**Singing in D-banj’s voice.. Ah! Koleyewan! Eh!! Koleyewan! Whooooo is knocking on my Door?! Koleyewan! :) Hiya people of the Almighty.. how you guys doing?! You alright?! Okay lemme just say that Today feels like a good day.. **Rubs Hair like Onyibo someboRRy.. I mean I feel like I am on a frigging role this morning.. like I drank a jar of Coffee in my Dream.. So join me and enjoy the moment.. How you ask?! Its as simple as.. Inhale.. Exhale.. Enjoy!!!
How’s it been Gang.. Its funny how life is turning out eh… But Today.. lemme tell you someth’N amma not gonna come and goan complain NADA.. Amma just go Osssshheeey Turn uP and smile a lot!
For those of you that dunno yeah.. I am big sulker for 2 things in everyone I meet.. Male or Female.. i.e Ghen Ghen Shoes.. and Amazing hair. I mean for women.. I am Team Natural or Team Braids in that I appreciate women with their Natural Hair flowing like mami water's own.. or those who have patience to endure the suffering and 5 Hours surgical operation that is called “Braiding”.. To those I say Y’all are the real MVP... the definition of endurance. Salute! However.. for guys.. I am a sulker for well treated Hair… and it don’t matter if you are Black or white :D
Since coming to this country and partying, drinking and Chilling with mixed races Friday after Friday.. It has hit me that the hair of a man is one of his most important attributes in life.. so it must be treated with Tender love and utmost Respect. It is for this reason and more that I have taken a pledge to keep my hair looking sharp always like Tiger razor Blade.
I recently went to inquire on how much to get a Haircut.. and when I innocently asked how much it would cost yeah.. the Onyibo woman said it would cost me 53 Pounds to cut my hair. Blood of Zachariah!! 53 Pounds?! That is Naira 15, 240 Naira… Omo ehn Gang of destiny.. if you see the speed of light I used to heXiitt the premises.. which means I bosita like Falz would say ehnn… Hussein Bolt had nothing on me :(. That has actually strengthened my resolve to trace my Root and maintain my African Heriatage.. i.e African hair.. I am now a Proud Card carrying member of the Relaxer Hair Gang.. Coventry Branch.
From Relaxing my Hair.. I have learnt 3 things.. that;
1 That life is hard.. but you can make the best of it.
You see ehn.. I am an African man.. to the core… and this puts me in the category of people whose hair naturally does ka ka ka when you are combing it. It hurts like hell.. and sometimes combing my hair feels like me paying penance for all my Sex Chat sins ** covers face.. but then I have learnt that that’s just how life is… Hard.. tough.. Bristle.. but regardless still.. we all can make the best out of it.. we just have to find our way around the Tough times.. and it will be alright.. We all have to simply find a way around. In my case.. it is Relaxer :)
2. Nothing is permanent
Thing about Relaxed Hair is that it looks amazing when you come out of the shower. I like to feel like David Becham in the shower self.. with me low key stroking my hair back as water rolls over my body **Winks.. omo ehnn.. if you saw me in the shower.. You would think i am doing one of those Tommy Hilfiger adverts. No jokes oh! Baba gats style like that eh :).. and when I come out of the shower.. look at my hair in the Mirror.. it looks amazing and compensates for the chest.. 6 packs and Girlfriend I don’t have. But fast forward to when the British Sun.. Cold and wind hits me hard.. all the curls are gone and bam.. David Beckham mode is deactiFated and e haf heXSpire.. and this has hit me that.. just like my Hair.. Nothing is permanent.. So in life.. enjoy today.. don’t worry about tomorrow.. Just LIVE
3. LIFE IS NOT AS BAD AS IT SEEMS
Now this is one very important thing that relaxing my African Hair has taught me.. as looking at me in the picture below would make you think I was going Bald. I like to say SEEM cause its not true. Without a haircut.. my entire Hairline is messed up.. with my hair looking like something they used Bottle to barb.. and a Rat Night Club Dance Floor. It is well. My point is.. seeing me with full Hair.. you would swear my hair line was gone.. but once I get a Haircut.. you will know that there is hope.. and that’s something oh! So! Ghen ghen about life.. Its NEVER as bad as it seems.. So don’t think anything negatively.. Just enjoy life and live every moment.
Thank you for the past 7 minutes of your time Gang.. my prayer for you is simple.. As you go into this week ba.. may you find Extra Miraculous money in your Current et Savings Account. Blessings Gang!