Monday, 18 May 2015

#MyBachelorsDiary_ What am I?!


Pre-Script: I am absolutely NOTHING without you guys... The ghen ghen love and support you great Young minds show to me hacSHually amazes me, and melts my heart like boiling ring... I mean all i am is but a 23 years 5 months and 5 days old young and utterly confused man in search of peace, but its you guys that are the real MVP...

Turn uP Turn uP ladies and Gentlemen, what gwan?! Kilonpop?? Kilon freaking shele?! **wait gimme a sec... I need to send a lie lie mail to the place of survival... **reaches for Mobile...OKAY guys I am back... The ish is i am ill... I have a cold, and a tano tano fever that comes and goes like Nigerian NEPA light... And on top of that i had to travel, so i am currently at Enugu, but i had to lie to them at work that i am just ill so they will not goan come and be thinking i haf found another job, whereas Omolomo is still hustling..... I mean i haf collected and chopped my leave allowance siiiiinnncccee 19 kokoro.. So i cannot afford to go on whats left of my annual  leave  till like Mber month :(. Hope you guys Turned uP oh, hope you had madt fun?! Oya lemme just officially tell you that i will be going on a ghen ghen date with one very ghen ghen Fashion blogger next week Saturday... In beauriful Clara's voice... Yyyyyaaayyy... i haf been asking this geh out for over 1 year nah, **crying in french... her senselense is just too much, but last week yeah, she had an ish with her comment section, and as a guy man nah, i did it for her and inturn asked her out AGAIN for like the 1 millionth time... and she said Yes... heheheh you need to see my smile right now gang, i am so feeling lile a fish....
....and FYKI the hair didnt end up looking too bad afterall :)

So guys I am glad to tell you that i think its time for me to change... **wears straight face... I need to cut a bit of my woman wrapper lifestyle off, and reduce on pursuing woman like Ant does Sugar... I mean I AM DONE, and this time, unlike my letter of resignation post, its for real..  Cc. Ice. You see ehn, before i came to Enugu ehn, I called one very faaaiiinnneee sexy geh to meet me at the Enugu accomodation so we can PLAY small, and gang y'all wont believe that this oniranu geh was saying Yh Yh Yh up and down Lori whatsapp... giving me full assurance that my night was gonna be ghen ghen when i get here... as in ehn... In my mind the groove was sure, as i was ready to shake the foundations of this house regardless that i have Fever oh **winks... Maybe her heat would have healed me sef faster than all these drugs... And then bam... I got into Enugu by 6:33 PM last night and reached out to my bae and she refused to turn up... i tried to get her hear, but for where?! The bae had deceived me... **crying in Catalan... So that Gang was how omolomo slept Solo and is writting this post without woman warmth... and the crowd goes... Aaaawwwgbghhhh... But guys truth is I am done... I am tired of this kinda life... I cant keep on with this kinda life... I cant afford an STD, pregnancy or anymore disrespect as I have gotten in the past years... I mean last night yeah, I was talking with the amazing Sophie and she was like you always say that, but end up going back... Well this time fam, amma gonna try To stick to my guns...

How did i get here?! 

As a kid yeah,  i always wanted to be what i am becoming... A cassanova... TOTAL one... The kind that has load of cash and cars and who got laid daily by different women... To me it was an endearing Lifestyle... You know i saw Jim Iyke and Ramsey Noah in all their glamour back then, plus all their player player movies and i was like... this is what i wanna be when i grow up... **covers face... But enroute becoming the man of my dreams, i realise there is nothing much to it than wasting body fluids on a daily basis, and since i am not RICH yet, i realised that it is now my small tintinli savings that is suffering... Bikonu... If i am to hit the Target by 25, i gats stop.

What Am I?!

 Do you ever ask yourself this question gang?! Well i do all the time... on a flip side though, I would like to officially tell you gang that after 5 months and 7 days and 6 Hours 48 minutes since my last geh friend broke up with me... I have finaly moved on... I mean it was long over due... I have been hurting on a low and silently hoping we would get back together.. but Naaaahhh... I dont think its ever gonna happen... So i called her last Monday and said Baby I love you... But i have gotta go and i have gotta let you go... She kinda sounded like there was a future when we leave the shores of Nigeria Insha Allah, but bikonu.. I am done... Now gang, the end of that relationship last November 11 killed the good side of me... i mean i literally loved that geh with all my heart... and her not aggreing to be with me kinda made me go "what tha hell... this love ish aint worth it..." You see her choosing to not be with me shattered me... You know after she left yeah, all i used to heal was sex and Alcohol... Aswear it was a deep ish and my it was crazy... I almost slept with a married woman sef just to heal, and it was madantin... I became a freak, pervert and a sex freak show, and thinking of how little the amount of financial deals i have struck from then till now makes me realise thaat this sex life isnt it. You only lose and never gain.


