Wednesday, 1 April 2015

#ThePROPOSAL_ Turn uP! never Turn down...


Pre-script: Please can you be so kind as to vote for The Young and Confused Blog in the Nigerian Blog Awards?! We are in Category 11 (Best Humor Blog..). We beg you in the name of Baba dudu, choco Milo, Vicks Lemon plus.. (not Vicks blue oh!) and licky licky.. Kindly click on the Ghen ghen in capital to vote.. Oya see it here: This->> GHEN GHEN. Osheeeeeyy Turn uP! You are our why... Please Buhari us.. Please.. (Voting closes on April 6th). **Wears Puppy face.. Pretty please?!


Oossssshhheeey Turn up!!! **takes off confused Bracelet… **takes off wrist watch..  Turn Up Turn up ladies and Gentlemen.. What gwan?! How was the ElecShion.. I am sorry it took so long to put this my engagement post up mbok.. all the winchie winchie's in Umuaka didn’t want me to get married.. :) bet #naGODWIN.. So GMB won ba?! **deep sigh.. Mcheeewwww.. Welcome back to teh miltary regime gang... No comment… **In Eminem’s voice.. Have you ever loved someone so much you could give your all for ‘em.. No! I mean literally give your all for ‘em.. Cause you know they are your heart and they are your armour?!... Well that’s how I am feeling for you guys now, and lemme just sha tell you before we start nah.. ME and the entire #YnCTeam suffered for this post, my Brown timberland almost spoilt out of trek trek sef.. bet we thank heavens it is finally up... It is alllll of you guys.. .. **Points around like Erniesha.. Its you guys that made us go through sleepless nights and plenty fights with the people of this world because of this.. We pray this post makes you smile… Oya everybory iccccccceeeee....


You see yeah, my life has always revolved around confusions just like it was when T-Notes gave me a sense of direction... Aswear its crazy.com.. There have always been questions in my head.. KwesHions that don’t seem to have answers.. questions as to why i was always left alone, abandoned and hurt.. Hence this Blog was formed thanks to Janyl Benyl's inspiration, Love and support... But the day I saw @Ore and @Walase at KFC Festac, I knew right there and then that everything would settle in my head and that my life would seemingly begin to swell like soaked ijebu garri does.. And so it happened.. On that faithful day in 2006.. I saw her.. ghen ghen...

Her eyes sparkled like the night sky, and although I sat far away and could not understand shingbain of what they were discussing yeah… I longed to know her.. Not the yellow one that yellow geh that is shining like bulb oh **Tongue out.. But the one 




...with the long black hair... Mehn just like Beautiful Eagle  her hair although na Borrow borrow hair sha  is long like that of Rapunzel.. Her smile was somewhat perfect just like that of 1+ THE ONE...  So I braved up… stood up.. adjusted my shokoto, hid my confusions in my pocket (but small was still showing sha due to my origogoro orange seed hair bushy hair), and with my heart beating like a man about to have sex for the first time going kpo ki di gi Kpo gi di kpo… I approached their table like i was going for communion.... Unsure of what I was doing, but sure of what I wanted.. Uncertain of what would be like, teh same uncertainty i get in trying to figure out if  iBlog with grace  na man or woman… I went regardless... thinking my swag would suffice.. But no!! For where?! The kind of babanla "Askor" I got ehn, it almost made me piss on my boRRy.. I was distraught to say the least in big big english.. :(


As I approached their table with my hands in my pocket like Ice… I heard murmurs between them both… and Before I could even use my ghen ghen Barritone voice like iMannie to say  a word, she told me I wasn’t her type, told me that I was too small see pot calling kettle black, told me she needed a real man and not a child.. Aswear gang a neFer hexsperred it! And I felt like a rat on whom ice water had been poured on.. It broke my heart in pieces like cocacola bottle…


As I walked away, they laughed in their highest pitch of voice… mehn I felt cold.. like I just had a cold shower, came out and stood infront of an A.C on a harmattan filled day.. I felt like I was no good, felt like all the fake life I was living and even the Versace glasses I was dashed was all a waste, as they didn’t pay off. Immediately i began to feel less than up to par, but I shook that off like Egbon Toin taught me.. I instead chose to feel like I needed to work harder, to be myself, and to not quit.. I chose not to impress, but to express... and just like i learnt from Rella Naija,  I chose to take it upon myself to begin “Dancing like no one was watching”.. 

