Monday, 11 May 2015

Live and let Live Biko...


Pre-Script: Please Please please gang.. Come over to the blog for Wednesday's with Mariam.. She is frosh like that and so full of wisdom.. I beg you in the name of Petrol :) Oya thank ya don't menSHion :).

**Wipes spiritual sweat.. **Looks at right hand… Kai what I have done with this my hands in this my short life ehn!! LawddavMercy! **takes off confused Bracelet.. Good morning great  young minds.. what gwan gang?! Whats the 411?! Kilonpop?! Kilonshele?! Kilon freaking happen ninu aye e?! okay so I have been geRRin into some serious Woman troubles of recent cause of this my yeye lifestyle.. its so bad that I got a couple of strange IM’s.. Okay don’t call me a pervert orrr a Woamn wrapper or a Home breaker oh! cause I am definitely not.. I like to see myself as a Young and Confused 23 years 4 months 30 days old child who just likes to Dance like no one is watching….. That’s fair enough yeah?!  Aight so lemme Amebo you a  bit gang.. Last month a Friends husband read a couple of sex related chats I sent to his wife.. and lets just say if I near their house in Rivers state yeah, I am dead :(…  And as if that wasn’t enough  trouble… Someone's Boyfriend just outta the blues wrote me a message on Facebook saying and I quote “stay away from MY Girl” hehehe Really ya geh! Haf you pay bride price ni?! heheheh and I was like lobatan! If you haven’t married her she is free in the market.. I didn’t tell him that oh, but I washed him with Hypo and my guy calmed down :).. And to put icing on the cake.. One geh said to me last week.. “JdB god will judge you for all the innocent girls you have been deceiving” and I am like AH!! Me ke?! I did not deceive anyboRRy oh! Its official gang having that I am not ready to die or have a broken head… I need to quit this life and either get married.. Orrrr start donating sperm for 20k a case :)… orrrr Join the monastery.. Cause if I goan come and give Omolomo Pregnancy before I hit 27 ehn.. My Papa is definitely gonna disown me and the child. Nuff said.. Say no to my kind of life when my head is not in control or is it my HEAD that is actually in Control?!

Growing up.. My father was a big fan of Late Chief Oliver d Coque.. I mean my Dad was a rolling stone and player Player  like that when he was younger, sooo he would literally blast his record all day on Sundays while my mum would be making pepper soup or something in the kitchen.. Mehhnnn I had a relatively fun growing up oh! Where did all those fun times go?! Now the ish was I had no idea what the Phrase “Mbili oh! Mbili kam Mbili” in his fav track meant until I was 17 in 300 Level of an Igbo speaking state.. It was then I realized it meant Live and let live… hence this post... you see gang, life is one kain..  and we Humans are just one kain by default.. Soooo.. In the voice of someoRRy I used to reallllyyy love yeah.. Lets Talk.

I was supposed to go represent the coy which i work for outside Lagos some days back.. I mean it was a small something.. But it meant a lot to me.. Now my job is a very interesting one.. I cant really describe it because when Ribena went with me to the Abuja consulate office, my Boss found out that I write for a blog so Amma not jeopardize my job by writing plenty plenty details here. But what my Hustle entails is you proving yaself, or you are fucked **For lack of a better choice of words.. (Tomi taught me this one lori Instagram last week).. You know ehn gang.. Most times everyone is oblivious (Janyl taught me this one too last week) of the fact that you are bursting ya ass. They just want you to impress.. and a member of top management said to me a some days ago.. “Duru you never Impress” Mehn that day ehn.. remain small gang, I would have gone to sleep with 10 women of the night. So in line with my trip above, a senior colleague called and canceled my trip for no just cause indicating it was a waste of funds.. and I was like fuck my life.. You know everything was ready.. I had collected the cash at the office, I had called my Outta Lagos bae friend that I was coming so i wouldnt be lonely on cold nights. And I was going to help Dr Duru apply for housemanship.. (Yeah that reminds me.. Please if you can help my sister get a placement at any Federalm Clinic... I would be very grateful.. She is a Full Medical graduate) and then someboRRy checkmated the move. I mean the guy just thwarted it all.. I was sad, but most of all I was surprised  cause this trip meant a lot to me as I really needed to grow.. Apparently it feels like this someboRRy that canceled this trip is just bent on putting me in a box as it seems like he fears I will take the shine… and I am like me? Me that is trying to not get sacked.. smh

You know I am not perfect.. but aswear I do my best… I mean I am human myself, and atimes I feel the urge to want to be jealous… to want to not let another surpass me as I am only human.. But life is teaching me that being Jealous in its stand isn’t bad.. but acting upon this jealousy is wrong.. I mean some people obviously feel intimidated by the work of another.. They feel like no matter how hard you try you should not pass by them.. They feel like your time is not now.. But what I will tell you is what Aisha (My High school Crush) Dr. Duru and my Dad told over the weekend.. which goes... "At the right time,  whats yours will be yours". So no Pressure. I mean I dunno the secret to success, but one secret of Failure is trying to put down another.


