Wednesday, 29 July 2015

Celebrity Guest Post: Can we have Sex?! by Ms. H&M

Duru: Hiya Guys.. How is the week going?! Okkaaayyy... I have been uber excited about this post all week.. annndddd... I just couldnt wait to read it! Dont ask why... Wait first oh! readers Discretion is hugely adviced.. and it Eezz not kuku for readers under the age of **scratches head... ehmm.. ehhmm. ehhmm.... Biko whats the legal Age?! !8 or 21.. Well sha.. If you haf not sha reach the age of Shagging..... Please Dont Read. **Rubs Palms... Ms. H&M Has been my Friend for Ages... This should be a fun read... See you at the End Gang.. #ItcanonlybeGOD


What’s up peeps? How are we?! I do hope the week wasn’t been too stressful..*sneers* what am I saying? It has jare... Nowadays sef, life seems to have just gotten harder.. its work! Work! and more work! Oh Saturday.. I love and miss you... sadly its so hard to differentiate between weekdays and weekends as well for me, because every day is freakishly busy. I feel like we are all racing and hurrying but I still don’t know where to nor what to or what after..But in spite of the busy- E- ness *lol..** see o! new English **winks… Ehen.. as I was saying.. Despite of the Busy-E-ness, we shall survive.. So when JdB asked that i pleaassee do this post on this topic for him.. I was shocked! but having that he just kept hyping and raving about this post, I knew that I sha had to do it… Plus its kind of hard to say No to JdB.. He is such a cute boy... So here goes…  Wait! I am beginning to feel like I am going to mess it up, but since i am "young and confused" and this is how we just pour it all out on here and “Dance like no one is watching” ehn.. Please manage and endure what I dish out..lol...  Ah!! that reminds me.. JdB, thanks for showing your fine face and delectable though smallish body at my house the other day. Was super-duper-tuper-luper cool having you over!! *In DBanj’s voice (for those who still remember who that is though)…. Oshey! thanks for turning up!!! man.. chop knuckle.. lol....Oops...see me rambling on and on without letting you in on what I actually want to say abi na write about.. yeah..**adjusts my seating position** Clears throat** Lets Do this.
Recently  Dearies, I was discussing with a male friend of mine about Sex… I mean I don’t want to say we were having a sex chat or  naughty sex conversation although we were.. But Sex Experiences were shared, as that was the Basis of the conversation.. And  he told me that he had just recently lost his virginity.. mehn! ** My jaw literally dropped at the statement.. I mean here I was thinking this guy was a player player all those years, just to realize he was a virgin for almost 25 years before doing the do…  mehn! Oh Well as we kept talking.. and the gist got more sultry and all, he came out clean and went… H&M… I believe EVERYONE should taste the cookie before buying the whole damn box.. can u imagine his nerves... and did I add that I was a tad older than this kid?! Sitting down in my apartment.. I slowly began to wonder how many cookies he believes we should sample before we choose what flavor or brand to eventually purchase that will not make our stomach boil and keep us confined to the toilet for hours.. *wrinkles nose* in case you don’t get my point.. i’m speaking in FBI codes in case my younger ones happen to be reading this.. I don’t want to be the one who disvirgins their minds..

Having that I am not really a Spiri-Koko like that, I for one believe that Sex is a very important part of love.. I mean the sticking in and out, the senseless moanings,  the mushyness.. and the sweatyness and all.. butttt I seem to belong to the school of thought that if we all keep tasting the cookie before we buy them, we are going to eventually get too filled up to want to buy the product at the end... let me quote my friend above on his first experience.. and his line of Argument as to why he didnt wait... and I say this with my *face burning and getting redder by the minute;


when I had sex for the first time some months back, I poured into the girl in barely 45 seconds... hence my point is; sex is important so that one can satisfy his future spouse/ partner, i totally agree that is is wrong morally but I hear of marriages that are ending cause the wives are sexually  starved having their men cannot keep an Erection before they Orgasm”....

Hmmm... can you imagine having this kinda discussion with your junior?! Hehehe mehN! **in JdB’s voice.. The World e haf spoil finish…

Thinking back at the conversation, I see and totally understand what his point is, but i really don’t think it works that way. Lets think of it this way shall we?! if the seemingly sex-starved partner had never had a man inside of her prior to marriage, hence hadn’t been sampling other type of cookies before that time.... She wouldn’t argue about being satisfied or not… heheheheh I can see your eyebrows shooting up and you wanting to ask me if i am alright… hehehe Truth is I am alright.. and I am not insinuating that half of the world and a bit more aren't having sex before marriage... No! that’s not my point.. Neither am I saying that a woman should be sentenced to a life of bad sex all because she closed the gates between her leg all the while.. oh no!! i won’t fall into that argument with you.. I mean *In Falz the bad guy’s voice*, izzs no borry’s buzziness wat u do wit ur boury… bur iz ashually between you and your creator... Heaven forbid i become your counselor or spiritual guide.. But this i will say, if you are yet to experience various levels of orgasm, how can you tell when you don’t have it or not?? How can you tell if the Sex is good or not?! How can you know if you can be satisfied more than that or not?! Plus Honnays... It is not basically about the number of times that you get shagged or the number of bonking you get that makes you an expert bonker, it is the skill and diligence you apply in the Bonking.. The communication on how to satisfy each other.. So i Totally disagree with my Friend above.

