Thursday, 23 July 2015

#FeatureThursday: MotherHood by the legendary Cladora :)

Duru: Turn uP Turn uP ladies and gentlemen... I cant keep calm! Cladora wrote for us.. **Shines teeth.. See y'all at the end gang **Wears Mr. Nigeria smile. Please see her blog here: www.unbrydledopinion.blogspot.com


When Duru Adolphus invited me the first time to post a guest post on this ghen ghen blog, my liver almost failed me. I began to sweat all over, from head to toes. It brought back all the memory of the crash program I took last Spring. I was praying silently for it to be a big fat joke unfortunately, while I was hiding and praying for him not to respond to my half-hearted acceptance, there he was asking again in the manner that will melt even the hardest of all hearts. Duru I don't know where you got your charming approach from, but I must tell you, it gat me this time :) Thanks for the wonderful opportunity to chat with the gang. Thanks a million :)


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The topic "Motherhood" is not a topic that I can exclusively cover in just one post. It is a very broad topic. As far as I'm concerned, Motherhood is a life time experience. That is, so long as one is alive and her children are alive, the experience continues. It differs from place to place, and from person to person. Changes can arise based on the stage in life the mother is in, or the children are in. So many things can influence, or affect ones experience as a mother.

However, based on what I said above, I will base this writing on a small part of my own experience. When I was a child I thought that being a mother was like bread and butter. I used to imagine that I was a mum while playing alone with my baby dolls. Sometime, I would imitate the roles of both mummy and daddy, since, I played alone 99.9% of the time(lastborn syndrome, lol), Kudos to all lastborns in the house :) I would role play bathing my baby, feeding her, making her hair, and sometimes taking her to school...I won't tell you her name tho, lol:), Life was good.

Though I'm not completely wrong however, when reality hit me in 2007 and I got married, I didn't have any child then but I slowly by myself began to have a change of heart about my perfect fantasy world. I began to feel the tint of the responsibility it requires to be a mother. Mind you, being a mother doesn't end at giving birth to your children, nursing them and making sure that all is well with them. It also involves taking care of the biggest baby of the family, and making sure that he is happy...wink! to all husbands, lol.

Unfortunately, my sweet husband was not living in Nigeria, so it took me 2 years to get my Landed (Visa) to join him. Having done series of deliverances in MFM (correct 3days dry fasting) with complete "fall down and dies, and serious scabashing"!  I immediately became double on my first month in Canada, that was when my life actually changed. I use to think that nothing would wreck my beautiful figure, and that my Boobs will always be on standing ovation, hiiyaah!( hope no kids are reading this post), oh boy I was wrong. By the end of 9 months, my thighs, and my belly looked as if I fought a tiger. But by the time I was presented with my bundle of joy, my whole heart melted. I forgot the steep price I had paid to get to being called a mum. Tears filled my eyes. I could not stop smiling and crying at the same time.

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As I was going home after my discharge from the hospital, I did not know where to start. Or how to start, I was filled with so many "how do I  do this and that's". My mum could not come, I was left alone with a tiny little guy that knows how to press my buttons to make me cry (Yep! mums do cry too, lol)  Though I grew up in my sisters house in Lagos, I thought that I knew it all about taking care of babies, but by the time my baby handled me ehnnnn... I realized that I was as new to babies as I could ever be. I also realized that each baby differs in some ways. My first 3 months were full of HIGH ups and plenty plenty LOW downs but they were all worth it.

From where do I start? Do I talk about the sleepless nights or the unstoppable "Ear Ringing" cries (my first baby cried a lot), what about the poopy diapers. As if the troubles were not enough my boobs swole up like balloons that would pop at the slightest touch, and they were really tender. My whole world was transformed completely. I suddenly transited from merely existing to living my life for him, As my baby would determine when I ate, slept, where I went etc. One thing I discovered was that as days went by and as my baby grew, I saw my self grow too as a mother and as a woman.

I had to make lots  of changes to suit my little guy. I could remember the first time he was sent to the daycare, while he cried out his heart when I was leaving, I as well cried and felt so guilty for leaving my child in the hands of another person. We tried for about 2 months before pulling him out from daycare, because he was finding it so hard to cope. Things were so bad that he literally became sick. Though the daycare fee was ridiculously expensive,  withdrawing him wasn't the smartest choice either. I had to chose to work night shifts only so as to be with him by day while my hubby takes care of him by night. Hubby and I made lots of sacrifices to make life more comfy for our little ones.

