Monday, 31 August 2015

Moon and Mirrors...



Pre-Script! Yyyyyyooo!!! I found me a new Blogger Gang.. Her name is Lady G… heheheh mehn I had to be on my desk by noon last Saturday.. needed to cover up slacks I made at a meeting the day before... andddd I sheepishly spent the entire morning.. making unprotected love to her Blog.. hehehe.. She smart like that.. annnd I won Airtime.. How cool can that get Gang?! Please check her out .. Just click on>>>> Oshey!Turn uP! To Go to her Blog.. She smart and she beauRRiful like that.. **Whispers.  Trust me nah! Team.. I think aYam crushing again.. **Wears Evil smile…

Turn uP! Turn uP! Ladies and Gentlemen.. How are we this ghen ghen day?! Soooo.. Happy last day of the month ba?! Whoop! Whoop!! September is Hia! Insha Allah yeah.. Christmas cloth loading.. Meat cooking with water all over gas loading… and ehhhmmm..  Insha Allah too.. Banger AKA Fireworks.. AKA kpo kpo Kpo.. Aka.. Okay that’s about it for AKA’s… All sha loading. We thank GOD we are here.. Biko #ItcanonlybeGOD… So how was the weekend gang?! Hope you guys Turned uP! Oh! Wait first… Holl uP! Holl uP!! Holl uP!!!  How many of you know that Moby koko finally had her Passport Disvirgined?! hehehe kai! I soo cannot wait to break the hymen on my passport shaa.. So Moby! Biko buy Chocolate and bia oh!

        1. “JdB I am disappointed at your acSHions”
            2. “Daddy, you know my stand on this…”
            3. “JdB, I AM A MARRIED WOMAN!”

So guys.. In the light of my vision 2015 aim of geRRing laid without dating.. Behold above in the exact particular order.. heheheh..  the replies the last 3 ladies used to say NO! Now #3 happened on my 3 cities Tour last Week.. and right then when I got the NO ehhnn!! I just knew effective immediate that “oh Boy Sleeping, around is not your calling..” heheheh I mean it was crystal clear that the Cassanova life which I have wanted so dearly since like 15 is not for me.

You know yeah Gang! I admire people like the beauRRiful Sophie and King BlogoraTTi.. Folks who appreciate and notice even the most minute of details, as indicated in their writing.. You know nah.. like the ripples in a pond abi Bucket of waRRer..  the droplets of rain on their skin…  the mildness or harshness of the rays from the sun, the calmness of the sea  ati be be lo. But me ehn! For Wia?! LatiBo?! aYam just too confused a human being to notice all these ghen ghen things.. hehe I think My life is too fast to pause and notice.. **Covers face.

Of all the things I don’t pay attention to the most ehhnn.. the 2 major ones are; My shadow when I work daily at 5; 45 Am to work, and my Reflection when I walk pass the mirror in the house to wash my plate outside. Now I do not pay attention to either of both things cause to me yeah.. They are insignificant. But in recent times, I have had me asking me kweSHions.. and beginning to pay attenSHion to these 2 minute details.
You see our Shadow is an integral part of our life.. Standing with us in the calm Moon light and showing me to be more muscular than I am, and often times increasing our Height.. Our shadow tells us who we are not..  I mean when working with a geh that neither has Bobby or ** In Egbon Toin’s voice… ikebe.. the shadow turns the tale around and makes the lady look like Cossy and Kim kardashian.. and even me that is flat chested like bonga fish… My shadow on Fidelity Bank by Sanusi Fafunwa makes me look a Hunk. To me ba, I think the shadow hides from us the things that truly matter, showing us only but a frame but not details.


But the Reflection in the mirror ehn.. it shows me for what aYam.. a Black faced.. Orange seeded… yellow boRRied... Bald becoming..  18 ribbed, skinny leGGed.. woman wrapper Dreamer… yep! @ CatWoman toh sure and Favor toh Sexy :) Drooling is allowed **Tongue out.. The mirror hides nothing but in all sincerity paints me for what I am.. a lekpa Horny 23 years 10 months 19 days Young and Confused man.. **Sobs..

This post was inspired by the fact that I tried to sleep with a Married woman some time last week.. she hacSHually came by my hotel room.. But still somehow had the decency to say No! to my advances… and i was like! WaRRaHell?! why come if you will not lemme do?! then in anger yeah… I asked her to leave if she wanted... And walking on Sanusi fafunwa last week Wednesday.. It had me looking at my shadow and wondering who I was becoming. But more importantly yeah.. as I walk past the Guest Room mirror.. It makes me ask myself… Is this the me that I want to Self destroy?!

Gang truth is.. We all cannot be Life changers.. Life Impacters, Cassanova’s, Players, Leaders, Presidents AKA SLAVES of Associations, Engineers, Musicians, Doctors, Pharmacists Et al.. But regardless of what it is that we want to become.. The bane of my confusions this morning Great Young mind is that we look within us and ask our self who we want to listen to.. The mirror that tells the truth for all eternity.. or the shadow which shows us the truth for only a brisk minute... Cause on the long run yeah, our choices make us gang, and our choices are decided by our believes. So what do you choose to believe reading this?! The frame in the Shadow that tells a lie.. That tells us to live for today and forget about tomorrow?! or the Reflection in the mirror that says We should live a life of genuine purpose?!  To what will you listen?! what reflection will you accept?! what image will you take?! Cause thinking about it yeah.. The image in the mirror is same same both in the hot sun and in the cool moon.. But then Our Shadows disappear when shi gets real I.E when the HOT sun comes out to play. Please choose wisely gang.

