Ehen nah mama! my bory is made of gbam gbam Iron Steel and Engine oil **Shines teeth.. like they say in Nigeria.. If me and keke jam sef, na the keke go even spoil, highest my clothe will tear small. **Shines teeth... Thank you for making me who i will become Blog Mother, may GOD bless you richly.. and the crowd goes.. oooossshhheeey!

      Delete
  8. Cracked up as usual. Congratulations on the nomination dear. Your woman wrapper prowess sha dey increase daily kontinhu!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yyyyaaaaaaayyy Eni-KoKo is baccccccckkkkkkkkk... How were the Exams Bubba?! kai you just did us **in Phyno's voice.. Voooomm Nanya.. I am smiling like a fish cause of your comment Bubba, Its glad to know you are back Bubba, welcome oh! hope you bought bread and come oh.. **Shines teeth wider.. Nne the Woman wrapper thing is becoming plenRy, seems like the more i try to stop yeah, the harder it becomes.. **Crying in French.. Thanks Bubba, you made the nomination come, as I am nothing without Y'all... #IamHumbled

      Delete

  9. congratulations on your nomination buh since all the money for your UBA and FIDELITY don finish it means you are a broke ass nigga na. abi you get anoda account way you no da gist us? I LIKE YOUR SHOES SHA



    A couple of months ago I met a guy on instagram. He was good looking, smart and seemed to have his shit together. Anyway, after a few days talking, we met up for ice cream and I was relieved to find he was better looking in person and was also very tall – thank God. I hate it when you meet up with a guy and they have the height of M.I Then he asked me out to dinner at a fancy restaurant. It was the best date I’d been on in ages - great food, great flanter, lots of laughing and no criminal records. Tick. And the best bit was when we kissed goodnight, I had that rush of excitement like you’ve just eaten a whole bag of KFC Chicken and chips. CLICK I GOT GHOSTED to read more

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Broke?! hmmnn Favour Broke is an Understatement sef.. hehehheeh Like i told my Blog Mother Janyl of www.janylbenylshares.com .... Bubba, I am broker than a broken coca-cola bottle now oh! but guy man go survive insha allah... Thank you for liking my Aba shoes oh! **covers face Na him we dey use dey package so it seems like we will have money when we grow up.. **Shines teeth.. Thanks for visiting Bubba, your comment always leaves me with a smile.. and the crowd goes.. Awwwwggghhhh.. You Rock Aswear...

      Delete
  10. JdB,

    Navigating your archives is like looking for the sun at night time. Haba!! You need to adjust your contrast / colours and tweak things a little bit so the pictures do not block out the words which is what is happening right now. The text colour needs to change from gold/white to some other colours so we can stop crossing a thousand oceans to look for your tabs. *sigh*

    By the way, who is this gal all ova ya background/template? Tell her change has come........

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Okay Bubba.. I sincerely apologize, its cause of the colour mix of my desktop background.. I change it weekly to that of people who mean the world to me and some more jara on top... heheheheheh @ Change has come.. I am PDP oh! **Winks.. Calabar geh You are epic aswear.. I love thee already.. :) iTrip.. I will see what i can do about it.. Jo ma binu...

      Delete
    2. LOL!! 2015 - the year of the cougar....... :)

      Delete
    3. Bring it On Calabar Geh!!! I offer myself as a Cougar material.. **Shines teeth.. :) Thanks fior making me smile all week.. You Rock aswear..

      Delete
  11. LOL..really proud of you Nonso. Greater things are yet to come

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Amen Bubba, thanks a million for loving me even in my confusions.. You rock aswear.. Osshheey Turn uP...

      Delete
  12. Wow! You are so blessed. Stay happy!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ooossssshhheeeyy! Lux is in teh building Ladies and Gentlemen.. Thanks a million Bubba.. iBlush...

      Delete
  13. Lmao, you won't kill somebody. God bless Angel Doris, her family and the couple that accommodated you. Yes, your testimony is almost here

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yessss ooo!!! Pastor Anu.. Mbok pray for a brother bikonu.. **Whispers.. should i kneel down ni?! hehehehehe **Shines teeth...

      Delete
  14. Nonso my Nigga..... Congrats on the nomination bro. Great things will come your way soonest... Ehm I will update my blog soon... Degree exam no gree ginme time ooooo...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ameeennn oh! Shuo! Even Icee sef don turn pastor.. Cjoi!! A neFer heswxperred it! heheheheh Aight Baba.. We shall be watching you! **Shines teeth..

      Delete
  15. Congratulations on the nomination, looks like u went on a tour in owerri o, from one place to the other, welldone!!!
    The pictures are ghen ghen, abeg don't take all if d girls o, leave small for d small boys like us.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. hehehehehheheheheheh GB toh Sure.. Thanks boss... Mehn how can I take all the gehs from you?! Impossicant!! hehehe You that is using your fine boy Juju top catch all of them like fly.. Mbok i need to meet that ya native Dr.. oh! The woman Magnet he gave you is strong like kilode.. **Winks.. Thanks for Turning up for us baba, We appreciate..

      Delete