Monday, 29 February 2016

The Innocence of a child...

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Turn uP Turn up Ladies and Gentlemen… Whats up? whats up??!! Whats up???!?!?! Adjusts shaky shaky chair! **Cleans lone tear.. Kai I miss my office Jangolova chair shaa.. How are we doing Gang?! How was the friGGing weekend?! Hope your doing well and that ya creating love like love is all we’ve got Babyyyyy!!! Heheheh How is the cold Heat?! But Holl up oh! Isnt it Ironical Gang?! How they say its Frigging Hot in Nigeria.. and how daily weather is like 1 Degrees Celsius in this Obodo Nation?! I hear its so hot back home yeah.. that you can literally take a cup of water.. Put Raw Egg inside and put them under the Sun.. and tada the Egg will boil :(.. heheh and then here.. I am here wearing almost 5 clothes at the same friGGing time oh! Omo… GOD created oh! Ahah! How can 2 different places on the same Earth have different time et weather?! Choi! I am Awed!!!

So I am still in England, and life here is not a joking things sam sam oh! Last night I did an analysis of how much I have spent since I got here yeah, and I literally shouted!! Aaha!! Kilode?! This people here can make you spend money for Africa faaa **Deep sigh... 1 pound 1 pound.. before you know.. Viam! **In Phyno’s voice.. “It haf do you VOOM n’anya” and yaff come and goan spent almost  50 Pounds :( and just for the record.. This is Heart braking to even think about sef **Wears Angry face.. From now on ehn.. **Puts hands on Chest like Super Eagles Players singing National Anthem! Na coins coins I go dey carry waka.. All the paper money will be under Padlock and key.. **Wears Serious face

So Last Friday yeah.. the cravings was too much so I resulted in going to a night club! and omo ehnn!! What my eyes saw ehn! Choi! A neFer hexspeRRed eett! **Cleans face! The things I saw my Mouth fit not to talk. At a time yeah.. I just sat there and was amazing in amazement.. First off onyibo people sabi chop life.. Choi!!!  Nextly, **Whispers... I saw one geh whose Bum bum and her Belle were directly proportional in flatness and still she was forming Shakira.. I saw people Dry Humping like it was the norm..  People kissing and smooching each other like no man’s business.. sitting down there yeah.. all I saw was how much growing up makes us lose our innocence.. I enjoyed the view sha :)

As Children yeah.. we were born with minds as clear as a slate.. with hearts yearning for love, purpose, reason and the hope of making a difference. But sitting at the club after my Beer finished.. Watching Young people (me inclusive) Dry Hump, consume alcohol and more or less do what grown up’s do left me a bit bothered after the excitement wore off. I mean what happened to when we were much younger and all that mattered was Happiness and not money, love and not lust, fun and not just temporal 4 minutes ecstasy?!

Last time I checked, I was 7 and Cigarette was a crime punishable by Death, peeping under a woman's skirt was not just a crime, but a crime that came with the song “”ghen ghen ghen.. ghen ghen ghen… I will tell aunty for you” and that alone sent the fear of “Ah Daddy will disown me” Down my spine.. Last time i checked yeah.. Drinking Alcohol was a sin punishable by Lightning :(, and then saying the word SEX not even engaging in it sef was a clear ticket to Hell fire! Oh the innocence of a child.. 1 minute Girls were “Gooey Gooey” creatures that always wanted to be in my space and me not wanting them around… and the next minute.. they are like Air with me and all the guys at the club craving after them like kilode!

Growing up does a lot to us Young people.. I at 24 think that top of the list of what growing up does to us ba;  is that it takes away our innocence and leaves us making crazy decisions that most times end up scaring us, and leaving us with so much emotional pressure, guilt, pain and hurt in general. So my sermon this morning is simple and straight to the point.. So here goes;

Don't be afraid to grow up.. to experience life.. to learn… but while at it yeah.. Don’t be ashamed to stay young and na├»ve at heart in your own little way. All in all yeah.. Don’t lose yourseelf in search of yourself.

Thank you for the past 7 minutes of your time Gang.. You do us a great Honor with it.. My prayer for ye this week is that the Heat in Nigeria will not come and goan Turn you into Toast bread..  hehehehe Sha Bye Bye Gang..  before I put myself in Trouble. #Shade :)

P.S; I read this amazing Articleon Mrs :) Oyinlola Sobowale's Blog of Destiny last night.. About the Boko Haram Menance..  and although it’s a bit stale.. It is the best read I have EVER and reiterate EVER had on the subject... as it had me thinking.. How much more?!.

All pictures without link source were sourced from 

Instagram na TwiRRa; @youngandconfusedafrica na @young&confusedafrica

#Udo #ItcanonlybeGOD

Sunday, 21 February 2016

Life in Obodo ONYIBO!!!!!!!