You know there is something about life.. and it’s the fact that no one can block another person’s shine.. Kindly permit me to paint you a picShur gang.. Imagine picking a star yeah, and putting it in a black Box.. Now I mean a REAL Big Star from the sky oh! What do you think would happen?! Would it stop shining and become dim.. or would it shine brighter and illuminate a glow so bright the box would look Yellow?! Yep! I thought so too.

Thank you for the past 7 minutes of your time Gang.. You do us a great Honor with your words.. and my prayer for you this week is that you will find a minute of stillness and peace in the midst of all these confusions of life and fuel scarcity and senseless traffic jams. You Rock gang and you are guys are my legitimate why. And the crowd goes Ooossshheeey Turn uP!

Blogger Stats.

So I met a really amazing new blogger, and her name is iBlog with grace.. Now one thing which I really do love about her is the fact that I can TOTALLY connect to her as she seems really young and full of life.. So gang if you can.. Please show her some love.

EgwumbA! Gang there is a new blogger on the block.. and his name is Egwumba and he is bad like that.. We went to University and were class mates for 5 years.. Now me and him are like cat and Rat as we fought more times that I can remember in Uni, but that doesn’t change that fact that he is an excellent writer full of wisdom. He was Chief Editor of our Year Book, school Newspaper and a whole lotsa stuffs... Please go over to his blog and show him some love if you can gang as he is frosh like that.

Oya this post e haf too serious.. its Play Play time…

So having that I am trying to form fine boy up and down… I am trying to up my swagger game, shoe game and Investment game all in a bit to get laid more times in 2015 oh! Soooo.. that was how Omolomo went to come and go and relax his hair yesterday.. I mean I knew I wanted to be frosh.. but I had to Idea that it will turn me into a Micheal Jackson someboRRy as my head was now looking like Rat ate part of it.. **covers face… So please enjoy the picShurs below, and don’t trip for my muscles and sexy abs too much oh! **Covers face.. Cheers.
... the 150 Naira cause...
... The Process...
.. The result where rat ate a part...
... and The Final fine boy... Ooosssshheeey Turn uP! **Winks...


#Udo #ItcanonlybeGOD

21 comments:

  1. Haha haha no be small rat chop your hair oh Duru. My advice is get a better relaxer. Phone is bad news.
    You and women sha, see why our relationship can't work ehn.

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    1. Aha nah! Bubba! So you are just gonna play me like that ba Lola?! After i have declared my love for you publicly like kilode! Diarisgodoo Baby mi... kai! ye! my heart e haf break! **holds chest in pain.. You are wicked gan oh! Oya EveryboRRy please oh! Please come and help me Tell Molola that i loF her oh! And **in Tiwa Savage's vopice... I will do anything for her... My darling... Cause i no know where i go deeyyyy.. Without my Molola todayyyy :) My darling.. hehhehehe Baby i love you.. (Oya those were from Tiwa Savage's My Darling track, dont go and come and let ya head to swell too much) heheheh

      But Bubba, i like the Ozone oh! I didnt end up looking too bad at the end though.. **Wears Mr. Nigeria smile... Only that now it has brought out my Baldness bam bam... **Crying in French.. Thank you bae! for making me smile.. I love you scaRRa.. :)

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  2. Duru! Duru!! Duru!!! How many times did I call your name? Cut this your woman wrapper by over half an throwway! Hian! Which kain pikin you wan be? Na why your head be like say rat chop ham. :p
    Any ''koko'' reason for the cancellation of the trip? Which kain supplanting ish be that? It is well.

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    1. HAhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah Lmao! Enikoko lwtmbn.. lmao! You have me laughing like a Hyena here Bubba! lmao! :) You are Epic aswear.. Yels oh! they came and went and said to Top management that me going on the trip was a waste of resources, and there was a cheaper way.. But when its their time to travel, its not a Waste of money then oh.. lmao! na them sabi jo! That one don go.. Thank GOD for the day I met you Eniola, Aswear.. You are crazily fun like that... And the crowd goes.. Ooosssshhheeey Turn uP!

