Friday, 24 July 2015

Weather for 2... :)


Hellur pple, hows every? It's been like two weeks gone and I've missed you guys. How’s your week going sha? Good/Bad? The Lord is in control. As its TGIF, we gast to all Turn up whether it is by sleeping or partying, sha make it worthwhile. How was Sallah, not even one of you offered me meat, Diaris god… I'd do my own back. That aside mehn last week was too Turnt, I got to meet the vibrant Ellahillz and the over pretty Ralleyat. I know I manage to be fine small, but those girls are hella pretty and so are their hearts too. We got to care for orphans and also hangout and fulfill the cravings of our tummy (and that's pizza and ice cream and if only we were more flamboyant we would have added crepes, cake and shakes. Don't judge me nah, person no fit like better thing again!). And a big thank you to my brother in the Lord, my uncle, my guidance counselor, and class captain DURU for making all this possible (P.S Duru I still don't like you sha), we appreciate.



Anywhichways, the raining season is back with its cold night and wet mornings. I just have to admit, its my favorite time of the year, cause I don't have to be working under the scorching sun (asif I never black reach, this sun would now just be misbehaving. Abeg it's not a competition oh Dear Sun, I know I'm hot *joker smile* but Dear sun you are the hottest now, so stop harassing me, chimo). So as we all know, the sweet sweet weather is also known as weather for two according to our generation but weather for planting/farming according to my Dad’s generation. I think I'd agree with our generations own to an extent (yes I agree I'm a lazy ass). Oh well as it implies weather for TWO (meji, biyu, deux).) a sombory and another somebory, not girl and girl or boy and boy oo (yes again I don't support gays or lesbians, but no hard feeling it's their choice), It's a he and a she matter. So do you have you a second sombeory that completes your duo?! if no then buy a double tog duvet and make several cups of hot tea for cold nights, if yes I have few words of advice for you. *wears evil smile*

1. Do not visit each other too much, it might be dangerous

2. Do not stay in secluded area, what are you looking for 

3. Do not dress over sexy, whose eye do you want to remove 

4. Condoms and birth controls are not too expensive, except if you have money to buy pampers be forming your pull-out game is strong

5. Go out on romantic walks the breeze is wonderful and you'd keep fit

6. Two much hugging and looking into each others eyes is prohibited for the mean time

7. Try gardening together it's fun and weather compatible

8. Don't be stingy and buy small umbrella instead family size will do just fine

9. No break up sex, postpone it to when the sun is really hot, I bet you’d be through in seconds and out of each others lives forever

10. Try cooking meals together the heat in the kitchen will keep you warm (and the kitchen table is for kitchen activities not otherwise so back off.....errrr didn't I say back off so what are you still imagining, chai shildren of this generation yaf spoil)

Do not let this beautiful weather deceive you if not you will have a lot of explanation for your unborn child. You don't need him or her to keep warm in bed, a simple duvet will do, but instead when the cravings for such comes… Do a lot of activities together like cooking, gardening, exercising, dancing (I don't mean under the rain before you say my advice gave you cold and catarrh). Indulge in positive things and community service. That’s what weather for two should mean, not the generally perceived meaning of keeping each others beds warm. But if you are sha married you are free to keep warm any how you want in or out of the bedroom.
 
Closing remarks: thank you for wasting 3 minutes and 34 seconds of your time reading this. I didn't have inspiration to write anything today, cold was catching me too much and NEPA decided today is not the day for No Power supply, so I am just looking at the ceiling in my room and shivering (my duvet is not thick enough incase you are wondering). Enjoy your weekend and do stay blessed.

Instagram: @ijagz


#ItcanonlybeGOD

17 comments:

  1. Chai! See beautiful beautiful girls, ijagz is such a beauty. Before saying anything,i love your blue dress die,though i didn't get to see the whole beauty of the gown. Lol! Ehnehn biko i agree with you on this matter of weather for two jor. As for me ehn, will just keep to crocheting all the way. *shines incomplete teeth*

    modhancrochet.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Baby girl u are getting me all emotion Na to cry remain. Thanks a lot dear. I'd post a full picture one day. *shines complete but yellow teeth*

      Delete
  2. Lol, funny post.. Don't be stingy buy an umbrella did it for me sha.. This is a weather when a lot of kids are made. A lot of things are happening right now for married people but we the single ones need to hug our duvet very well that's all. Lol.

    GABBY SPEAKS BLOG

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. My dear sister is to jejely hug our duvet that we can do ooo, the Lord is our muscle. Thanks

      Delete
  3. I love this post. Simply beautiful. Biko nwannem, which school una go learn how to write like this, ehh? tell me abeg make I go enroll. Una wan finish me ooo! I go leave my chores enter una blog forget myself inside am. cheiy I helep me ooo! :o)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. My head is just swelling, Biko take it easy with us ooo, it's d Lords doing. Thanks dear and don't allow us to be the reason you forget food on fire

      Delete
    2. Hehehhehehehehehheheh @Forget food on Fire... Ijagz you ehn... lmao... heheheheheh @ Cladora... Blame Ijagz oh!!! I literally learnt how to write from her... :)

      Delete
  4. Wow, it was a never nice post, I couldn't help but laugh oooo

    www.icelaw.me

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks dear, here to always put a smile on your faces

      Delete
  5. Hahaha @be forming your pull out game is strong
    Nma's Blog 

    ReplyDelete
  6. Hello, and what a nice photo, it must have been a nice meeting indeed. Its always great to meet new people especially bloggers. Your list and advice seems practical, but I can bet that Mr. Duru will beg to differ with most of the things listed. All in all, good post.

    Its been a rainy week here, with winds and plunging temperatures. Hopefully the coming week will see more sunshine.

    Have a good week, and best wishes!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Heheheheheh gbam... King BlogoraTTi You know me too well sir... Leave Ijagz let her be jonesing herself... ain't no beRRa way of getting warm than a woman Embrace... **shines theeth... Thanks for coming by always sir...Thank for the ghen ghen support sir...

      Delete
  7. Hehehhehehehhehehehe this Child is crazy... Lmao... It's funny cause I just sat down to read this... and Ayam laughing like a fish... lmao... @ Pull out game... Ijagz you need laying of hands... ati flogging of cane... lmao Wait!!! So you haf Uncle Zoned me just like that?! Diarisgodooooo oh Bubba... **crying in Spanish... lmao Thanks For making my Evening Baby... Cheers...

    ReplyDelete
  8. ijag.....hmmmmm...juicy..lol..oh well, i think Ijag just has a very beautiful soul..nice piece darl. d way we blended that very day even before headn to the orphanage was one to behold...I was privileged to be with d perfect company..To the young and confused gang, so much love is worrying me for you guys, the bond is amazing

    ReplyDelete
  9. ijag.....hmmmmm...juicy..lol..oh well, i think Ijag just has a very beautiful soul..nice piece darl. d way we blended that very day even before headn to the orphanage was one to behold...I was privileged to be with d perfect company..To the young and confused gang, so much love is worrying me for you guys, the bond is amazing

    ReplyDelete
  10. Lmaoo let me just print this thing and paste on my office and room walls. Sombory cannot be too careful

    ReplyDelete