Is it difficult to find another guy, why do girls get entangled with someone not befitting?
Hello house, it’s been a while since I’ve last visited. Hope you guys are rocking your world? It’s very important you do so, as every day is a gift from God and we’ve got to live it to the fullest. I’m improving too sha…
Let’s talk a bit about relationship. Considering the above title, believe guys too experience this but this is for every lady. This was something I experienced. It’s crazy to think of how I made myself get entangled in a ridiculous web of sheer stupidity. But Hey! You know what they say, Love makes us do crazy things.
Getting into relationship with someone is a conscious decision abi?! like I was very sane and I wasn’t under the influence of anything?! You know what you are looking for and you know what you saw to have said ‘yes’. But the disturbing thing is when the situation doesn’t look as good as earlier expected, why don’t you get out of it? Mind you, both of you are not married and so it is not a divorce, it is a process of you defining your choice and looking out for someone that perfectly (to a humanly degree) fit your purpose in life.
Though nobody is perfect but what if the situation is purely a pain in the ass. All through, the relationship sucks, both of you neither understand each other leading to constant argument, it’s always a few minutes happiness with him and later it turns sour, there is no trust and you are not completely free with him. I was in a situation like this for almost two years, entangled in it and scared of leaving him. It seemed he was the only good guy, though he had some good attributes but I feared other guys might be worse. After all, I never caught him cheating on me… but wait oh, come to think about it; what if he was and I never knew?!
That’s not a good thing to disturb one’s head with but what I later realized was that despite my love for him, involving me always trying to amend things and still seeing him as the best choice while he acted the opposite every day with no remorse, I was always thinking he would change. I would find excuses to why he acted the way he did, blaming the weather, stress, Nigerian economy, everything, I mean even every other persons experience and still act normal while at it, I would think these were what triggered his disgusting attitudes. I could not realize how insignificant and less of a woman this guy saw me. I would say I was sorry after every argument even though it was evident he was on the wrong side.
I think the question that should follow was ‘what did I really do to deserve such? I was in a relationship with someone I thought we mutually shared something together; deep affection. Initially, it was like we were in paradise, but little by little as I began knowing him, I saw a complete different person every day. We still tried to act like two civilized people telling each other the possibility of separating if we are not for one another; he stood on this point that he was ever cool with me. Yeah you are I would say to myself, but still you treat me like I was your worst enemy and in reply he would hit my ear drum with words like “I don’t break a relationship with a lady, she leaves if she wants and you know Nike, I don’t have a problem looking for another lady”. Choi… Nike you have suffered! That statement clearly said something.
I don’t know if this is similar to what you’ve experienced or heard or even experiencing, but this was my situation. When a man says this, just pack yourself and walk out. Even though your first date was like you were in paradise, this guy has just considered you as just a fling. Though he ate his words back when I eventually walked out, this was after I made him realize that I am Nike not “a fling”, I am Nike a unique and outstanding lady, I am priceless and special, and any man that has me just got himself the best thing in the world. I first believed in these words myself and it changed everything ME. I didn’t have to convince him or any man that this is who I am. They see it and respect me.
Those periods, I was in emotional war with myself. Despite the debasing statement he made, instead of walking towards the door cause why try to become a pie to someone who sees you as a shit? I did the opposite; I backed the door and felt guilty for everything. I was psychologically derailed and I let myself to be enslaved. I believed I wasn’t worth it and I lost my self-pride. It was as if I allowed him to dominate me and I saw him as a god that I must never cease worshipping. This sank down my self-esteem; as I thought I wasn’t good enough for other guys to recognize me. I got my brain beclouded. Then I realized what most girls go through, such a preposterous situation that they can’t even say out. But frankly, I was stupid and I think is anyone that stays in such a situation.
The craziest thing was that after I left him which I later did, girls like me were advising me not to have left him. Some had the revenge strategy while most reminded me of my first fear that guys outside are worse. But excuse me, I am not looking for a perfect guy without flaws but one who will come for me because he is looking for a rose that will complement him that he will take dearly and watch out for it not to wither.
I am a lady, I am a typical African woman who wants to love her husband, respect him and endow him with all the attributes of a woman. I want to be that woman that is referred to in the adage “for every successful man, there is a successful woman”. I want to be that beautiful thing the bible describes “he, who finds a wife, has found a good thing”.
Now I am out, my world is different, the color of the sky now radiantly blue, the leaves flourishingly green, the oceans grandiose and great unable to consume the huge sky, dews noiselessly falling at night and the stars glittering so beautifully from their far distance. My skin now glows, my smile wider and more sincere (not the fake happiness I was forming then), I don’t need to say how beautiful and stunning I look now.
A lady needs to understand how priceless she is, thank God I wasn’t battered, that is how I would have stayed glued claiming it was shower of love, but most ladies experience this even those that are well respected in the society. Most times, I do recommend friendship before dating so as to have good knowledge about the other person. Yeah, it is true one cannot completely know someone even after a decade, but you just know what you want from the person you want to be your own and glue up to that person. Nobody is perfect but there is someone whose stupidity is your cure for pain not the other way round.
Picture Source: www.google.com
Picture Source: www.google.com