The idea of this post isn’t to judge or condemn anyone, So I would say enjoy sex if you want to, but do not hide under the auspices of practicing for marriage, because in case you score 20 and your marriage partner scores a 10, your "expertise” or “hunger” won’t be the same and then you will start singing the “i don’t get satisfied in bed" hymn...


There is a looott more to say about this Sex talk.. But lemme take a breather here till next time…  But before I go… let me quickly add this for the men.. Brovers.. it aint what yo gifted with that makes you special, Not the length.. Size or colour… But how you use the ‘gift´ that matters... Having sex before or after marriage won’t guarantee that your partner is satisfied..*wears evil smile* My advice is to make sure you try these few tips i give you to achieve that..

1. Always aim to please your partner, talk about what you both want and how you like it and work with that.. if i go all out to carry out your fantasies, you get satisfied whether you cum or not..oopss...yeah yeah.. I finally said it didn’t I?? ..well sha!! wharever!!!

2. This is absolutely important.. Make sure you are totally into the person.. You don’t understand why i said that shey?, let me  explain.. if i tell u my fantasy as my Husband... and you are not into me like that, it would be hard for you to carry it out... yep!! think about it, you know its true...

Thirdly… As for my last tip, i will keep that for those that really want to know how to rock her/his world.. **winks… see me personally in camera and I will tell you... OMG!! dat sounded like a lecturer saying, see me in my office for your extra- curricular activities*winks*...

P.S: I am no sex Expert eh! I am just a Lagos Girl who loves to live. :)


25 comments:

  1. Wow!!!! Duru your friend is smart mehnnnn! She should do this more often biko
    I shall be back soon

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    Replies
    1. Thanks jare...*head swelling per minute*..sha buy something when u come back o...

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  2. So I saw the 'hype' on JdB's IG page and I ran here....I must say, its worth it

    1. I love your style of writing
    2. I like that you didnt go too spiritual or "worldly" about the topic...you did it your own way.
    3. The name H&M got me thinking about beautiful clothes

    Dont test before buying??...ermmm, dunno about that but each time I go to buy suya, I must get a bite before I buy it mehn.

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    Replies
    1. Hehehehheheheh at Tasting Suya... Kai You ehhnnn CatWoman... You haf spoil... **covers face... iSsorait...

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    2. Every time? ?? *whistling*oh boy...I sure say suya go dey quick tire u...trust me...leave the element of surprise once..try it...buy..don't taste till you have bought it..and see the magic of waiting. ...*winks*

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    3. Duru and H&M, you've got it all twisted...I said SUYA, biko nnu araputana mo. **winks back**

      BTW DdB, I just nominated you for the Versatile Blogger Award, go check it out on the blog.

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  3. I think sex before marriage is wrong morally and is responsible for the increasing divorce rates.
    Nice write :D

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    1. Thumbs up...

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    2. Ghen ghen!!oshey!! *in Dbanj's voice* FI LE!!!
      ..as I said..eez between u and ur creator..*singing* nobody fit run my race..paddle ur canoe, I paddle mine.. .but don't get it twisted..oshey!!!
      Dat don't mean no sex before marriage equals no divorce o...MARRIAGE PASS THAT ONE O...
      yes o!! Eez dat deep...fery deep...

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    3. i agree wif u blessing... its difficult buh achieveable... nyc post tho.. she writes well



      Read this hilarious piece… CLICK HOW TO REALLY LOSE A GUY IN TEN DAYS

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  4. Nice piece...tho I am quite indifferent to the whole premarital sex thing. I advise 'fergens' to keep theirs and for 'doers' biko play safe
    Nma's Blog 

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    1. Now eez certainly gerrin fery deep...eek..*wink*...on point..

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    2. heheheheheh @Fergens.. Ya Sha epic oh you this geh! I guess so.. Its all a maRRa of choice finally :)

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  5. nice write up
    Duru have you heard? *pulling my ear*

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    Replies
    1. Hehehheheheheh aha nah Vira toh Sure... Eez neFer that Deep nah... Omo see set up oh... **covers face...

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    2. *ECHOS* DURU!!! U don hear???

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  6. Nice write up, Duru am coming bk...oya go and see my blog

    www.icelaw.me

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  7. Duru you know all the baddest in the game...she finish work for here oooo!!!
    Nice i must say...maybe i could sign up for your classes lerra..

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    Replies
    1. No awoof for the class o... *singing* money for hand; class go start.. hehehe

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  8. Oh no u don't. ..baddest ke!! I am the ghenghencious but I don't like to brag...lol..no jare...just believe in living life to the T...

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  9. My dear, hope you 're studying sex psychology for your masters, 'cos you are good. Awesome post

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  10. Sex psychology? ? Wow..that's a good thought o..*rubs chin* hmm....sounds like a good idea...been looking for what to do my masters in. ..thanks. .👊
    I will enrol immediately. .. .🏃
    oh yeah!! Almost forgot... Thanks for the compliment. ..

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  11. Great post... The writer sounds intelligent and playful at the same time. I like the fact that there is a balance in her argument about sex, abstinence and doing it right. Please how do i see you for personal lectures...lol *in db voice*

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  12. Correct writer... Ugbu for the matter. Since it's sex talk, I will pass before I scatter the area with my words. But sha to buy the merchandise without tasting knowing fully well that you are entering a journey / institution of no return is one of the biggest risk humans take in life. Okay when my time comes, I will ask the Holy spirit to taste for me
    ..#Am out

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    ReplyDelete