Wednesday, 8 April 2015

So OLD and so cold...


Pre-script: Oshey! Haf you guys read Mariam Ore’s first post.. It was frosh like kilode… You guys really really need to.. Please click here to see it.. Its ghen ghen like that mbok..

Ta ran ran ran rannnnn.. ran ran rannnnnn… Ta ran ran ran rannnnn.. Ran ran rannnnnn… Ta ran ran ran rannnnn.. ran ran ran rannnnnn… Ran ran ran  ran ran ran raannnnn… hehehehee If you guess that tune right ehn, then you watched DBN a lot and had a fantastic child hood.. hehehe It’s the background music from The movie: The Good The bad and The ugly… **Takes off brown rubber wrist watch.. **Takes off confused bracelet.. Turn up Turn up ladies and gentlemen… what gwan fam?! whats going on?! Let the people of the Lord say Yyyeeeaaahhh mehn!!! Oshhheeey Turn uP! So I am glad to say Happy new month to you all, and I want to say a very very very ghen ghen shout out to yall for the lof nwantintin that you showed to us both at the Nigerian Blog Awards 2014 voting stage and on #ThePROPOSAL post.. aswear gang we Nefer hexsperred it aswear! **in Wajilda's voice yeah… Y'all be making us feel like a pimping’s… The results for the NBA comes out on April the 11th, and I just want to say that I dont really care as much if we win, as much as i care about the love you guys haf shown this confused boy.. I was humbled to tears aswear.. You guys are the bestest best aswear.. Thanks thanks Thanks... May your Children neFer be as confused as me... 

Osheey Turn up! So I will like to in ANOTHER very special way say Ndo (Sorry) and Eweliwe( Don’t be angry) Wether we drown inside Lagoon or not, we shall not vote Ambode to all who endured all my NBA Voting Adverts on Instragram.. Pele.. At a time yeah gang, me sef a taya for myself.. but **in Erniesha’s voice.. What to do la?! We haf to hustle for vote noni… Oya EfEry boRRy icceeee…. **Whispers.. I think I met someone new on Blogger.. I mean I was tripping for her right from when she put up her birthday in Dubai post, and now that she is giving me GREEN light.. You no what.. scratch that.. hehehehe.. I don’t just see Green, I see all the colors of the Rainbow that Eniola is showing me.. hhehehe.. I think amma go in for the kill.. hehehehe Kwara here we come.. **Winks… Please help me Tell Egbon Toin that I will soon Dis- Sugar Mummy her oh!! Aha! Nah ToyoN!!! Its sooo not Fair!! You do know you 'IS' breaking my heart with all this distance ba?! Well **Wears straight face… Just so you know.. I haf met me a new somebory that is willing to Cougar me for free **Winks! And her name is the Calabar geh… So be kiaful oh! Or else in Craig Davies voice ehn.. **I’m walking away…. :)

So do you guys feel it gang?! Do you feel your youth fading away?! Do you feel your skin glow reducing?! Do you feel your once insatiable urge for sex and its activities dying, and your desire for responsibility and more money rising?! Well I don’t (pardon my language) Fucking know why yeah, but I have been feeling this way in the past 2 weeks.... Oh shit!! Aight I think I haf spiritual Malaria, cause I have been feeling relatively OLD of late.. I mean just yesterday I was 13, and the next I was 16, and the next I was 21 and now I am enroute 24.. Mehn! How scary can that get?! Screw my life! I am in Nsogbu! I mean how did I get here so fast?! How did this 7 year old mickey mouse and voltron fan with a million dollar smile that got all my aunties and and mothers friends giving me TLC and dashing me money.. how in the world did I  have all this hair all over my boRRy like a chimpanzee.. Mehn now I know I am old.. How do I know you ask?! **Deep Sigh… Legggooo... :(
I am old cause my urge for sex is dying! Yeah! You read that right.. Don’t be scared gang, I didn’t use my “Moses Rod” for Blood money ritual.. at least not yet... it’s just happening.. I think it started a couple of days to my last trip to Abuja… Prior to then, I was an **Scratches head.. Eyesore as regards **Clears throat… but recently yeah, the urge to do all the stupid making out and all the older and younger women Drama kinda faded like Nollywood ghosts.. I still dunno how it happened,.. I mean I knew the day would come but at just 23 years 3 months and 28 days?! How can I not want to get Laid so much no more.. How can all my midnight cravings just fade like a flash... How did my desire for the heat of a woman turn to Desire for the cold Naira and wisdom?! Damn! I am in trouble.. Damn! I am old...