Thank you for the past 7 minutes of your time team.. You do us a great honor with it. My prayer for you this week is that you will impress your yesterday to the extent that your past achievements will see you and get jealous.. #PastorJdBMode HactiFated. **Wears Cheeky smile...

Blogger Stats

And our YnC Reader of the month of August is My personal long time intellectual and physical crush.. Ms Onyilolola Sobowale..  **Plays GODWIN in teh background :) Thank you for always Nne. Insha Allah yeah… Your picSHur will be up on the wall of the blog and my heart all September. LoF you scaRra. Thank you for always...

Insha Allah yeah..My top 3 posts for the Month of August are.. **drum Roll…

1.Chynanu: Now my Otunne wrote a post titled Dear Duru earlier this month and I had an #ItcanonlybeGOD moment straight away… I mean the post was so apt and then I like the fact that she challenged my confused intellect with it.. heheh You needed to see me asking my Colleague for Bible verses and smooshing the life outta Google to Tackle the smart points raised.. Mehn Check it out if you can gang.. Biko nu.

1a. IbukunWrites: This lady is an uber fantastic writer I jammed on Instagram.. Think it was via Kemi Adetiba’s page.. She is amazingly smart with the mind of a goddess.. So Ibukun wrote this post about how hard it isbeing female.. and although I couldn’t relate fully with the whole Woman Physiology ish.. But her High reasoning struck me like lightning.. Biko check it out if you can team.. Pretty please... 

2. Favor Moyse: By my standing.. This is one of the smartest Children I have ever met.. She shared this post about Infidelity.. and I was like  Yyyyyyyooo.. hehehe Please click on >>>>>> She gaT it hehe.. To read.

2b. Janyl: Aha! You already know nah.. I mean Trust my Blog Mother to never slow down..  Mama wrote this really super post  in August and I laughed all through.. I mean I had neFer eFer seen Janyl in this Humorous light.. So who stole what?! 

3. Princess: Now this childs love for GOD is just unwavering.. She did this ghen ghen post about hearing GOD Almighty speak.. and it was all shades of plane Truth.. You needed to see me going all born again in her comment secSHion.. **Winks.. Theres a pastor in us all I guess… **Shines teeth.

3b. Sophie: You already know nah gang.. In my head ehnn..  Sophie is the Onyeka Onwenu of Blogger.. Always making sense.. I read this post and I was like wow! So Potato can remove excess Salt.. and then Wabam! she twisted it and made an inspirational  message out of a salty pot of soup with plenty meat. How much smarter can a 23 years old child get bikonu?! 

3c. Your’s Truly; Now this Nne is just amazing.. She runs a top Notch Blog that is consistently sharing gists that noboRRy else shares. She shared a letter to Nigerian Parents and I was like.. Word.. Please check it out if you can gang… Its a gbam read like that.

Cheers gang.

Instagram: @youngandconfusedafrica


#Udo #YoungandConfusedAfrica #ItcanonlybeGOD

Thursday, 27 August 2015

#ClubBangerAlert!





Following the successful release of LizzyLu's first single titled "Oluwa Sure Pass" which garnered impressive radio airplay as well as TV rotation, the sensational singer follows up with her new single titled "O.B.E.Y". The song is a mid-tempo reggae love song which expresses the strong bond of love that should not be neglected in relationships."O.B.E.Y" features the amazing BrownShuga and produced by the ace producer- JaySleek.
Listen up and enjoy.


Please click on Ghen Ghen to Download and Listen. :)

Twitter/IG; @Lizzyluluwide

Duru: Oshey Turn uP! Hiya Gang.. This is a quickie i had to do.. Cause this is my own personal someboRRy.. Please click on the highlighted link above to download the song and jam it sooooteeeeyyy.. Your neighbors will learn the lyrics.. hehehe Thank me later gang.. Oya Bye Bye...

#ItcanonlybeGOD

Wednesday, 26 August 2015

Ehiz_Preaches: My HOME, My FAMILY...


Duru: Whoopp WhooppppeR!! WhoopeST!!! The ghen ghen Ehiz is back :)

Hi guys.. Its been a minute and i sincerely apologize. lets just say Life has been mega busy... Thank you team for for the love and support, you guys are an amazing bunch xxoo... So with out much adoo.. lets do this shall we? Do you remember those times in high school when you would be asked to write a composition on something? I remember very well, the first time I was asked to write on “my home” in secondary school, I had the worst article lol, the English teacher who was surprised because she knew I was quite good with writing and speaking, ( I mean at 2nd week of my first term in JSS 1, I had been nominated into the literary and debating society by the proprietress herself because of my very first impromptu speech) had to call me to the staff room and asked that I sit there with her and write. I was lost, I sat for about 10 minutes into the time, my head blank, because after the first paragraph describing how many we were, our house address, and every other thing I wrote in the first one, I didn’t know what else to write. To cut the long story short, she noticed I was lost, explained what the article was supposed to entail and I wrote.

Now I ask you, what exactly is YOUR HOME?

