Monday, 24 August 2015

#MyBachelorsDiary_ Will I ever find LOVE?!

I'm D-banj.. And I want to Hmnnn… heheheh  **Bumping Head..  hehehe If your waist big then you get #Potential.. #CONFIDENTIAL… Hiya guys.. whats good?! Whats Happening?! mehn… I am uber pumped up right about now eh… Oya lemme deceive myself.. **In Idris Elba’s voice.. They say me money e long like  hmmnnn..  Please who has heard Confidential by Shadow boxer ft Ejanla and Idris Elba! Yes we gonna do it at my suite.. #Presdiential… Idris Elba and D’Banj and Shadow Boxer just slayed it.. hehehe This is one of those days I am proud to say Oooooosssshhheeey Turn uP.. **Shouting Rolling in My imaginary Bentley.. Chilling IN my Kokolet **Tongue out..  Yes I got my things up.. #Confidential… Dayo Oyebanjo is back...

Hiya guys please totally ignore the first paragraph.. I was listening to Confidential by Dayo Oyebanjo and leRRus just say that that gbedu has me high like I put Cannabis in my Coffee while eating my Daily Bread and Akara.. So how are we Gang?! How was the week?! How is the GboGbotigbo?! Bikonu eh if ya a lady and ya reading this.. Please I have a small kweshion eh! Its 9: 43 AM (or there about..) And i just returned from the food market where I finally was brave enough to Tackle those Meat sellers.. Kai! Those meet Sellers at that Ode Eran ehnn.. 2 things i dunno much about..

1. How much Salt to put inside White Rice...

2. How to price Red meat...

I mean those meat sellers they don’t fear god sam sam.. So today yeah.. I took in deep breaths and went to price goat leg as instructed by the Family... Now my fear is that they cheated me.  Hehehe Wait leMme even chip this in..  The man said and I quote..

“Fine Boy like you, You no get money”

Hehehe you go fear nah! Na by Fine face them dey know who get money ni.. Issorait.. Back to the pricing session.. As I approached the meat table ehhnnn.. The Igbo in me came out FULL FORCE VA VA like boiling water and I priced all the pricing I could price.. me i can like change shaa.. Anyhow sha.. To cut the Story short.. I have a feeling that the man still cheated me.. So what do you think?! Naira 1,900  for 1, Eyonkan.. Ofu.. Un.. Goat leg.. Its too much ba?


This is a quickie post I have to do.. Its Saturday and I am rushing to the office.. Just returned from the food market.. but I have to be at my desk today as I will be absent on Monday cause I will have Official malaria on Monday.. heheheh Please who has experienced Official Malaria before.. **Clears Throat then  **Whispers.. It is the Malaria you have only on the body of your E-mail of absence to HR. **Covers face.. So having that I will have official malaria on Monday… I figured I might not have good  internet access where I will be at, hence I said to schedule this post for Monday.. So here goes… lets Dance, shall we?! Its my first attempt at Auto scheduling a post.. i do hope it works though...

The Koko of Today’s post is just plain Ironical… And while it is so…  **covers face.. I think I am in love with a child from my past.. Not sure though.. Yep! aYam confused like that.. 

Now I totally cannot understand this love thing anymore.. I mean How hard could it be to find love?! To find someone that will call you after teh 8-5 just to ask how your day was? Growing up it was always really simple for me then.. I mean Teenage Love is as simple as; "I love you Talk oya your own back.." hehehe Bet  now ehnn.. **cleans sweat.. **In Rita Dominic’s voice.. OYO is your case, as It feels like a herculean task to find someboRRy I love.. I mean it feels just too DAMN complex now.. bet you know the part that I don’t understand sam sam. Well here goes..

"How come those we like always LOVE us in return, but those we LOVE with all our heart never even acknowledge us, talkless of like us.?!"