I immediately remembered what I read from both my Tweenies blog  amd Enikoko's blog a while ago, about how ladies discussed every guy they met in Private waiting and hoping for him to see the silent green light they are flashing... I immediately in my head sha saw not only green light oh! but all inshort all the colors of the rainbow.. That was teh eureka moment that I knew "maybe I had hope with this babe" hence I told myself that regardless of the fact that I had been turned down yeah, I would once again try AGAIN to either Love or be loved like the beautiful Sophie taught me to… I knew that one day some day yeah, Gbo gbo e a da like mama and papa taught me.. I chose to Turn down for Nada..... So I kept keeping on…


... you know gang It was one of those days.. One off those days that I didn’t have complete transport money to board a bus from Costain to Festac, neither did i want to disturb King Ashraff nor my Egbons toh sure Sykik, ToyoN, Clara or Ausserehl with my problems, one of those days that I had to trek to live and on which I was complaining about all my imperfections.. My thin sexy legs.. my orange seed hair.. even the yellow color and intensity of the sun was not spared.. (kai.. The sun was so hot, it could boil female goat meat in less than 20 minutes..)... The fact that my family wasn’t rich enough… the fact that I was lonely and alone at the same time and all.. and then Bam!!! Like a ray of sunshine. you know nah, the way Moby is on blogsville… I saw her.. aswear a nefer hexsperred it faaa! And seeing her immediately  made me wear the same smile I wore when Cee dropped the first ever comment aside from Janyls on my blog.. I felt alive… :) 

Immediately my mind flashed back to the eatery.. Wow!! What would I do?! I asked myself… I wasn’t well dressed, hell I was even wearing Color Riot sef.. **Crying in Spanish.. Was I to hide and let her walk pass.. Was i to impersonate a mad man and act the part by jumping into the bush?! Was I to turn back and walk the other way?! Was I to approach her again?! I was so young and confused i almost went to a pay center to Call Onyilola for advice.. But there was none.. I had to decide… As I approached her gang, she had this the "Devil wears Prada" and "Approach me and get shot" demeanor.. But I told myself, I would try one more time Like Buhari.. and If I failed! IF I FAILED... then I would know that I at least tried… I decided I would be me this time... No swag, no forming to be wort Naira 2, 800, 000 when I am not, no fakeness.. Just me... So I braved up AGAIN and approached her AGAIN. Heheheh She saw me and immediately had this "don’t near me oooo" look.. hehehe the kind that Amaka would have towards a guy she didnt like..


Sadly yeah, this time it was worse.. She failed to bat an eye.. and immediately I excused her.. She said "what" like a woman that had mental problem.. hehehehehe Aswear gang... ashame caTSh me no be small.. I mean all I wanted was a little of her time.. just like I do of Changing Post Code, all I wanted was to know who this beauRiful geh who was as fine as Buiti was .. All I wanted was to know her more like I want to do Atinuke, Atiya, Anuoluwapo and Lohla windfall as there was something all so endearing about her… But she was too stubborn to hear me speak.. I mean **In Dr. Sids voice.. There is something about this gehhh ooo... There was something about her.. she was fine like mami water... As she was both as as stylish as Agbani, but yet still as godly and decent as Tomi.. Sadly she  just didn’t want to listen.. with her coconut head.. Why?! Evenn the beautiful and classy Seyram and Modupe give me a bit of their time, so I couldn’t get Why!!! Wasn’t I good enough?! Why did she even detest seeing me?! and my swag?! What was wrong with me?! Guess I couldn’t tell… But I neFer knew that it was all a test for consistency.. I never knew that each time she turned her back on me yeah, she smiled at my silly jokes just like the amazing Mzz Your's truly does.... I neFer knew.. So did I give up?! Hell no!.. Trust woman wrapper me nah.. I chased her down just like I still do Ms TLG, Temmie, Alphasoar and Ronnie.. I just couldn’t let her  go.. No never!! 


So I tried Again…Like I learnt to do from the beautiful CIA Engr. Cliverly, and decided not to give up like the beauRiful Peace Itimi .. She said NO! and pushed me away...


