Turn up Turn up Ladies and Gentlemen.. Whats uP! Whats uP! Whatssss upppp!!!! Omo no jokes eh! Forget Heart Break eh! Nothing hurts more than when your account balance reads 0. 00 in any Currency at all.. But Worry not! Oluwa gats you.. Money wihh show... Can I hear an Ameenn someboRRy?! I’m Duru.. Whats good YnC Gang?! Whats been happening?! hafa hafa hafa! Omo like play like play eh.. I have been on sabbatical lori blogger eh! I feel so guilty to have been away.. but you know nah! **Wears Martin Luther King face.. There comes a time in a man’s life when he has to leave Blogger and Pursue woman :D Choi! I never hexspeRRed eet eh! To be away this long i mean.. I so hate been stale on gist! But oh! Well. Life! Aight.. with no much Adue.. lets dance shall we?!
So Insha Allah yeah.. I have been on a traveling spree in the last 3 weeks. Omo as you see me so ehnn.. **Adjusts Agbada :) Every day on my Visa must be maximized to the fullest ehh! Biko.. Omolomo cannot come and goan sleep on top of Keke lori Obodo Onyibo :) lemme maximize this waka to the maximum- maximum. So in the light of my Traveling Spree; I got to meet Calabar geh of Destiny and the crowd goes Yyyyyaay! 1st off lemme quickly tehh you that Calabar geh is too cool for school yo! I mean no jokes eh! She is a sexy someboRRy for days **cleans Sweat.. I mean Ogbono Feli-feli kinda hot! annnndddd she drives an Aeroplane.. I mean her car can send Text message nah.. How much cooler does it get?! You know all these ghen ghen onyibo cars that can do Back flip ba?! Eheenn.. that’s the kinda car she drives #TeamBadAss :).. No doubt eh! She is boss like that.
Please be informed Gang.. that I have officially Kissed Dating good bye **cleans lone tear.. And I think I mean it this time
Ifaye!! . Lemme gist you why! A couple of Days ago.. I used the hard
earned money that my Father sent me to survive to go to London instead. Please be informed that
London to Coventry is like Lagos to Benin.. hence if I tried to Trek it as usual.. na 5 days
journey by Legedis benz be that heheh.. So I Buss'ED' it.. and I was so excited. Now prior to my meeting
with this geh.. me and the babe had been doing loff lori Whatsapp ati Mail for almost 2 years now.. and I like to think that the
geh e haf trip for me pata pata like butter
lori bread. You trust me nah Gang.. when my head is correct.. I can speak fine fine English for daysss nah.. so all my messages had been bursting her head on Gmail and WhatsApp
and lo when I met her.. I was in for the shock of my life.. Inshort I realised
that “Its not by Beauty alone”
Its beyond me how people can seem arrogant.. and feel like the world is theirs.. it is beyond me how a geh just because she is fine like mami water and has a body like Beyonce.. fails to look at others with a lens of Beauty as well :(. it is funny how a geh simply because she speaks like someone who has Hot yam in her mouth hence the many many Phonetics she spews.. will look at a full grown 24 years 166 Days old fine boy like Duru with his 3 dimple.. 5 Muscles.. 6 Packs.. monstache and swag et al.. and stand up and leave the lunch table.. and then its hit me that the geh has failed to realize that "Love is Blind!”
I must confess sha.. I creeped her out a little. Sadly before I met her.. I was having a Burger King on the train.. and lo when I met her.. apparently I had something on my nose.. Embarrassingmoment101.com! But my kweshion is what happened to all those love scenes in Onyibo movie that the geh will see a guy that looks broke and love him still.. what happened to all those scenes that a girl will choose to be with a guy regardless of what she sees on the surface? What happened to taking a “leap of faith?!” I was talking to some one when i went to London Last weekend.. and she said.. "Duru.. You are too Razz" heheh and then it hit me.. that if you cannot like me for the Razz that I am now.. you will not cherish me enough for the Tush I will become :).
Mehn no jokes oh Gang.. I thought getting a geh friend in Nigeria was HARD WORK! Trust me.. that one na Child's play in comparison to what my eyes have 'saw' hia! because apparently yeah.. Many girls in the UK think that you want to date them only for profit and not for love.. and I am like come on!! Because I don’t have money at 24 does not come and goan mean that I will not jam money when I hit 25 now! Abeg they need to chill.. Cause look me.. look me well well.. “This is not my real face oh”
Thank you for investing the last 7 minutes of your time in my life gang.. Don’t worry.. my Brain is clearing small small.. The woman wrapper is leaving.. the confusion is cleaning.. hence I promise to make you knowing me personally worth it.. I promise to make you proud.. I will love you forever real real... Yes.. YOU!
Y’all do me a great Honour with your time.. and my prayer for ye this week is simple.. May ATM Machine not swallow your card on Friday Night when you go to Turn up with bae.