Where am I going?! 

Truth is i dunno... i have no idea what the future holds for me, but I will dance like no one is watching regardless... Looking forward from here, i dunno who i will be with tomorrow, but what i do know is that I need something stable.. I know i am scorpio and we like sex like say na food, but its time to get some control... Its time to live and not exist.... I mean i have been asking myself a series of kweshions for a bit, and i havent been able to get a sincere answer... So this time, i need to set my life straight... And i need to be able to understand that I aint better than any 24 years old young man with raging hormones and Ego..but at least i need to realise that I can be different from them. cause this chasing woman life yeah... e haf tire me aswear... If you are a young man like me out there, kindly understand that the Cassanova lifestyle just aint worth it... **deep sigh...


Oya wait this post it haf too insult me and finish... aha kilode?!... EveryboRRy will now come and be seeing me like i need MFM deliverance. Hehehehe... I cant believe i even wrote it without being under the influence?!**cleans sweat... damn! I am really growing... Wait its not like i haf gotten laid so mamy times oh... But just that i know i lack self control and i need it.

So last week was a very ghen ghen someRRin for me oh... Cause ehnn the something that haPPin ehn...mehn Gang a NeFer hexspeRRed it...so the amazing 1+ The ONE  had me invited to come speak on a show called Men Room at Nigeria Info (99.3)... And i had to say it was the shiZZle ma Niggles **shines teeth... I had so much fun ehn... I can only wait and hope to be invited again... And then i gotta see all the celebrities that e haf been bursting my head since all this whil... Oya see picSHurs below.
... and that ladies and gentlemen is the beauriful Ayo Thompson... iTrip

Gang, i am a big fan of www.oneplustheone.com and seeing her was just a dream come true something...

.... See the a neFer hexspeRRed it smile...


For the record gang... Radio life is the fu life... i am even considering doing a double.... Engr. by day, OAP by night...
.... and i also got to see Emma Oh my GOD...Amazing guy i tell you.... 
And I got a shot with the Amazing Mr. OJ Adaba.. awesome guy i tell you...


Aight guys, i have to run, need to catch a bus outta Enugu in some minutes... Ehmmm lets just call this time of my life The Pursuit of happYness..

Blogger Status...

As a big time fan of Bella Naija, I met a new blogger last week as she wrote on there... She talks a lot of women gist, so i bet all the ladies in the YnCGang will like her.... I dunno why oh, but i feel Eniola will love her the most **wears Evil grin... Her name is Savannah... Kindly click on her name to link to her blog...

Tomilola Lawal is back and waaayyyyy ghen-ghenER... she had been MIA for a bit, and hell i missed her... but now she is back... please click on the link to see..

Mzz Sykik.... now i just love this lady beyond words... She is giving us tales about her Pregnancy journey and its loadddd of fun... trust me its never a dull moment with Mzz Sykik, so please gang, go on ger blog and join in our happiness... That lady and Egbon Toin are just drop dead Hillarious aswear... hehehehn.

P.S: I know Janyl Benyls current secret oh, and i am still trying to blackmail her into buying me an iPhone 6 or a Playstation 4 at least... wish me luck guys... **Winks at Mama


Thank you for the past 7 minutes of your time gang, you do me a great honor with it.... My prayer for you is that in this new week yeah, no body will disappoint you like my Enugu body warmer did... **covers face...and the crowd goes... Ooooossshhheey Turn uP!


#Udo #ItcanonlybeGOD

Instagram: youngandconfused_byjdb

25 comments:

  1. I hope you really drop ur woman wrapper skills o. So help you God!

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    1. Ammmmmmeeeeennnn.. Thanks Bubba.. You know yeah! You have been one of the most consistent commenters on this blog.. You know yeah, We should make you Ms Confused oh! **Winks..