Oshey Turn up!!! She touched me.. So body contact was a good sign that she liked me.. Hence i tried againnn... Like I learnt from Sussanne to not give up on what I want…

But this time she said No with a shout! But trust me nah **Winks... I tried again as if  Funmi Reese, Vira and Esther koko were pushing me from behind :)



+some I did the mushy mushy face Wajilda taught me and some more 


But she said No again!!! Mehhhnn Gang! Me thtat cannot give up on fine geh no gree oh! I enter crying mode one hand.. I cant carry last nah.. So I tried again again and again… till she almost punched me in the face sef like the troublesome Zoe would do… bet you see me! hits chest.. Duru Adolphus Jnr. Obereagu... me, my bushy head, young brain, confused mind, bushy hair and my toothpick legs weren’t going to quit on woman Marra oh! noway...regardless.. so As Gbemi taught me on not quitting on a dream no matter the pain as she does with her jogging.. and staying away from shawama.. I wouldn’t quit on this.


And just when I thought to quit.. Ooossssshhheeey turn up!!! I tried once more.. and her frown became a smile.. Oya everybody Iiiicccceeeee... A very beautiful smile came forth.. Like that similar to that of the sexy and smart  Soggie and the beautiful one time Igbo Uni Queen Nma … I had broken through.. Oshey Turn uP!! I kuDnt beliFit.. My excitement couldt  be defined in cash.. It was equitable to what I FELT when I met calabar geh.. My unceratinty was cleared… So in the words of Eniwealth..  I kontiNhhud to toast her with all my strength like Lastborn does with his blog… The more she laughed, the more my mumu grew.. I had washed my teeth with so much closeup the night before, it was as white as the beautiful template on Kenya’n bloggers’..  blog.. hehehehe... And she just kept laughing.. and i just kept doing close up advert and smiling like a fish... It was "love after embarassment" as we kept going.. I wanted to collect her number, but since my phone was charging at those 50 naira per phone stores, I had to use Biro…. Thank Heavens Amaka taught me to be prepared always like boysscout…So I brought out the green biro i used to write my degree exams.. and took down the number before the babe come and go and change her mind mbok…


Her smile was as perfect as that of Sharon Ifeoma.... everything was sublime and peaceful as it is on Atinuke and Atiyas blog.. Everything was nice... and the crowd goes.. Aaawwwwwgghhhh...


Right there right then I knew I had found her like Favor Moyse just saw this bae's picshur now..  In www.sykik.blogspot.com 's voice.. .. "oh my Daaayyysss.." no scratch that days part.. na  "Oh my monthsss and yearsss.." she fine like that oh!!!! like mermaid.. Chisos i trip mbok and Lux whom I wasn’t willing to ever let go off had found in me.. There she was, The Young in my Confused, the Erniesha to my Mofaya, the Ying in my Yang like Buiti, the Janyl in my Benyl.. My Adaeze A.k.A Otunne, my Wajilda, my Ribena.. my support.. So I didn’t waste no time.. I mustered all I could, went to @Afriklilo and ordered a 100 carat gold plated but covered in wood bracelet.. heheheheheh iPray ooo before nko, did you think I would buy ring?! Shuo! Today is April fools day nah, not valentines day..  I don’t have that kind of money oh…

And when the mood was right.. I called her to RexRose.. under the shine shine bobo light.. i Went on my toothpick knees and asked her the very important kweshion.. **clears throat.. I said..

"Mariam Ore.. Will You blog with me for the next 3 months?!" 

And she smiled, cried small crocodile tears iPray oh!.. and said yes JdB.. Yes I will… My heart leapt for joy like super Mario... cause **in Wajildas voice Yeah, HacStually!!! I nefEr Hexsperred it…

#YoungandConfusedAfrica…

THE END...

Hearty shout out to @Walase the crazy geh that was laughing at me in the picture above.. The one shining like bulb... Why?!


1. Cause she paid for all those food above, hence we were eating it small small so it will not finish on time.. Noticed ba?! Opportunity comes but once.. that was my night food that day...

2. She was Director of Photography.. cause we used her iPhone6 nah.. Automatic FREE hype..

3. She has been a back bone to Young and Confused /The Blog/ by JdB .. and was one of the reasons I started blogging.. She was the first Blogger friend I had and taught me what a blog was…

So Fam.. That’s it! #ThePROPOSAL.. Introducing @YoungMariamOre.. She shall be handling Wednesday posts for a bit.. I hope she likes it here.. I beg you to show her as much love as you have me, cause in all sincerity gang, there is no Young and Confused without you... Please support her fam.. Please support us.. Pretty please… I beg you in the name of First Bank that it always deducting my money for mumu SMS alert... mcheewww... Please Turn up every Monday and Wednesday Mbok... Dont forget to please vote for us here (under Category 11) if you can.. Pretty Please?!Oossshheey Turn uP!