Meeehnnn  the thing taYa me eh aswear… Its just too hard to understand why?! I mean why cant Love just be simple?! "Boy meets geh.. geh likes Boy.. Boy Likes geh.. Boy tries to sleep with geh.. Geh forms and at the end says Yes and boy says I was just testing you.. I love you.. I will wait for wedding night.. hehehe **Yimu.. they get married and live happily ever after..... With plenRRy good sex oh!  Most times when I think about how hard love is yeah.. I get so mad that I literally wanna tear my skin open.. heheh ** Deep Breath JdB.. **Deep Breaths.. cause In bae's voice.. Eez neFer that deep biko…

My life has been mega fun in a bit gang… I met a new lady who I really like.. and it is more than sure that she likes me back.. hehee Cause the things we say to each other ehnn.. choi!!!! If her folks or her Boyfriend find out ehn.. aYam officially Died.. But then there is a problem.. What you ask gang?! “BoyFriend” that’s what.. She is “HITCHED”.. But mehhnn this child is fine like kilode.. I mean her beauRRy is kinda like Esther’s and Cee's and she is uber cool like Sophie.. Now its obvious that she likes me.. but then I just don’t geRRit why she cannot DUMP her boyfriend and follow me.. heheheh I know that sounds harsh but can someboRRy like 2 people at the same time gang?! After all if she really did like the first person so much, then she wouldn’t have fallen for the second person which luckily and FINALLY is moi nah… abi? Oh! I forgot.. We cannot date cause her family don’t want Omo Igbo..

Nextly leRRus not even go too far.. You all know that the lady I have the softest spot for on the universe right now ba?! I mean her beauty to me is perfectly flawless.. I mean i doubt if I will ever love anyBoRRy as much as i loved her.. She is perfect.. But then I have a feeling that she doesn’t like me anymore as much as I do her.. Sooo we are stuck in the Friend Zone... **Crying in Spanish... Now to say that this doesn’t hurt me is to lie.. But then I don’t really blame ladies who don’t wanna get intimate with me.. Cause thinking about it yeah.. Any lady that LOVES me.. Okay forget love sev.. that’s too Complex… Anylady that as much as “LIKES” me must deserve a Grammy.. heheheh I think I am waaayyyy too  much of a clown and a dreamer to be loved.. But hey.. I guess this is why I will adore my wife.. Cause insha Allah yeah... she must have stuck with me for a length before October 2019.. Well That’s if she stays with me long enough..

To conclude this thought yeah.. I have been thinking of a particular child for a bit… I met her just after I wrote my final exam at IMSU.. Now this child is uber amazing and she has the smile that radiates the room.. with her appearance Glowing like the sun itself.. But sadly yeah, we lost contacts and I haven’t seen or heard from her in literally forever… Now of recent, I have been thinking of her so so so much..hehehehe Her father is 1 big time politician… Did I mention that?!  Okay.. So just keep that part in your head first eh…  Cause last night yeah.. While I went on a Social Media rage..  Like the ghen ghen Nma Taught us ba.. I searched for her on literally every platform alive.. Bing oh, Instagram oh!, FaceBook oh.. Google oh.. but For Wia?! and when it all failed.. I resolved to apply my Instagram and facebook stalking skill on her relations….. SOOOO I went to her wall and traced all people close to her sending them very lonnnnggggg ghen ghen messages of how i miss their niece and all.. Now the kicker is one of the people I mumu-ishly sent messages to, happened to be her Uncle who is near 50 and held her when she was born.. Omo ehhnn gang… If you see threaten wey the man threaten me ehn.. hehehehe the fear was real.. I was literally like. "Aha! Sir eez neFer that deep nah.. I am sorry oh! Na LoF dey shack me.. " hehehehe… Oh well, you cannot blame them; Na Naija we dey!! But Luckily her Twin sister replied.. Now I dunno why but I have a good feeling about her… Hopefully she might be the ONE… Don’t worry Gang. You will be in the loop… Insha Allah.. Amma propose soon.. hehehhehehe call me crazy yeah.. But I am thinking Marriage already.. **Shines teeth…

Thank you for the past 7 minutes of your time Gang.. You do us a great Honor with it.. My prayer for you going into this week is simple, and it is that GOD’S will will be done, and noboRRy will break your heart or threaten you with Police because of L:of Nwan Tin Tin.. heheheh **Shines teeth

Blogger Stats:

Favour Moyse.. Now by Far ehn… Favour is one of the smartest sHildren I hav ever met on Blogger.. I mean just like my Otunne Ada, I go to Favour’s blog with huge intellectual HexSPectaSHion… To learn.. To be inspired and to grow.. and she neFer falls my hand.. I mean wow.. Gang.. Please check out her blog and be wowed..and Yyyyyyaaayyy she called me yesterday and I was smiling like a fish…

Ausserehl..  Now I try as hard as possible to not get too personal with Bloggers  cause they most times end up leaving me… But you see with Ausserehl I feel Bliss and Trust.. She Is at this moment the queen of my Blogsville Heart.. I mean the way I admire Ausserehl yeah.. and loF her mind ehnn.. You would feel like we are related by Blood.. She is just uber cool like that aswear.. If you haven’t been to her blog ehn! And you think all my Awwing isn’t True..  Then I am sorry you are sitting on a long thing.. She is ghen ghen like that.. Check her page and Aww with me.. **Shines teeth..

