PRE-SCRIPT: Special shoutout to OgaBoss Victor Okoronkwo.. Mehhnn Baba I saw your ghen ghen comment of Life on my bloggerCrush’s blog toh sure.. and I was blushing like a Tomato and shining teeth like a chimpanzee.. kai!! You ghen ghen #YnCGang e haf learnt the special act of washing and setting oh! You guys can wash someboRRy with Ariel for Africa ehhhnnn.. kai! Victor washed me and Mariam ehhnn.. hehehe and even put starch and join sef.. heheheh and then my day1 bae sef nah joined him.. Diarisgodddoooo :) Thanks Gang.. You are our why aswear!
.. and that Gang was how the cookie crumbled **Crying in French… Turn uP Turn uP ladies and gentlemen.. what gwan people?! What popping?! Mehn I am on a low key kinda chill this moRRing eh.. lets just say someboRRy went to come and go and pour sand sand inside my Ijebu Garri and just rained on my parade :(.. Well its about time that that happened though.. It was a long time coming.. I get luck say no be slap them gimme sef.. **Wears Evil grin… How are you doing gang?! How was your weekend?! So any gist?! Huh?! Huh?! Sophie to BeaRRiful?! How was tush Turn uP Bubba?! **wears Mr. Nigeria smile?! Mmmaaa Nigggaa.. Moby koko.. Hafa nah baby mi?! We shall come over to read ya weekend Download eh! As usuall nah **Winks.. We gonna be cracked up abi?! Trust you.. :*
Okay sooooooo something crazy happened over the weekend... **takes off Confused Bracelet (and the crowd goes.. Ghen ghen).. So I had to make an appear and disappear trip to Abuja last Friday, cause I had ishe to do there.. Hence as usual nah.. when I got to Abuja the work started from 6AM -6PM.. I mean it was so bad, I couldn’t instagram or do nada.. There was no even network sef.. :(.. Oh my Abuija! Anyways by 8 pm on Saturday when the work e haf finish yeah.. I went home.. took off my legendary black laborer tee hence exposing my ghen ghen biceps and triceps and 6 packs that only a Lucky few haf seen… **Covers face… Had a shower and had dinner.. But you see ehnnnnn gang.. having that I am confused like that.. The woman wrapper in me will not lemme rest.. **Crying in Igbo... hence I took my small phone with the last surviving credit in side.. Called Ribena.. around 8 pm oh! And before you know it I was all dressed up and leaving Lugbe.. Now gang that wasn’t the Koko oh! The koko was I had to board a cab.. So cheap skate and legendary stingy koko like me
who prefers to trek entered Taxi
1k.. And we were go go green.. and then bam! The Mogbe moment happened Cc. Mo! The cookie crumbled so
fast that night.. I was shocked like Nepa wire… What happened?! Mehhnn gang.. I realized that the captain of the vehicle didn’t understand English.. Nor
did he know where exactly ShopRite was… Nor Did I! Meeehhnnn **In amazing Erniesha’s beauRRiful, ghen ghen and Bedroom voice ehnnn.. I was
FuckedUptwotimes.com… Mehnnn my heart started beating 3X faster.. My temperature
was hot enough to fry plantain cause was I furious to my teeth… I mean come
on!! And he charged me 1k! I mean here I was, in a land I didn’t know, with a captain
that was asking me DirecSHions in Hausa.. me!! Me that does not know shinGbain
in Abuja even with a Google map sef.. **Deep sigh.. Well we thank GOD oh that they
didn’t not use me and do Ritual.. I thought about yall at those last hours sef
**Cleans lone tear.. Meeehhhn oya lemme lie anyway I wasn’t too scared like that eh! I mean If they kuku
use my head to Do Blood money ba.. na Counterfeit money go comot.. heheheh My head is not for Ritual biko, It is for
clean money.. We finally got to Shoprite and I saw Ribena.. I have to say that
Ribena is an Angel. I mean in all my anger that night… She still found a reason
to lighten up my heart with a warm smile… Plus even offered top pay my Taxi fare back.. Now tell me that she isn’t the One?! Oh well.. :)
So gang! The koko of today’s gist is anGRYing me seriously! I mean adongeRRit! I just don’t geRRiT.. why do ladies make smmmmaaaalll thing.. I mean small tintinli thing oh! They will turn it to bigggg thing.. I mean this maRRa of wooing abi toasting woman e haf taya me biko! Before I get into the gist.. Please note that I haf officially giFFen up hope on dating biko… I mean I don’t haf strength for this wahala… **Wears straight face.. Come onnnnnn… what is hard there?! What’s so difficult?! If a geh likes a guy ehhnn.. Why can she not just open her mouth and say I like you oh! I will date you oh! I will sleep with you oh! And dassaall.. I mean in my awesome Egbon Toinlicious voice… its not Rocket science nah.. It’s just a common choice to love. **Wears Angry face…
Okay since Ribena said no ehn!!! There has been anoRRa very beaRRiful geh I haf been toasting.. Plus I haf been thinking of her daily since the past 2 weeks… Kai if you see her ehn gang! Your world will pause for a bit.. and your head will turn 360.. Plus your heart will beat faster.. Lets call her Rogue. I mean Rogue can fine for Africa and United states togeRRa ehn.. Chisos! Her beauRRy can make a dead man warm again.. plus she is sexy for stateess.