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  3. LOL you haff killed me with laughter o! Duru who send you? Why did you relax your hair with Ozone?

    Thank you so much for the shout out. I keep saying it. You're truly a breath of fresh air.



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    1. Yaaaaaaayyy! She came! She came! She came! **Dancing Yahooze... Awwwgghh Bubba, you need to see how i smiled like a fish when i saw your comment on the bus home yesterday... I mean I literally blushed like a Tomato and read it almost 4 times with the blushing smile... You are so cute! Yels oH! i dunno who went to send me oh! Cause the Ozone literally ate part of my hair.. All in all jo i am uber excited i did it still.. It has me feeling like an Onyibo model.. **Winks... Thank GOD you can relate to my confusions Blog with grace.. You are an amazing lady and meeting you has been one of the highlights of my blogging career all 2015.. So thank you for loving me regardless.. You Rock.. Cheers.

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  4. My oga at the top!....dis ur hair is a matter ooooo.....I'll save my comment for when we see. U went to work with it?



    MariamOre

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    1. hehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehe Mariam Ore the partner toh Sure.. hehehehehe Yels oh! I we as a FAMILY relaxed it at almost 10 PM so it was too late to go get a hair cut... But it didnt end up looking so bad nah.. **Winks People kinda liked it.. Dont worry, i will wear it to your house tonight...

      Yyyyyaaaaaayyy... its almost time for Wednesday with Mariam.. Oooosssshhheeeey Turn uP!

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  5. Did I read "EgwumbA" at some point in this post and a flashback of our University days? Memories... and all I can say is Oshea! Learning lessons from the past makes us better people... Cheers bro. Thanks for getting my back this time... Only you bi SuccessfuL people; breaking grounds and staying confused.

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    1. hehehehehehe bet of course nah Chief of Staff... You na boss like that oh! Inshort after Buhari and Osinbajo na you.. **Winks.. Thanks for coming by Oga Boss.. Looking back and remembering how many times we fought makes me smile.. But all in all.. We fight to heal i presume.. Cheers Oga Boss.. And the crowd goes.. Oooosssshhheeeey!

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  6. Okay I want to be very nice on this post... well your abs on your SHOULDERS Looks cool enough *rolls eyes* and your Oga put water hair also look cool and erm last but not the least woman will not kee you in this your life that you came... kontinew.

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    1. Hehehehehehehehhehehehehehehe you are just a craze geh like that Reall... kai you ehn! Scammer... see as you stylishly capitalized "SHOULDERS".. kai you ehn.. :) lmao Ahan nah! Bubba.. i am 23 nah, i am at the peak of my sex Life (or almost past it sef) plus I am scorpio :p.. Its time to explore **Winks.. Thank you Rella, i mean seeing your name alone makes me smile like a fish.. You are a blessing like that.. Love you much bae :)

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    1. Aha nah Anu... What I do?! **covers face...You do know that I am innocent of all charges labeled about me ba?! **winks...

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    1. Ewooooo.... My head e oooo... My head e haf want to burst.... Bet shey you guys see Calabar Geh nah? Later she will now come and go and be saying that Duru likes to wash... Lmao... Thank you oh Bubba... iBlush... Infact iShy and iHide :) Mehnnnn Bubba, about the money something ehhhnnn, Eez not a joking sturvZz oh... As Nigerian Geh shall not love by hair alone, but by muscle and money too... **winks... Thanks for coming by Bubba, thanks for making us smile as usual... You rock plenRRy PlenRRy **shines teeth...

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  9. Side eyes at you post relaxer look. Hehe.
    No allow rat chop everything oh.

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    1. Hehheheheheheheh mehn Funmi, the maRRa wey you see soooo ehn... E heavy for mouth... Lmao... Aswear a NeFer hexspeRRed to look like this oh... Na just condition... Lmao... The relaxer really had me looking for my hair... **covers face... Right now ehn, it looks like A playing ground for Rats sef... **crying in Spanish... Thanks for coming by Baby mi, its alwaaayyyyysss a pleasure to read from Funmi toh sure... And the crowd goes Ooooossshhheeey Turn uP!

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  10. hahahahahhahahahahhahahah.... so i just wanted to see the pics first before reading ur ever long post and then i say the ozone relaxer and i'm like...what has dis dude done again and den i say the hair and i jus had to rotflmao

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  11. Lol Duru you are so silly! You are def a breath of fresh air indeed!

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