Ms Chrissy… Guys you need to meet Chrissy.. I mean y’all just need to.. She is ghen ghen like that aswear.. and and all shades of fun.. I love+ love+love how I can connect to her like a Nokia Charger to a Charging Port.. I mean its just like I can connect so easily to Sophie.. I still wonder how old she is though.. Cause she is soooo full of life… And has a ghen ghen Blog.. If you can Gang.. Please go by her blog ASAp.. And Kiss opr Shake my Hand leRRa…

Cheers Gang..and do have a ghen ghen week…  **Bumping head to Shadow Boxers line..

P.S: By the Time of Publishing this post.. I might not be in Lagos.. Please pray for me Gang.. I have a couple of meetings… But if anyBoRRy at work asks.. Please tell them I have Malaria…

Instagram: @youngandconfusedafrica

#Udo #ItcanonlybeGOD


  1. Another day, another love story, another gurl...smh

    Ermmm, safe trip to and fro.

    1. Hhehhehehehehehhe Kai... You this geh ehhhnnn.. I sha like you to my marrow... Thanks... I am currently headed out though... Will let you know... Thank you Nne.. For always... Inshort ya officially my crush of the week...

  2. duru he yaf come again? hope you find one person that will calm your brain and eyes down...hehehe..
    safe trip darling.

    check out zac efron in christian louboutin

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    1. Hehehhehehe No nah Glowy... I am hacSHually trying to be a cordinated someboRRy... But I am just not finding love in a hopeless place" hehehehhehehe Oh well... Guess my Oge will soon reach... Thank you for always Nne... Ya just a miracle ghen ghen someboRRy... **shines teeth...

  3. Replies
    1. Hehehhehehehheheheh aha nah Nne... I have him already... **Enters Pastor JdB mode... I was at Ya School today sef... Are you in Owerri Nma?!

  4. lolz @ U have malaria... thanks for the mention and i hope u find love soon cos we need to hear word for here

    1. Hehehhehehehehehehhe ya not sha ffeel fine oh you this geh... hehehhehe Be praying for me oh!!! So the geh wihh quick and come... **shines teeth... Thanks for consistently being an Angel Nne... Ya just amazing Bae... and aYam in Lof with your mind... **shines Teeth...

  5. Replies
    1. Oshey!!! Phessayo on Point... Me I dunno the name oh!!! But what I sha know is that wether Jonah Swallow the fish ohhh... Or the Fish Swallow Jonah.. as Long as there is swallowing and there is fish... then we are safe... Hence wether Dayo or Dapo... There is sha D dia... **winks... Thanks for always Fisayo... Ya an amazing lady Bubba... **Oya Chop wet Frech kiss... ;*

  6. The past always has a way of creating illusions in the present. It happens all the time. That special someone from the past with a great deal of influence on our emotions. But having said that, be careful what you wish for. For one thing I have learned is that time passes us all by, people change, and the past is just the past.

    I'm sure you meet new people every time, and you are at that stage in life where everyone is a potential -but we all know its what's on the inside that counts, right Duru?.

    Have a great week, and be the best.

    Peace always!

    1. Hehehheheheh King BlogoraTTi Yoooo... Always on Point... ah!! Yes oh Sir... in my 23 years 11 Months and 19 days head nah ehn bros... EFFERY single someboRRy is a potential... But I guess we just have to let and watch time play out... Thank you so much for your ghen ghen words of advice today and always sir... You Rock... Inshort.. after Buhari na Osinbanjo... after Osinbanjo na you sir :) And Yep... It's the inside that is the Koko...

  7. This rubbish Human being... U have finally comot my pixure lol.... Eh Duru I pray that girl will give u half room in her heart. Yimu

    1. Hehehehheheheheheheh King Ice ya sha. A mad man someboRRy... Hehehehhehehe your comment had me in stitches... Lmao... Hehehehheheh Amen oh!! Oh boy dey pray for me eh!!! Make she say Yes... I gats marry on time... **winks... How are you sir?! Thank you for always Ice Baba... You na correct guys... lmao.. Fish...