Monday, 4 May 2015

15- for-15 Challenge_ Family (May Post): Sorry :(

7: 50 AM
Prescript:! FUCK!!! I mean I haven’t crossed any boarder in my life yet, but fuck.. Why is the Nigerian Government so blAddy insensitive. Case Scenario.. You owe petroleum Marketers 356 Billion Naira ("As claimed") and you have teh money. You hold the cash in ya pocket waiting for them to cry fowl... I mean why not pay them the money you owe them?! Why wait till they hold the entire country to ransom before you pay them?! ...And then With all Due Respect Mrs Ngozi Okonjo- Iweala comes out and calls them Unpatriotic.. and I am like Fuck my life.. See Pot Calling kettle black :(… Is it the Govt that issues IOU till it gets to Billions that is unpatriotic, or the people that ask for their "own" money?! (GLOBACOM NG 95690- 45369- 85395)

2:20 AM
**Removes cobwebs from Laptop.. **Then blows breeze of environmental sanitation on keypad.. **Then cleans Keypad wit big bros old red bandanna…  (Okay I really had to clean the keypad, they were gumming guming) Ossssssshhheeeey Turn uP! Whats cracking gang?! How was ya Weekend?! How was the gbo gbo turning up and down?! Hope in the Legendary Frank Donga's voice you didn’t leave it like that oh, but you Turned it Up?! So lemme just start by complaining.. 7: 50 AM First I just got to the office and its 7: 50… Aswear I haf  to finish editing this within 45 minutes or I am fucked again! See what happened this morning..  We left Festac late, and I had to alight at CMS. Now I left home with only N 120 liquid cash in my Wallet, and all my many many Empty (Okay not totally empty sha) ATM cards.. On geRRin to CMS, the transporter goons said EKPO ti won ju, hence we had to pay 150 to get to Eko Hotel. I was like AHA!!! Why today?! So that was how me and my All stars fot wear and chaep Mr Price clothing Cc Toin :) We turned the beach shirt to office cloth oh :).. were standing o the main road looking for bus and begging the conductors with style :(.. All cause of the stupid Federal Government. :(.

2; 20 AM Did I tell I suffered no be small ninu public Holiday that e haf just finish?! For some reason I am writing this post from my room which is very strange.. My Ogas at the top that I used to do join borry with to Victoria Island sent me a message that we shall be beginning our isrealite journey by 6:40 AM today and I was like Huh?! **Whispers I just learnt how to use this “huh” someRRin lori blogger, so amma abuse it before I stop :p  That is why I am using the Laptop oh! I haven’t used this laptop to do nada since 19kokoro.. The bad thing is this is one of those laptops that need power bank, as once Nepa e haf take light ehn.. Laptop e haf off **crying ins Catalan Cc Seyram.. Talking about awon oniranu ni wion ma kpe NEPA.. For the record ehn Gang, NEPA in Festac is by far the the most USELESS of them all..  I mean read my Sexy kissable lips.. "they are the most USELESS NEPA in the world.." These goons will not come and give someboRRy light through out… but will be bringing stupid-stupid bill at month end.. I mean through the weekend/holidays we didn’t haf Fuel at the Duru's Mansion :) If I don’t hype our house, who will?.. cause Fuel is not kuku dey in the Nation… I mean if you had fuel in Festac  during the weekend ehn, then you are either doing Oil Bunkery or a Black Market someboRRy or your Father is working with NNPC.. so anyhow sha we all had to go hustle for petrol.. That was how I wore my customary all black everything  and headed to go and do James bond at the petrol station.. I was furious in my spirit ready to kill someboRRy that day oh.. but gang ehnn..  It was piRRiful.. Kai! It was so sad that this young and confused boy (AIRTEL NG 1543011- 211913-153) **points at self :( had to be at the Petrol station for about 5 hours on May 1. As in na so I lie down on top carton dey wait fuel like refugee **in Ernieshas british Jamaican Accent.. Fuck my Life.. Which way Nigeria?! No Fuel, No Power, No GEHFRIEND, no Money, and Plenty heat. Inshort as I did not  die this weekend ehn, I will not die again #Dasall. I need to do stoway and leave Nigeria bikonu.