I haf to run.. Work e haf start :( 7:41Am And has the voice of Angels… AGAIn I reiterate that “Kai! I spent the entire last week with this geh on my mind” hehehe just in case
she gets to read this.. :). I was thinking about her 247.. Calling her
night by night before I go to bed with so much dedication.. Like all those
Festac security men hit abi ring bells at night to scare armed robbers.. But
the thing gang that shocked me was that this bae was just fronting all the
way.. and when! Just when I had given up
hope on her and traveled to Abuja to go work.. She sent me a green light message..
You see Gang.. I know when a geh is tripping.. Meeehnnn don’t test me oh! I haf seen far too many trippers..
AMAZINGLY AYAM STILL SINGLE.. but
that a fine geh wihh be tripping and forming Agbani darego for me that is
already tripping for her oH! Haba!! Regardless that it makes me want her more
ehnn.. That thing can TIRE Omolomo Cc. BeauRRiful Morayo :*.. and it is just multiplying my confusion
biko… I havent dated too many ladies oh.. Oya lemme count.. 1, 2, 3.. and 31/2.. okay 31/2 it is....
Middle Script: I haf to run gang.. They are on me. Please ignore any Typos from here.. I stopped proof reading here Gang!
But the thingy is all these 3 ghe ghe sexy and fineeee ladies ehnn.. we just met each other.. Liked each other.. and chose to love each other.. Dasaalll… I mean if I tell you how me and a couple of them wonderful ladies I haf had in my life met ehnnn… You will go Awwwggghh (iThinkOh).. One even bought me Jack and Jill wafers and our lof begun.. So my kweshion this moRRing is simple.. Mehn ForgeRRt all the many many up and down English I wrote up.. heheh my Kweshion is WHY DO I HAVE TO WOO A GEH THAT OBVIOUSLY LIKES ME?! I mean Dear ladies.. Coming out plain doesn’t always spell desperation nah.. Me I haf Taya oh! I tell you! Abuja has Kuku suck my small green blood like Vampire.. and I don’t kuku haf liquid.. So I give up on pursuing woman biko… :( Unless I get a loan though.. ;)
Thanks for the past 7 minutes of your time.. To my Chief Time keeper.. Lily… heheheheh Bubba check it.. Today is exactly 7.. Time it.. you wihh see.. Ehen.. Sorry.. As you go int o the week ehnn Gang.. My prayer for you ehn.. is that SomeboRRy wihh not come and go and use their reggae to spoil ya Blues.. but GOD will win in every area of ya life.. remove ya hand from Bad thing sha oh!! #PastorJdBMode…
Lily: Now first of all go down Low.. Lily is an Amazing Blogger.. I knew this bae before she started blogging yeah.. hehehehe She was always first to comment on one ghen ghen blog.. and when I read her for the first time.. I was like Bravo Bae!! Bravo!! And trust me gang.. she hasn’t dropped the beat ever since.. But she keeps geRRing beRRa day by day.. Please check out her blog if you can guys.. Trust me.. You will love it there.
Ausserehll.. Now someRRing about this bae is that you just love to love her by default.. Plus meehhnnn she Fine.. **cleans sweat.. I mean I remember how we met on blogger… heheheh Sheread this post! And asked if I was 18 or something.. hehehehe I mean it was so free a comment and I lovveeeddd her like money immediately.. She is just Frosh like that biko.. She is a young lady who writes about Nationalities and the life of a Married YOUNG again :) woman in Diaspora.. hehehe I mean she writes about everything.. Food oh, Family wahala oh,Will oh! Cremanting oh! love oh! She is just all shades of fun.. I tell you… And she has a smile to die for.. Please go over to her page if you can gang!
Nike!!! First of all, lemme just say that Nike is my TFA crush all time everytime.. I mean I like this babe pieces.. Gang haf you ever met somebORRy who barely standing next to her makes your heart beat 2X faster?! Well then meet Nike.. Ice.. Minus you oh! Biko! Don’t go and cast me here oh! BeRRa leave my Nike for me.. hehhehehe She is an awesome blogger and she is sooo smart that she makes smartness and wittiness seem so effortlessly easy… If you think aYam lying gang.. Oya go to her Blog and be blown away…
A click on their names will take you there gang.. ;) Do have a Ghen ghen Week ahead.. REMOVE YA HAND from bad thing oh! :*