DISCLAIMER: I am very fine guys… Very! I am just bleeding but not dead.. I am just broken but not shattered… I guess this is one of those days that I pray to be the reader and you guys the bloggers.. I guess this is one of those days I hope someone will tell me that everything will be alright.
JdB: **With Lips trembling.. Sir I don't understand.. What does this mean?! Does it mean it’s over?!**Panting..
Call Receiver: **Stutters a bit.. Well.. I guess so…
JdB: **Inhales deeply… Okay sir.. Thank you... Ends Call on the 10.
Today is Thursday the 30th of July 2015.. And my world just crumbled before my very own eyes.. I don’t get it guys.. Aswear I don’t… I am not a good guy.. But I try. I mean I don’t keep all the laws.. But for the past 8 bloody years I tried… But why.. Why do bad things happen to me?! By GOD’S grace.. The easiest thing for me to get all my life has been money.. but I mean all my life.. I have had to experience pain.. I mean 1998, 2007 (where all this nonsense bagan), 2009, 2012 and now 2015… What did I do to deserve this hurt?! What did I do to deserve this pain?! Truth is I don’t know Gang.. But as I ended that call last Thursday.. I curved like a crayfish on the bed.. Just like I did in 2013… and all I could think of was nothing.. Zip! Zero!! My mind was absolutely blank.. It was over gang.. This was the end.
Dr. Duru walked into my room just at the Apex of the phone conversation.. hehe I think she came to check if I had any plate in my room as is customary of me after having dinner.. She is my ‘Junior goan wash your plate” reminder… Prior to this day… We had been praying as a family.. I mean we prayed.. We believed.. We hoped.. We had faith.. and when I told her what the caller told me.. She broke for me **My eyes are getting all watery and shi right now… She broke down cause we never hexspRRed this aswear.. Dad immediately called for a family meeting on how to progress.. You see why he is our strength.. Always making us forge on strong regardless… We had to deliberate on what we were gonna do… I told him to sell my inheritance.. He ignored me like I was the sea breeze.. And then the meeting ended in peace… As I went back to my room. The more Junior Sorry I heard the more my eyes filled with Tears… “For the first time I saw you cry Today”.. Nneka Said.. I smirked… I guess just as the rest of the world.. All the while.. she only saw what I wanted the world to see… The Energy.. The smiles.. The Playfullness.. The Hard work,… The Dreams on my room door.. The hopes.. The strength.. The Woman wrapper… But she had very rarely seen the part of me that very few ever see… Hell!! I think only Ribena has ever heard it over the phone sev… But last Thursday yeah… She saw the part of me that was broken beyond repair…
As I looked out of the room window… The clouds were blue… My elder brother tapped me on my shoulder and muttered the words “It will be alright, be strong” But sincerely.. Those weren’t the words I wanted to hear. I looked to the blue skies.. Luckily there was NEPA so the blaring Noise of Festac generators were AWOL.. and I stood there asking GOD why.. I asked him why he didn’t keep to his promise? I asked him why he let me work so hard for nothing… I pondered on why I had to feel so much pain.. Why always me like the legendary T-Notes said last week… I asked him why he let bad things happen to me ALONE… But just then.. I realized that no matter how Mad I was at GOD.. I couldn’t hate him… Cause he has in the past 3 years shown me too much proof of his love for me.. Too much proof to ever doubt him. I cried gang.. I mean cold tear drops ran down my cheeks… I was broken again.. and this time… I was hurt real bad.
In the midst of all this Chaos and Agony of last week Thursday… As I paced the room like a mad man thinking nothing, but just too afraid to sit at a place for fear of thinking… I thought of Suicide for a brisk second.. but then it hit me that that would be me giving up on you guys.. On life.. on my Dad… On my Dreams.. On my Family… I am no Chicken! I Will not quit! and just like Reverend Father Anthony Njoku taught me.. The good times of life are far more than the bad hard times.. I wont do such... So as I kept pacing. Asa’s track (I think it was 66 on my stick) began to serenade my ear drum via the HT’s speakers.. and then a line went “Tomorrow”. I smiled… Tomorrow.. Tomorrow. Tomorrow.
Tomorrow is a day I never used to believe in.. more because it feels like an excuse to not maximize today… But Now.. Here.. Right now…With all this pain those Bastards caused me regardless of my pleas.. With all this pain my non-challantness caused me in 2007… I am forced to hold on to Hope even if it feels like her hands are dead cold.. I am forced to believe in tomorrow… Cause at the end of everything.. Everything will be alright.. So if everything is not alright now.. then we are not at the end.. So don’t give up on your dreams.
P.S: As I got home on Friday… Dad said “If all my other children can get it.. then you who matters will get it too” PARAPHRASED… You see?! Suicide would have been wrong.. Dad just gave me a reason to Live… For him.. and for the family. I wont quit.. I will not LOSE THE LIGHT.
Shall We continue to live in Sin that Grace may Abide?! No! GOD FORBID_ GOD
**Changes Station! AbegI I wihh not come and goan be depressed.. Olorun maje.. They have Done their own.. GOD will do his own.
Yyyyyaaaayy Gang! I spoke to CatWoman last night.. Whopp ! Whoop!! I cant frigging keep calm.. That geh is just a bae like that **blushes.. I mean if you hear her voice ehn! Chisos! Hehehe temptation wihh catch you no be small.. She is a bae-ST bae.. and **drum roll… She is the YnC Reader of the month of July.. I mean she was HERE on literally every post last month.. She is a bae like that. Her picShur will be on the wall all month.. heheheh Whoop whoop.. I am excited much **Wears Mr. Nigeria smile..
Our Top 3 posts of July are.. **Drum Roll…
1. This ghen ghen post by the legendary iBlog with grace.. Its definietely one of my most favorite posts ever!! On Blogger .. And I mean EVER!!!
2. This post by the legendary Cladora.. It was tha bomb.. I mean it was the Shizzles ma people.. Motherhood Is a very ghen ghen thing for me.. Hence this post had me feeling cold and warm at the exact same time.
3A. Weather for two by Ijagz..The truth is ehhnn Gang! I am still madly in love with Ijagz.. You know why! Cause in my world.. When you meet someboRRy that makes you happy.. Whether the world chooses to let you both stay in love or not.. As long as she makes you happy.. Then hold on to her. This post was AMAZINGLY Hilllarious.. hehehe
3B. You are who Google says you are! Trust Lola nah.. She can neFer fall hand… This post is an Award winner… Hehehe I guess I aint crushing only on Lola’s beauRRy.. but on her brainas awelll… Amazing article I tell you Gang.. Amazing..
So there goes gang...Thank you for the past 7 minutes of your time fam… You guys and MONEY hehehe are literally what wakes me up every morning. And the crowd goes Ooooooossshheey Turn uP! My prayer for you this week is that GOD will show you that he is GOD even when man makes it seem impossible to believe.