People would define the HOME as comprising primarily of the father, mother and children. But does this definition do justice to the word itself? My answer is NO! The word “home” is too big to be described, or put down to the bare definition of father, mother and children. It goes way beyond that.Your home, is your family, and everybody that has played a vital role in shaping your life.
Your home, your family, is the strongest support system you or I can ever have. When you have problems, when situations arise that you can’t handle, they are the ones who wade in and help you through that phase. Friends are helpful, yes, but there is nothing like family. There always has to be at least one person who has your back no matter how bad things are.

Not only does your family support you, it also plays a very important role in shaping the mindset of its members. I can tell you that about 60% of my values are values of my family. This is why my heart bleeds when I think about the increasing rate of divorce in our society. I mean if the father and mother are separated, it always has devastating effect on the children because every tiny little detail is embedded in the hearts of these kids.

I know of someone who comes from a broken home, she is so lackadaisical about life and about her mother who she stays with, she literally seems to have given up on that structure “home” and she doesn’t mince words when she tells you that she doesn’t really care about having a family someday. This is someone in her late 20s may I remind you, trust me, it is a big issue!

When there is a broken home, it is really hard to teach those core values that are supposed to enable the children develop to become independent beings. I remember a particular lecturer who would always say “the homes are completely broken down” and go on to tell us, his students, that this was the reason why many of us had serious life problems. Of course, then we we were really upset and would go “why would he say our homes are broken down” but looking back, I realize that he was actually right.

When was the last time you as a parent sat your children down to tell them of your own life experiences, or to teach THE WORD to them. A very long time ago I guess?! Money is a very important factor in the family, but acquiring it should not be the foundation upon which your children are raised.

When was the last time you sought to enquire about who the friends of your children are? No matter how well you bring up your child, if his/her friends are bad, it may all go to waste. Little wonder, the saying “evil communication corrupts good manners”.

When was the last time you had a conversation with your child in general, discussing her likes and dislikes.. discussing you and what he or she thinks about most of your rules?! Bringing up a child should not be a one way thing, because your children have opinions too, seek their views, let them actually contribute and when they are wrong, explain to them why you won’t compromise on your decision.


THE HOME is a very important factor that makes up our society, we should treat it as such, because it is very fragile and can be easily broken.

Thank you guys for the love and support both on here and on https://theblessingiyama.wordpress.com you guys are a wonderful bunch. Thank you Duru for having me.

By; Blessing Ehiz (Compere/Host/Writer and Duru's Friend)

Instagram: @blessingiyama 


#ItcanonlybeGOD

Monday, 24 August 2015

#MyBachelorsDiary_ Will I ever find LOVE?!


I'm D-banj.. And I want to Hmnnn… heheheh  **Bumping Head..  hehehe If your waist big then you get #Potential.. #CONFIDENTIAL… Hiya guys.. whats good?! Whats Happening?! mehn… I am uber pumped up right about now eh… Oya lemme deceive myself.. **In Idris Elba’s voice.. They say me money e long like  hmmnnn..  Please who has heard Confidential by Shadow boxer ft Ejanla and Idris Elba! Yes we gonna do it at my suite.. #Presdiential… Idris Elba and D’Banj and Shadow Boxer just slayed it.. hehehe This is one of those days I am proud to say Oooooosssshhheeey Turn uP.. **Shouting Rolling in My imaginary Bentley.. Chilling IN my Kokolet **Tongue out..  Yes I got my things up.. #Confidential… Dayo Oyebanjo is back...



Hiya guys please totally ignore the first paragraph.. I was listening to Confidential by Dayo Oyebanjo and leRRus just say that that gbedu has me high like I put Cannabis in my Coffee while eating my Daily Bread and Akara.. So how are we Gang?! How was the week?! How is the GboGbotigbo?! Bikonu eh if ya a lady and ya reading this.. Please I have a small kweshion eh! Its 9: 43 AM (or there about..) And i just returned from the food market where I finally was brave enough to Tackle those Meat sellers.. Kai! Those meet Sellers at that Ode Eran ehnn.. 2 things i dunno much about..

1. How much Salt to put inside White Rice...

2. How to price Red meat...

I mean those meat sellers they don’t fear god sam sam.. So today yeah.. I took in deep breaths and went to price goat leg as instructed by the Family... Now my fear is that they cheated me.  Hehehe Wait leMme even chip this in..  The man said and I quote..

“Fine Boy like you, You no get money”

Hehehe you go fear nah! Na by Fine face them dey know who get money ni.. Issorait.. Back to the pricing session.. As I approached the meat table ehhnnn.. The Igbo in me came out FULL FORCE VA VA like boiling water and I priced all the pricing I could price.. me i can like change shaa.. Anyhow sha.. To cut the Story short.. I have a feeling that the man still cheated me.. So what do you think?! Naira 1,900  for 1, Eyonkan.. Ofu.. Un.. Goat leg.. Its too much ba?

video

This is a quickie post I have to do.. Its Saturday and I am rushing to the office.. Just returned from the food market.. but I have to be at my desk today as I will be absent on Monday cause I will have Official malaria on Monday.. heheheh Please who has experienced Official Malaria before.. **Clears Throat then  **Whispers.. It is the Malaria you have only on the body of your E-mail of absence to HR. **Covers face.. So having that I will have official malaria on Monday… I figured I might not have good  internet access where I will be at, hence I said to schedule this post for Monday.. So here goes… lets Dance, shall we?! Its my first attempt at Auto scheduling a post.. i do hope it works though...

