Duru: Turn uP Turn uP ladies and gentlemen... I cant keep calm! Cladora wrote for us.. **Shines teeth.. See y'all at the end gang **Wears Mr. Nigeria smile. Please see her blog here: www.unbrydledopinion.blogspot.com
When Duru Adolphus invited me the first time to post a guest post on this ghen ghen blog, my liver almost failed me. I began to sweat all over, from head to toes. It brought back all the memory of the crash program I took last Spring. I was praying silently for it to be a big fat joke unfortunately, while I was hiding and praying for him not to respond to my half-hearted acceptance, there he was asking again in the manner that will melt even the hardest of all hearts. Duru I don't know where you got your charming approach from, but I must tell you, it gat me this time :) Thanks for the wonderful opportunity to chat with the gang. Thanks a million :)
The topic "Motherhood" is not a topic that I can exclusively cover in just one post. It is a very broad topic. As far as I'm concerned, Motherhood is a life time experience. That is, so long as one is alive and her children are alive, the experience continues. It differs from place to place, and from person to person. Changes can arise based on the stage in life the mother is in, or the children are in. So many things can influence, or affect ones experience as a mother.
However, based on what I said above, I will base this writing on a small part of my own experience. When I was a child I thought that being a mother was like bread and butter. I used to imagine that I was a mum while playing alone with my baby dolls. Sometime, I would imitate the roles of both mummy and daddy, since, I played alone 99.9% of the time(lastborn syndrome, lol), Kudos to all lastborns in the house :) I would role play bathing my baby, feeding her, making her hair, and sometimes taking her to school...I won't tell you her name tho, lol:), Life was good.
Though I'm not completely wrong however, when reality hit me in 2007 and I got married, I didn't have any child then but I slowly by myself began to have a change of heart about my perfect fantasy world. I began to feel the tint of the responsibility it requires to be a mother. Mind you, being a mother doesn't end at giving birth to your children, nursing them and making sure that all is well with them. It also involves taking care of the biggest baby of the family, and making sure that he is happy...wink! to all husbands, lol.
Unfortunately, my sweet husband was not living in Nigeria, so it took me 2 years to get my Landed (Visa) to join him. Having done series of deliverances in MFM (correct 3days dry fasting) with complete "fall down and dies, and serious scabashing"! I immediately became double on my first month in Canada, that was when my life actually changed. I use to think that nothing would wreck my beautiful figure, and that my Boobs will always be on standing ovation, hiiyaah!( hope no kids are reading this post), oh boy I was wrong. By the end of 9 months, my thighs, and my belly looked as if I fought a tiger. But by the time I was presented with my bundle of joy, my whole heart melted. I forgot the steep price I had paid to get to being called a mum. Tears filled my eyes. I could not stop smiling and crying at the same time.
As I was going home after my discharge from the hospital, I did not know where to start. Or how to start, I was filled with so many "how do I do this and that's". My mum could not come, I was left alone with a tiny little guy that knows how to press my buttons to make me cry (Yep! mums do cry too, lol) Though I grew up in my sisters house in Lagos, I thought that I knew it all about taking care of babies, but by the time my baby handled me ehnnnn... I realized that I was as new to babies as I could ever be. I also realized that each baby differs in some ways. My first 3 months were full of HIGH ups and plenty plenty LOW downs but they were all worth it.
From where do I start? Do I talk about the sleepless nights or the unstoppable "Ear Ringing" cries (my first baby cried a lot), what about the poopy diapers. As if the troubles were not enough my boobs swole up like balloons that would pop at the slightest touch, and they were really tender. My whole world was transformed completely. I suddenly transited from merely existing to living my life for him, As my baby would determine when I ate, slept, where I went etc. One thing I discovered was that as days went by and as my baby grew, I saw my self grow too as a mother and as a woman.
I had to make lots of changes to suit my little guy. I could remember the first time he was sent to the daycare, while he cried out his heart when I was leaving, I as well cried and felt so guilty for leaving my child in the hands of another person. We tried for about 2 months before pulling him out from daycare, because he was finding it so hard to cope. Things were so bad that he literally became sick. Though the daycare fee was ridiculously expensive, withdrawing him wasn't the smartest choice either. I had to chose to work night shifts only so as to be with him by day while my hubby takes care of him by night. Hubby and I made lots of sacrifices to make life more comfy for our little ones.
As the family continued to grow, my responsibilities and experiences as a mother also grew at the same time. Considering the part of the world where I reside, helping hands are very hard to come by. Hence I automatically became the wife, the best friend, mum, playmate, cook, cleaner, house-help, the chauffer , the lawyer, the judge, and even the jury(lol!).
At a time the stress of all these responsibilities began to take its toll on me. I tried to pray it out but I found out that there are some things one needs to learn practically instead of scabashing. So I resorted to blogging to help me ease stress. This task of blogging was not an easy one at first, but as soon as I send my little ones to bed, I hijack my laptop and get on the internet, ZAAHM! all the stress is off through the window. Automatically I become refreshed and ready for the next day.
I'm not trying to scare anyone about being a mother, but I'm trying to be as frank as possible. In the midst of all my imperfections, and confusion, I see perfection and order being developed in me and my family. We help mold each other into better people, and most of all God himself is helping to bring out the best in us.
Whenever I look back and see how far I have come as a mother, my heart is filled with joy and pride that is embedded in the gift of MOTHERHOOD.
Oh boy! I have gone off course, too much jiba jaba. As my very good friend in my university days would say," at this juncture" I rest my case. Till next time:)
Food for thought: "Motherhood is a great honor and privilege, yet it is also synonymous with servant hood. Every day women are called upon to selflessly meet the needs of their families. Whether they are awake at night nursing a baby, spending their time and money on less-than-grateful teenagers, or preparing meals, moms continuously put others before themselves."
I dedicate this post to all mums. You are an amazing gift to this world. God bless you all. Wink! Wink! to all Dads:)