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  2. I will believe the change of heart when I see it! You have been repenting and giving up your woman wrapper lifestyle since year gbogboro lol...anyways who knows this time it might really happen. Good luck with your date. Have fun!!!

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    1. heheheheheheheheheheheheheh Nawa oh! Egbon **Wears Straight face... i am not playing with you again! Instead of you to be giving Omolomo morale support as to repent, you are deducting my Morale.. Oya let's bet! If i change you buy me an iPhone 6, if i dont I buy you anything you wish for.. Wait! Duru are you madt?! No Oh!! Not like anything oh! but like something I can afford shaaa.. Deal?! Thanks Egbon.. I am kinda excited about going out with this Bae oh! Hopefully, i might get me some MIDNIGHT Action afterwards.. oh Shit! i forgot, i just tried to bet.. **Runs away.. You Rock Clara, aswear you do.. Oooossssshhheeey!

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  3. Still celebrating the radio interview!!! Well done Duru. Would be cool to listen to it tho!
    I can just imagine your ghen ghen chuckles and way with words! TV interview next so the world can see your smile and sunny character!
    Have fun with your date!

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    1. Awwwwwwggghhh iBlush! inshort iTrip for you and join sef **Covers face.. Kai you need to see my MILO colored skin glowing and going red like Tomato just cause of this ya comment. Chisos! A neFer hexSpeRRed it aswear... meeehhnnn you can was for state shaaaaa... Choi!! Shey be you people are seeing Ausserehl now ba?! leRRa you people will be calling Omololomo me Drycleaning machine.. hehehehheheeh Big Amen to your prayer Egbon..

      You know ehhnn I am learning to just LIVE life.. and dance like no one is watching... Cause truly yeah we only live once.. bEt wait oh! **Wears Imaginary cap.. It would be mega cool to be on T.V... heheheh New prayer request.. Cheers.. Thanks for everything bubba.. You are amazing by default...

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  4. Replies
    1. u took the words outta my mouth
      READ if l were a boy

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    2. Hehehehehehehehehehe @ thats why you fried your hair! heheheh no oh! The frying hair was independent of the interview oh!. **Whispers.. You know that thing they say that a begger is not accepted in his own home.. Well that is what is goan come and be worrying me at the moment.. My office guys know i blog yeah.. But they think I write long jibberish tales **Covers face... so me i am kuku immune to them... heheheh H.R.. Yekpa.. No oh! Mr. Femi doesn't read my blog oh! **Shines teeth.. Thanks for always making me smile with ya Ever witty comments Calabar geh toh Sure... **Wears Straight face.. bet wait oh! You promised to call me since 19 kokoro! and yet still no call.. Diarisgodoooo! **Crying in Catalan...

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  5. The spirit of woman wrappership will lefting you as i type this in Jesus name.......Amiiiiiii ooh. e don doh nah!

    #Quickrecovery

    Thanks for the past 7 minutes, issokay nah, when you wan trik us. by the way how you dey.

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    1. heheheheheheheheheheh My Oga Boss toh sharp is back on the block... Yyyyyyaaaaayyyy! Welcome back mehN! It feels mega cool and good to read from you again.. Mehn baba, the woman wrapper someRRin e haf taya me jo! I wan marry **Covers face...

      My Oga i dey oh! hope sey you buy Benin Bread come for us oh! **Shines teeth.. Welcome back Chief of Staff, will Zoom over to your Page ASAP... You need to see me smiling as I type this.. Hhhhhheeeee iiiiisssss bachhhh! and the crowd goes.. Oooossshhheey Turn uP!

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  6. Well now that you have come to a crossroad, what next? Sometimes pain and disappointments can be motivation to grow in maturity and success. Those photos are great, keep your head up always. Best wishes!

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    1. Mehn! Bloggoratti Baba! What next?! Mehnn Chief of Staff... that is a very big bigger biggest Final year kinda ghen ghen kweshion oh! infact it is like my PHd Thesis at this very moment.. Truth is i dunno.. But top on my mind is the temptation to go right back to the life i am trying to walk away from.. But sometimes yeah, i feel like since i have been there and done a couple of things ehn, what would be different?! True that sir! Disappointments especially.. It changes a man **Winks.. But on the long Run oh! I guess it's time for me to stop being a guy and start being a man.. **Winks.. Cheers Oga Boss.. Its always nice to see and read your comment as it give us the Admin that Up NEPA kinda feeling.. **Shines teeth.. and the crowd goes Yyyyeeeaaahh mehn!