The Koko of Today’s post is just plain Ironical… And while it is so…  **covers face.. I think I am in love with a child from my past.. Not sure though.. Yep! aYam confused like that.. 

Now I totally cannot understand this love thing anymore.. I mean How hard could it be to find love?! To find someone that will call you after teh 8-5 just to ask how your day was? Growing up it was always really simple for me then.. I mean Teenage Love is as simple as; "I love you Talk oya your own back.." hehehe Bet  now ehnn.. **cleans sweat.. **In Rita Dominic’s voice.. OYO is your case, as It feels like a herculean task to find someboRRy I love.. I mean it feels just too DAMN complex now.. bet you know the part that I don’t understand sam sam. Well here goes..

"How come those we like always LOVE us in return, but those we LOVE with all our heart never even acknowledge us, talkless of like us.?!"

Meeehnnn  the thing taYa me eh aswear… Its just too hard to understand why?! I mean why cant Love just be simple?! "Boy meets geh.. geh likes Boy.. Boy Likes geh.. Boy tries to sleep with geh.. Geh forms and at the end says Yes and boy says I was just testing you.. I love you.. I will wait for wedding night.. hehehe **Yimu.. they get married and live happily ever after..... With plenRRy good sex oh!  Most times when I think about how hard love is yeah.. I get so mad that I literally wanna tear my skin open.. heheh ** Deep Breath JdB.. **Deep Breaths.. cause In bae's voice.. Eez neFer that deep biko…

My life has been mega fun in a bit gang… I met a new lady who I really like.. and it is more than sure that she likes me back.. hehee Cause the things we say to each other ehnn.. choi!!!! If her folks or her Boyfriend find out ehn.. aYam officially Died.. But then there is a problem.. What you ask gang?! “BoyFriend” that’s what.. She is “HITCHED”.. But mehhnn this child is fine like kilode.. I mean her beauRRy is kinda like Esther’s and Cee's and she is uber cool like Sophie.. Now its obvious that she likes me.. but then I just don’t geRRit why she cannot DUMP her boyfriend and follow me.. heheheh I know that sounds harsh but can someboRRy like 2 people at the same time gang?! After all if she really did like the first person so much, then she wouldn’t have fallen for the second person which luckily and FINALLY is moi nah… abi? Oh! I forgot.. We cannot date cause her family don’t want Omo Igbo..


Nextly leRRus not even go too far.. You all know that the lady I have the softest spot for on the universe right now ba?! I mean her beauty to me is perfectly flawless.. I mean i doubt if I will ever love anyBoRRy as much as i loved her.. She is perfect.. But then I have a feeling that she doesn’t like me anymore as much as I do her.. Sooo we are stuck in the Friend Zone... **Crying in Spanish... Now to say that this doesn’t hurt me is to lie.. But then I don’t really blame ladies who don’t wanna get intimate with me.. Cause thinking about it yeah.. Any lady that LOVES me.. Okay forget love sev.. that’s too Complex… Anylady that as much as “LIKES” me must deserve a Grammy.. heheheh I think I am waaayyyy too  much of a clown and a dreamer to be loved.. But hey.. I guess this is why I will adore my wife.. Cause insha Allah yeah... she must have stuck with me for a length before October 2019.. Well That’s if she stays with me long enough..

To conclude this thought yeah.. I have been thinking of a particular child for a bit… I met her just after I wrote my final exam at IMSU.. Now this child is uber amazing and she has the smile that radiates the room.. with her appearance Glowing like the sun itself.. But sadly yeah, we lost contacts and I haven’t seen or heard from her in literally forever… Now of recent, I have been thinking of her so so so much..hehehehe Her father is 1 big time politician… Did I mention that?!  Okay.. So just keep that part in your head first eh…  Cause last night yeah.. While I went on a Social Media rage..  Like the ghen ghen Nma Taught us ba.. I searched for her on literally every platform alive.. Bing oh, Instagram oh!, FaceBook oh.. Google oh.. but For Wia?! and when it all failed.. I resolved to apply my Instagram and facebook stalking skill on her relations….. SOOOO I went to her wall and traced all people close to her sending them very lonnnnggggg ghen ghen messages of how i miss their niece and all.. Now the kicker is one of the people I mumu-ishly sent messages to, happened to be her Uncle who is near 50 and held her when she was born.. Omo ehhnn gang… If you see threaten wey the man threaten me ehn.. hehehehe the fear was real.. I was literally like. "Aha! Sir eez neFer that deep nah.. I am sorry oh! Na LoF dey shack me.. " hehehehe… Oh well, you cannot blame them; Na Naija we dey!! But Luckily her Twin sister replied.. Now I dunno why but I have a good feeling about her… Hopefully she might be the ONE… Don’t worry Gang. You will be in the loop… Insha Allah.. Amma propose soon.. hehehhehehe call me crazy yeah.. But I am thinking Marriage already.. **Shines teeth…

Thank you for the past 7 minutes of your time Gang.. You do us a great Honor with it.. My prayer for you going into this week is simple, and it is that GOD’S will will be done, and noboRRy will break your heart or threaten you with Police because of L:of Nwan Tin Tin.. heheheh **Shines teeth


Blogger Stats:

