Okay this is Duru Gang! :) Turn uP Turn uP Ladies and Gentlemen…. Drum Roll… Stage Lights.. Camera.. Actttttttiiioooonnnn… heheheheheh.. Ladies and Gentlemen… Say Hellllluuuurrrrrr to EllaHillz… **Covers face… JdB is just a clown..
Hiya Everyone, Hiya MariamOre... I am EllaHillz.. a chatterBox by Day and a ChatterBox by night… So JdB has been on my matter to write for him and thereby join his “confused gang” and I finally decided to do so.. However, when he asked me.. I didn’t know what I was to write about… and he said ANYTHING… So I thought to Tell you wonderful young and confused readers about a Walk of Shame… I do pray you can relate.. See you at the end..**Smiles**
On the 15th day of October 2014, at about 3pm, Sallah day to be precise, my friends and I needed to eat Sallah meat so badly and equally have a treat. We all made phone calls to people we were so sure could make that a reality but for where?! ' e no click’. They were all Muslims and had travelled to their hometowns to mark the celebration. It was all shades of disappointment for Uchechi, Justina, Stella, Bisi and I (all not real names oh, before they cut my head) but lie lie we no gree, we had to come up with a plan B.
At about 6pm we had come up with an alternative of clubbing and felt so cool with ourselves . We booked a cab ASAP and that was how it all started. :(
Some of us might have seen that movie titled "walk of shame” directed by Steve Brill Starring lead Actress Elizabeth Banks as Virginia Walker. To those who haven't seen it yet, it’s a must watch… TRUST ME. Well, the unfortunate thing was that co-incidentally , we saw that movie that evening before we dashed out, and same night, my friends and I experienced the Naija version (what an ugly co-incidence) but this time around, It was a real life situation and wasn't funny at all!...Well, maybe it is right now as I relate the ordeal.
At about 11.15pm, we tried calling the cab guy, niggur didn't pick. 'The devil was a liar sha' lol. We had to call up some other male corper friends of ours to help us get the contact of another cab guy and luckily for us, they had some contacts and that was how we eventually set out. When we had headed out already, the initial cab guy called back to apologize that he slept off but as the gang leader nah *winks*, I had to explain to him that it was too late already to come over . The new cab guy was young and confused, (lol), easy going and full of plenty gist’s but like the foolish virgins in Matthew Chapter 25, the ode driver wasn't prepared.
I'm a correct ‘Eko gal' that was born and bred in Lagos, Surulere for that matter and serving in Niger state, Minna wasn't funny when it came to having an amazing social life. Niger state is a Sharia state and asides hotels where you could visit the pool side during weekends, nothing else is there. The club houses were located in the outskirts and it was always a journey whenever I went clubbing with my friends and colleagues.
In the craving or should I say longer throat to club… here we were enroute a poorly planned journey abi na escapade and then it began… First, the driver used the wrong route and that was how calamity befell us. Second, we ran out of fuel and had to look for 'black market' retailers in one of the villages and pheew! we eventually got but only 5 Liters... That village was a very poor one! What could 5liters do? But Oga young and confused driver bragged that we were so good to go and that it was enough to take us to our destination and we unanimously replied with an “Okay oo” plus a very very very very skeptical look though. It was 12:43am already.
This time around, we averted and took the right route but you won't believe it, The 'Nigerian Police' stopped us. Who stops girls who intended to have a good time? Hell let loose eventually when they asked us where we were coming from, we truthfully answered them and they so bullied us big time. Amidst the very many signs God gave us, we failed to comprehend. Those beasts ordered us out of the vehicle, and started questioning us, from questioning us, they called us wayward girls with zero home training and asked us why we were wearing bomshorts, they went as far as telling us that our parents would be so disappointed in us if they got to see us in that state, they said all sorts that fateful day abi night :), I had heard enough, I couldn't take it no more. I snapped back at them, I told them I knew my right and that I was a Corp member in the Niger state Government house and that I could so sue them for harassment, I equally rubbed it in their faces that they were so shameless for not being hospitable enough at least for the fact that service year brought us to their town was enough reasons for them to at least pretend to be kind, further concluding that they should even be happy that we were exploring and upgrading their dead town. Lol. See me making mouth...Omo straight off, they got so angered they took us to another spot and instructed that we should stay on a single file. Looool.. Nigeria Police I hail thee sha! Another round of questioning commenced and before we could say jack, they had made a call, asking a van to come and pick us, and in less than 3mins, just like an action film, the van was there.
They claimed they were going to lock us up in the cell, Uchechi immediately knelt down, cried her eyes out and began to plead with them, others followed suit but in my head, I was already calculating how to scale out through the nearest bush. lol.(I'm secretly a fast runner sha and also with a crazy soul but e no dey show for mah face). They wasted so much of our time but they said their mind shamelessly. We paid them off eventually and set out but with our stubborn heads, we still continued the journey, we were determined to fix all that had gone sour by still making our night worth it. we got to another point still far from our destination and our vehicle stopped , we had run out of fuel and just immediately, an incoming vehicle just in front of us dived into the bush, an accident had occurred. it was just so glaring that GOD Almighty loved us and it was just not our time to die. Our Vehicle had stopped in the middle of a high way and we could move nowhere. Now, imagine again how we would have all ended assuming the vehicle ran into us.
This time around, my heart was in my mouth, all I could think about was how to assist the driver push the vehicle out of the road immediately before a more tragic scene occurred. We cleared, the driver crossed to assist the accident victims out of their somersaulted vehicle, two people were involved, a man and his lady, and so for the lady,' she was a woman of easy virtue'. The woman of course had a bleeding hand; we tried to stop it by tying a cloth round it, the' man' refused to come out when our driver tried to help him out. You don't want to know his reason, trust me. Lol. He said he purchased the car for 1million naira and that it was damaged that he rather remains inside and dies. hahhahhaa.
He stepped out eventually after advising him to, other incoming vehicles that had witnessed the scene stopped to assist, only to realize that the man was even a learner with a learner tag on his vehicle and luckily for him, his car wasn't so damaged. A good Samaritan volunteered to toll his car and back to my crew and I, we were still SCREWED. I looked at the time, it was already 3:27am. All efforts to get more fuel turned out fruitless. The yeye driver began to convince us with his cool story on how we should all sleep in the vehicle. That place was a village that we couldn't even identify, to crown it all, if the villagers got to see us in our bomshorts at daybreak, they would so have to throw stones at us ehn (AS PER SHARIA), we were not on any Hijab you know. Some of these northerners ehnn.. It Eez welll
Well, we resorted to the last option of flagging down vehicles, luckily for us, another good Samaritan helped us out, he took us home and we couldn't even say a word to one another. The hangover from the ordeal left us numb. I looked at the time once more, It was 5:25am, the next day. The combo of a walk and a ride of shame was indeed a story to remember. Would I ever forget that experience? Hell No!!!
Moral lesson: Never ignore the signs. Trust me, they are ever glaring before us.
One last thing, Stay positive people, never give up, Nigeria and the world at large is hard, that I'm so aware of; at least I'm a living witness. Lol. The try attitude would eventually pay off some day, that, I entirely believe in, brace up, worry less, laugh more and of course do have a nice day. It's your cream chick and your new friend Ellahillz, a young budding blogger who tried to nurture her infant blog but got caught up with a life as a grown up AKA a JOB… One which drains all my energy and consumes all my time. My blog would begin to function immediately I sort things out. You can still check it out at: www. ellahillz.blogspot.com, You'll be seeing more of me too. You'll love JdB a.k.a "Duru" but you'll love me more :).
*winks* *smiles* *tongue out* #Flips hair and walks away#.