Pre-script: Oshey! Haf you guys read Mariam Ore’s first post.. It was frosh like kilode… You guys really really need to.. Please click here to see it.. Its ghen ghen like that mbok..
Ta ran ran ran rannnnn.. ran ran rannnnnn… Ta ran ran ran rannnnn.. Ran ran rannnnnn… Ta ran ran ran rannnnn.. ran ran ran rannnnnn… Ran ran ran ran ran ran raannnnn… hehehehee If you guess that tune right ehn, then you watched DBN a lot and had a fantastic child hood.. hehehe It’s the background music from The movie: The Good The bad and The ugly… **Takes off brown rubber wrist watch.. **Takes off confused bracelet.. Turn up Turn up ladies and gentlemen… what gwan fam?! whats going on?! Let the people of the Lord say Yyyeeeaaahhh mehn!!! Oshhheeey Turn uP! So I am glad to say Happy new month to you all, and I want to say a very very very ghen ghen shout out to yall for the lof nwantintin that you showed to us both at the Nigerian Blog Awards 2014 voting stage and on #ThePROPOSAL post.. aswear gang we Nefer hexsperred it aswear! **in Wajilda's voice yeah… Y'all be making us feel like a pimping’s… The results for the NBA comes out on April the 11th, and I just want to say that I dont really care as much if we win, as much as i care about the love you guys haf shown this confused boy.. I was humbled to tears aswear.. You guys are the bestest best aswear.. Thanks thanks Thanks... May your Children neFer be as confused as me...
Osheey Turn up! So I will like to in ANOTHER very special way say Ndo (Sorry) and Eweliwe( Don’t be angry)
Wether we drown inside Lagoon or not, we shall not vote Ambode to
all who endured all my NBA Voting Adverts on Instragram.. Pele.. At a time yeah
gang, me sef a taya for myself.. but **in Erniesha’s voice.. What to do la?! We
haf to hustle for vote noni… Oya EfEry boRRy icceeee…. **Whispers.. I think I
met someone new on Blogger.. I mean I was tripping for her right from when she
put up her birthday in Dubai post, and now that she is giving me GREEN light.. You
no what.. scratch that.. hehehehe.. I don’t just see Green, I see all the colors of the
Rainbow that Eniola is showing me.. hhehehe.. I think amma go in for the kill..
hehehehe Kwara here we come.. **Winks… Please help me Tell Egbon Toin that I will
soon Dis- Sugar Mummy her oh!! Aha! Nah ToyoN!!! Its sooo not Fair!! You do
know you 'IS' breaking my heart with all this distance ba?! Well **Wears
straight face… Just so you know.. I haf met me a new somebory that is willing
to Cougar me for free **Winks! And her name is the Calabar geh… So be
kiaful oh! Or else in Craig Davies voice ehn.. **I’m walking away…. :)
So do you guys feel it gang?! Do you feel your youth fading away?! Do you feel your skin glow reducing?! Do you feel your once insatiable urge for sex and its activities dying, and your desire for responsibility and more money rising?! Well I don’t (pardon my language) Fucking know why yeah, but I have been feeling this way in the past 2 weeks.... Oh shit!! Aight I think I haf spiritual Malaria, cause I have been feeling relatively OLD of late.. I mean just yesterday I was 13, and the next I was 16, and the next I was 21 and now I am enroute 24.. Mehn! How scary can that get?! Screw my life! I am in Nsogbu! I mean how did I get here so fast?! How did this 7 year old mickey mouse and voltron fan with a million dollar smile that got all my aunties and and mothers friends giving me TLC and dashing me money.. how in the world did I have all this hair all over my boRRy like a chimpanzee.. Mehn now I know I am old.. How do I know you ask?! **Deep Sigh… Legggooo... :(
I am old cause my urge for sex is dying! Yeah! You read that right.. Don’t be scared gang, I didn’t use my “Moses Rod” for Blood money ritual..
at least not yet... it’s just happening.. I think it started a couple
of days to my last trip to Abuja… Prior to then, I was an **Scratches head..
Eyesore as regards **Clears throat… but recently yeah, the urge to do all the
stupid making out and all the older and younger women Drama kinda faded
like Nollywood ghosts.. I still dunno how it happened,.. I mean I knew the day
would come but at just 23 years 3 months and 28 days?! How can I not want to get Laid so much no more.. How can all my midnight cravings just fade like a flash... How did my desire for the heat of a woman turn to Desire for the cold Naira and wisdom?! Damn! I am in trouble.. Damn! I am old...