#Udo #ItcanonlybeGOD…

56 comments:

  1. lol@...'yellow geh that is shining like bulb'.
    Cool story bro, congratulations on your engagement and all the best for the future.

    Question time: Did you actually approach her dressed like that, the first time? And did you actually write down her number on your hand?

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    1. hehehehehehehehehe Yes oh! I hacSTually did.. When I met Mariam Ore yeah, I was Lekpa like Bonga Fish and she was super Fine like Kilode.. Didnt have a Phone back in 2006, so I actually wrote down her number **Covers face. hehehehe Thank You Oga Boss.. You see why you Rock sir?! You are the real MVP Sir Boss... OOssssshheeey Turn uP!

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  2. JdB iyaf kee me with laughter o. Nice story. Welcome Mariam!

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    1. Thank you Bubba, I thank GOD you could relate to this utterly confused story.. **Shines teeth... :)

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  3. Hahahahaha. This is just so funny and totally hilarious. I definitely loved working with you JdB and Miriam. U both are awesome and I look forward to more collabos.

    @blogoratti - yes o. I am the shining bulb in his life 😃 don't mind the silly ass. And yes - dats how he decided to approach a babe o; dressed like an Allien. Anyways, trust me - I gave him the insult he deserves.
    And he actually wrote the number on his hand o ( although that was my idea 😉). Awesome right 😄. I know - I am great like dat.

    @miriam - welcome darling. I look forward to your posts and I wish u all da best.

    Cheers,
    @walase - follow me on IG.

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    1. Oosssshheeey Turn uP! Gang meet @Walase.. My Most WahalaFULL friend.. heheheheheheh I love her Like Kilode.. :)

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  4. This was such an interesting read! I totally enjoyed reading it and it was pretty funny too!!

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    1. Yyyaaaaaayyyyy Finally Seyram visited! Oosssshheeey Turn uP! kai! You Ehn Bubba!!! Since 19kokoro! You just abandoned us sinceeeeeee.. Diarisgodoooo :( Thank GOD you could relate to our confusion Bubba, you are our why :)

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  5. Duru please I need you to play this proposal with me na!!!!!!
    Welcome Miriam ♡
    😂

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    1. hehehehehehehehehehe Gladly! You know that you are my Ms. Blogsville nah **covers face.. Just gimme a time and place and i will "Rainter Ghost" to your location :)

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  6. It was indeed an interesting read...enjoyed every bit of it...#endychris

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    1. Yyyaaaaaaa Endy Chris.. Osheeey Turn Up!! Please dont be a stranger Oga Boss. Please lets connect Sir.. :)

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  7. Thanks @Morayo, @Tolu, u r a darling! Thanks a millons!...yellow geh that is shining like bulb!...lol!
    I am so glad to be here. JdB thanks for the opportunity... Sleep tight guys...lots of love.

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    1. Ladies and gentlemen.. Say Helllluuurrr to the amazing Mariam Ore :)

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  8. @beautiful eagle, about the role....u would have to speak to our director....@walase

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  9. @ the Young and Confused I can see you have spiralled to Jupiter again with your 1000 coherent words per minute, Welcome back. @ Miriam definitely looking forward to your posts at least you look brighter and 'earth like' than Mr confused. Welcome dear #hugz#

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    1. hehehehehehehehehehehehehehehhehehehehehehe Rella! Always cracking me up :) lmao! Thanks for Loving us Bubba, you Rock aswear! You really do.. :)

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  10. Replies
    1. Oossssshheeeeey Turn uP! Thanks Nma You Rock pass Kilimanjaro :).. In other news, Biko ebe ki je?!

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  11. A wonderful proposal - looking forward to wednesdays with @Mariam Ore......

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    1. Oosssssshhheeeeeeyyy Turn uP! Thanks Calabar Geh! You are the Real MvP Aswear..:)

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  12. Lmaooo this Duru is a mess and half i swear

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    1. hehehehehehehehehehehehehe And i love you Too Egbon.. **Blows Confused Kisses... :)

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  13. see eh!!! once wont be enough for me to digest this post. i'll read it again.

