Favour Moyse.. Now by Far ehn… Favour is one of the smartest sHildren I hav ever met on Blogger.. I mean just like my Otunne Ada, I go to Favour’s blog with huge intellectual HexSPectaSHion… To learn.. To be inspired and to grow.. and she neFer falls my hand.. I mean wow.. wow..wow.. Gang.. Please check out her blog and be wowed..and Yyyyyyaaayyy she called me yesterday and I was smiling like a fish…

Ausserehl..  Now I try as hard as possible to not get too personal with Bloggers  cause they most times end up leaving me… But you see with Ausserehl I feel Bliss and Trust.. She Is at this moment the queen of my Blogsville Heart.. I mean the way I admire Ausserehl yeah.. and loF her mind ehnn.. You would feel like we are related by Blood.. She is just uber cool like that aswear.. If you haven’t been to her blog ehn! And you think all my Awwing isn’t True..  Then I am sorry you are sitting on a long thing.. She is ghen ghen like that.. Check her page and Aww with me.. **Shines teeth..

Ms Chrissy… Guys you need to meet Chrissy.. I mean y’all just need to.. She is ghen ghen like that aswear.. and and all shades of fun.. I love+ love+love how I can connect to her like a Nokia Charger to a Charging Port.. I mean its just like I can connect so easily to Sophie.. I still wonder how old she is though.. Cause she is soooo full of life… And has a ghen ghen Blog.. If you can Gang.. Please go by her blog ASAp.. And Kiss opr Shake my Hand leRRa…

Cheers Gang..and do have a ghen ghen week…  **Bumping head to Shadow Boxers line..

P.S: By the Time of Publishing this post.. I might not be in Lagos.. Please pray for me Gang.. I have a couple of meetings… But if anyBoRRy at work asks.. Please tell them I have Malaria…

Instagram: @youngandconfusedafrica


#Udo #ItcanonlybeGOD

Thursday, 20 August 2015

#FeatureThursday_ The Dizzy Bride By Mr. Bond (Ofenchichi)


Pre-Script.. Whhhhhooosssshh Gang! Hiya! So we are delving into Poetry nah ehh.. heheh not EFFery day woman wrapper tales nah... **covers face.. and in the sweet voice of the ghen ghen One + THE ONE yeah... I loovvveeeeett.. hehehheheh I have known Mr. Bond from wayyy back in MOJ IMSU. and My am I glad he sent this in.. Oya lemme do small poetry for y'all.. **Brace yaself.. My Love for ye all is like Kilimanjaro... hehehe E too High to heXSplain.. Oya Bye bye.. **Shines teeth... See Y'all at the end gang..


Today she commits to another diversity,
The genesis of her second verse.
Indeed a journey she embarks alone…
Without her father’s full protection
The bridge that takes her to womanhood.

Dad’s little girl has grown into a gorgeous woman,
Blossoming like the hibiscus flower,
All features pleasing to the eye.
As a bride and princess she is decorated,
Beads hung around her neck, hair, wrist and ankle.
Astonishing is her makeover and beautification,
Looking more lovely than ever.

Today another man takes her home,
Father’s consent he has already secured.
and soon he arrives with his people, to claim his betrothed bride.
While all sing her a family song in full excitement,   
Nobody understands her intimate feeling,
Yet a bright smile she put on  still,
Like a veil to cover her brokenness...

“My princess is ready to go”, father sincerely echoes.
At everyone’s accepting glee, clap and joyful noise fill the environs.
His face beaming like the proud Dad of an Olympic Athlete,
Mother runs around to fix the dishes,
While father welcomes guests and well wishes.
As all and sundry gather in tones,
All is set or so it seems.

After consummating the ceremony of matrimony,
With clapping, cymbals and drums they will lead her.
To the border they shall all go,
Like a warrior sent on an evil conquest.
Abandoned on the village boundary,
Just at the entrance of the dreadful forest,
Yet his quest is for the good of all and sundry.

Here she seats, in her hushed mood she sobs.
Still pondering over her decision to marry him,
A verdict she took not out of love, 
but as a burden and a favour to her family.
Her father’s wish to respect, and mother’s to please.

My heart aches for another she wails, more humble, kind and caring,
A lover and a companion, with affection as an endless spring…
Yet Wealth and riches blindfolds father,
Whatever I say means nothing to him.
Adanna… Sold to a stranger for wealth and connection,
Indeed I have been betrayed she cry's,
By the very man that protected me all my life.

Today I always dreamt would be my happiest day,
But here I am… a Dizzy Bride, struggling to barely holdout my smile.
My body feeling like I am trampled upon by a thousand soldiers,
Deep in my bone marrow I can feel it.
Everything is wrong with this marriage,
My father has sentenced me to modern day slavery.

She thinks out loud.. 
A Wealthy in-law shouldn’t be a compensation for training me Dad,
For the first time Dad walks away from her plight.
This matter really is of grievous magnitude,
Though ‘powers that be’ forbid me to expresses my love,
Lest he becomes a casualty of fortuitous revolt.
But I have chosen a path; I will confront my Dad for the last time,
And if I can’t be with my Love, neither will he… with his bride.
Poison settles it...

Onyenze Nnaemeka  (Mr BOND)

BOND poems © August 10, 2015

#ItcanonlybeGOD

Monday, 17 August 2015

15-for-15 Challenge_ Family (August Post): 18 -TO- 25




Pre-Script: Dear Reader.. I thank You… For giving me a reason to be.