I know I am old cause I watch the news now and not Soundcity.. I mean for as far back as I can remember yeah gang, I have been a fan of Wizkid.. You know in my head he is living the Nigerian dream.. He has a Porsche Cayenna, has a hot, sexy, beauRiful and i Reiterate EXTREMELY SEXY  onyibo geh friend, he has a truck load of cash, and he has all the shoes in the world… But of recent yeah, I have found my self less interested in what Wizkid has, except his bae sha.. I mean in my confused head, after Eniwealth **wears mr. Nigeria smile, Tania be my Dream kinda woman mbok …  I realize that my role model has shifted from a Wizkid to an Adebola Williams.. Its funny that I realize that I am more interested in Politics and the state of the nation.. That I watch Richard Quest and Donald Trump more than I do Trending and Prime Time Jamz.. heheheh.. I am more interested in governance, partnership, money, growth, building bridges to my future, and education.. Damn! I am old. Whats happening to me?! A don't BeLiF this aswear.. **crying in Catalan..

I know I am old cause I don’t do watsapp so much no more.. hehehe lemmme just say that if it were possible to get women pregnant via watsapp ehhnn.. I would haf been a Tu-Face Idibia by now **Wears Mr. Nigeria smile.. but thanks to the Stupid GLO which is ho-rr-ible at Festac, and a reason I cannot totally understand, I haf more self control now.. hehehehe I think the wahala I got into earlier this year kinda helped, but its more than that.. The amount of nude picshurs received and sent scares the hell outta me, and now.. Now that I feel the way I feel.. I fear my past not to hurt me… Now I know that I am old… cause image means a lot to me...

Finally I am old cause even though I am still broker than a coca cola bottle, I am not looking for a ghe friend but for a wife **Covers face…Strange yeah?! Well true that.. I should do a WCW today on IG, and it will be about Wajilda.. Since loosing her yeah, my life seems to have been difficult to re-adjust as regards lof.. I mean I tried a bit with Ribena, but the distance from Abuja to Lagos is mad.. and I support 1+ THE ONE’s view that LDR’s suck.. So now I find myself wanting to not date just a sexy geh that can make me cum my blood pressure double merely by holding her hand, but a girl who is homely.. A girl who is loveable, who is pretty and knows what she wants.. Fuck my life.. a neFer hexsperred to get to this level of confusion.. at least not now.. HacSTually ehn.. I am shocked.. But now that I am here.. Its sure that I am old.. So gang my kind kweshion this Wednesday morning is: Is it just me?! Do you feel this way too?! Am i okay?! Am i sick?! **Deep sigh…

Thank you for the past 7 minutes of your time gang, you do us a great honor.. My prayer for you is that all your nude picshurs will not go out in the open.. **cleans sweat.. Phewww.. merely the thought of that makes my heart beat faster sef.. hehehehe Cheers gang… OShey Turn up!

**Sits down well on Jangolofer chair! So March was madantin.. And I am sorry I really sucked at replying comments.. **in T-Notes voice.. I was RabBBIsh with Time Management mbok.. Insha Allah ehn  fam, we shall do berra in April, Ajala or not.. :)

In other news, I didn’t read as vast as I could in March, but I read some really Dope ghen ghen posts, and our Top 3 most ghen ghen posts were.. **Drum Rolls… **Flashlights.. **Cameras.. Action!

1. This Post By Nma: It was Frosh! Nma is a wonderful writer and has a unique style that is next to none..aswear.. Nma is running over with wisdom..

2. This wonderful Poem by Seyram. It had me thinking from my heart outwards.. about who I am.. Who i could be.. and who i try to be.. Its madantin gang i tell you.. Sey ram can write!!! Choi!!!