    #Mannie

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    1. Mmmaaaaaaaaa Nigggaaaa.. **Covers face.. You Rock Sir :)

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  14. Duru!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    Duru!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    Duru!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    How many times I call you? ROTFL* You're the best. Shine bright hunnay! You put so much work into this, nice one and glad you had Tolu and Mariam's support.
    #ialreadyvoted

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    1. Awwwwgghhh You need to see me blushing like a Barbie Doll Baby mi.. You Rock EniKoko.. You Really do aswear! Thanks for being my Green BeauriFFul Traffic light **Wears Mr. Nigeria smile.. You Rock Bubba, aswear you do!

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  15. Kai I'm speechless... I'll be back

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  16. Duru of life!!! U know what linked me up to this post?? Was the proposal picture o loool I tot "Duru yaf engage another girl" hehehhehehe

    A lot has really been happening o and I've missed it all. Welcome Mariam!

    Gonna make sure I stick round more often.

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    1. hahahahahahahahhahahah Awgh! deez nuts.. heheh I gotcha! lmao!! Thanks for coming by Temmie.. my I miss them good oldies.. You, I, Amaka and Erniesha.. **Smiles.. Please come back.. Pretty please... :( Osheey turn up!! Thanks for visiting Bubba.. You Rock aswear...

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  17. I just remembered....thanks 4 d mention papi, never knew I was still counted as one of YnC blog fam. *hugs....

    Hi every1 @Mobi, Amaka, Buiti, yourstruly, Icelaw, Ernie,and lots more. Can't mention u all

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    1. Awwwwwgghhhh Once a Member, always a member :)

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  18. always naughty



    Have you met the perfect couple? The two soulmates, whose love never dies? The two lovers, whose relationship is never threatened? The husband and wife, who trust each other completely? If you haven’t met the perfect couple, let me introduce you. They stand atop a layer of butter-cream frosting. The secret of their success? Well, for starters, they don’t have to look at each other. Read more HERE

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  19. DURU YOU WON'T KILL SOMBORI.....hahahahahah...... bad guy.

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    1. Oooooossssshheeeeeeeeey turn uP! Sheeeessssss backkkk.. :)

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  20. Duru ehn hahaha, you won't kill Sombori...... Kai this post nice ehn, as in dem dey do morning prayer for my house I dey read this post, but oga boss it was worth it..... Congratulations for taking our business to a whole new level,..... This post just lightened up my mood today.

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    1. Awgghhh Iceeeeeee, no go dey play with Olorun oh biko, make Baba no vex for us.. :) Thanks Oga Boss. #ItcanonlybeGOD

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  21. That was fun to read. :)
    Happy Easter!

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    1. Thanks Lux, I thank GOD you could relate to the confusion above.. Happy Belated Easter to you too Lux the Amazing.. **Wears Mr. Nigeria smile..

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  22. Replies
    1. Well Thank Ya! OOooooosssssshhhheeeeey! Turn uP! The Amazing Cladora came by! **Shines 32 upcoming white teeth! Please dont be a stranger Bubba, pretty please.. :) Please dont go :(

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  23. Loool! This Duru guy!!!
    T.Notes

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    1. T-Notes Baba! This is who you have created eh Oga boss.. A young confused boy with a purpose.. **Shines teeth :)

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    1. Osssssshheeey Turn uP!! Mehn Anu can know how to Fine shaaaaa.... iTrip!

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  25. This was awesome!!! With 50 shades of jokes lol. Welcome mimi. Looking forward to the Confused Wednesdays

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    1. Ooosssssssshhheeeey Turn uP! The amazing Igbe Obina in the building Ladies and Gentlemen... **Shines teeth.. **Whispers.. This is my mentor for life.. :) **MBok Standing Ovation People if you can :)

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  26. @Tolu Ayoola: thanks for the answers! Yes, yes, you are great like that.

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    1. Ah!!! Blogoratti Baba, please dont Let Tolu's head swell oh! :) You Rock Oga Boss.. You are the bestest best... :)

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  27. Lmao... seriously I fell off the chair. This guy is a case... but enjoyed every bit.

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    1. Yyyyaaaaaaaayyyy.. Hiya EveryboRRy, please meet Nike.. my T.F.P crush of all time.. **Shines teeth.. Thanks for coming By Baby mi, You are amazing like that.. #ItcanonlybeGOD

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  28. Duruuuuuuuuu! You will go places and I will brag about you everywhere I go!

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    1. Amen Otunne.. I am humbled to a fault by your words.. Meeting you was heavenly Ada, and I thank Heavens we are still connected... You Rock Bubba, aswear you do :)

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