Wednesday, 9 December 2015

Is it a crime to be woman?

The cold and dry air here is almost making me go back to sleep. Hola…everyone! How are yall doing? I’m really feeling this harmattan but I wish it comes without dust. Thanks everyone for the sweet comments in my last post. I was wowed!!! Your ghen ghen comments (in Duru’s voice) made my week, I nefer hexpered it. If you haven’t read it, please do.

So that was how Duru put me up for sale ooo on his social media accounts, I was just dumbfounded when everyone wants to know who Nike is. Moreover, those descriptions are who I am and anyone who cares to know more about me will instantly identify them. These weren’t developed in one day, they were as a result of real convictions, constant behavioural reviews and thirsts for pure knowledge. The bible is the best place to get the right and the right knowledge on how to live one’s life. Try it to see!

This world is indeed a “men’s world”. You can beg to differ though, but I think it’s more in this part of the world because our culture exalts men. Women are looked upon as a commodity, a sexual tool not a real part of the society that can rise doggedly and attain the seat of success. I listen to guys’ conversations, when they hear the mention the successful women in Nigeria (the likes of Mo Abudu and co) they end up saying these women were only ‘favoured’ because they’ve served the bed of some important men in the society. Yea…that’s what a good percentage of men believe.

Gender inequality is still on the high side. Chimmanda Adichie is ever right, walk to a posh restaurant with a man even though the man might be your driver, the man is considered the real person in the society while the woman can be likened to anything a man can buy. Men shop for women like they do for cars, houses and other material things now-a-days. I am very bothered about this.

I am loving my generation, this generation is the turning point of the dominance of men. In the next half century, there will be more women in the affairs of power. I definitely believe that if you educate a woman you educate a whole nation. I’m directing this to all the ladies, you have to step up your games. The previous generation has bamboozled us with these limiting mind-sets that we are at the mercy of men, That we ONLY exist and live for men. The society has shaped our minds that we have to be preparing ourselves from day one of our life to serve our husbands neglecting our dreams and aspirations, neglecting what we value most. And that everything ends in the kitchen. Obviously, if this way of life worked, there wouldn’t be a need for a new reformation.

I really don’t call myself a ‘feminist’ as most people have miss-defined its intent meaning, I believe a man is different from a woman, just like there are unique functions of everything, a male is uniquely made so also a female. But the function and the role of our gender should not deprive us of living life to the fullest, exploring all our innate abilities and feeling fulfilled and happy.

There are so many women who inspire me. I try to learn from them and learn from their mistakes too but I wonder how challenging it is indeed for them to have become successful in this “male -dominated-world”. Because I have been able to understand, even the most respected of men as I have encountered will want to take advantage of you. A lot of women give in, they sell their pride and values in the process, and this is no different from bribery and corruption. As we stand against corruption, we need to stand against that too. As far as I don’t present myself as a whore, why harass me if I don’t give you the consent to?I I can’t count the numbers of men who I respect so much and I have walked up to them and they turn to me with a nasty request because I happen to be a woman.

Everywhere, there are all kinds of people; there are prostitutes in the bible too as well as there are gigolos. I am a woman, I make effort to look good to define who I am and I carry myself in the best way I can exude my self-confidence. I give my best smiles to inform the world how nice I am. I am not a prostitute, I am not a bed warmer, go to ho-houses if you want one. I have rejected offers and favours because of these nasty attitudes of most men. Just very few men are my confidants; I don’t even have a male mentor. They all disappoint me.

Like every human created by God, we all have our potentials, I think everyone should be respected based on how you can contribute to your world (be a reasonable citizen of planet earth) and not based on gender.

Adenike Bamigbade (
Instagram @adenikebam



  1. I must say Nike that this post had me thinking about how I treat ladies eh! And how i need to step up my respect meter a Top notch. Now while i do not support the whole Feminism Women and Men Equality "idea" daRRis spreading like wild fire without Fire service control.. I also cannot deny that there is sincere need to begin respecting women more, and seeing them as more than Boobs and Ass (Pardon my description). This was a worthy read AdeNike my geh friend.. and I sincerely Love and admire the depth contained there in..

    Ghen ghen! Nike e haf vex oh! She be dishing out her post like Oshey! Now a days eh! Nice one Nike.. This was a worthy read. Cant wait for Next week.. Whoop! Whhoop!!!

  2. i don't brand myself as a feminist but i keep saying its the woman that teaches the man how to treat her...its that simple...i love me and i keep saying i am enough... women are not been treated right all the times that is true, they are victimised and all dose plenty ish but seriously we women need to respect and love ourselves more


  3. Its an intriguing and honest post with very valid points that we all can learn from. I appreciate your effort to bring this to light, it doesn't get talked about that often.
    Having said that, we all need to practice tolerance, but first we must become more enlightened.

    Greetings and best wishes!

  4. I am so reading in between the lines here. Great share. #iknowwhoiam