3. Hehehehehee #ThePROPOSAL post by the YnC team.. hehehe bet ofcourse.. we haf to hype ourself noni.. **Shines teeth

Asin the above 2 were frosh like that… and my blogger of the month was the amazing Janyl Benyl… Janyl goes up on our wall for her love, support and unquestionable motherliness all through March.. I can say that we connected on a whole different level, and having that she means the world and some more to me, It made me feel extra special.


Oya I know nah.. It haf over long.. Don’t fex… I wil like to say a very Huge Shout out to Blogoratti! Mehn!! I dunno if you are male or female, **Whispers.. I am yet to go make mad unprotected love to your blog, but thank you so much for the support.. You Rock aswear.. You are the bestest best.. and the crowd goess.. Yeeeaaah mehn! Loud shout out to amazing Calabar geh, the pretty Nma, the awesome E-Rella, the ever beautiful Favour, and all the YnC new friends… You guys are the real MvP aswear… You guys are my why… Egbon Toin, Atiya, Ms TLG, Gbemikoko, Tomi, Sykik, 1+THE ONE, and Mo (Baby mi). I miss you all like Kilode… :( ** In Lagbaja’s voice.. Wherever you go.. pa-ra-ran.. Whereverrrrr you are.. Pa-ra-raannn Baby baby babes you are neFer far awayyyyyy. Y’all always on my mind… **Tongue out.. hehehe at least this should get some of you to call me or send me an email at least **Wears Mr. Nigeria smile.. Osheeey Turn up! Do have a ghen ghen week fam, and mbok Dance like no one is watching and live your life with as much passion as you can muster, cause truly yeah, we dont know how much longer we have...


Instagram: youngandconfused_byjdb

#Udo #ItcanonlybeGOD

24 comments:

  1. Mehn that feeling is everywhere. Nice post man

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    1. Oooossshhheeeyyy Turn Up... Ice Baba... I am loyal to ya ministry Oga boss... you three much sir...

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  2. May our nude photos not go out I pray too........ JdB u r always a case. But true talk - at some point in our lives, we stop kidding around and start being serious like watching richard quest and adaure achumba instead of cartoon network and then wonder OMG!! What the hell happened *Sigh* ......

    I hope you had a Happy Easter my darling.......

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    1. Yes oh Calabar geh... **whispers haf i ever told you that this your name is tempting.. choi... it has me resisting temptationsssss.. heheheheheh its strange Bubba, how so quickly i haf gotten here.. i mean just yesterday i was a kid, and today i am a man... oftentimes yeah, I look at me in the mirror and almost ask my reflection: Who tha heck are you?! Issorait Bubba, shey na to old ni?! Insha Allah ehn We go old am in style... Thanks for the love Bubba, Easter was great... i will zoom over to yours ASAP... Cheers

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  3. Feeling old already...pssssh!

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    1. Yels ohhh Blogoratti... Really old sef... At this rate yeah, we might haf to change the name of the blog to OLD and confused sef **crying in Hausa...

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  4. Someone is growing up!
    He's becoming a man oh...... *wink*

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    1. Aha Ugo... do you want the You and I to quarrel ni?! I am complaining about being miraculously OLD, and you are there celebrating my complain... **crying in Anambra Igbp... its soooo not fair oh Bubba... Issorait... Just watch, i will do you back... **wears straight face...

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  5. Good news, someone is growing up
    When will the confused parts die out?

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    1. Ahan nah Mama... I am complaining bout being too old, and you already want me to stop being confused... aha.. Just like that?! All at once?! No nah.... thats not a good prayer oh... Confusion for me is a way of life nah... hehehehehehh but on a serious note Mother, the rate at which i am aging scares me,. Like play like play i go soon marry oh and then a human being will start to call me Daddy... Choi!!! iFear... **crying in Spanish...

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  6. I'm old because I don't collect pocket money from my parents anymore lol. It can pain sometimes. Growing up is a bittersweet feeling

    www.mololasblog.com

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    1. Mmmmeeehhhnnn Tomi you haf broken the Eagles back with your ghen ghen comment... hehehehe na that Pocket money own dey paiiiinnnme pass.. its scary yeah, how with age comes huge responsibilities?! Truly Bubba, it is a bitter sweet feeling to grow old... I haf craved it all my life yeah, and now that i haf it ehn baby mi, aswear i dunno what to do with it....