Oooooooossssshhhheeey Turn uP! Whats uP?! Whats uP?!! Whats uP?!!!! Hiya Gang.. whats cracking?! Kilon pop?! Kilo’n haPPin ni?! How was your weekend?! ** Clears Throat.. Who had fun like Moby Koko And Fine geh Sophie?! These lots are always enjoying their selves ehnn.. Check their Instagram page.. Na every Saturday Turn uP them dey on top eh! But Sophie will neFer hint me oh.. **Crying in Latin…  Kai! Sheybe you people see life?! :(... Omo no time to check time eh, cause checking Time is wasting Time.. This life is kukuma too short to be sitting down in one single place and be counting how many Ex’s you have HAD! Instead go out there and make lof.. Fall in lof.. Live in Lof.. Sha enjoy yaself.. inshort just be happy.. But be safe while at it oh! Mehnnn  “LIVE HAPPY” that’s sha the koks of the maRRa!.. So having that I am the **In beautiful Lola’s voice.. Omokekere  of the Duru’s Mansion.. hehehe ehnn.. **Scratches head… I know we don’t have a Mansion YET! But that one concern you.. aYam #TeamFakeItTillWeMakeIt.. Plus that’s Faith.. **Wears cheeky smile then **Shines teeth.. So on Saturday after going to the Food market for Nne in the morning.. She now came and went and postponed the Stew cooking till night.. and unluckily for me that was when I was going to wash my afternoon plate.. note this was around 7 (PM) ish like Ribena says it.. yep! My room used to keep plate till Dinner time.. Shoot me. :p But eez not entirely my fault oh.. That Downstairs is too far.. Sooo.. As I was complaining sha.. Nne now said I should help her buy Tomato Paste so the stew can be many heheheh! And I obliged.. like I had a choice?! Na Hungry for kill me that night if i say NO.. Ehenn.. As I stepped out ehn.. Mma Mmiri AKA Urine was nah catching me.. So I got to one house near ours.. Now growing up ehnnn… Rumour had it that the owner of that House was a Ritual someboRRy.. the House has always been scary sha.. still is…  But as I walked by the house.. and the thought to relieve myself by the fence of that house came ehn! Omo mmehn the Urine itself used his own hand to go back inside.. And as a Law abiding citizen breaker.. I went onward and on a wall clearly marked DO NOT URINATE.. I relieved myself.. Moral lesson.. Humans NO! Scratch that! Nigerians fear winchie winchie spirit more than they do laws. heheh

Soo…  This is growing up ba?! Blaaahh! It not so all I expected.. I mean its fun oh! With the freedom and GOD’S grace and experience et al.. But it is so frigging… **Takes off wrist watch.. ehen.. As I was FrriGGiing.. it is so frigging fast that I literally feel like I am just phasing through time on some days.. GANG lemme just openly say that 18- to- 25 has by far being the hardest moment of my life emotionally and internally.. You know.. so many stupid choices have been made.. more like regretted. I have had to see life for what it really is.. But all in all yeah.. Insha Allah.. I have built a foundation for which I am most grateful for.. And then I have met you awesome people.. and the crowd goes awwwgghhh.. This will always be a high point of my life FOREVER.. Metting you all. Thank you guys. All all in all  yeah… Growing uP just feels one kain. 

All my life I have wanted to be 25.. But as November the 12th 2016 comes closer yeah.. It kinda scares the hell outta me… So Gang! I'm JdB.. a 23 years 9 months 5 days old Man abi na Boy (sha pick one all na same same).. And this is what 18- to- 25 feels like.. Lets dance shall we?!

**Takes off Confused Bracelet..

A VOICE IN THE WILDERNESS;


One of the most ghen ghen things about being 23 is the eagerness to SPEAK but more importantly the yearning to be HEARD... I had a crazy argument with my family last week.. It wasn’t more like an Argument per say.. Okay lemme not deceive myself… it was! **Covers face.. It was a meeting and they were not just geRRing me.. It was like my points weren’t valid.. I said it calmly but they wouldn’t budge.. raised my Tone and they sincerely told me with love that I was Howling.. heheheheh The thing about being this Age is that you think you know a lot.. You begin to think that the old school perspective have been wrong all this while or are no longer valid.. Everything begins to feel a tad surreal.. In your head you are a genius and your points ALONE are valid.. Mehn during the meeting of last week yeah.. barr. Duru said something in the lines of;

“Junior What we do not know is above us…”

And I guess he is right.. No! I don’t guess. I know he is.. cause having that there was a brief silence for a bit in the house all weekend, thanks to me.. it gave me time to think about all we deliberated on..

Thing is as young people yeah... maybe we don’t really know. Maybe this time of our life is one to listen and not Talk. Cause Dad and my elder siblings have seen the life I haven’t.. Maybe its not time to have my voice yet.. But only time to learn how to speak… Maybe... just maybe.