So like play like play the 15 for 15 challenge is going fast fast oh, that was what I was telling the adorable Cee in the 2014 edition, by the time we sleep and wake up nah, e haf finish… 

Is it just me or Do you guys hate the word sorry?! For the record saying that word used to make omololomo feel one kain biko (hehehe the amazing Habeebah taught me that phrase) I mean no maRRa what I do, I feel there is always a reason behind it.. A strong reason why I did it, so I never see reasons to apologize. Lemme tell you why.. Growing up in our home ehn we had more Commandments than the Isrealites, and the one that I remember the most was a) Never increase the Gold Star television louder than 25 and b) Never make noise in the upstairs parlour once 8:00 PM e haf reach. Heheh Those days ehn, if we failed at any of these two, mehn It WAS finished oh!  Barr. Duru would come out with shoe and give us the whooping of life..  You do know there is a difference between being flogged by belt or cane and being hit on the head by kin shoe with wooden sole?! Sadly i was the SCape goat most times, So after my father would hit me with one of them Koin Koin shoes.. I would go on Silent war with him.. If I see the guy I no go greet.. If he passes by I will carry my book and be forming reading and all.. It was serious oh! Back then there had to be a reason to sha not talk to him cause I was always being hit… but 1 thing i remember is that my Father hardly ever said sorry.. I mean his way of sorry was: 


...and god will bless you when you go and mumu  yaself  and carry the meat due to Longer throat,  cause right there  and then the fight e haf finish. :) **Whispers I am saving this post per line because of NEPA.

Now due to the kind fact that in the last decade, I haven't spent so much time with Dr. Duru as we have been kuku going from pillar  to post in search of Certificate noni, it has been forever since we quarreled **Wears Evil Grin, but we had series of reasons to quarrel  last week… Oh well **In Shaggy's voice..  **Wears Innocent smile… “It wasn’t me..” Now the quarrel was kinda tough sha oh, and after we had shouted on each others head and finish, it was time to say Sorry.. Now as a full anti-sorry someboRRy and due to the fact that I love my sister more than I will ever love any geh friend.. It was had for me to not apologize, hence you needed to see yours truly battling with his conscience up and down lori this  sorry someRRIn..  it was like “JdB Apologize” and I was like “Hell no! I wasn’t wrong..” So anyway, I found a reason that needed me to Drop my ATM card at home for spending purpose, and I officially used it as my “TAKE THIS  MEAT” stance and kapish (ETISALAT NG 446- 324- 481- 064- 536) ...sorry was said..:D However sha, yesterday afternoon after she suffered and cooked Sunday rice with a ghen ghen stew, me and my Brother went and took all the food in the pot and didn’t leave her with pichikom.. Mehn that one I said sorry over 10 times oh, cause we no dey take food play.. Her eyes were red bi Close up! :( Omo I said sorry till she said Junior its okay.

I for one believe that  **I am thinking of a particular big English..  I believe that being apologetic about a particular thing don’t mean that you are sorry about it.. I mean my Mum taught us to say Sorry a lot… and back date 5 years ago.. I used to say sorry for everything, even for things I knew deep within me I was going to do again :p.. I personally think we truly need to show  remorse for when we err, and I am learning that it don’t all boil down to saying I am sorry…but really meaning  it! It don’t boil down to word but to actions…

So in the light of the kind fact that guy man e haf not iron cloth that he will wear through this week, my sermon today is simple.. Rather than say I am sorry, Show it.. I know everyboRRy says that Sorry is a magic word and kini-kan kini-kan.. but life is teaching this 23 years 4 months 23 days young and growingly confused man that it is more impoRRant to really be sorry, than to just say it, cause on the long run yeah… words are nothing without action… plus having that I love Barr. Duru pieces and to me after GOD na him be next on the hierarchy,  I support his way of apologizing.. I mean  call me proud or any thing oh, but I have learnt to take “Come and Take this meat” as a far berra way to show love and born-AGAINISM, than saying sorry and not meaning it.. To me sorry is just a word that many people spew and never really mean..  
And the crowd goess. Oooossssshhhheeey Turn uP!.