      Turn up Turn Up ladies and gentlemen... Tomi Molola is in the building gang... and the crowd goes Yyyyeeeaaahhh mehn... welcome on board Bubba, please dont leave us, we beg you in the name of Limca and LaCasera Apple.... please dont break whats left of our heart... please keep visiting the Young and Confused blog bubba... pretty please?!

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    2. Lmaoooooo you're such a character. Thanks for visiting my blog. Don't worry I'm here to stay. Mwahhh

      www.mololasblog.com

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  7. Still confused as always tiger. #Funny




























    #Mannie

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    1. Maaaaaa Nigga, since you haf chosen to call me tiger, i haf chosen to call you Lion... so Lion... how are you?! Mehn Confusion to me is like MTN, its everywher i go... **shines teeth... Mannie, you are a true Brover aswear...

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  8. Hmmm....Mr Duru!!! This is what I describe by keeping it real...thanks for being real. The world sure needs real people like you!....

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    1. Ewwwwwoooo.... Mariam e haf wash me and finish oh... she even used Jik and Hypo to soak me ontop... issorait.... #ItcanonlybeGOD... my I am glad you can relate to my confusions... it scares me what i write sometimes...

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  9. You sound afraid and still you sound not. Don't worry bubu you will make it BIG in life, you will especially with the amount of effort and 'life' *that is if I am correct tho* you put into life itself. Thanks for putting so much smiles on our faces. * side eyes * on another note, be like say you go like marriage gan, lol...

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    1. Amen oh Bubba... Amen.. Cause with each day i look at me in the mirror ehnn Rella.. Afraid use to catch me... **Scratches head... its not like i like marriave oh **shines teeth, but if i get a geh pregnant nah ehnn..Chisos. my own e haf finish Automatically, so the earlier i marry the berra... **shines teeth..

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  10. mehnn...i'malways feling young o... i laugh harder than laugh and play like a 2 yr-old... except that my friends won;t stop gettin married... jus this easter wekend 3 weddings and anoda one in june... they wannna make me feel old buh see the devil is a liar... we noda do competition... so i'm ever feeling young.. the pictures tho




    To remain sane as a Nigerian, you must be religious. And you must advertise your piety. Sleep in the church. Proclaim your religiosity from the rooftops. Mention God’s name in every conversation. In a land where there is so much madness, religion offers you the only opportunity to cling on to a measure of holiness. It is the only way to remind yourself that you are human after all, and that there is something that you still believe in. There are too many forces compelling you to disbelieve the very existence of God: you will see highly placed persons who are no better than scoundrels; wives of important persons who are no better than cheap prostitutes; men and women of power who are sexual perverts; fraudsters and common criminals who are nevertheless accorded the respect that they do not deserve; children who have sold their souls to devil; young girls who are in the hands of men who are old enough to be their fathers; and housewives who should be in Hell. To be a Nigerian, you can only look at all these and take your troubled soul to God.
    Click HOW TO BECOME A NIGERIAN to read.

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    1. Shuo!!! 3 weddings ke?! Just this Easter.. and you did not go and come and invite me to chop rice!! **wears straight face... mbok what kinda friend are you sef?! Inshort its over between me and you... heheheheheh Dont mind them jo, it aint no race, just dance like no one is watching and make the best of every single minute... its a journey this life, enjoy the scenery... Ooossshhheeeyyy Turn up... Favor, just like Clara, you came on here and everything became brand new... Thank you for loving us.. You Rock Baby mi... You are the best

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  11. So I found myself here.

    Hmmmm, even though I feel this post can be compiled into I a book, I still made sure to read till the end **im a lazy reader, you know?** I dont think you are getting old per say...you just getting wiser.

    Please click on my name for Fashion/Fitness/Beauty tips

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  12. When do guys begin to think of sex & begin to have sex if at 23 the cravings are already fading out for you?...#curious

    #Justcurious

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  13. This is funny, but also holds so much truth. I'm almost there. Well, I guess we all are going in that direction anyway. :)

    Have a fantastic weekend!

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