CRAVINGS! MORE CRAVINGS!! AND MORE CRAVINGS… :)


Hhehehe if you have had the patience to sit down and endure the confusions that spin out of this crazy blog in the past.. **Holl uP lemme count first.. how many months since Ijagz and I split.. **Counts fingers... Okay so thats 10 Months.. So in the last 10 months yeah.. Cravings has been a word on almost every. single. post.. Well I cannot come and goan lie for y’all that aYam a born again someboRRy when ayam not.. Some nights its just hard to sleep.. hehehe I mean I sometimes have to sex chat at night to survive.. meeehnnn If I tell you how many female friends I have lost in the last 10 months ehhnnn.. cause they think I am a total jerk and all.. You will be amazed and slap me.. Inshort recently yeah.. I literally left a whole BLOG abi was shut out.. Me I cannot categorically tell which one happened.. But it was sha cause of cravings.. heheheh I think I shot myself in the leg  on that one… oh well… It is what it is.. But being 23 has my hormones at 212 degres all night every day. You know that’s the temperature at which boiling water turns to vapour.. **Puts one hand on chin and types with the other … but then thinking about it now that my mind is a bit clear makes realize that its not really worth it.. I mean its 10 Minutes or something... But mehnnn.. Those 10 minutes usually feel like an Hour oh! Lemme not lie :)

MEMORIES:


This morning.. Okay before now.. sometime last week I guess.. I read on Facebook when a guy who stayed at the Same lodge with me at IMSU said..

“We should not forget that as we age.. So do our Parents” (Paraphrased)

Now this boy was a CSc student.. You know he is someboRRy like me.. Awon Facebook Martin Luther king’s them that will be churning out ghen ghen quotes on FB with Hashtags like #IykeWill heheh But you see Iyke was right. Being 23 has oftentimes made me forget that everyday brings y'all my Blog gang  and my real Family closer to a distance.. We will all move outta home soon… Travel.. Get married etc. So i think that every moment we have together with our folks.. as a FAMILY… under the one same roof should be maximized.. heheh I mean even after fighting each other like last Friday.. Beers should be shared,  pepersoup made and jokes cracked… Cause in the words of the great Poet Suli Breaks..

“A Family is the Strongest Corporation we can ever create. (paraphrased)

Gang.. Life through my eyes is bloody confusing.. But this morning yeah.. I have a simple request… As young people.. leRRus not forget. LeRRus not forget that there will be the time when our voice will be god. LeRRus not forget that there will be a time when we can have sex 24-7... no scratch that... I meant 25-8 sev till we are tired**Winks. But more importantly yeah.. LeRRus not forget that we, our siblings and our Parents will neFer be young forever.. So in the words of the legendary Blogger Mzz Cladora.. leRRus Live.. Love and Laugh through these years.. Cause when we are old and grey and the Sex and strength are all gone.. All we will be left with are basically memories. So lets make them together... As a Family...

Thank you for the past 7 minutes of your Time gang.. Y’all do us a great Honor with your time team. My prayer for you this morning is that you will haF cause to sing.. **clears throat… **In Korede Bello’s voice.. I don get Alert... #GODWIN.


P.S: Hiya Guys.. I acknowledge with a heart full of thanks reception of the Versatile Blogger Award.. Having that the Blog isn’t just about me alone anymore.. We the Team are still deliberating on the most ghen ghen way to honor it.. I promise we will.. Thank You guys for all the love.. I dunno how you people manage understand what we write here oh! Especially what Ijagz writes **Tongue out… cause me.. Ehiz and Ella are cool like that… :) Thanks guys.. You are our why aswear… Chukwu Gozie gi da da.

Blogger Stats:

ICE: Yyyyyyyaaaayy.. King Ice has graduated from Uni.. hehehe see smallie oh?! Congrats Bruv.. Wishing you a ghen ghen time ahead.. heheh Mehn I remember being just your age.. and it feels just like yesterday.. But its gone forever **Enters Uncle mode.. You know I was Young and full of life once **Scratches invisible grey hair.. hehehe My Child.. Live life and create memories that will last my boy… But all in all yeah.. remember that your life is not yours alone.. But the entire Family's..  Do make  Dad and Mum Proud…  Live for them. My prayer for you is that you achieve Greatness sir in the coming days ahead.. Congratulations Bother.. Please checkout Ice’s Blog here.. He is one of the Craziest fashion Bloggers I know.. I mean Ice is king Biko…

King BlogoraTTi. Now anyboRRy who doesn’t know this name must be a Johnny Just Come on Blogger.. I mean serious JJC.. This guy is by far King of Blogger.. He is on every Blog on my Diary making very insightful comments.. I mean I think there are very few on Blogger who match he and my Blog Mothers wisdom.. cause he has a mind of a god… Take it from me gang.. This isn’t wash.. 1 thing I admire the most about Sir BlogoraTTi is the fact that he talks about life through his own eyes.. and in very few words yeah… he paints an entire picture.. I mean BlogoraTTi is soooo good that he can simply say “Ocean of Life” and those words alone open up your mind.. King I tell you.. He is.. Check out his Blog and see for your self.. and ehenn… He Follows Back ASAP.. No matter what your Genre is.. he reads it all… Really cool guy Gang.. Uber cool I tell you..

Precious Thoughts.. Now it is an obvious fact that aYam not even kukuma close to being born again.. But still yeah.. there is a ghen ghen feeling I derive from reading really insightful posts about GOD’S love and his amazing supremacy.. Now I read this post onPrincess Okechukwu’s page.. and it blew me far away from confusion for a bit.. I mean remain small I for repent there and then sev **Covers face.. The cool thing is it hard me thinking.. you see GOD is GOD.. and he loves us whether we sin or we don’t… Omo leave matter for Mathias.. Check out this post and be blown away.. She smart like that Gang.. Aswear she is.