Oya bye bye.. I haf to go and Iron before this mumu Festac Nepa take light again.. I will Edit this is when I get to my Jangolova Chair (we done did it ).. Thank you for the past 7 minutes of your time Gang, my Prayer for you is that going into this week, you will not have cause to beg for FUEL, but that your Generator and motor shall be running (MTN NG 3854-5578-5588) over nyafu Nyafu with plenty Petrol… Berra say Amen oh! cause Before you know it  now, my Ndi Igbo brothers will add 100 litters of Fuel to the Bride Price List… Mehn in Toinlicious amazing Bedroom Voice.. Its not a Joking Sturvzz oh... Happy new Month Gang.. May the month of MAY be filled with GOD'S overflowing blessings for us and ours.. Can I hear an hallelujah someboRRy?! 

P.S: So I am blowing big cuddly warm wet French kisses to @BooksandChocolates  a YnC reader I met via Instagram.. Oya Baby mi.. Blow ya own back via comment section, or our relationship lori Whatsapp will **in my Egbon Clara’s voice.. Be dead and buried in the water **Wears Straight face.. Oya bye bye.. Lemme go and Iron. Cheers…

Blogger Status:
The YnC Reader of the month of April has got to be the beauRRiful OnyililolaSobowale.. I mean that lady and I connected on a whole different level this last month, and I am mega grateful to GOD that I know her.. **Shines teeth. Her picture is the one to the upper left of the blog.. If I haf not put it yet.. Sha be patient.. I will…

My best 3 posts of the month of April were:

  1. This post by Nma! Mehn this child can write.. dayummmmm.
  2. This post by Onyilola… Always keeping it Frosh I see..
  3. This post by Favour:! Favour is an amazingt writer with a wisdom  far beyond our age… If you think I am lying… click her name.
3b. Mehn if you missed this post by my Blog Mother  ehnn, then you have been sleeping on top of bike all April.. When I read it I was like huh! Heheheh I am murdering this word. I had to be even sure it was mama who did it. :)

P.S: About the airtime, omololmo is broke like that, and of recent my money (regardless how small) has not been my own, as I am doing one too many things at  once.. please accept the token.. and please take just one.. Please oh **Shines teeth..

#Udo #ItcanonlybeGOD


  1. Replies
    1. Omo... a NeFer hexsperred it... lmao... Bubba i will read it ASAP.... Ooooooosssshhheeeyyy First to Comment toh Sharp... **Wears Mr. Nigeria smile....

  2. Hi Bubba♡♡♡♡
    Your doing well *wink*

    1. **Singing she be ,y fine fine fine lady eh... fine lady... **covers face outta shyness.... Awwwwggghhhh see as you are making me blush like Tomato... :) Thank you for loving us Bubba. Oooooooooossssshhhheeeeyyyy Turn uP!

  3. Happy new month, hopefully it will usher in new beginnings. Hang in there and best wishes!

    1. Happy new month Oga Boss Blogoratti of the Federal Republic of the Universe ** shines teeth... Bigger you i pray sir, and plenRRy of GOD'S blessings on you and yours this month and always... Thank you Baba, we dont die we multiply.... we dance like no one is watching... Thats yhe rule of engagement ;) Ooooooooosssssshhheeeyyy Turn uP!

      P.S: Biko where is the bread you bought from your travel travel nah?! **wears straightest face...

    2. Oga, my travel never finish. But its just bread you want right, no worries!

    3. No oh chief of staff... Only bread ke?! Man shall not live by bread alone nah.... so in addition to the Onyibo bread, **Wears Evil mischievious smile, i will also like a Play Station 4, an iPad mini, a new geh friend, and a white Timberland boot... plus a back up geh friend incase the first one runs... hehehehe i do know that you can deliver as always nah... **Shines teeth...