I know I am old cause I watch the news now and not Soundcity.. I mean for as far back as I can remember yeah gang, I have been a fan of Wizkid.. You know in my head he is living the Nigerian dream.. He has a Porsche Cayenna, has a hot, sexy, beauRiful and i Reiterate EXTREMELY SEXY onyibo geh friend, he has a truck load of cash, and he has all the shoes in the world… But of recent yeah, I have found my self less interested in what Wizkid has, except his bae sha.. I mean in my confused head, after Eniwealth **wears mr. Nigeria smile, Tania be my Dream kinda woman mbok … I realize that my role model has shifted from a Wizkid to an Adebola Williams.. Its funny that I realize that I am more interested in Politics and the state of the nation.. That I watch Richard Quest and Donald Trump more than I do Trending and Prime Time Jamz.. heheheh.. I am more interested in governance, partnership, money, growth, building bridges to my future, and education.. Damn! I am old. Whats happening to me?! A don't BeLiF this aswear.. **crying in Catalan..
I know I am old cause I don’t do watsapp so much no more.. hehehe lemmme just say that if it were possible to get women pregnant via watsapp ehhnn.. I would haf been a Tu-Face Idibia by now **Wears Mr. Nigeria smile.. but thanks to the Stupid GLO which is ho-rr-ible at Festac, and a reason I cannot totally understand, I haf more self control now.. hehehehe I think the wahala I got into earlier this year kinda helped, but its more than that.. The amount of nude picshurs received and sent scares the hell outta me, and now.. Now that I feel the way I feel.. I fear my past not to hurt me… Now I know that I am old… cause image means a lot to me...
Finally I am old cause even though I am still broker than a coca cola bottle, I am not looking for a ghe friend but for a wife **Covers face…Strange yeah?! Well true that.. I should do a WCW today on IG, and it will be about Wajilda.. Since loosing her yeah, my life seems to have been difficult to re-adjust as regards lof.. I mean I tried a bit with Ribena, but the distance from Abuja to Lagos is mad.. and I support 1+ THE ONE’s view that LDR’s suck.. So now I find myself wanting to not date just a sexy geh that can make
me cum my blood pressure double merely by holding her hand, but a
girl who is homely.. A girl who is loveable, who is pretty and knows what she
wants.. Fuck my life.. a neFer hexsperred to get to this level of confusion.. at least not now.. HacSTually ehn.. I am shocked.. But now that I am here.. Its sure that I am old.. So gang my kind kweshion this Wednesday morning is: Is it just me?! Do you feel this way too?! Am i okay?! Am i sick?! **Deep sigh…
Thank you for the past 7 minutes of your time gang, you do us a great honor.. My prayer for you is that all your nude picshurs will not go out in the open.. **cleans sweat.. Phewww.. merely the thought of that makes my heart beat faster sef.. hehehehe Cheers gang… OShey Turn up!
**Sits down well on Jangolofer chair! So March was madantin.. And I am sorry I really sucked at replying comments.. **in T-Notes voice.. I was RabBBIsh with Time Management mbok.. Insha Allah ehn fam, we shall do berra in April, Ajala or not.. :)
In other news, I didn’t read as vast as I could in March, but I read some really Dope ghen ghen posts, and our Top 3 most ghen ghen posts were.. **Drum Rolls… **Flashlights.. **Cameras.. Action!
1. This Post By Nma: It was Frosh! Nma is a wonderful writer and has a unique style that is next to none..aswear.. Nma is running over with wisdom..
2. This wonderful Poem by Seyram. It had me thinking from my heart outwards.. about who I am.. Who i could be.. and who i try to be.. Its madantin gang i tell you.. Sey ram can write!!! Choi!!!
3. Hehehehehee #ThePROPOSAL post by the YnC team.. hehehe bet ofcourse.. we haf to hype ourself noni.. **Shines teeth
Asin the above 2 were frosh like that… and my blogger of the month was the amazing Janyl Benyl… Janyl goes up on our wall for her love, support and unquestionable motherliness all through March.. I can say that we connected on a whole different level, and having that she means the world and some more to me, It made me feel extra special.
Oya I know nah.. It haf over long.. Don’t fex… I wil like to say a very Huge Shout out to Blogoratti! Mehn!! I dunno if you are male or female, **Whispers.. I am yet to go make mad unprotected love to your blog, but thank you so much for the support.. You Rock aswear.. You are the bestest best.. and the crowd goess.. Yeeeaaah mehn! Loud shout out to amazing Calabar geh, the pretty Nma, the awesome E-Rella, the ever beautiful Favour, and all the YnC new friends… You guys are the real MvP aswear… You guys are my why… Egbon Toin, Atiya, Ms TLG, Gbemikoko, Tomi, Sykik, 1+THE ONE, and Mo (Baby mi). I miss you all like Kilode… :( ** In Lagbaja’s voice.. Wherever you go.. pa-ra-ran.. Whereverrrrr you are.. Pa-ra-raannn Baby baby babes you are neFer far awayyyyyy. Y’all always on my mind… **Tongue out.. hehehe at least this should get some of you to call me or send me an email at least **Wears Mr. Nigeria smile.. Osheeey Turn up! Do have a ghen ghen week fam, and mbok Dance like no one is watching and live your life with as much passion as you can muster, cause truly yeah, we dont know how much longer we have...