Instagram: @youngandconfusedafrica (yep we updated it.. It makes us sound like serious someboRRies.. But for wia?! Na play play we dey play there **Winks hehehe). Cheers.

#Udo #ItcanonlybeGOD


Friday, 14 August 2015

Live for TODAY...



Hellurr!! Hope y'all are good?! It's been a while, and I have really missed you guys big time. Mehnn these past days have been really busy for moi, I mean when your Dad employs you as his personal daughter and secretary ehn..  Hexspect to do times two of the work. But I know I will survive sha. Right now I'm at one Nigeria-Niger Joint commission for cooperation kini kna kini kan program like that ba, and I feel I might die of boredom here pretty soon..  but then there is water water tea break *shines teeth* and there is a BIGGG ghen ghen lunch *Shines teeth again* and then to finish the marra.. there is scheduled to be an ABUNDANT dinner **Melts.. So trust me, I live for only those moments in this kind of event.  Hope your week has been a blissful one tho?! Okay! Now let's get straight to the matter of the day shall we??

I want to talk a bit about saving up but still living life. Call me young and confused ehn.. At least I am only 19 and some.. but Forgive me cause I must say that our generation is a short lived one, and it's a fact. I say this cause sadly.. our life spans are becoming shorter generation by generation. What can we blame it on?! modernization which has caused us to derail from the healthy way of living??  or the babanla pollution and technological mishaps?? I mean in this generation ehn.. If you live as long as 80, ma nigga!!! you are an O.G I tell you.

There was a research I recently read somewhere, which stated that 90% of we humans don't spend (before we die) up to 3 percent of the wealth we accrue during our lifetime. That's why you'd see this onyibo someborries dying  and leaving so much (if not all) of their property for a cat or dog.. pityfull.

We work so hard and rest so little, forgetting to not forget to remember that we all have a limited time in this life and won't keep working forever. We just stress ourselves and fuss all day for someone else to bask on when we are gone, always thinking of the future and hardly living in the present. Before I proceed.. I want us to have these at the back of our minds;

"one day we will leave this world behin,d so live a life you will remember" ( *covers face* Oya sorry, I stole this line from an Avicii song :p but it suffices now).

Many of us are always forming “I'm saving up for the future” hence we starve today.. To those I say *Yimu*.. cause come to think of it..  are we even sure there will be any future if not by the grace of God? I mean don’t get it twisted.. It is a good thing to save for the rainy days.. Even the harmattan days too, Infact it is an extremely important thing, but we should also know that spending is very essential as well, and me I can sincerely tell you that I am a major proponent of self love. I mean God said “love your neighbor as yourself” But how can you love your neighbor when you don't even love yourself?! Gerrit??

 
I know a certain somborry *side eyes Nonso* who is even stingy to buy a good bathing soap lol… Some of us will think it to ourselves that it's too hespensive jo..  so lemme just manage 50  Naira green canoe soap. At least soap no dey kill black man, and  ma skin cannot fit spoil. To such people I say.. Shame on you! Why and how can you be so stingy to yourself?! Even if you earn little, there is a budget range you can spend on that you can atleast treat yourself to something good once in a month. Aight Lemme let you guys in on a little personal secret.. There is something I do monthly in which I treat myself to a good meal at a nice classy restaurant.. I even go as far as buying myself a gift once every month. Can I afford the very expensive ones?! NO! But no matter how little or cheap it is.. I make sure I get it FOR ME.. Cause at least, in a not so distant future, I can  I look back and reminisce how good it made me feel.

Pardonmy mini rant guys… But my message this morning is simple… Treat Yourself Right.. Cause life as we see it is only but Temporal.. If you earn Big save a bit but enjoy your today..  This morning I want to task us on a little exercise… If you earn a bit above the average ehn guys… I want you to save up and sponsor yourself on a vacation to some ghen ghen place in the world.. I mean see the world around you a bit, appreciate the work of God through nature. You don't have to go to the popular places, there are affordable places like Benin republic, Ghana or even our own Calabar during the carnival in December, or even Jos and it's beautiful environment and weather. If you are going to keep complaining you have too many problems, my bro/sis I tell you problems will never finish and money can never be enough.



Sometimes we get money and don't even remember what we spent it on. Is it when you are old and can't ride a roller coaster, take ice cream, wear high heels, party with friends that you want to spend your money?! Don't worry your children will help you chop it since u couldn't chop even small out of it. And don't get it twisted you don't live for only yourself but for others, so don't in the name of saving not help people around you. You might not see it as a sin but it is. Remember the story of Lazarus and the rich man in the book of Luke 16?! The rich man didn't go to hell cause he sinned, instead it was cause he had more than enough of the resources to help others ba, but he left Lazarus to die in need. So after all my preaching all I want to say is “ENJOY LIFE BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE.

Me I can sha not come and go and kee mysef. So imma do wha I gotta do to enjoy my life before the clock stops ticking. I hope you have a nice day and enjoy your weekend. Adios and God bless



Sent from borrow borrow iPad that I stole to do this post.. *shines teeth*

Instagram: @ijagz


#ItcanonlybeGOD