Comes in singing in my Chronic Igbo Accent** He is a miracle working GOD.. He is a miracle working Father.. He is Alpha and Omegaaaaaa... 

Hiya Gang! A bala'm Obodo Onyibo... ooohhh!!! In English! aYaf enter Obodo Onyibo oh!!!!! Praise daaa lawdd someboRRy.. My passport is no more a Virgin eh.. hehehehe.. If you can Gang... Please see video on my 3 things about Obodo Onyibo after 1 day... 

P.S: Thank you soooooo mega much gang... for your comments on the OUR last post.. Those ghen ghen words will heal many gang.. Insha Allah yeah... you amazing humans have touched lives in advance! 


Instagram pelu TwiRRa: @youngandconfusedafrica na @young&confusedafrica

#Udo #ItcanonlybeGOD

Monday, 1 February 2016

What Happened?!

Turn up Turn uP ladies and gentlemen.. Whats up Gang! Whats the friGGing 411 eh! Kilo haPPin?! Whats uppp???! Mehnn Right about now ehhnn.. I am trying to feel too fly to be sad! Cause meehn it’s a frigging new month yo!!! Aint no boRRy gats time for mushy mushy in February mbok! So whats up Team! Happy new month of Destiny! Choi! Nawa oh! Eeezz not a joking things for states eh! Asin Play play- play play January e haf voom! And nah nah Valentine e haf show!  Nawa ohhH!!!  Wo! This Valentine ehnn.. I.. Duru Adolphus Jnr.. **Adjusts Agbada.. me aYaf already made up my church mind.. that on that day ehhnn..  Since aYam still geh friend less ehn.. Amma do something that will drink up all my time that day! Like.. Travel by Road to Abuja.. orrr! Trek from Victoria Island to Festac… orrrr yeah! ‘Light bulb..’ Go to the bar and Drink all the beer my wallet can purchase.. That way I will sleep faster and before you know it Valentine e haf finish! Kapish! Q.E.D

Wo lemme just use this medium to preach my singles Gospel! and tell all of you that it is alright to be alone oh! Sooo don’t let anyboRRy come and rain on your parade on Valentine’s Day sam sam! I know I am Course Rep of #TeamConsoleYaself.. But I am sincere now. So..  Live.. Laugh and Love.. But more importantly yeah.. Learn to LOVE yourself cause till you are in Love with you ba.. Aint noboRRy gonna love you.

So I have been feeling a bit one kain one kain in the passing days! I mean it feels like I am growing up waayyyy too fast, and sincerely yeah.. I have been looking for the growing up manual… cause apparently ba.. this growing up ish is way too HARD! I mean how can I not learn if I don’t experience and how can I experience without making a mistake?! You geRRit nah Ba?! You get my Dilemma ba?!

So..  What happened?

What happened to the moments when nothing much happened?! What happened to the days when all I needed to do was wake up, eat, cry to mother and be cuddled. What happened to the days when I didn’t need to ask for someone to love me.. but it was an affection I received by default?! What happened to the time when love was a Constant and not a variable? What happened to the moments that I was happy to declare “Daddy I have Malaria” not just cause it was an opportunity to go to a Clinic that used Elevators and eat Mr. Biggs before we take injection, but cause I knew they would cuddle me through the night. Oh What Happened?

What happened?! What happened to the times when I didn’t need to wake up by 3: 47 AM  every morning all in search of Survival or should I just put it sincerely and say “Money”.. In pursuit of millions or Kobo's.. in search of the “BIG MAN LIFE”. What happened to the days when once I was broke.. all I needed do was go to a corner of Dad’s room and look at him so teeeyyy boRRy go tell am… and till he asked the Glorious “Are you Okay?! kweshion of laife” that will be followed by go into my pidgin hole and take .... :)

What happened?! What happened to the moments when all I felt was alive.. the moments when  all I felt was maybe not peace (as I have been confused for as long as I can remember) but at least the moments when Happiness was a constant that was given freely by nature and didn’t have to be Pursued?! What happened to Biker Mice?! To Dennis the Menace.. to Freakazoid.. to Mickey Mouse, to Power rangers.. to Thunder Cats!

Where did all the time pass to.. When will these sincere feelings ever return?! What is happening to me?! Cause if this is growing up.. Then sincerely.. I am not ready to grow up.

Thank you for the past 7 minutes of your time Gang.. My  prayer for you is that in this new month of February ehnn.. your MB will not come and goan finish when you never hexSpeRRed eet :( Blessings

Instagram/Twitter: @youngandconfusedafrica/@young&confusedafrica

#Udo #ItcanonlybeGOD