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  7. This is probably the most hillarious blogpost i've read all year (besides SDKs most emabrrassing moments post), I just had to drop a comment. Your play on words... nice.

    I hope you truly drop ur casanova ways tho..

    Toodles

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    1. Wow! Oooooosssshhhhheeeey Turn uP! iBlush.. iSmile.. ilaugh.. iWink... Thank you so much Sunshine for shining sun on my heart and making me smile with your Toasting kinda comment... Oooohhh! mehn! this your comment has me feeling like a pimpim.. cause kai! a neFer hexSpeRRed it sam sam!.. oh my Days, Inshort oh my Weeks, Months, Years and Anniversary sef :).. I am smiling so hard right now, my cheeks will soon start hurting...Mehn I thank GOD you can relate to our confusions.. Aswear i really dunno how that is possible though, cause even when omolomo me re-reads my post ehn.. It confuses sev **Covers face.. Thank you plenRRy plenRRy.. please dont be a stranger.. Please lets start a family and make plenty babies.. Okay that came out wrong.. Please dont leave me.. **Drops on 2 knees.. and **Wears Mr. Nigeria smile...

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  8. Hey Congrats on your radio interview.. can see your smile and rabbit eyes looking everywhere for woman *tongue out*. If you like don't change. You may turn to be like my neighbour from years ago who swore to us all that one of the thousands of girls he'd brought home turned out to be a spirit, I don't know how that is tho. But after he saw the spirit girl, he started running from women. Even to gist with me after that became a problem. So better take your time... wish ya well in all you do.

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    1. Hahahahahhahahahahahaha I just loooovvveee this geh sshhhaaaa... Rabbit Eyes ko.. rat eyes ni.. hehehehheheheheheh You know i was once with one geh a while ago at ANSU, and i almost swore she didint walk through the door to the room i was in after we did touching boRRy in the other room.... In my head i was like Mogbe! i have met Winchie Winchie.. Olorun maje oh! We shall not goan come and carry the geh that will use padlock and lock our future.. or the one that will turn us to by fire by force Spirit husband.. i jump am pass oh! heheheheheheheheheh Rella, please dont leave me.. You are Epic aswear. hehehehe lmao! Crazy child.. :)

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  9. This my son is funny sha, you asking me what you doing with your life when you have fine girls flooding your blog walpaper ok oooo. BTW congaz son
    fashionitazbybuiti.blogspot.com

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    1. Hehehehehehehhehehehehehehehe lmao! Buiti!!! Wait oh! Buiti! I see what you are trying to do! **Wears Straight face... You wanna Son Zone me ba! no nah Bubba.. You do know that I am tripping for you nah.. Son Zoning me will ONLY mean you cant cougar me again! **Crying in spanish... come on nah.. **Winks and **Winks again.. heheheheh Thanks mama You rock.. About the radio interviews, Special thanks to www.oneplustheone.com as truly yeah, #ItcanonlybeGOD

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  10. Another rose you wanna pluck? I shall remember you in my prayers. This "womanizing" spirit must die! Amen. Lovely pictures, I liked them already on IG...well, some of them ;-)

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    1. Aha nah! Lola toh sure... Blogger toh set. Another Rose ke.. No oh! It is not Rose i want to pluck ni oh! It is Mango that I am attempting to Pluck.. It is Mango season not Rose season **Winks.. Heheheheheheh Wait nah! haba before you start scabashing on Omolomo's head, its neFer that serious mbok.. **Winks... Thank you for always making me smile Lola.. You are AMAZING... all in caps.. **Winks...

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  11. My Nigga nigga... I totally missed this one.... Congrats bro... Let the woman wrapper spirit flow.

    www.icelaw.me

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  12. Otunne you make me laugh like a hyena all the time. This lof thing sef! I hope you'll find someone who'll make you smile again, just focus on growing the savings

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  13. Smh chile you need help. How are you though ?

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  14. Duru pray, pray because, this thing wey hole you so no be small thing o! No be small MFM deliverance you need. Your own baptism and deliverance needs Olympic size swimming pool..

    If I catch you ehn!? So you decided to go all CSI on Me ke! Omo Christopher Colombus...Smh!


    www.iblogwithgrace.blogspot.co

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