      **In 's voice, thank you for always sir... You have been a strong pillar of growth in all this while... Ore and I are indebted to you sir... And the crowd goes Ooooooooooosssssshhhheeeyyyyy Turn uP!

  4. I hate saying sorry kai...really I dont and everyone thinks its pride buh really its not. I only say it when I mean it jor...I can't come and go and come and die...hehe.
    Wasap huni. Me miss you plenty..hehe

    Happy new month oga...turn upppp

    1. Hahahahahhahahahaha @ "I can't come and go and come and die" Moby Koko you are Epic aswear. Hehehheheheheh really?! Mehn this is a new one oh, amma steal it.. **winks... Truly Bubba, i for one believe that apologyshould go beyond words, as actions matter a whole lot, hence no be by to dey talk sorry up and down, but what matters is truely showing it. How are you Baby mi?! Moby mi toh Sexy... Blogger mi toh Funny... my Gino TinTomato lati Jos... my Mobylicious Moby... Happy New month to you and yours Baby mi, GOD'S blessings and more is what i wish yall... Oya let the people of the lord say Oooooooossssshhheeeyyyy Turn uP! **In 's voice... Thanks Moby for always... You Rock Baby mi... Thank you for loving us regardless our many fuck ups...

  5. Will be back later just landed from an 8 hour flight. The plane was really slow and the AC was just blowing dust. Am so bus lagged. Let me catch a lil sleep in my 8 star hotel. Duru watch my space.

    1. Hahahhahaahahahhahahahhahahah Epic Rella... That is too little a word to describe you sef... You are over Epic aswear... Which one is blowing dust?! Hahahhahahahhahaga issorait Oh... FEAR NOT my Angel, I have assigned nightwatch to monitor ya space for you **wears cheeky smile... Its yours for the taking alone... Thank GOD for journey mercies Baby mi... Bet wait first oh, shey you willl not carry me and put in ya portmento so i can tele you to all these ya many many travels ni?! **wears Mr. Nigeria smile... where have you been all my life Baby mi, you Rock aswear Rella, you really do.... and the crowd goes Oooooooossssshhheeeey Turn uP!

    2. Duru ehh!! *shines Maclean white teeth*. So you are forming stubborn rat for ya fada abi? See ya kpokoro head, you think it's easy to bring up a good man like you? Hey its not, always give him credit for that and more, as in don't give him a reason to feel he didn't train you well or try for you..hehe. Bottom line is always try and make him happy. Hian you don old oo monkey sorry Mr Naija! Anyways learn the act of saying sorry and meaning it cos it does make people feel better you hear???

  6. Sorry kwa?! Na the fuel matter concern me. Can't imagine buying for any amount above 100naira. Afi unpatrotic Nigerians na, she should take several seats abeg.
    I do say sorry, but rarely mean it.

  7. I'm sorry isn't too hard to say na, some people are just too proud to say it, while some always ask for it even when not necessary like its their birthright.

  8. Very simple word that's often taken for granted. Is that a fact for African parents though?
    Thanks for discussing this relevant issue. :D

  9. Actually my dad never hit us it was mum who was the disciplinarian! What did she not use? Every Saturday she would pick up four canes for all four of us and we would hide it above the curtain platform where she couldn't reach up too(we are way taller than mum ) so yes, dad would apologize when he didn't say, do something he promised he would apologize. But mum? Naaaaa she didn't believe parents should apologize to kids no matter what!

  10. African parents will never say sorry no matter what. They think Adults are always right

  11. So after all the recognition and special dedication, where is my picshur abi did i miss it???

  12. There must be a handbook for African parents everywhere, as in they have to read it/pass the exams before their allowed to become parents. Otherwise how do you explain the fact that they're so similar?

    Have a lovely week aburo. It's been a while...


  13. Duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuru!