Monday, 23 May 2016

Musings of a RELAXED African Hair :)



**Singing in D-banj’s voice.. Ah! Koleyewan! Eh!! Koleyewan! Whooooo is knocking on my Door?! Koleyewan! :) Hiya people of the Almighty.. how you guys doing?! You alright?! Okay lemme just say that Today feels like a good day.. **Rubs Hair like Onyibo someboRRy.. I mean I feel like I am on a frigging role this morning.. like I drank a jar of Coffee in my Dream.. So join me and enjoy the moment.. How you ask?! Its as simple as.. Inhale.. Exhale.. Enjoy!!!



How’s it been Gang.. Its funny how life is turning out eh… But Today.. lemme tell you someth’N amma not gonna come and goan complain NADA.. Amma just go Osssshheeey Turn uP and smile a lot!

For those of you that dunno yeah.. I am big sulker for 2 things in everyone I meet.. Male or Female.. i.e Ghen Ghen Shoes.. and Amazing hair. I mean for women.. I am Team Natural or Team Braids in that I appreciate women with their Natural Hair flowing like mami water's own.. or those who have patience to endure the suffering and 5 Hours surgical operation that is called “Braiding”.. To those I say Y’all are the real MVP... the definition of endurance. Salute! However.. for guys.. I am a sulker for well treated Hair… and it don’t matter if you are Black or white :D

Since coming to this country and partying, drinking and Chilling with mixed races Friday after Friday.. It has hit me that the hair of a man is one of his most important attributes in life.. so it must be treated with Tender love and utmost Respect. It is for this reason and more that I have taken a pledge to keep my hair looking sharp always like Tiger razor Blade.



I recently went to inquire on how much to get a Haircut.. and when I innocently asked how much it would cost yeah.. the Onyibo woman said it would cost me 53 Pounds to cut my hair. Blood of Zachariah!! 53 Pounds?! That is Naira 15, 240 Naira… Omo ehn Gang of destiny.. if you see the speed of light I used to heXiitt the premises.. which means I bosita like Falz would say ehnn… Hussein Bolt had nothing on me :(. That has actually strengthened my resolve to trace my Root and maintain my African Heriatage.. i.e African hair..  I am now a Proud Card carrying member of the Relaxer Hair Gang.. Coventry Branch.

From Relaxing my Hair.. I have learnt 3 things.. that;

1 That life is hard.. but you can make the best of it.
You see ehn.. I am an African man.. to the core… and this puts me in the category of people whose hair naturally does ka ka ka when you are combing it. It hurts like hell.. and sometimes combing my hair feels like me paying penance for all my Sex Chat sins ** covers face.. but then I have learnt that that’s just how life is… Hard.. tough.. Bristle.. but regardless still.. we all can make the best out of it.. we just have to find our way around the Tough times.. and it will be alright.. We all have to simply find a way around. In my case.. it is Relaxer :)

2. Nothing is permanent
Thing about Relaxed Hair is that it looks amazing when you come out of the shower. I like to feel like David Becham in the shower self.. with me low key stroking my hair back as water rolls over my body **Winks.. omo ehnn.. if you saw me in the shower.. You would think i am doing one of those Tommy Hilfiger adverts. No jokes oh! Baba gats style like that eh :).. and when I come out of the shower.. look at my hair in the Mirror.. it looks amazing and compensates for the chest.. 6 packs and Girlfriend I don’t have. But fast forward to when the British Sun.. Cold and wind hits me hard.. all the curls are gone and bam.. David Beckham mode is deactiFated and e haf heXSpire.. and this has hit me that.. just like my Hair.. Nothing is permanent.. So in life.. enjoy today.. don’t worry about tomorrow.. Just LIVE

3. LIFE IS NOT AS BAD AS IT SEEMS

Now this is one very important thing that relaxing my African Hair has taught me.. as looking at me in the picture below would make you think I was going Bald. I like to say SEEM cause its not true. Without a haircut.. my entire Hairline is messed up.. with my hair looking like something they used Bottle to barb.. and a Rat Night Club Dance Floor. It is well. My point is.. seeing me with full Hair.. you would swear my hair line was gone.. but once I get a Haircut.. you will know that there is hope.. and that’s something oh! So! Ghen ghen about life.. Its NEVER as bad as it seems.. So don’t think anything negatively.. Just enjoy life and live every moment.


Thank you for the past 7 minutes of your time Gang.. my prayer for you is simple.. As you go into this week ba.. may you find Extra Miraculous money in your Current et Savings Account. Blessings Gang!

Instagram: @youngandconfusedafrica


#Udo #ItcanonlybeGOD

13 comments:

  1. The way the baldness will hug your head eh.. You will know assuredly that Christ is Lord. Why didn't you look for razor blade to do skin cut. That one is more economical na






    FAVOURMOYSE BLOG  

    ReplyDelete
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    1. hahahahahahhahahaha FavourMilo.. lol! You this child ehnn! You sha dont like me sam sam.. Now i know my Enemies.. lol! I cover my Hairline in the Blood of the lamb biko :)

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  2. So you used razor blade or you later used 15k to barb your hair?
    You look like you are having so much fun..

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    1. Ifeeooommmmaaa! My Baby!!! whats good Nne? Thank you soooo very much for coming on here.. iShy! iBlush! iTrip.. I MIsssss youuu!!!!!! heheheh i didnt Cut it oh! I am now Team Afro biko.. I caNNot be bothered sam sam.. Going over to your's ASAP!

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  3. Whoa. I think I like it better short as in the last photo.
    I wish the same for you! :)

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    1. luxxxxyyyyy!!!!!! heheheh I like it short too my Darling.. but aint nobody got time to be getting a Haircut every 2 weeks now.. So I am sticking to my full hair.. **Covers face.. How are you nne?! Whats up!!!

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  4. Kai!i could have sworn I commented when I read this post earlier.
    How are you Duru? No let relaxer turn your head bald oh. Lol.

    ReplyDelete
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    1. hahahahahhahahah lol! S2C! How are you Nne?! its been a Minute eh! Thank you sooo much for coming through Nne.. You Rock.. and... No oh! I reject Baldness in my Destiny :) Thank you xx

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  5. Looooooool @ 15k to cut hair....i wee just turn dada...i cant come and kill myself

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    1. hahahahahahahah oho!!! Now i know that it is not only IGBO people that like money! hehehe Thanks for coming by Blessing of Destiny.. my Celebrity Geh friend toh sure... You Rock Nne.. xx

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  6. Ah Duru, you are hilarious. Never a dull moment here. Your cheerful personality infects one even through the screen.

    3 excellent lessons . Lol

    India Arie did not know what she was singing when she sang "I am not my hair" We ARE our hair. We groom it, spend money and time on it. When it looks fine we feel like superstars and when it looks bad we feel just as bad.

    Indeed, make the most of every situation and enjoy life.

    ReplyDelete
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    1. Awwwghh! now you do me a honour so high.. that iBlush.. because i Totally dont deserve it.. #ItcanonlybeGOD mbok..

      Abi oh! The hair ish is not a joking sturvzz sam sam eh! I mean. The hair is power.. Hair is Golden!

      Neddduuuuuu!! Thanks for coming by my happYness.. Blessings!

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    ReplyDelete