As the family continued to grow, my responsibilities and experiences as a mother also grew at the same time. Considering the part of the world where I reside, helping hands are very hard to come by. Hence I automatically became the wife, the best friend,  mum, playmate, cook, cleaner, house-help, the chauffer , the lawyer, the judge, and even the jury(lol!).

At a time the stress of all these responsibilities began to take its toll on me. I tried to pray it out but I found out that there are some things one needs to learn practically instead of scabashing. So I resorted to blogging to help me ease stress. This task of blogging was not an easy one at first, but as soon as I send my little ones to bed, I hijack my laptop and get on the internet, ZAAHM! all the stress is off through the window. Automatically I become refreshed and ready for the next day.

I'm not trying to scare anyone about being a mother, but I'm trying to be as frank as possible. In the midst of all my imperfections, and confusion, I see perfection and order being developed in me and my family. We help mold each other into better people, and most of all God himself is helping to bring out the best in us. 

Whenever I look back and see how far I have come as a mother, my heart is filled with joy and pride that is embedded in the gift of MOTHERHOOD. 

 Oh boy! I have gone off course, too much jiba jaba. As  my very good friend in my university days would say," at this juncture" I rest my case. Till next time:)

Food for thought: "Motherhood is a great honor and privilege, yet it is also synonymous with servant hood. Every day women are called upon to selflessly meet the needs of their families. Whether they are awake at night nursing a baby, spending their time and money on less-than-grateful teenagers, or preparing meals, moms continuously put others before themselves."

Ada Egungwu-Anigbogu's photo.

My Take:
I dedicate this post to all mums. You are an amazing gift to this world. God bless you all. Wink! Wink! to all Dads:)


#ItcanonlybeGOD

14 comments:

  1. Oh wow... This was an over enlightening read... I mean thank you Thank you Thank you sooo much for doing this Mzz Cladora... You have me humbled beyond description with this post... I mean Thannnnkkk you...

    My persepective of motherhood has always been skewed... I mean it was shaken looonnng ago... and nothing had really corrected it... but this post had me smiling... Laughing... Had my hair standing in Mushy Mushyness et al.. It was just fun to read.. wait oh... a woman's Bobby becomes sensitive After Child birth?! aha nah!!! That's unfair to us future Dad's nah.. How are we supposed to get our own groove on during those cold lonele nights nah... Noooooooooo... **Tears shirt... **cries in French... hehehehehehhe iKid...

    Thank you so much for doing this... Shout out to all the amazing Mothers out there... shout out to all future soon to be mothers... Shout out to Mzz Cladora. And the crowd goes Yyyyyyyyeeeeaaahhhh mehn.

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    1. Funny guy! When the baby comes, even you yourself will realise that u are no longer incharge of ur life. Your baby calls the shots.....but the joy of fatherhood will console you. Just marry the right woman.lol Thanks for this opportunity once again.

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  2. On point post. Well done Ms Cladora, more power to you mama.

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  3. Hooray to all selfless, strong and "clueless" mothers who still manage to raise their kids with all their love.Thank you for sharing your journey of motherhood to us Cladora.

    Thanks Duru for letting us meet great and interesting people thru your guest posts. :)

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  4. First of all..shout out to all the amazing women out there who are doing this selfless service..the sacrifices mothers make for the mature babies and the real ones is worth being thankful for everytime..thanks mami for sharing with us your story..

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  5. This post is so lovely... I love it

    www.icelaw.me

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  6. Respect to every woman out there, we rock jare. In fact we are like angel sent from above, we are beautifully & wonderfully made. Men please don't get jealous o, you rock too and we love you. Nice one there.

    modhancrochet.blogspot.com

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  7. Everyone experiences motherhood differently, but from your account, I can understand the beauty of it, even through the less than pleasant of experiences, like poopy diapers. Thank you for sharing your experience, especially on behalf of men. It's truly enlightening to learn of the life-changing challenges that women face once a baby is born. Such experiences may not be fully understood by me, but I can appreciate the time and effort of motherhood.

    Kirk White @ Med Care Pediatric

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